ChampionsGate

BGA Championship -­‐ August 8th and 9th, 2014 ChampionsGate – Na=onal and Interna=onal Courses Everybody knows Jordan, Pippen and Kukoc. Or Maddux, Glavine and Smoltz. Or even Aikman, Smith and Irvin. If it had been just two of them you wouldn’t even know their names. Like the many power trios before them, the Hme of Pena, Hohnson and Czar must also come to an end. This weekend is that end. They redefined how to run a semi-­‐professional golf organizaHon. They created. They expanded. They innovated. They inebriated. They ballwashed. They downright dominated. Whether or not you always agreed with The Brass, you have to admit they made all the right moves to make this into the self-­‐sustaining monster it has become. You don’t ever want to be the guy that follows THE GUY (unless your name’s Jimbo), but good luck to the New Brass. I’m sure they’ll do fine. As we embark on our last BGA Championship under the founding regime, we invite you to show your appreciaHon for the founding fathers. Buy ‘em a drink. Carry their bag. Wash their balls. I’m sure you’ll think of something. Well, I guess there is a small tournament involved this weekend too. Yep, it’s that Hme of year again. The Hme where the BGA descends on the luxurious Omni Resort in steamy Orlando FL. The lazy river has been host to many BGA floaHllas and for the first Hme last year a BGA blockade. The Friday night parHes have been known to keep Villa security busy. The 16th green on the InternaHonal Course has proven to be a great place for a quick nap. It’s the year’s last major. We have come to expect big things. This year we have the biggest field in the history of the BGA…by a lot. As it does every year, the weekend will start with a casual Friday a_ernoon round in the balmy Florida sun. We will all gather at the range for the meet-­‐and-­‐greet with the 23 newbs playing in their first event (“Hi. I’m Adam, uh Gyse, uh Lonnie, uh Donnie, uh Ass Commish, uh just give me $42. Thanks.) We’ve got Ian driving cross-­‐country from Seafle to play in his first BGA event. Davidson is making the trek from Philly for one more shot at BGA glory. Of course Davey Tats is making his annual appearance at the Omni. With a field this size, Friday will see the BGA’s first ever shotgun start. And no Satz, I don’t mean shotgun a beer, although that would be Legendary if everybody shotgunned a beer on their first tee box. Maybe THE Commish can make that his last edict. Post-­‐round we will gather in the clubhouse and dish out day one winnings and then disperse temporarily only to reconvene at the Villa of AssMo and his 3 Newbs for the Friday night shenanigans. Remember, the tee Hmes Saturday morning start around 8:30 and groups go off in reverse order of finish from Round 1. So NASCAR, make sure you get at least one point or you are going off early. If you survive the Friday night party, Saturday morning’s round will definitely come too early, but don’t be a d-­‐bag. Get to the tee! Grind it out. You may walk away with some money, or even befer, a Lamp. The InternaHonal Course on day two will offer ample opportuniHes to score points and make up some ground. But even befer, focus on the endgame. That lazy river awaits. Play quick. Play with a purpose. Get to the pool. I can only imagine what this gaggle of BGA’ers will be like in the pool/river this year. Flynn will have his badge ready in case we have any issues with security again this year. Finally the weekend culminates with the Gala in the Grand Ballroom. That’s right, this year we are in the hotel. We’ve made it. Bring your hankies folks. The tears are going to be flowing like wine as we pay tribute to all that this Brass has done and they pass the torch to the Newb Rass. I can’t wait to sefle In and listen to THE Commish’s keynote speech. It’s our last chance to bathe in his oral magic. And oh yeah, there will also be a boatload of cash to distribute. Not only will the Lamp winner get the biggest event winning payday in BGA history, but we will also be handing J-­‐Mo his third straight King Cobra Cup, which this year is worth almost $500. Suck it AssMo. Nobody likes you. For those that are feeling sprightly, you can hang with T Moore all night and close down all the bars. I would recommend it. And that’s that folks. The BGA Championship is over. If you’re lucky you only lose five years off your life. Who will bring home the Lamp? I don’t know. Could be anybody. And the King Cobra Cup? Let me be the first to congratulate J-­‐Mo on his third consecuHve KCC. Way to go d-­‐bag. I guess those six rounds per week have paid off. On behalf of the Brass, welcome to the 2014 BGA Championship. Spotlight
The Brassiest
Commish, Lonnie & Austin turned West Central Florida golf on its ear
and fish fu<ked it silly. Sure there is more to it than that but
essentially that’s what they did. They were an 800-pound gorilla with a
chainsaw for a penis when it came to organizing, running and
executing golf events that turned into rock concerts. Wanna play for a
$5 Nassau, Herbert? No? How about nearly $43,000 in cash handed
out on the BGA Tour. Everyone should probably go home to their wife &
kids following the event. No? At the 2008 CHHC you had professionals
passed out in their car after banging (maybe) Chesty LaRue while Kern
slept at the bar. Hey maybe we should issue an email explaining the
results from this past event? That’s gay (not that there’s anything
wrong with that). How about a Pulitzer worthy magazine that adds
depth and color to an already exploding cast of characters. That in a
nutshell is the Boggs Golf Association that the Three Brass men
envisioned. They applied their wit, competitive juices and penchant for
taking things too far and gave birth to a fire-breathing dragon of
business, ballwashing and awesomeness. Was it always hopscotch and
buttercrotch? No. But even at the Immaculate Conception Joseph had
to clean up some afterbirth. So see ya later Beuby. Adios Grote Rule.
The genius of the Big Three was that they knew if they kept it simple
and protected the integrity of the competition they would come. And
come they did. All over the faces of over 160 professionals to peg it up
in BGA events. And now, as the BGA rages like Dustin Johnson with a
kilo and your wife, these icons are stepping down from the throne of
the House of Boggs. This weekend they are Michael Jordan, posing for
just a second longer as the BGA’s largest field ever finds the bottom of
the net. So if you see them by the pool, on the course or banging your
wife, stop for a minute and let them know what you think of the job
they did. Buy them a drink and ask them to tell you a story about
how they built a ballwashing empire the likes of
Tee #1A
which may never be recreated. And please, please
Gyselinck, A…………
19
don’t bring up how you hate your group. You may
Moore, T
…………….
28
wind up being a fish with a face full of chainsaw.
Herig, C………………………..
25
Tee #1B
General Information
Kern, A……………………….
19
Tee #2
Wilson, J………………….
25 Bamman, I……………………..
22
Wilson, Sp………………
19 Davidson, B………………….
20
Friday Tee Time……………………………………………………………………………
………………………..1:30 PM
Wilson, Sa………………..
19 Couch, Ch……………………
11
Friday Greens Fee*……………………………
………………..$40ish
Wilson, A……………………
29 Sato, J………………………….
10
Saturday Tee Time……………………………………………………………………………
………………………..8:30 AM
Tee #3
Tee #4
Tee #5
Tee #6
Saturday Greens Fee*……………………………
…………….$55ish
Donahue, S………………..
19 Sara, J………………………….
16 Chambers, J……………….
29 Patel, R………………………
11
Tees both days………………………………………………..
…………….White
Decelles, S………………….
6 Latorre, H…………………….
22 Wailand, C………………
19 Robinson, B…………………
7
Wager**………………………………………………………
…………………………..$20
Tuls, S…………………………
38 Rudacille, S………………….
13 West, T……………………
19 Robinson, W……………..
21
Skins**……………………………………………………
…………………………..$20
Morrison, J…………………….
31 Lambertson, F………
13 Flynn, S……………………………..
7 Levengood, K……….6
Wade-­‐in**……………………………………………………..
……………………..$2
Tee #7
Tee #8
Tee #9A
Tee #9B
Proximities (day one ……………………..$100 only)***……………………………………………………..
each
Rasulo, T…………………….
19 Horsley, J………………..
32 Felton, M……………………
12 Battle, S……………………..
10
* Pay greens fees separately each day
** Wager, skins and w ade-­‐in all due F riday
*** R emaining m oney w ill be awarded to w inner
Neuffer, J…………………
32 Tatro, D………………………
20 Barber, S…………………….
4 Frank, J…………………………
23
Batchelder, B…………..
29 Farris, D………………………..
20 Couch, Co…………………….
21 Powell, J…………………….
18
Skunda, P………………………
10 Kirsch, V…………………..
20 Witters, M…………………………
30 Carlock, C………………….
8
10Q
Mr. Ass. Commish, as you step down from your post do you foster any regrets? The
Brass
Flashback seven years to The Tampa Bay Quota Clash. Somebody comes up to you and says this is going to go on for the next seven years and become “kind of a big thing”. How do you respond? Well that would be cool. Except lets not bitch about groups ok? Of all the events on the schedule, which is your favorite and why? That's harder to answer than it sounds. With the help of Lonnie & AusGn we preHy much invented all of them (except 3-­‐club). There is something about all of them that makes each one unique. I'm probably most proud of the Rideser Cup & the MatchPlay. Although the Rideser Cup got a liHle ugly this year it clearly means the most to everyone else and that makes me happy. MatchPlay was a concept that took a couple years to fine tune but everyone seems to really enjoy it. Except Sato. Who would you rather play 36 holes with, NASCAR or Les Brown? NASCAR. He is funny and isn't bossy. If you could re-­‐take one shot in the last seven years, what shot would it be? Not winning more. As Brass I somewhat felt obligated to allow everybody the chance to win. From here on out it’s (Donnie Long)balls to the wall. I am probably going to win a lot. Finish this sentence: if not for the Commish, I’d… Laugh a lot less. Many of you know how much I take it upon myself to keep that d-­‐bags ego in check, so it pains me to say it, but that mother truckstop cracks my ass up. At the end of the day, he’s top notch. At Super Clash IV in 2011 you lost a Lamp in a cell phone light puO-­‐off to Neuffer. How would your career be different today if you’d have won that Major? Things would have probably spiraled out of control. I would have given up golf altogether thinking there was nowhere to go but down and developed a furry feGsh and found myself trolling the aisles at Disney for characters in costume. Thanks for making your puH Neuff. Is your post-­‐Brass career more likely to feature Lonnie Hohnson or Donnie Longballs? DLB. Lonnie was the nicer guy who politely asked for money and exchanged niceGes before the round. I don’t expect there is much of a role for him anymore. Who moved the pin at ChampionsGate in 2011? Wouldn’t you like to know. I think I will take that one to the grave with me. The lag birdie puH on #15 in the 2012 BRC vs. Mclovin & JMo. Blasted by & had 10 feet coming back to win the hole, missed that. Would have squared match that we ended up losing 2&1 & was the deciding point in BRC. Didn't mean we would have won the match, but would have made things more interesGng. List your top 5 Accomplishments as the BGA’s Commish? Well all the accomplishments really were a team effort of myself, lonnie & ausGn. I was the idea guy but Lonnie & AusGn made the ideas realizaGons so with that in mind: 5) 4) 3) 2) 1) The BGA Championship -­‐ It was ambiGous thinking we could get everyone to commit to a getaway weekend early on, but has turned into the highlight of the year. The MatchPlay -­‐ this one was more difficult to come to fruiGon than people think because we first needed a ranking so we developed the World Boggs Rankings with the MatchPlay in mind. Then the bracket was absurd. AusGn & I sat around for like 6hrs figuring out the loser's bracket & which loser would play which loser. But people seem to like it so that made it worthwhile. The branding & logos -­‐ obviously this is 95% AusGn. I helped a great deal again with ideas, but I have no idea how to make these things come to life. To outsiders the logos are people's first impressions & its fun to see their faces when the realize the BGA is legit. The Boggs Rideser Cup -­‐ This is the only event that everyone involved begins looking forward to the next one the minute that event ends. Ager Bradenton finally beat us in flag football we needed something we had the upped hand in. Tampa won the first one which made way for Sato's mercenaries in year 2. Since then it has exploded into the best event of the year and the fireworks in 2011 @ Bardmoor in my opinion will never be equaled. Really happy that everyone enjoys it as much as I do. The CompeGGon -­‐ The fact that literally anyone can win if they play a good round for them. We've had mini tour players win and Les Brown win and all likes in between. Lonnie's stat keeping provide us an equal playing field that allows anyone to compete. And the compeGGon itself is awesome. It's not some beer league where people are playing by any rules they want. The integrity of the field is protected by our rules and everyone abides by them. The 2013-2014 Season In Rewind…
LBLDI
CHHC
Super Clash
JMo BS
1) DLB +11
1) 6 +12
1) Dr. Couch +12
1) J-Mo +8
2) J-Mo +9
2) TPC4 +7
2) Farris +7
2) T Moore +5
BGA Shootout
TPC
Garnet & Gold
3-Club
1) Les Brown +9
1) Tuls +8
1) Chambes +12
1) Tuls +12
2) Flynn +5
2) TPC4 +7
2) Commish +4
2) LDS +9
BRC
Boggsters
MatchPlay
Red Bud Cup
Tampa 3.5 - 1.5
1) The Griz +15
T Moore defeats
1) Adubs 155
Grimaldi MVP
2) J-Mo +12
Commish on 2nd
2) Chambes 170
Elvis
extra hole
1) Wailand +9
2) DLB +9
…You Are Welcome.