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June - The Classic Motorcycle Club of Johannesburg
The Classic Motorcycle Club P.O. Box 7709, Albermarle, 1410 The Master Link Vol.48 - No. 6 – June 2013 www.classicmotorcycleclub.co.za Contentment Page: 02 Page: 05 Page: 06 Page: 07 Page: 08 Page: 10 Page: 12 Page: 13 Page: 18 Page: 21 Page: 25 Page: 27 Page: 31 Page: 34 Page: 41 Page: 42 Page: 44 Calendar of Events/ New Members/ Notice Board Perpetual Motion Editorial BOTM News – World’s newest Indian honours Burt Munro Upcoming Events – CMC Convention Guess the Bike Feature – The Passing Show at the Pavillion Feature – Looking Back Special Report – The 1000 Bike Show 2013 Feature – Wet wet wet Past Event – The First South African CBX Get Together Marketplace Humour Faces CMC Committee Riding Shotgun [1] Calendar of Events June 2013 01 02 09 09 15 16 19 Benoni High School Wheels Day – Contact Charles Gardner 082 824 9731 Club Sunday – Containers open at 09h00 Bike of the Month: Honda Club Run DJ Remembrance Run – Contact Pierre 072 513 9432 Vintage Moto Cross – Eastern Cape Piston Ring Final 1000 Bike Show meeting July 2013 06/07 14 21 24 TBA 1000 Bike Show – Germiston High School Club Run Piston Ring 1000 Bike Show wrap up and report back Natal CMC Bike Show August 2013 04 04 10 11 18 21 TBA Club Sunday – Containers open at 09h00 Bike of the Month: Triumph Cars in the Park – POMC Vintage Moto cross – Gauteng Club Run? Piston Ring Club Night? Magnum Rally – Contact POMC September 2013 01 Club Sunday - Containers open at 09h00 Bike of the Month: BSA 08 Club Ride TBA SAVVA AGM 15 Piston Ring Swap meeting 18 Club Night? 21/22 Social Vinduro – Clarens 20-24 CMC Convention [2] October 2013 06 13 16 20 27 Club Sunday – Containers open at 09h00 Bike of the Month: All other Japanese except Honda CMC Winter Rally Contact – Pierre 072 513 9432 Club Night? Piston Ring Inter Provincial VMX – Venue to be advised November 2013 03 10 17 20 Club Sunday – Containers open at 09h00 Bike of the Month: American Day, Harley Davidson, Indian etc Club Ride Piston Ring AGM December 2013 01 01 08 13 15 Club Sunday – Containers open at 09h00 Bike of the Month: Scooter Day Kiddies Xmas Party Club ride in aid of charity Chairman’s Braai Piston Ring Please note that all CMC rides meet at the Clubhouse at 08:00 and depart at 09:00 unless otherwise stated. [3] Welcome New Members Andre Otto - BMW, Harley Davidson and Peugeot Colin Preddy - Yamaha and Suzuki Paul Danvers - Yamaha and Honda Wayne Scott - Yamaha, Honda and Bimota Gary Law - Ariel, BSA and Yamaha Notice Board NB: Bank Transfers and/or Direct Deposits - Please note that when paying any amount into the Club’s account, use your name as a reference. Without this information we cannot reconcile who paid what for which. It would help tremendously if your transfer/deposit confirmation could be faxed to the Treasurer on 086 672 8941 with full details! 1000 Bike Show – Assistance Required We are looking for people to volunteer as runners at the 1000 Bike Show on the 6th and 7th July. Preferably kids who are over the age of 14, but adults are also welcome to assist. This will be primarily to assist the gate staff while they keep the gate running smoothly. If you are able to assist then please contact Mandy on 082 728 6954 and she will be able to give you more details. [4] Perpetual Motion The Postal Strike has played havoc with Magazine deliveries, I urge you to consider receiving your magazine electronically. Please drop me an email at [email protected] and I will add you to the list. This will get you your magazine before Club Sunday The arrangements for the 1000 Bike Show has started, if you can assist, please drop me a line. We are introducing a new way of judging the bikes t the show this year, please familiarize yourself with this, there is a write up in this magazine. The club is always looking to buy spares and to keep the containers well stocked, if you are aware of any spares that are available please let me know. Safe Riding Pierre [5] Editorial The hurrier I go, the behinder I get… My word, the world seems to have gone into overdrive. Just the other day I was pounding away at the keyboard putting the Master Link together. Click ‘send’ and “Aaaaah, now I can relax”. Nope. Five weeks blitzed by and here I am at it again. Not that I’m complaining, it’s just an observation. During this fast paced month there’s been a lot on the go. Club Sunday was another glorious day with plenty action on the green. There was some real eye candy in the form of a brand new, 2013 Norton Commando Café Racer, resplendent in black and gold. There was a stunning collection of classic and vintage off road racers under the trees, with most belonging to Gareth Ireland. This is one serious off-roader; I’m sure his veins must be full of mud and two stroke oil. The following Sunday (Mother’s Day) saw a motley collection of classics and cool moderns meeting at the clubhouse for the start of the Cool Run. I’d like to think that there were lots of mothers who were spoilt on this day as the turnout wasn’t as fantastic as we usually have. Nevertheless, we had a fantastic outing to the Roxy in Dronkwordspruit. However, the fuzz were also out and were targeting anything with two wheels and an engine. We had been warned by some fellow motorcyclists (bikers, if you must), and after a quick check we decided to push ahead as we all had licences and number plates; although Dave Carroll was a bit concerned, with him and the sixpotter sporting slightly outdated licenses. I reckon he must be quite the charmer as the cop casually checked him over and waved him through. Either that or, more likely, the cop was thick as pig excrement. Tony ‘Bad Boy’ White and Phil ‘Bootleg’ Moser weren’t so lucky, with Phil being let off on a warning for a copied (albeit correct) license disk and Tony being slapped with a ‘love letter’ for having an illegal number plate. And the fuzz claim to be there for our protection? Bastards! We are now less than a month away from the 1000 Bike Show. Please see elsewhere in the magazine for a detailed write-up on everything that is going down, how you can take part and what we have in store. It’s going to be epic. On a more sincere note, our heartfelt condolences go out to Gary Edwards and his family on the loss of his mother. Please know that we are all thinking of you and that you are all in our prayers. That’s all from me. I hope you enjoy this month’s magazine; and keep those articles coming. Till then, Keep it upright! T!M [6] Bike of the Month The Bike of the Month for May is Gareth Ireland’s incredibly tidy KTM 504 from the early 80’s. It was quite a challenge choosing a winner this month as Gareth brought most of his toys with; and they’re all stunning examples of off-road competition bikes. What was interesting about this bike, apart from its great looks, was its massive Rotax motor, which gives this machine its massive grunt. This is certainly a fine example of the breed and its impeccable condition belies its regular competition duties. [7] News BMW Concept Ninety - Roland Sands The internet has been set abuzz lately by a new BMW concept harking back to the immortal R90. Here’s the story by Ian Lee (courtesy of Bike Exif) When a bike manufacturer commissions a special edition bike to be built outside of their factory, they don’t just put their creation in the hands of any nuff nuff who can swing an angle grinder and crimp terminals together. As part of this new trend to work with outside customizers, Yamaha approached Wrenchmonkees, Triumph went to Icon, and now BMW has collaborated with Roland Sands to create a homage to the BMW R90S – the German marque’s bad ass bike of the 1970’s. Forty years after its launch, BMW & Roland Sands have remained the R90S in a modern vein, while still retaining such touches as the blended paint job, ducktail and bikini fairing the original bike was renowned for. The spirit of the original is retained, with some awesome new design ideas thrown into the mix, making it clear that BMW has chosen the right bike builder for the job. Visually, the bike is striking. The upper components are painted up in bright Daytona orange as a nod to the original bike. The lower end is splashed with black, R90S badging and other aluminium hand crafted highlights breaking up the dark visual effect. An LED headlamp, wrapped in a bikini fairing envelops a two gauge meter cluster, RSD clip-ons and levers. The custom tail end is a healthy mix of Moto2 & café racer ducktail, with the paintjob blended from the psychedelic orange of the Daytona paintjob through to a white stripe running up the centre, adorned with a BMW badge. Roland Sands has crafted a lot of the componentry in-house, but the [8] most standout aspects are RSD wheels wrapped in Dunlop rubber making up the rolling stock. With a café racer styled aesthetic, the Beemer features an almost wedge shaped outline when viewed from the right angle. It features tank cutouts to grip your knees against when testing the flat twin to its full capability, and according to BMW’s press release, ‘an attack stance like a sprinter about to explode into action’. The BMW R90s concepts first public outing is to be at the Villa d’este Concorso Eleganza, generally a car based event but this year with the R90S in attendance, more attention will be given to the motorcycle class. 40 years after the original R90S was released, this collaboration could be the start of something beautiful. A lot of people are asking if BMW could be using the concept as a gauge of public reception, to make a special run of bikes a la Paul Smart LE1000. With no technical specs released, if the bike was to go into production it would have to be able to live up to the name, reminding everyone of what bike it was that won the first AMA superbike championship, and an amazing homage to the bike that broke the mindset that BMW only made good touring bikes. [9] Upcoming Events 27TH CMC CONVENTION 2013 20 TO 24 SEPTEMBER 2013 Booking is now fully open for the above event. Our agenda remains the same as per the previous article in the Master Link. Final monetary figures are now at hand and reported as follows: Accommodation: Gala Evening Dinner: Golf Shirt: Cap: Badge: R250.00 per person per night R160.00 per person R195.00 each R50.00 each R45.00 each Due to a great response from our members, the following accommodation is still available: 7 Hotel Rooms sleeping 2 persons 1 Self-Catering Bungalow sleeping 2 persons 1 Self-Catering Bungalow sleeping 2 to 3 persons 1 Self-Catering Bungalow sleeping 4 persons 2 Self-Catering Bungalows sleeping 4 to 6 persons 1 Self-Catering Bungalow sleeping 4 to 8 persons 2 Log Cabins sleeping 4 persons (Must use Ablution Block) To avoid disappointment of no accommodation, please contact Rita on 083 774 6798, 011 764 3798 or e-mail: [email protected] to obtain a Booking Form for completion. [10] [11] Guess The Bike It’s hardly likely that you’ve ever seen one of these before, yet here it is. Sadly, this beautiful racing motorcycle never turned a wheel in anger. It was developed by an Italian GP racer who had great success in the 175cc class in the late fifties; and was intended to compete on the GP circuit in 1969. Propulsion was courtesy of an air-cooled, double crank, two stroke V4 engine. Unfortunately it was killed overnight by an FIM edict limiting 250cc bikes to two cylinders. Can you guess what it is? The answer is on the last page. [12] Feature The Passing Show at the Pavillion (With apologies to Joel Mervis’ Ghost…) The first chill of Winter bit hard – arctic air had moved in and it was wooly shirt extra poloneck jersey and thank God the bike’s got a fairing… breath steaming and exhaust vapour pouring as the bike warms up outside the gate. Breath condensing on visor – hey summer is really over, and if it’s like this now – how’s it going to be on Gert’s Botes’ Eggrun in July?? From the mouth of the organizer hisself – blerry cold !! Tells me Sunday at the Pavillion that he is organizing a block booking for the third weekend in July at the Welkom Rugby Club – rooms, Pub and Restaurant all adjacent – but the Punters better book early… And so it was. Eight ayem and the Pavillion filling up fast with shivering well wrapped bikers all arriving. Full leathers much in evidence (hard riders or just the cold?) and the chicks Garth surreptitiously trying to hotwire Duncan’s looking great in their kit… This despite the Retro Norton… concurrent Guinness record breaking attempt at Kyalami – Priscilla is sulking because she thought there would be free Guinness at the race track… Welcome was the excellent R35 hot coffee and brekkie dished up on the minute by that marvelous bunch of Volunteers who make it all happen. Unsung heroes. There is something about winter riding – hey it’s not your modern comfort zone instant gratification activity – but man does it make you feel great, glad to be alive and on a bike throwing it through the chill early morning air with a hot brekkie masses of Ghabba’s and a pumping bike scene awaiting at road’s end… Talking about well-wrapped bikers – one abominable (snowman?) Jan Smook’s vuilseun Sheldon manifested himself out the murk just newly up from CT where he had hit the mother-lode. Looking for hi tech engineering he came across this Itey owner of an immaculate factory. In the course of conversation it transpired the owner restored Classic bikes in his spare time. Snap! “So check my collection…” and he opens a warehouse door to reveal a line of pre-disc Guzzi’s, Laverda, and little Mach-one Duke. Sheldon tunes he is looking for a front alloy rim due to an unfortunate encounter of the impact kind – “no problem – check this storeroom lined with rows of rims – take your pick…” “Oh and you say it is a T3 Guzzi? – look here in this other storeroom is a complete T3 motor…” So next week Sheldon’s back to Slaapstad to consummate the deal for this new project where he is taking a classic seventies’ Guzzi T3, stripping and buggering around with it to make a replica of the modern V7 retro Café Racer. There’s logic in there somewhere… Then to top it all they gave him a delightful little Lab Puppy for Xmas which promptly lunched the saddle of his current bike. Not your average biker… Also singing the praises of his Spada Guzzi was founder member Mike White who after some disillusionment re-engineered the final drive but really made an improvement when he ran an earthing wire to all items and replaced a seriously time-expired rotor brush. The bike is now performing flawlessly and settles down to an even 130 click lope like it never wants to stop… [13] A pleasant reminisce in the sun on the days when the hot club meeting debate was that the nearby brand new Velo Thruxton and Bonnie Triumph were not old enough to be Classics… Brian and Rita doing brisk business at the container sign posted ‘Credit Control’ have opened bookings for the Sabie September Convention and reckon accommodation is going fast. Should be an incredible jol. The ever cheerful Roulstone fielding his Yammie XT Thumper a coupla weeks late for the SSOB was haggling the spares away… Another source of British Spares Mike Lang was cruising around doing business with the crowd. Collared by the irrepressible Bill Purvis who informs me it’s spelled with only one ‘s’ – sorry. Looking forward to having a toot with Bill and Mariette in September. Interest in the 1000 bike show is mounting and Bob Harpin has offered his Morini despite being off to UK for five weeks. Main attraction on the bowling green was a modern Norton Commando – the 961 Café Racer Retro brought in by airline pilot Duncan for something in excess of R200K, Priscilla. This was a real crowd-puller and we had Simon Fourie and Bike SA people with chairman Pierre and Couz Kev gathered around. Also the Chrome Chain gang including Willie Struckmeyer and Garth Harvey trying to work out how to loot R200k… An awesome piece of machinery. Seen photos, but in the metal a strong family resemblance to our old Commandos - just everything a bit bigger – like it was on steroids… Man we had a Hesketh previously – wot next won’t we see on the Green?? Met another anglophile Tony White of the Union Jack Bonneville and Buell and Norman McCabe mates for nearly 50 years and like the rest of us stuck in a sixties timewarp. Tony has moved into his garage and rented out his house. Only problem is his reprobate mates coming charging up to the house at three ayem banging on the door and scaring the crap out of his tenants! Geoff and Heather pitched on the Kawa 650, just back from four weeks in the Cape… A fragile Ed Tim Romans sed he was attacked by Champagne at a recent wedding. The Sixpotter rally at the Green Lantern in v Reenan’s was a major success despite the pouring rain - drawing forty enthusiasts and about a million Honda cylinders… Not so the Daffodil which would only have worked if you had a submarine – read on… The Drenched Daffodil Per Ed Tim the Daffodil was legendary for its deluge. Animals were starting to gather two by two and this old oke was building a wooden boat… Departed a day early on the Duke in brilliant sunshine to recce favoured Guinness-serving Pub Gumtreez in White River. Later somewhat blurred, head past a blazing forest fire (subsequently doused – guess how?) along the scenic winding R537 through Sabie and into the resort on Hazyview road. To be confronted by anxious Manager Nick Kazandjis “everyone’s cancelled at the last Sunny Arrival minute!” Seems they all saw ‘Drenching Rain’ forecast and whoosied out… So we canned the potjie and braai nights. I booked four nights and rode into Sabie to check out the Sasol Rally then fast and furiously in progress. And soe waar the next ayem the rain was pouring down. But midday the one oke who fears nothing – John Wakeling – pitched in full waterproofs on his vintage rebuilt Guzzi V7 … [14] So we spent the wet afternoon platting a hipflask of Johnny Reds and reminiscing about previous rides like the first Buffalos and going up to Kariba on Norton Commando’s in the early Seventies… Emboldened by plenny of toots we decide to go to Sabie for supper, but I cannot extricate my Duke out of the swamp in front of the Chalets. So it was a wobbly two up on the Guzzi to the Woodsman. I am the world’s worst pillion. There we met the only two other participants who had transshipped to the Woodsman – Capetonian IMOC V7 on top of Long Tom… member and owner of a pair of MV Augusta’s Rob McConnell and his JHB mate Hugo. A festive supper ensued where the Guinness flowed and much bull was spoken. Saturday pissed down but undaunted Wakeling donned waterproofs, departed, breakfasted, and returned a little later saying “Stuff this for a lark…” So we fried up an indoor steak and wors braai in the Chalets and the rain poured down. Sunday dawned brilliant sunshine and Wakeling departed. I planted the Duke in this Iris patch trying to get it out. Eventually have it carried out by the Wakeling Wet First Departure local labour, but Irises are soft so no damage… Took a run on the twennytwo, goofed around, explored forest trails, chatted to Nick and the people in reception, swam in the pool, and in the evening just for the hell of it braaied up a huge feast with all trimmings including a Nederburg Baronne… Went home Monday in blazing sunshine via the pleasant traffic-free Rosenhaugh, Sudwala, nGodwana route and into chilly Transvaal – a brilliant ride. Enjoyed myself but the Daffodil event was a washout! Back to the Pavillion… And it’s always the people you meet on the Green - last month it was graced by those dedicated long distance White River enthusiasts Gary and son Tyrone Edwards, on the Bimota and the Ducati 450 single featured in Howie’s W700 article… The terrible twins Barry Mee and Phil Moser are shortly off to Zimbabwe via all the dirt roads on their Beemer Boxers . Barry reckons any water with live tadpoles in it is fit to drink… IMOC’s Mr. Bean and repair wizard, Miguel de Melo Matias, pitched always cheerful and has swopped his ST Duke for a Boxer Cup Beemer. Recently was putting up a high spike palisade which fell crushing his leg. Dragged himself into hospital leaving a trail of gore across the casualty floor. “What can we do for you?” Nothing , apparently, until after a frantic search yielded his medical-aid card. Surgery then finally took him in and saved the leg. A close call with amputation. Ran into Kenny at the Bar – condolences on mate Ian Whitehead’s passing recently… IMOC Tech. Fundi Helmut Schafner pitched. Just bought Jimmy’s hot DOHC Four valve Guzzi Centauro and will be trying out Ice Blasting on the cases of the rare Imola just imported by Jimmy from salt strewn UK… And all the while Terry ‘Motormouth’ Hack was belting out the old rock and roll and insulting the assemblage over the PA system… [15] Colin Swartbrand just back from Bulgaria greeting in passing with an arm full of Beers and off again back to Bulgaria same evening. Must be something to do with the Pubs in Bulgaria…? And finally the intrepid submariner John Wakeling had made it back from the damp Daffodil and was at the Pavillion (on his Beemer!) and savouring the savoury pies with son Mark who works at DNA and girlfriend ‘Ghost’ … Never a dull moment! DISLODGED ROCKER Tyrone on the Ducati and Gary Edwards on the Bimota [16] Open the 1st Sunday of the month at 9am Golf Shirts in sizes Medium to 3XL in two different colours now available at the “Credit Control” counter @ R160.00 each. Also caps at R45.00 each. “Spares you need, from bikers you know” [17] Feature LOOKING BACK Firstly let’s get the 1000 Bike show out of the way. It’s the feeling of many of the older members of the CMC that club spirit and camaraderie and all that good stuff notwithstanding, in terms of the image of the CMC, our yearly show is arguably our most important event of the year. And it is certainly the most important event financially. Perhaps the biggest difficulty with an event that seems to have caught on in a very big way like the 1000 Bike is in maintaining or hopefully improving the standard year on year. As we speak the committee of the CMC is working towards getting this year’s show to operate much more smoothly and efficiently than previously, for the benefit of the exhibitors, (without whom there wouldn’t be a show) the paying customers (without whom there wouldn’t be a show) and the organizers (without whom there wouldn’t be a show). The hopeful outcome of this work is of course to stop the organisers of the show shouting “never again” after it’s all finished, and encouraging the exhibitors and spectators to look forward with pleasurable anticipation to early July 2014. A couple of examples:- We have designed what we hope will be a fairer and more even standard of concours judging.(Details in last month’s magazine) Exhibitors will receive a metal badge for each motorcycle exhibited. Spectators will be asked to judge the “best stand” award which we hope will let them feel more part of the action. Attention is being paid to the parking congestion at the West end of the site and to some, perhaps most importantly; I believe the beer tent is going to be bigger. For all this to happen in the best way possible, we need only two things from each member, your co-operation and your feedback. As the Chinaman said in the joke, “many hands make light work”. Let’s get the lights burning brightly at 1000 Bike Show 2013. STANDOUT BIKES The late Duncan Robertson and I used to, as a form of mental stimulation, deliberately involve ourselves in monumental arguments. The rules of the game were that one took up a standpoint in which one quite often did NOT believe and then try to prove ones point. The rules allowed personal insult, reasonably heavy verbal abuse and derogatory remarks concerning the others pedigree and family antecedents. The arguments had to be about motorcycles and actual swearwords were taken to be an indication that your argument was weakening and you were losing the plot. I can clearly remember one such “discussion” on the way home from a CMC meeting one Friday night. Clive Edwards (founder member, father of Gary Edwards) was a lovely bloke but sometimes tended to take life a little seriously, and this was early days and he had never seen us having one of our set-to’s before. Now, these arguments once concluded were completely forgotten, as I said, they were a form of exercise, so when Duncan got out of the car that evening all was forgotten. But so impressed was poor old Clive that he was around at Duncan’s house early on Saturday morning to see if he could make peace between Duncan and myself. For a moment Duncan didn’t know what he was talking about and quickly provided an explanation after which Clive was a much happier man. [18] One subject that could really get us going was the oft asked question “If you had to go through a list of all the motorbikes you have ever owned (and in Duncan’s case this was even in the seventies quite a mission) and could chose just one with which to spend the rest of your life, let’s call it your own personal Standout motorcycle, which would it be? It’s easy to see why for most of us this is an impossible question to answer. Our interests within the sport change constantly. Speaking for myself I have at various times over the last 50 or so years been involved in off road racing (solo and sidecar), foot up trials (classic and modern), road racing (a little modern and a lot of classic), Touring (with the CMC and on my own), and even on occasions commuting (definitely not one of my favourite motor biking activities). Of course one could probably assume that anyone dedicated to a lifetime pursuit of just one motorcycling discipline would have less of a decision to make. Still, after a good days riding and we have that contented feeling of a day well spent, and we’re all sitting around chatting and imbibing the liquid of our choice this can be a wonderful subject to introduce to get a discussion going. For the sake of sanity it would probably be a good idea to put some limits on the discussion. Such as, at this very moment what is your Standout bike? Or you could divide it into time periods like what is your Standout classic or Standout road racer etc etc? If that seems too difficult then one can ask people that if they were to put together a list of their 10 Standout motorbikes from all ages and disciplines of what would the list comprise? Also remember that one of the rules for this argument is that you don’t have to have ridden it for a bike to be one of your Standout motorcycles. Even at my age I have my dreams (no Desdemona, try to pick up the message, I haven’t got a collection of Honda’s). For example one of my all-time Standout motorcycles is the factory DKW 3 cylinder 350cc two stroke road-racer of the mid 50’s. Even at their peak there were probably no more than 5 or 6 running examples and there are according to what I read only 2 known examples left. One comparatively early one in a museum and one reputed to be in a private collection in Europe somewhere. However I still have this impossible dream of finding one, in restorable condition under a pile of old farming machinery in De Aar or Noupoort or somewhere similar. What’s your list of best 10 Standout motorcycles? Come on Guys. Compile your lists and send them off to the Editor. Let’s create a situation where he asks us to stop sending contributions to the Magazine! MIKE WHITE [19] [20] Special Report 1000 Bike Show 2013 th th 6 & 7 July So as you all know (or should know): the annual 1000 Bike Show is just around the corner and preparations are in full swing. The venue is booked, the tent is organised, the trade stalls are filling up fast, the logistics have been sorted and the slices are on ice. We had to resist the urge to make the tent bigger this year, but we are pleased to announce that the fruit shop will be growing in size to accommodate all those thirsty punters. However, most important of all are the beautiful, gleaming machines that fill the enormous display tent; and this is where we need your help. If you haven’t already committed yourself, we are appealing to all our members to put their classics on show and lend a hand wherever you can. This year, as a special thank-you to everyone that displays a bike, each bike will be presented with a special ‘Exhibitor’s Medal’ that you can keep and show off to all your impressed mates. For those of you that would like to enter your gleaming machine into the Concours de Etat at the show, you can find an entry form, as well as a copy of the judging form, right here in the magazine. Entries will be open from 15:00 on the Friday before the show and will close on the Saturday at 13:00 and can be made at the VIP table in the middle of the tent. Presentation of the awards will take place, as per usual, on the Sunday afternoon. Entries for the best marque can be done with the stand coordinators on the Saturday. Please contact your relevant stand coordinator regarding entries and displaying of your pride and joy. Due to the unique way that we do things at the CMC, I have included a guideline for all the stand coordinators, based on last year’s list. Please give the guys a shout; I’m sure they’d love to put your machine on display. Setup will take place on the Friday. All exhibitors and trade stall people are kindly asked to use the back gate when bringing bikes and equipment. This is to make things easier at the main gate and to avoid confusion. Please be advised that if you enter the show on the Saturday and Sunday through the main gate you will be asked to pay. Mandy and Co will be manning the gate, so don’t even try to negotiate. CMC members that do pay and wish to be refunded can redeem their entry fee from the Credit Control Desk at the following Club Sunday. Please present your ticket stub with your membership card to Rita and you will be refunded. There will also be a designated trailer parking area. If you bring a trailer over the weekend, please make use of this facility. This is to try avoid the chaos that usually ensues behind the tent. Malcolm Tutt will be overseeing this, so if you have any queries or are not sure where to go, please have a chat with him on the day. He’s a very helpful chap. We look forward to seeing you all at the show. Thanks to your help and participation, I’m sure we can make this one the biggest and best yet. Please refer to the poster or the CMC website for more info, or contact any of the Committee members. See you there. [21] 1000 Bike Show Stand Coordinators Harley Davidson Theo v Rensburg 082 447 9146 [email protected] Ariel Allan Horwell Brian Hunter 082 872 1735 082 372 0649 [email protected] [email protected] Truimph Peter Moody 083 273 5487 [email protected] BMW Other Germans Derek Marsden Bob Hooper 082 307 4496 083 381 0695 [email protected] [email protected] AMC Willem Beaurain Colin Blackburn 083 271 1964 073 145 5863 [email protected] BSA Derek Lockwood Mitch McAlister Freddie Viljoe 083 408 7525 083 456 9119 082 336 5590 [email protected] [email protected] [email protected] Royal Enfield Blaize Rawlins 082 568 1457 [email protected] Norton Des Burton Garth Harvey Richard Salt 083 229 8050 082 575 2848 0761964296 [email protected] [email protected] Velocette Kevin Robertson Alan Harris 083 321 3234 073 107 8984 [email protected] DJ Gavin Walton Kevin Walton 083 4084296 082 805 2337 [email protected] [email protected] Racing Gary Hunter 083 720 8688 [email protected] HMG Mike Cox Italian Lofty Pretorius Bob Harpin 083 635 1451 083 230 4714 Kawasaki Mark Lewis 073 078 3856. [email protected] Honda Tony Woods Tim Romans 073 198 4396 082 629 2961 Yamaha Gordon Clack 082 571 5877 Suzuki Rusty Thorns 082 411 1687 [email protected] Jawa Greg vd Merwe 082 458 2291 [email protected] Offroad Hamish Ireland Dave Haynes 082 772 0141 082 895 5259 Hamish Ireland ([email protected]) [email protected] Vespa/Lambretta Gerard Habib 082 925 2534 [email protected] 082 457 0248 [22] [email protected] [email protected] [email protected] [email protected] The Classic Motorcycle Club 1000 Bike Show Concours entry form Class entered Vintage & Vereran < 1931 Mark box with an X Classic 1931 1960 Post Classic 1961-1970 Off Road < 1985 Racing <1985 New Era 1971 - 1988 Motorcycle Make/ model/year Registration No / Engine No Owners name Contact Number Judging will start from 15h00 on Friday until 13h00 Saturday Entries close at 13h00 on Saturday - No late entries will be accepted Results will be published at 14h00 on Sunday Prize giving at 14h00 on Sunday Judges decision will be final. [23] CMC 1000 Bike Show CONCOURS Bike CLASS ENTERED: Year Vintage & Vereran Classic <1931 1932-1960 Off Road < 1985 Post Classic 1961 1970 New Era 19711988 Racing < 1985 REG NO / Number 100 Overall impression Overall Cleanliness Bikes Presentation Engineering Detailing Stand, history, restoration photos, etc Racing and off road only (Tidiness of wiring, cables, Decals, Transfers, controls, instrumentation, etc.) Paintwork Frame Tinware Motor/ Gearbox Wheels & Tyres Exhaust and silencers Replica or Origional Authentisity / Originality General appearance & authentisity / Originality Correct size and finish, Era specific origional looking tyres Correct appearance and finish Replica marked out of 50 Origional marked out of 100 Total Comments [24] Feature WET WET WET In March of this year I successfully climbed Kilimanjaro. On the back of that triumph, I embarked without fear, to conquer the Pre 65 Scottish 2 day trial. I was feeling invincible. What could possibly make me say “This is just too tough”. toug The bike I was to ride was the 250cc Greeves Scottish which belonged to the late Duncan Robertson. I had told him that one day I would take his bike back to his birth place, and I was able to ship the bike back to the UK a few years ago, when a good friend friend emigrated back to Blighty. It needed some “Scottish Proof” work however, so I replaced the historically unreliable Villiers points system with an electronic ignition system and fitted an engine bash plate for rocks, rocks and yet more rocks. The event was limited to 180 riders, but because I knew people, who knew people, I got accepted. With the bike loaded in the Transit Van, Fort William loaded into the GPS and the prospect of an eleven hour road trip ahead of me, I put “voet in die hoek”. The T bad news saga started in Preston and continued up into Glasgow. It was Wednesday and the motorway authorities were warning motorists via the electronic signage that “very heavy rain” was to be expected on Friday. I had never seen this before and it was easy to dismiss when there was not a cloud in the sky. It was a glorious spring day. Thursday came, and in a day of equal splendour, we took the opportunity to recky some of the Friday route sections. They were typical rocky sections with a “wee burn” running run down it. Nothing too stressful I thought. There was a bit of water and the rocks were of a size and magnitude that my newly fitted bash plate could handle. Add to that a bit of bodily energy and strength that a hearty helping of Scotch porridge could supply and I was fit for a win!!! Ok so I have to beat a few ex--British British champions as well. Oh yes, and a few European ones as well, but I was not perturbed. Did the Almighty open the rain tap, or what!! It rained all night and if that was not enough, it continued ontinued to rain and rain and rain. Oh yes, and snow up on the mountains, where we were scheduled to go. It was cold!! Oh boy was it cold!!! Fortunately I had brought with me a thermal suit I had used on my Kilimanjaro trip, so I felt I had that adversity covered. The traditional playing of the bagpipes pipes at the start sounded more like a band of throat garglers, but give them credit, they turned up. I attired myself with every bit of waterproof clothing I had, and in addition, I banded duct tape over every remaining emaining orifice (except that one). The first section was Pipeline. The most famous trials section in the world, So far, so good. Section 2, 3, 4 & 5 also weren’t a real problem. Then came the first of the sections we had viewed on the previous day. To say say that it had become a raging torrent was no overover [25] exaggeration. You could have staged a world white water rafting challenge on it. This was not trials. Riders were grabbing a hand full of throttle and hoping for the best. It was chaos and the rain continued. The duct taping of all orifices was all well and good for a while, until the torrential rain made its way down my neck into my boots. I was gradually filling up with water!! I was being punished for laughing at those bag pipe players. Riding on the road between sections was no better. The rain was coming at you horizontally and you had no idea where any white lines were. We managed to make it back to Parc Ferme for re-fuelling, where we were told the rest of the days riding had been cancelled. Later that evening we were told that Saturday’s riding had also been cancelled. Riders were not happy. With the organisers knowing days in advance that bad weather was imminent, why did they not have a back-up plan? Why did they not find some non-river sections as an alternative? Accusations of stubbornness and bloody minded Scottish rigidity were rife. The results and winner were determined on what we had battled on the Friday morning, which was somewhat bitter-sweet. For the first time in nearly a hundred years, we were beaten by the weather, and I had to choose this year. In the words of William Shakespeare, Shit Happens! Below are a couple of photos but for those computer literate readers, type in “Pre 65 Scottish 2013” when in “YouTube” and have a look at some of the video footage. Yours truly at the start (slightly wet) Tim Britton, editor of Classic Dirt Bike (very wet) Bruce Watts [26] Past Event The First South African CBX Get Together 19-21 April 2013 By Tim Romans Man, isn’t technology a wonderful thing? For ages Honda CBX enthusiasts have been huddling together whenever they come across two or three examples of Irimajiri’s Folly, and muttering about having a big get together of sorts where hundreds of cylinders and thousands of valves would congregate together in the same area; and where their owners could have a decent chinwag in the company of other fans of Japanese engineering excess. Yet somehow it never ever happened. Enter the miracle (or bane if you will) that is Facebook. Join up, share a few photos of yourself and your hobbies, start a group page for like-minded individuals who share your interests and boom, you pretty soon have a little digital tribe of followers that can communicate with the touch of a button. One such page is the ‘CBX Owners Club of South Africa’, allied with the international ‘CBX1000 Owners Club’. One determined member, Dan Booysen, decided that he would put his mutterings into action and through determination, started offering jackets, caps and other such paraphernalia emblazoned with the CBX legend. Such was the interest that he took it a step further and took it upon himself to organise a mass gathering for the group’s members. With the assistance of Alan Green and Tony Donaldson (representing the Natal region), the first ever ‘CBX Run’ was organised. Thanks to various members’ inputs, the venue eventually chosen was The Green Lantern Inn in Van Reenen. Such was the interest that the entire hotel was booked out, which resulted in some very good prices for everyone going. Excitement grew as the date drew closer, with guys posting pictures and much banter about getting ready for the run. It was going to be epic. And then the rain came down... We were greeted on Friday morning by miserable weather and threats of torrential down pours. There was only one thing for it: stop off at the nearest bike shop on the way to the starting point to buy a rain suit. The Jo’burg guys met at the Carnival Mall Engen at around 10-ish and eventually departed somewhere round 11:00. Yours truly could only get off work at 12:00, so I shot home (making a quick stop at G. Fox and Co to buy a [27] rain suit), loaded up and departed at 13:00. There’s nothing worse than wheeling a sparkling, shiny bike that’s been polished twice out the garage and into rain. However, because I’m so tight and I’d already paid for my accommodation, there was nothing for it but to hit the road. The ride out of Edenvale was actually quite lekker, with the weather holding back for most of the way down to Villiers. A quick fill up and back on the road; and then the heavens opened up. It stayed like that all the way down to Van Reenen and my new rain suit was thoroughly put through its paces. Almost missed a fuel stop in Warden as I blitzed by it with nary a sign (or a garage) in sight; which could have led to disaster as the big six is very, very thirsty. I then nailed it all the way down, shooting straight through Harrismith and finally arriving, drenched, at the Green Lantern Inn. I was greeted by Bill, the proprietor of the Green Lantern, who gestured me inside to a blazing fire where I could get all my kit off (calm down ladies). While I was drying off in front of the fire, rotisserie style, I was greeted by the rest of the mense from Gangster’s Paradise: Eddie Hellyar, Andre Cilliers, Alan and Barbara Green, Mark Chandler and Jade ‘Black Widow’ Lourenco. I was also introduced to all the other CBX nutters, including Dan (Booysen) and his Mrs, Kevin Taylor and Natal boys; Tony (Donaldson), Brian Hudson, Craig Buck, Chris Magri (CBX specialist of note), Clyde and Sandy Lawrence and a span of other cool cats, all there to talk CBX. Incidentally, Eddie and Brian were the first two people in SA to own CBXs, with Eddie’s bike being showered in Champagne and first out onto the road. After a lekker dinner laid on by the hotel, we all found our way to the pub where the weekend’s proceedings were discussed, after which we were treated to the amazing singing talents of Sandy, who together with her husband Clyde, are part of a band called Fugly. Much merriment was had by all and we eventually called it quits after 01:00 in the morning. And the rain came down… Saturday morning dawned with a surprise: more rain. Oh well, off to breakfast with all the other six addicts. With the fires blazing we kuiered for a while in the hotel lounge; the plan being to hopefully wait out the rain and then make our way through Golden Gate and on to Clarens for lunch. With no let up in sight we all eventually piled into, ahem, the Durban guy’s cars and made our way to Clarens. Man, Murphy is a swine. Just past Harrismith and the weather dried up, although it was still pretty miserable. One thing’s for sure: Golden Gate looked absolutely stunning, with hundreds of little waterfalls all over the place and all the rock overhangs really bursting with colour. We’ll definitely need to make another trip through when the sun is out. We stopped in Clarens and were treated to a fantastic lunch at the Artist’s Café, just to the one side of the town square. Post nosh, we meandered around town a bit, taking in all the sights and sounds. Luckily it was a bike event and I didn’t have any money with me because the car would have been full of Surrealist paintings on the trip back to the hotel. There are some very talented artists living in the area. [28] After lunch, some of us went to the Trans-Caledon North Delivery Tunnel, where millions of litres of water reach the surface after having travelled hundreds of kilometres from the Katse Dam. On the way back Clyde, Sandy, Andre and myself stopped back in Clarens for a drink with one of Clyde’s old mates, while the rest of the gang headed back to the hotel. With the weather having cleared up quite nicely everyone was itching to take the irons for a spin, which resulted in an impromptu drag meet in front of the hotel. Bloody bikers! Naturally I did the same thing when we got back. The hotel put on a braai spread fit for a king and everyone ate themselves dik. Standard procedure was then followed and everyone made their way to the bar where Sandy was belting out the tunes. Although only for a short while as she had arranged a karaoke event of epic proportions. It started out slowly in the usual manner, but once Eddie, Mark and Jade had got hold of the mic it went crazy. Clearly the Durban boys couldn’t handle the pace as most of them were in bed by 10 o’clock. Not the Jo’burg boys; 01:30 in the morning and we were still going strong. I felt sorry for the bar staff, who never complained once and kept the liquid flowing. Prost! And the sun came out! Sunday dawned slightly overcast but looked very promising, with rays of sunshine beaming through here and there. After another fantastic breakfast, the sixpotters were all wiped down and wheeled out into the street in front of the hotel. Man! What a magnificent sight, seeing all those exhaust headers in a row. There were enough cylinders to make up the entire starting grid of the 1958 Manx TT (probably). Naturally, the bikes needed to be dried out. As a result the town of Van Reenen was a very noisy place that Sunday morning. With professional photographer Albert Kruger (www.albertsphotography.yolasite.com) behind the lens, a massive group shot was organised, followed by some posed riding shots, which turned out to be quite fun. It’s amazing how photogenic some people can be. [29] With the sun starting to make an appearance, we all said our goodbyes, loaded up and departed homeward bound. The East Rand made a quick turn by the famous ‘little church’. The service was just finishing off when we arrived, and what a surprise to see several familiar faces whom we had met the night before in the pub (the karaoke night remember). We paid our respects and headed out onto the open road. No sooner had we left than Eddie’s bike’s past sins came back to haunt it. The old tank lining that had been done ten years prior had started to come off blocked the carbs, which prevented the bike from revving over 4000 rpm. Fortunately Alan had asked his mechanic to bring a bakkie and trailer down that morning, so the iron was loaded up next to Jock Morgan’s water soaked six and so the circus moved on. The rest of the journey home was fairly uneventful with the sixes singing in harmony all the way home. There’s nothing like hearing a chorus of CBXs singing the same tune. And so the first CBX gathering came to an end. What had started out as an idea became a reality; and although it was dampened (pardon the pun) quite suddenly with the miserable weather, it turned out to be a cracker of a weekend. And even though the six almost bankrupted me with its ferocious thirst, it was still a damn sight cheaper than therapy; and much more rewarding. Keep it upright. [30] Marketplace For Sale BMW spares 2 of R50/R60 petrol tanks 2 of swinging arms for the same bikes 250 cc BMW gear box and diff Air filter housing R50/R60 diff R500 each R100 each R700 for both R100 R500 1952 Ariel 500cc VH rigid frame machine. Bike partially restored. Good project to complete. Plus a 350cc engine, 600cc side valve engine, more 600cc side valve engine parts and a load of various Ariel spares too numerous to list. R10,000 for the lot. Contact Graham on 083 468 1753. Suzuki DR500 frame and wheels (Offers?) Velo Solex for restoration R1500 Pieter Snyman 076 801 5581 1993 Yamaha V-Max. Black, low mileage, very good condition. Non V-Boost model. Fitted with belly pan and Over carbon fibre exhausts. Fully licensed. R38,000 1974 Yamahs XS650-1B. Black, very good condition. Comes with lots of spares, including frame, sub assembly, head, bodywork etc. Fully licensed. R28,000 Contact Tim ([email protected]) or Isak (084 703 9419) Wanted Wanted for pre war BSA 500 OHV Push Rods Chain Guard 7 inch Headlight BSA Clutch Lever Battery Box Complete Clutch Cush Drive Contact Pierre 072 513 9432 [31] Honda C110 Petrol tank and any other spares. Please contact Gary on 083 226 8456 Stolen My MV Augusta F4 one thousand cc, Registration number CA 94546, Frame number (VIN Number) ZCGF511BB5V002322, Engine Number F5A402266, was STOLEN under the Old Oak bridge on the N1 going in the direction of Paarl on 13 April 2013 between the hours of 21h40 and 11h45. I experienced a mechanical breakdown and had to fetch a bike trailer to take the motorcycle home. This is an exceptionally scarce motor cycle and believed to be the only one in South Africa with the silver and blue combination (please see photographs attached).SAPS Case number CAS 551/4/2013 has been opened and details of the vehicle have already been circulated to all police stations countrywide. You can phone me on 083 973 1017 or 021 914 5477 (Office) or Home 021 554 2781 PLEASE contact SAPS at 021 918 3000 and use CAS 551/4/2013 as the reference. To the general public, if anyone saw someone loading this bike onto a vehicle or trailer on 13 April 2013 between the hours of 21h40 and 23h45, and can remember any details, please feel free to contact me or SAPS. If anyone is aware of the whereabouts of the motorcycle, or can provide any information that can lead to its recovery, It will be appreciated, if not too much trouble, to circulate to your members as well. I also attach various photographs of the bike. If anyone has seen the bike or know of its whereabouts, please feel free to contact me or the Police. Regards Riaan Spence Services Reg Assist. Need help with getting your machine on the road? John Muller is able to help. Services offered include: • • • Trailer introductions, Licensing & Registrations Change of Ownership Advice on Natis & Roadworthy Problems Contact John on 083 239 2293 Charity Gwyneth Cronje is looking for donations of wool for use in a charity project. If you are able to donate to the cause please bring wool donations to the club either on Club Sundays or Wednesday night club meetings for collection. Your assistance would be greatly appreciated. For more information contact Gwyneth on 011 849 3008 [32] Library The CMC library now holds a copy of most of the CMC magazines from the inception of the club but a couple of editions are missing. Can anybody assist in completing the full set? The magazines missing are: • Number 1 to number 7 which was from May 1970 to November 1970. • January 1981, January 1990 (although these might have been incorporated in the December editions but were not stated as such) and August 2007. I do not have the following, recent copies (in hard copy): 2010 May, July, August, September and December plus January to July 2011. If anybody has any motorcycle related books or magazines that they would be prepared to donate to the CMC library please contact the librarian or one of the committee members. Thanks Bob Harpin G.J. Electroplating We specialize in the restoration and chrome plating of vintage & classic motorcycle and car parts using the triple chrome plating process that generates concourse quality results. Other processes include: polishing, copper, brass, nickel, cadmium and zinc. P.O. Box 16055 Atlasville 1465 Unit 16 & 17 Middle Park cnr Craig & Dormehl Roads, Anderbolt, Boksburg Tel: 087 941 0637/8 or 011 894 4525 Fax: 086 622 6342 Greg Cell: 082 680 0740 E-mail: [email protected] [33] Humour Fancy dress party A couple was invited to a swanky masked Halloween Party. She got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He, being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed, and there was no need of his good time being spoiled by not going. So he took his costume and away he went. The wife, after sleeping soundly for one hour, awakened without pain, and as it was still early, she decided to go to the party. In as much as her husband did not know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she was not with him. She joined the party and soon spotted her husband cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice chick he could, and copping a little feel here and a little kiss there. His wife sidled up to him and being a rather seductive babe herself, he left his partner high and dry and devoted his time to the new stuff that had just arrived. She let him go as far as he wished; naturally, since he was her husband. Finally he whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed, so off they went to one of the cars and had a little bang. Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away and went home and put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation he would make for his behaviour. She was sitting up reading when he came in and asked what kind of a time he had. He said, "Oh, the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when you're not there." Then she asked, "Did you dance much?" He replied, "I'll tell you, I never even danced one dance. When I got there, I met Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys, so we went into the den and played poker all evening. But I'll tell you... the guy I loaned my costume to says he had a real good time!" From Phil Moser Hired help The banker saw his old friend Tom, an eighty-year old rancher, in town. Tom had lost his wife a year or so before and rumour had it that he was marrying a 'mail order' bride. Being a good friend, the banker asked Tom if the rumour was true. Tom assured him that it was. The banker then asked Tom the age of his new bride to be. Tom proudly said, “She'll be twenty-one in November.” Now the banker, being the wise man that he was, could see that the sexual appetite of a young woman could not be satisfied by an eighty-year-old man. Wanting his old friend's remaining years to be happy the banker tactfully suggested that Tom should consider getting a hired hand to help him out on the ranch, knowing nature would take its own course. Tom thought this was a good idea and said he would look for one that afternoon. [34] About four months later, the banker ran into Tom in town again. “How's the new wife?” asked the banker. Tom proudly said, “Good ... and she's pregnant.” The banker, happy that his sage advice had worked out, continued, “And how's the hired hand?” Without hesitating, Tom said, “She's pregnant too.” From Tony Woods Before and After Marriage From Blaize Rawlins [35] Little Johnny A grade three teacher is giving a lesson on nutrition, and she decides to ask her students what they had for breakfast. To add a spelling component, she asks the students to also spell their answers. Susan puts up her hand and says she had an egg, “E-G-G”. “Very good”, says the teacher. Peter says he had toast “T-O-A-S-T”. “Excellent.” Johnny has his hand up and the teacher reluctantly calls on him. “I had bugger all”, he says, “B-U-G-G-E-R-A-L-L”. The teacher is mortified and scolds Johnny for his rude answer. Later when the lesson turns to geography, she asks the students some rudimentary questions. Susan correctly identifies the Capital of Canada. Peter is able to tell her which ocean is off Canada's east coast. When it's Johnny's turn, the teacher remembers his rude answer from the nutrition lesson, and decides to give him a very difficult question. “Johnny”, she asks, “Where is the Pakistani border?” Johnny ponders the question and finally says, “The Pakistani boarder is in bed with my mother.” “That's why I got bugger all for breakfast”. From Dave Carroll Scottish Wedding At the Scottish wedding reception the D.J. yelled... "Would all married men please stand next to the one person who has made your life worth living." The bartender was almost crushed to death. New Security Tactics I've cancelled my armed response, tore out my alarm system and de-registered from my neighbourhood watch. I've got 4 Vierkleur flags raised in my grounds, one at each corner and the AWB flag in the centre of the garden, a Blue Bulls flag draped in the window, ‘God loves the AWB’ stickers on my cars and my sound system alternately plays ‘Die Stem’ and ‘De La Rey’ at full volume! The Local Police, Department of Home affairs and Hawks are all watching my house 24/7. I'VE NEVER FELT SAFER! From Tony Woods [36] HEY OLDER CROWD A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office. "Is it true," she wanted to know, that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?" "'Yes, I'm afraid so,"' the doctor told her. There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied, "I'm wondering, then, just how serious is my condition because this prescription is marked ‘NO REPEATS.’ ----An older gentleman was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation. As he was about to get the anaesthesia, he asked to speak to his son. "Yes, Dad, what is it?" "Don't be nervous, son; do your best, and just remember, if it doesn't go well, if something happens to me, your mother is going to come and live with you and your wife...." ----[37] Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it. This is so true. I love to hear them say "you don't look that old." ----The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for. ----Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me! I want people to know why I look this way. I've travelled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved. ----When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra. ----You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks. ----One of the many things no one tells you about ageing is that it is such a nice change from being young. ----Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable. ----First you forget names, then you forget faces. Then you forget to pull up your zipper... It's worse when you forget to pull it down. ----Two guys, one old, one young, are pushing their carts around K-Mart when they collide. The old guy says to the young guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going." The young guy says, "That's OK, it's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too... I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate." The old guy says, "Well, maybe I can help you find her... what does she look like?" The young guy says, "Well, she is 27 yrs. old, tall, with red hair, blue eyes, is buxom..., long legs, and is wearing a mini skirt. What does your wife look like?' To which the old guy says, "Doesn't matter,--- let's look for yours." From Tony Woods Blonde in Church An Alabama pastor said to his congregation, "Someone in this congregation has spread a rumour that I belong to the Ku Klux Klan. This is a horrible lie and one which a Christian community cannot tolerate. I am embarrassed and do not intend to accept this. Now, I want the party who said this to stand and ask forgiveness from God and this Christian family." The preacher continued, "Do you have the nerve to face me and admit this is a falsehood? Remember, you will be forgiven and in your heart you will feel glory. Now stand and confess your transgression." No one moved. Again, all was quiet. [38] Then, slowly, a drop-dead gorgeous blonde with a body that would stop a runaway train rose from the third pew. Her head was bowed and her voice quivered as she spoke, "Reverend there has been a terrible misunderstanding. I never said you were a member of the Ku Klux Klan. I simply told a couple of my friends that you were a wizard under the sheets." The preacher fell to his knees, his wife fainted, and the congregation roared. Life is Short, Smile While You still have Teeth. Give me an Amen, Brother!!! Curtain Rods On the first day, she sadly packed her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases. On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things. On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining-room table, by candle-light; she put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of spring-water. When she'd finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimps dipped in caviar into the hollow centre of the curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left. On the fourth day, the husband came back with his new girlfriend, and at first all was bliss. Then, slowly, the house began to smell. They tried everything; cleaning, mopping, and airing-out the place. Vents were checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned. Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which time the two had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting. Nothing worked! People stopped coming over to visit. Repairmen refused to work in the house. The maid quit. Finally, they couldn't take the stench any longer, and decided they had to move, but a month later - even though they'd cut their price in half - they couldn't find a buyer for such a stinky house. Word got out, and eventually even the local realtors refused to return their calls. [39] Finally, unable to wait any longer for a purchaser, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place. Then the ex-wife called the man and asked how things were going. He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely and said that she missed her old home terribly and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for having the house. Knowing she could have no idea how bad the smell really was, he agreed on a price that was only 10% of what the house had been worth ... but only if she would sign the papers that very day. She agreed, and within two hours his lawyers delivered the completed paperwork. A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home...... ......and to spite the ex-wife they even took the curtain rods! I LOVE A HAPPY ENDING, DON'T YOU? From Phil Moser [40] Faces You’d swear these guys are famous or something… I’m sorry, I had to. When I saw this pic I couldn’t resist putting it in. I mean, when last did you see a pink, sequinned bike with springer forks and a lawnmower engine? Can you guess who this person is? Answer on the last page. [41] CMC Committee 2013 Chairman Pierre Cronje Tel: 011 849 3008 Fax: 011 425 1284 [email protected] http://www.classicmotorcycleclub.co.za 072-513-9432 Vice Chairman Hamish Ireland H: 011 827 1670 Fax: 011 827 1670 [email protected] 082-772-0141 Secretary Bob Hooper W: 011 452 4737 Fax: 011 452 4738 H: 011 452 6070 [email protected] 083-381-0695 Treasurer Rita Grové H: 011 764 3798 Fax: 086 672 8941 [email protected] [email protected] 083-774-6798 Banking Details: Account Name: Classic Motorcycle Club Standard Bank – Benoni Bank Code No: 013042 Account No: 420 188 738 Charity Organizers: Marlene Hooper 082-925-1447 H: 011 452 6070 [email protected] Bob Hooper 083-381-0695 W: 011 452 4737 Fax: 011 452 4738 H: 011 452 6070 [email protected] Japanese/Honda Spares: Alan Green (Honda Shop) [email protected] Dave Carroll Spares: Brian Roulstone W: 011 828 0716 [email protected] Brian Neethling Fax: 011 768 6829 Bob Linell [email protected] [42] 073-804-2970 083-461-3303 082-950-3766 082-546-7155 082-756-7776 Event Organisers Racing Section Timothy Romans W: 011 661 1517 Alan Bayley [email protected] Graham Kendall [email protected] Gary Hunter H: 011 475 2179 [email protected] 082-629-2961 078-137-5609 083-468-1753 083-720-8688 W: 011 882 8030 Trials Organiser Bruce Watts H: 011 450 3089 W: 011 409 1300 [email protected] 082 443 8800 Off-Road Rides Trials Dave Haines W: 011 803 1159 H: 011 465 1306 Fax: 011 803 0970 [email protected] 082-895-5259 SAVVA Reps Freddie Viljoen 082-336-5590 Liaison Officers Terry Hack – Members [email protected] 082-697-6058 Webmaster JAWS [email protected] 083 459-7802 Museum Custodian Brian Neethling Fax: 011 768 6829 Barry Allan 082 546 7155 Trophy Officer Rusty Thorns [email protected] 082 411 1687 Editor Timothy Romans W: 011 661 1517 [email protected] 082-629-2961 082-494-9678 [43] Riding Shotgun New custom leather saddles made to order. order. Contact Al Gator for snappy service. Answer for Guess the Bike: 1969 Villa 250 GP Racer Answer for Faces: Paris Hilton [44]
