GMOT Week 6

GMOT
WAKA Space City Summer 2011
Ghost Man On Third
All the news that’s fit to kick!
Week 6
Games Aug 4th
THE 10 COMMANDMENTS OF NO BUNTING KICKBALL
I. Thou shalt keep the ‘kick’ in kickball
II. Thou shalt not make unto thyself any
graven image of a kickball player who
bunts, a player of foursquare or likewise
a player of tiddlywinks. Thou art a
kickball player and a person therewith.
Speaketh not in tones of political
correctness, but, rather, let thy voice be
forthright. Let thy communication be
“Kick it!” or “Bunting is for pussies!” and
speaketh not the lukewarm utterances of
the bunting class.
III. Thou shalt not take the name of thy
coach in vain. Thou shalt obey him, and
put his playing plan forth onto the field
even in thy last innings.
IV. Remember the kickball day, to keep it
holy. Six days shalt thou drink, and do all
thy drunkenness in preparation for
Tuesday: But the kickball day is for thy
team, and thou shalt not cause thy team
to be mocked by bunting but only by thy
drunkenness and stupor.
V. Honour thy practice flip-cup sessions
that thy days may be long upon the
beers which thy kickball team giveth
thee.
VI. Thou shalt not bunt. Behold, bunting
is an abomination unto me, and maketh
thy opponent’s head like unto spoiled
fruit. This is not meet in mine eyes.
VII. Thou shalt not commit kickball
whoredom, for, behold, whoring is an
abomination unto me. Thou shalt retain
thy love for kicking, not bunting, and not
be given unto kickball whoredom like
unto those of the bunting.
VIII. Thou shalt not pitch to bunters.
IX. Thou shalt not listen to referees that
side with the bunting. When they asketh
thee if thou hast sinned, thy answer
shall be, “No, sir, for I do not bunt.”
X. Thou shalt not covet the victories of
the bunting, for they are hardly victories
at all, but only in a way that a losing
match of tetherball is a victory for the
ball.
Just to be fair here,
we totally stole the
Commandments from the
WAKA Tampa League. Why?
Because it was humorous
considering all of the
talk about bunting in
the Space City League.
Happy reading and
thanks Tampa.
FREE BEER!
MID SEASON PARTY
FINALLY!
This Friday at TBones!
9:00 P.M.
A Note from David, League Rep
This week’s scores
Greetings!
Team Bronado 3 def. Ball Stars 1
Daj Maballs 2 tie Grass Kickers 2
Ragin’ Homers 2 def. Hot Pitches 1
I'm sure that everyone has felt the dog days of
summer. Many of the US sports are locked out...the
days seem to get longer and longer...and for anyone that
needed a reminder that this is Houston, it's pretty dang
Slime Balls 11 def. Team Bronado 6
Objectionaballs 3 def. Grass Kickers 1
Hot Pitches 3 def. WAKA TX Rangers 1
hot outside. But kicking those big red balls makes
everything just a little better. This week is the final week
of the regular season. So let's kick it into overdrive and
Objectionaballs 6 def. Toe Jammers 3
WAKA Like Its Hot 4 def WAKA TX Rangers 2
lock up those spots before the playoffs.
See you on the field!
GRASS FIELD
REFS
DIRT FIELD
REFS
RAILROAD FIELD
REFS
7:15
GK
vs
SB
HP
TJ
vs
WLH
RH
BS
vs
OB
DM
8:00
RH
vs
SB
TJ
DM
vs
WLH
GK
HP
vs
BS
TB
8:45
WTR
vs
RH
BS
DM
vs
TB
SB
vs
Captain’s Corner
WAKA Texas Rangers
What does it feel like to be a Douche Canoe? The Rangers decided that this week would be the week to find
out. I guess we owe Hot Pitches and WAKA like it's Hot a bit of an apology for our poor sportsmanship on
Thursday. We promise that we really are "Good People". You see, we came into these games riding high
from a double win the pervious week. In our weekly conference call with Chuck we were congratulated
profusely by the Bearded One. We have so much to live up to. Chuck doesn't like losers, and frankly we like
the weeks that he spares us from round house kicks to the face when we lose. If we tie we still get punched
in the gut by Chuck for not winning. I am not sure if everyone understands how bad this is. Chuck Norris can
punch your thoughts and give you a concussion. The offending parties (AKA Douches) on the Rangers were
quickly dispatched after the game to Chuck's summer camp for behavior modification. It is rumored that the
place looks a lot like a POW camp from "Nam" but no one REALLY knows. They will be on the receiving end
of such activities as "Arts and Kick ass", "Advanced Roundhouse Kicks", "Groin kicks - The fine art of the
Nut Buster and Muff Punt". I can assure you this is no Camp Anawanna and that the Douches will be much
better behaved in the future. Chuck has assured us that beatings will continue until morale improves!
On a more pleasant note, the Rangers would like to welcome our newest member of the 2032 kickball team
and provide a warning to all others. In a bid for world domination of kickball, the Rangers have embarked on
a ambitious Genetic Modification and breeding program to produce the most bad ass kickballers ever. We
have infused Smith with Chuck Norris DNA and Tiger Blood (from LSU's Mike the Tiger, of course) . Smith,
born August 3rd, to Pete and Niki was allegedly 20 lbs and 15 Oz
and came out fists first. Upon arrival into the world, Smith
promptly round house kicked the doctor in the face as retaliation
for making the mistake of slapping him on the butt to make him
cry. The Doctor had no idea that Smith was silent because he is
incapable of crying, it's not in his DNA. Smith then proceeded to
cut his own umbilical cord, walk out to the car, and tell Pete that
he was ready to go home. Pete and Niki are currently home
recovering in bed. Smith on the other hand is sitting on the couch
eating solid food, speaking 3 languages, and has already viewed
every season of Walker Texas Ranger, Delta Force, and Missing
in Action. Kate and Will, who live a couple blocks away, reportedly
saw the Boggie Man running for his life upon Smith's arrival at
home. There will be no need for Monster Spray in the Hollis
household. Monsters have been seen spraying for Smith. Pete
and Niki have asked that in lieu of gifts, please send razors
because as of noon on Aug 4th, Smith already had a Five O'clock
shadow. Smith will soon be attending daycare at the Chuck Norris
Roundhouse Kick Academy for the Deadly. We are positive that
Smith will be a kickball allstar in a matter of days, however current
WAKA eligibility rules prohibit us from adding him to the roster due
to his age. 2032 you have been warned!
CAUGHT IN THE ACT
FLIP CUP THE OFFICIAL DRINKING GAME OF KICKBALL
1, 2, 3, FLIP!
This week we left all of the drama
of the previous week behind us. Well,
sort of. I was asked by a certain
someone who will remain anonymous
(hint: She is a Slime Ball) to call out
EVERYONE that wenies out and goes
home early with the excuse “I have
work in the morning.” Well, we ALL
have work in the morning. If you
don’t, keep your mouth shut and just
play along because you are in the
minority! So get to the bar and play
favorites the ObjectionaBalls are
seeing their lead getting eaten
away by the Ragin’ Homers. This
week the ObjectionaBalls fell in the
first round to WAKA Like It’s Hot
and that opened up the door for
the Ragin’ Homers to flip some
cups and throw some points on
the board. As luck would have it,
WAKA Like It’s Hot and Ragin’
Homers made it all the way to the
finals only to have to face off
against each other in the final
some flip cup! There is no reason for
a forfeit. Flip Cup is done by 11pm
even when those gold shirts have late
games.
Can you believe we are in week 6
already of Flip Cup? We have a pretty
good idea who the good flippers are
and who just can’t can’t stay out past
curfew (This week it was Hot
Pitches). That said the surprises just
round. In the end WAKA Like It’s
Hot stayed hot and one flipped
their way to take the win for the
week.
On a side note, we found a
mistake in the standings and it
turns out that Hot Pitches has 2
This is the last week
of regular flip cup.
Next week is the
fight for eternal
Flip Cup GLORY and
the season’s
championship!
wins that we somehow
missed. Good thing we
keep all the brackets! See
ya’ll on the tables!
never seem to stop. The obvious
Flip Cup Standings
1. The ObjectionaBalls 12 wins
2. Ragin’ Homers 10 wins
3. Slime Balls 7 wins
4. WAKA Like It’s Hot 7 wins
This Weeks WINNER
5. Ball Stars 6 Wins
6. Daj Maballs 5 wins
7. WAKA TX Rangers 4 wins
8. Team Bronado 4 wins
9. Grass Kickers 2 wins
10. Hot Pitches 2 wins
11. Toe Jammers 1 win
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Team write-ups, general smack talking,
random columns, photographs, and
anything else you would like to share
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[email protected]. Articles/
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included in the current issue. (Please
don’t send submissions to David,
League Rep).
Nothing in the GMOT newsletter is to
be taken seriously, except for the
scores - and even that’s questionable.
Thanks Contributors
Will B. & Kate L. (Editors)
David L. (Photographer)
Team Captains & Representatives
David S. (League Rep)
SPACE CITY
ISSUE no. 7 (Summer 2011)
Drink Responsibly
WAKA encourages everyone to drink
responsibly and ensure a safe ride
home.