Great Episodes in Ormond History

Issue 2, 20th March 2011
Cool Rob:
Twice the Advice!
Tom Bell gets busy
with Student Service
O
THE
et nova, et cetera...
RMONDIAN
Abdul Reveals All!
a publication of the OCSC
EE
T
YOUR EDITOR
S
2
M
Hilary ‘Binks has long been a supporter of gay rights
and in addition to her secretarial responsibilities at The
Ormondian, she enjoys rallying ‘dA youff ’. Her hobbies include finger painting and she says her favourite
television show is ‘The Care Bears’.
Liv Chapman’s motto is ‘party like it’s 1988’. After an
unfortunate golfing accident this crazy prawn thinks
she’s genuinely living in the eighties. Medical authorities advise that this carefully constructed delusion is
crucial to her ongoing functionability. The Ormondian
appreciates your discretion.
Sam Taylor is a total klepto (but we keep him round
because he’s Captain Photography). Ladies and gents,
hold on to your iPhones.
Hana Maeorg has been described as ‘intense’…but we
think she’s a sweetheart. When she’s not debriefing
with her shrink about her intimacy issues or spending a
cheeky hour or two sharpening her watercolour Derwents, she focuses on her photography and design.
Steph ‘I Run This Shit’ Morley is an aspiring megalomaniac. Liable to introduce herself as ‘Queen of the
Universe’, she has spearheaded various campaigns at
Ormond with the aim of getting her own lift and having access to all admin passwords.
Will Mosley describes himself as ‘dirt’s most vocal fan’.
Tunneling his way into Ormond wasn’t easy (apparently there’s a bunch of dead cats/rats under the building) and there’s no denying he has his own particular
fragrance…
John Ryan is a descendant of Che Guevara. Still not
impressed? He’s also considered a world authority on
the etymology of the word ‘dragon’ and over the summer he placed first in the International Dungeons and
Dragons Championships (from a competitive pool of
five!)
3
Table of Contents
Meet the Editors 2
From Hyderabad... with Love 4
The Comments Book 5
AskRob
6
Great Episodes in Ormond History 8
First Findings of a Fresher 9
Sandwich Bar 10
Achieving Greatness 12
Crunchtime
14
Alliance Menu 16
Stories of Service 17
The Fun Stuff 18
Editors’ Note
This week The Ormondian brings
you our Food Issue!
Featuring delectably candid
interviews, scrumptious advice
columns and, our special, a fresh
batch of Horoscopes - which
some may describe as an acquired
taste.
For reservations, enquires and the
chance to win a date with Cool
Rob, please email:
[email protected]
Bon appétit!
The Editors
4
wife, Nabina through a traditional
arranged marriage in India 3 years
ago. We have a two and a half year
old son, Abdul Rahnan and last
week we had our second child, a
baby girl who we named Sumaya!
Time I’ve lived in Australia:
3 years.
d
a
b
r
e
d
y
H
m
Fro
e
v
o
L
h
t
i
W
.
.
.
Name:
Mohul Abdul Wahab
Age:
27
Birthplace:
Hyderbad, India
Language spoken:
Hindu, Urdu, English
Everyone who passes through the
Ormond dining hall on a regular basis
is intimately familiar with Mohul
Abdul Wahab’s smiling face and gentle
presence. A warm “Hey, brother!”
greets every diner as they swipe their
meal card and venture into the Hogwartsian environs of the Hall. But
who is this gentle giant of Ormond
cuisine? Our reporter Liv Chapman
investigates the life and times of this
Ormond legend...
I’ve worked at Ormond for:
1 year in May.
My family:
In a family of 13, I am the 8th
child, which I loved growing up
because it meant I had less responsibility! I have five brothers
and five sisters who all still live in
Hyderabad, except for three of my
brothers who are in the Untied
States and Saudi Arabia. I met my
Other places I’ve lived:
Dubai for 3 years and China for 6
months.
My favourite food:
Anything made by the mother.
Favourite thing about my job:
Customer service and helping
people.
Least favourite thing about my job:
Wasting food.
Formal dinner or regular dinner:
Either, both are a busy place.
My favourite movie:
Titanic!
Favourite Student:
Everyone! Everyone is like a friend.
Would I ever eat…
Eel? No.
Kangaroo? No.
Camel? Yes (it is allowed to be
eaten under the laws of Halal).
If I were an animal I’d be…
A fish.
Why a fish?
Just because.
5
The Comments Book
At Ormond, the art of complaint reaches its fullest expression in the famed
Alliance Comments Book, installed in its pedestal beneath the Menu. It’s
more than just a good place to whinge, though - it’s a great read! The pages
are filled poetic paens to pastas and parmagianas, elegant elocutions on
eggplants, and the always charming and patient Alliance responses to the
slings and arrows of mass catering. Reproduced on this page is a particularly excellent example of comment book conversation...
6.3.2011
Anonymous: ABDUL GOOD JOB
Alliance: Yep
Peter: Dinner was awful today. No
chicken left despite multiple tables
being empty. I then had to have the
vego option which was inedible.
Therefore I left formal hall hungry
and very dissatisfied with the food
at Ormond.
Alliance: Peter sorry to hear this.
There is always portioned amounts
per table. Ensure no one is eating two times portions of chicken.
There was only one table empty on
Sunday night.
Hamish: don’t be so rude Peter, vego
option was ok, not great but stop
being such a whiny bitch.
Peter: soz I was hungry and moany
lol
Lilly: the vego was terrible, please
don’t make it again…
Alliance: this was a gluten free option that we are testing out.
Hamish: for a template of good
advice, see my last comment, which
was “great feedback”
3.3.2011
Hamish: Been lovely food recently.
Nachos= amazing, falafels= amazing, banana bread= amazing, vegie
meal at formal dinner= amazing,
but LUNCH TODAY= pretty
awful!
Alliance: Great feedback, thank
you!
6
AskRob
Dear Cool Rob,
I have a small confession- or a
large one, depending on which way
you look at it. Since I came to college I’ve noticed some changes in
myself. At the beginning, I wasn’t
quite sure what was different... But
over time it became clearer and
clearer. Young and innocent as
I was, I had no idea of the horror that lurked at lunch, stalked
through Servery, danced at dinner
and brushed through Brunch.
Now I see the truth.
The Fresher Five stole into my
life and onto my middle and I just
don’t know what to do.
I’m getting desperate for some of
your salient advice, as you always
seem so tanned, fit and thin.
Please help,
Serve Slave
Dear Slave,
The Fresher Five is a debilitating
condition suffered by 99.9% of
all Ormondians, spanning years,
degrees and gender(s). In view
of the serious nature of your
question, I’ll get straight down
to brass tacks. (Metaphorically
speaking that is, because tacks
would be completely useless.
Unless I wanted to tack something on my wall... and even then
I’m more of a BluTak Bloke.)
Right. Straight down to it. This is
going to save you from yourself,
I kid you not. There is a way not
only to avoid gaining another five
kilos, but to lose those five(s)
already gained (we’re three
weeks in people, let’s not kid
ourselves). It is my honour to
pass on the knowledge of my
former second and third years,
now esteemed alumni, and help
you rise above your pain.
Are you ready? Here is the ultimate truth behind truths:
STOP EATING THE
CHOCOLATE RIPPLE CAKE.
...Just kidding, I love that stuff!
I meant to say, ‘a prinny a day
keeps the five away’. Best of
luck!
St
!
l
o
o
ay c
Rob
7
Dear Cool Rob,
I’m a muscly lad who may have
made some questionable judgement calls at Turf last night, after
downing too many pintas and
santa marias.
How do I come to terms with my
shameful antics and face the jeering of my chums?
Please help,
Troubled at Turf
Dear Troubled,
In the midst of that heady mix of
beats, sweat and alcohol, under
those dim Turf lights and in front
of the overly angry bouncers,
hook-ups are known to happen.
But with all eyes on you it can be
difficult to focus on what’s important, and it certainly doesn’t help
when your mates have to keep
sending their congratulations
your way.
So ignore the jibes of your luckless peers! It’s your turn to have
a good night (a good, GOOD
night) and nothing should interfere. The idiots -your friendswouldn’t be cheering and dancing round you in a circle if they
had something better to occupy
their time...
Furthermore, there is nothing
shameful or questionable about
a cheeky d-floor hook-up- unless
you are her/his legal guardian, a
sibling or about to move to South
Australia and have a child with
your father/daughter. And whilst
you are outwardly embarrassed,
you are obviously inwardly proud
– that’s sort of why you wrote to
The Ormondian in the first place.
No one wants to be ‘that guy’ or
‘that girl’ who kisses and tells,
but you do kind of like it when
people know of your goings-on.
So the real question is how better to achieve this dissemination
of knowledge without apparent
effort? I am here to help. As I
always say, go kiss in the middle
of the d-floor, appear to be angry
when people mention the night’s
exploits, and if you have some
dirty laundry to air put it in writing
- to me!
Finally, Troubled, I know you well
and unlike me, you were most
definitely batting way out of your
league. So man-up and take
your friends compliments and
jibes like a boss.
ss!
o
L
e&
v
o
L
n
I
b
o
R
send your questions to:
[email protected]
8
Great Episodes in Ormond History
Tom Carmody
While there is always repeated mention of the idea of tradition at the
beginning of each college year, athese aspects can never be understood
without a solid grounding in the
history of Ormond and its alumni.
We are all, of course, well versed in
the adventures of some of Ormond’s
most notable alumni, including
Mark Seymour and Edward ‘Weary’
Dunlop, but there are a number of
equally important moments that are
integral to framing a college experience.
One of the earliest of these is a conversation involving a previous chair,
Jasper Barlowe, who was observing
to a group of freshers in his main
building study that the number attending ‘Turf ’ on a weekly basis had
been slowly decreasing throughout
the semester. What intrigued him
most, he mused, was that it was the
bigger and fitter boys that were still
making it down, and it was these
men who had the most mates. This
also applied to those boys whose
fathers had shown a similar trait in
their time at Ormond. The topic
was soon replaced by a discussion of
the new game Jasper had recently
created, called Billiards, but it had
already struck a chord with one
particular fresher, a young English
exchange student. And so it was,
shortly after returning home from
his time at Ormond that the fresher,
Charles Darwin, published this
‘Theory of Evolution’, replacing the
more solid Ormond example with
some observations of animals.
Another episode usually overlooked
involves another exchange student.
Having finished his Sunday dinner
early, and not wanting to leave the
hall early, for fear of appearing rude,
the young physics student, Albie,
began to draw upon his Sodexho
napkin (this was in the days before
Alliance). Pleased with what he had
produced, he later published his
findings under his full name ‘Albert
Einstein’, removing the Sodexho
from his final paper to prevent a
breach in copyright.
Ormond also has an artistic background. Cate Blanchett, having
strod the boards for many years at
MLC, progressed on to Ormond
for a year, where she starred alongside Tilda Swinton in the very
first ‘Ormond Shorts’ production,
and Shakespeare’s ‘A Midsummer
Night’s Dream’ was specifically
written to be performed on Picken
Lawn.
In a similar vein, it was on the way
from the Hawthorn to the Nash
on Boat Race Bus that Rosa Parks
refused to give up her seat to one of
the rowers, an incident which she
famously repeated a few years later
in the U.S.
And so Ormondians, I hope you
now have a more complete picture
of the history which has taken place
in the halls in which you now whistle. Maybe you are walking beside a
future world leader, or another Donald Bradman.
I would like to leave you with this
quote from Winston Churchill
which seems to suit this piece.
History will be kind to me for I
intend to write it.
A copy of Albie’s original napkin,
which can be viewed on Tuesdays in
the Library.
Thoughts, musings, stories?
Write to us:
[email protected]
9
First Findings of a Fresher
Many things have caught my eye
in these few weeks, and I aim to
inform you of the ramblings of a
deranged fresher’s mind.
Remember the days of blackboards?
Long gone are the old Blackboard
claptraps, spewing mountains of
ground chalk into the lungs of
students, however with the disappearance of these Asthma causing,
clothing degrading teaching icons,
a charm has been lost from classrooms everywhere. If it were up to
me I would reinstate blackboards,
not only as an incredibly cool fashion tip but also to strengthen the
lungs of these high-tech new-age
students.
Who gets to name buildings?
Thom Davey
Now I love a building with a name,
Embossed letters on a historical landmark? God yes! However
whoever thought at The University
of Melbourne it would be good to
name 3 buildings, all brick, and then
to name similar sounding names, is
misguided, deranged or maybe has
an office where they can see freshers running between all three. The
Buildings I of course speak of is
Richard Berry, Redmond Barry and
Richard Priestly…or is that Redmond Berry? Excuse me if I am not
present at my lecture out of protest
of ridiculous names of buildings.
Trams on time?
Last week coming home from dinner in the city on a Melbourne University tram, I was surprised to find
that the last stop was on Queensbury street…this appeared to be
the case for the next three trams.
It seems Yarra Trams were running
Got something to plug?
[email protected]
behind schedule, so they were removing passengers from their trams,
you’ve got to be on schedule if there
is no one on your trams yes?
The Seven Wonders?
We all know them, but what is
replacing the computer room?
And moreover has anyone claimed
to have been to all corners of the
Ormond world and conquered all
seven? I’d like to hear some feedback written in the Ormondian…
Sandwich
Bar
10
We are here to help you navigate the treacherous
and dangerous land of the sandwich bar.
Lunch at the sandwich bar at Or-rmond is an experience in itself. It’s a
stressful and oft harrowing time for
many of you who are new to fast-paced
calamitous world that hinges on vital
on moral questions like, to grill or not
to grill?
If you want to reopen the wrap post grilling to
add cold options aka lettuce and beetroot, which
obviously you do, you should chose the thicker
wrap option. Going with the thin will guarantee
that the cheese sticks too closely to the bread
and your sandwich contents are forever locked
away. No lettuce for you!
When it’s a choice between over-processed
ham, unappetising chicken pieces, and a mysterious white luncheon meat that only Mosley can
identify, you should try going vegetarian.
Hey, you there, I see you, using the tongs
for the beetroot in the shredded cheese.
Don’t do that. Look you’ve dropped
some beetroot juices in the cheese.
Beetroot sucks. As a general rule don’t
mix your tongs – or spoons.
A note for the vegans. Vegans love
hummus. Hummus is tasty. Well played
vegans. But, vegans hate pesto (it has
animal products in it). Bad. But still,
when you plop the spoon from your
pesto into the hummus, somewhere in
the world, a vegan cries.
11
Let’s move on from rolls,
we’ve given them quite the
grilling.
Salads at lunch. Such a mixed bag. Sometimes
you get “amazingness” (Parr, 2011). Like fetta
(yay fetta!) and roasted pump-kin, other days
they copy dinner and claim that cabbage is
similar to lettiuce. It’s really not. We’ll discuss
the salad options in greater detail later –
(Spoiler: sometimes taking ingredients from the
salad can exponentially improve your sandwich
combos)
For those of you
who always chose
the hot option at
lunch times, we
must leave you out
in the cold as we
look to the superior
option: the sandwich bar.
Alice Goodman & Sophie Parr
12
Achieving Greatness
Hello, The Ormondian.
If I were to take, say, a small sample
of Ormondians - and I need be vary
careful not to generalise here - it
would be fair to say that the majority of that sample come from backgrounds which are privileged. And
I mean so not only in the relative
sense of the University of Melbourne, but on a much grander scale.
The fees at this college are, after all,
more than twice the annual income
of the ‘average’ person in the world.
Yet along with such great prosperity
comes, as it inevitably does, a surrounding attitude of privileged conceit - a denial of wealth, along with
a permissive acceptance of one’s own
advantage so strong that one barely
notices it. Such an attitude invariably results in complacency.
This is something I wish to challenge, with the greatest force I can
possibly muster in this article. It
is, after all, the loss of such sense
of struggle which creates a lingering sense of enduring mediocrity. It
creates ‘leaders’ that are propelled by
their family’s own position and the
strength of personal connections,
rather than the momentum of their
own ambition, foresight, and intelligence. For the moment one loses
sight of the monumental luck in being here, right now, is when things
start to collapse. We are all not only
needs be blessed with the intel-
Will Moisis
lectual and emotional intelligence
to be accepted here, but have the
capacity (however tenuous) to pay
what are among the most expensive
college fees in the country. It is easy
for one to lose the sense of struggle
and merely fall into the comfortable
cushion of college life.
I suppose I should be clearer in
what I mean. There are a great number of people who take advantage
of the opportunities available here.
Yet beyond the ‘college bubble’, it is
often too difficult to leave a mark
on the real world. Especially in first
year, the events of the world are
merely an afterthought to the struggles of daily life; the college smoko
taking precedence in conversation
over the death of thousands and
impending nuclear disaster in Japan.
Perhaps it is too much to ask for a
through appreciation of world affairs, or even an appreciation of life
beyond drunken frivolity, as a newly
indoctrinated college kid. I myself
would be hypocritical if I claimed I
have acted otherwise. This is where,
I think, there is a greater role for
senior students to take a guiding role in directing the life of the
college. For all its worth, the college administration’s academic and
social programs are limited by their
very formality, and can’t replace the
organic creation of an intellectual,
inclusive community from seniors
down. This is where programs like
Ghazi Ahamat and Bill Stephenson’s philosophy sessions are simply
invaluable in permeating a mark
13
in college life in the way a formal,
committee planned set of events
never could.
But in terms of creating a mark on
the real world we need to go further.
I’m reluctant to make suggestions,
for a college as ‘good’ as Ormond is
hard to come by. Perhaps, though, it
is worth taking a leaf out of St Paul’s
College in Sydney. While they support a broader culture of partying,
they have achieved a level of success
on an individual student level that
Ormond should aspire to. They have
had three Rhodes Scholarship winners in the last three years, where
we have had none. Inside their walls
they have recently established two
successful philanthropic venturesAustralian Indigenous Mentoring
Experience (AIME) (an incredibly
successful indigenous mentoring
program) and 180 Degrees Consulting (a student-run consulting firm
for non-for profit organisations).
This is by no means an out-and-out
attack on Ormond. In fact, the college has struck me as a fantastically
liberal, exciting, unique place. And
indeed, Ormond has produced and
continues to produce philanthropists, academics and entrepreneurs
within our undergraduate community. The community service and
school mentoring programs are
obvious examples of such excellence.
However, rather than rest on our
laurels, it is necessary for us to set
our sights higher. There is a world
beyond the organisational bounds
of college where we could be a real
force for good. As an undergraduate
body we need to ask not how we can
use Ormond to our personal advantage, but rather how we can use our
inherent advantages to contribute to
the wider world.
Stay cool.
Is this a fair comment?
What do you think?
[email protected]
14
Crunch Time
“You know, college is great and all,
and I really love it, but its just feels
like so much is going on and I don’t
know why, but a part of me thinks I
can’t keep up. I don’t want to move
out next year, but a part of me feels
I’ll have to. Is it wrong to say that?”
It’s an incredible relief to know that
we all, to some extent, feel overwhelmed by college. There’s nothing
quite as intensely absorbing as our
residential environment. In addition to university and complete
social preoccupation with a whole
year group of new friends, there’s
subcommittees, turf every Monday,
smokos, sport. For freshers, there
hasn’t been a change of pace since
O-Week and Seniors haven’t had
a decent break since the summer
holidays. There’s the sense that
OCSC activities are only beginning,
and with this comes the foreboding
feeling that the demands on your
health and time are increasing while
your health and energy deteriorate.
It seems like everyone is managing to get to more classes than you,
make more friends, study more,
train more, drink more, party more,
hook up more, and then get up the
next morning to do it all again.
And part of you is dying for a
break. Emotions begin to behave in
strange ways, and it might just be
the sleep deprivation or malnutri-
15
tion afforded from being given the
option of coco pops over muesli at
breakfast, but small issues become
rather more dramatic because you
don’t have the animation to address
them. Meanwhile, you’re feelingguilty because everyone loves college, right? There’s absolutely nothing bad about college, right?
The Ormondian believes that it’s important to remember that this pace
leaves everyone a little exhausted
at one point or another. Thriving at
college means immersing yourself in
everything you love about this place,
whether that be planning smokos
or even spending excessive lengths
of time at meals because the chance
to talk to everyone is just too good
to pass up. The irrepressible feeling
that you’re behind with everything
isn’t helped by the fact that it seems
everyone is so much more successful
at the things you love than you.
Ormond is a place for amazing
people, and it can sometimes be
alarming to realize that with anything you’re good at, chances are
there’s someone here who can do
it better. Don’t be daunted by that;
be inspired by it! We’re so incredibly lucky to be surrounded by such
talented, intelligent, stimulating
and creative people on a daily basis.
This is a unique period in our lives
when we can be motivated by the
individuality of each perspective at
Ormond, and in turn prompt higher
thoughts from others. Embrace the
chance broaden your prospects.
That being said, it remains equally
important not to spread yourself
too thin. Ultimately, we’re all here
for our academic pursuits. It’s vital
to prioritize this aspect of life when
all else becomes overpowering. The
plethora of opportunities offered
within our OCSC are much better
realized when you learn to organize
your time and reduce procrastination (and if you ARE procrastinating, we recommend you go to the
JCR and procrastinate as a group.
Or write to the Ormondian. You
know the drill.) Aim to get involved
with as much as you can, but equally,
become involved in the things you
love, and most importantly of all,
be realistic. Work out your commitments now and reassess as things
change. It’s okay to say no and to
feel like you can’t take on too much!
We’re all much more effective when
dealing with realistic workloads and
no doubt we’ll all thank you for it.
The Ormondian’ s advice is to choose
to challenge yourself a little each
day - not a lot! Create your goals
to be achievable and Ormond will
surely be your happy home for many
years to come.
Interested? Contact Sara Coughlan on 0429597184
16
WEEK 4
Breakfast
Lunch
Dinner:
Option 1
Dinner:
Option 2
Vegetarian
MONDAY
SUCK IT THE
F*** UP
TUESDAY
Bacon Fat.
Oh and bacon.
WEDNESDAY
Thursday breakfast exists? I was
saaaah wasted at
Smoko.
THURSDAY
MISSED IT.
FRIDAY
WE’RE NOT A
MORNING
COLLEGE.
SATURDAY
‘Seriously, my
A LITTLE SOMEsponsor child
THING TO PUT
wouldn’t eat this’. TOWARDS THE
FRESHER FIVE
SUNDAY
Meat in a red
sauce.
SAMOSA LUCKY
DIP (hint: there’s
poo inside)
Meat in a blue
(blue?) sauce.
POSSUM AU
MORT
THE USUAL
Meat in a red
sauce.
JUST GO TO
GRILL’D
BRUNCH:
Tryouts for Biggest
Loser 2012:
Colleges
POO GNOCCI (we
chopped regular poo into
bite size chunks(we put the
possums to work))
CHALLENGE:
share 3 pieces of
‘I just want
chicken between seconds. Please.
ten.
PLEASE NANCY.’
Meat in a grey
sauce.
CAPSICUM
THREE CHEESE
STUFFED WITH
POO
POO
Meat in a red
sauce.
LYGON
ANYONE?
Powdered eggs?
Really?
Meat in a white
sauce.
ORMOND CAT
‘DIY sandwiches?
My mum made
my lunch when I AMBIGUOUS MEAT ‘I’m going to the
JCR’
was at Melbourne
Grammar’.
Meat in a red
sauce.
POO IN EGGPLANT
Meat surprise…
‘The food was so
SURPRISE, IT’S much better at Geelong Grammar’
NOT MEAT.
POO
17
Stories of Service
by Tom Bell
There are few institutions in the
world that can claim to produce
friendships and bonds quite like that
at Ormond College. In the past, an
integral part of the life of the college
has been student service. This small
article explores where student service has left the students of Ormond
College after all these decades, and
why it will always be central to the
broad personal development experience at Ormond College.
Take for example Jenny and Michael Robertson (OC 1995 & 1994
respectively). They first met whilst
doing a pantry student service on
one Sunday evening early in 1995.
Consequently, the relationship they
founded in the Ormond College
pantry resulted in marriage and
two children. Michael says of that
particular student service at Ormond “We’ll never forget that day,
we both reached for the same dish
at the same time, apologised in sync,
blushed, and the rest is history”.
Jenny remembers it slightly differently, in which Michael apparently
‘propositioned her for a game of late
night billiards’. Needless to say that
without the service, they may never
have met.
Another prime example is John
Mansell (brother of David Mansell, Chair of the OCSC in 1958)
and his wife Elizabeth (Women’s
Above: John & Elizabeth Mansell at
their home in Brighton
Right: Michael and Jenny Robertson
College 1958). Mansell was carrying out his regular fortnightly
gardening service outside of Allan
House when a group of women
from the college over the road (now
UC) walked past him along royal
parade. Taking a liking to what
they saw, Elizabeth solely picked
up the courage and asked John to
the Women’s Dance at the St. Kilda
Town Hall once month later. When
asked about this crucial moment in
their life John got back to me saying
“All I remember was that it was an
amazing night and Liz was a great
partner. Plus she cooks an amazing
breakfast”.
Ernest Edward ‘Weary’ Dunlop
himself is quoted in his 1994 biog-
raphy by Sue Ebury as saying that
“my student service at Ormond College were some of the most memorable times of my life, the comradeship that we’d forged during a hall
service was unparalleled in anything
I’d ever experienced… except when I
was a POW in World War Two”.
I hope that these stories inspire you
to go and fulfil your absolute potential at student service. You never
know… it might get you laid.
18
Horoscopes
by Gareth Phoenix
The stars align as
siblings of greats converge; beware the man
attempting the trilogy.
Watch for the new
undies Ads.
You’ll have a Dan good
time if Hughes all get
excited.
Drew ‘as a Pardi, you
should check it out!
The Flint has provided
the spark, now let’s
watch it start to Bernie.
Be Shaw to check for
ID, it may remind you of
your past.
Keep Pickering and
choosing those Cheeky
macks.
When the childcare and
medical worlds collide,
everyone is a winner.
A glass or two of fine
wine will help you find
that shining doe.
If you ask politely, a trio
may be on the cards,
providing everyone is
Keane.
Building a (Bain)bridge
may help with keeping
up with the Joneses.
Put some shoes on the
Shell and you may get a
chance to walk through
the Seward.
The Fritzel Factor The Fritzel Factor The Fritzl Factor
Hilary Seb Wood Jasmine Tremblay Herb Moore OO7 Binks 2% 2% The Indecision 1% Professor Nick Taylor Poppy 1% 1% 2% Mowgli 1% 3% Jobs Jack Maxwell McBain 1% Callum Buddy Gordon Bridie Mini 2% 1% Sanecat 2% Walsh 2% 1% 1% Farnsy Mitch Smith Ladies 2% 2% 4% 4% 3% Auto Georgie Cameron 1% 1% Aus;n VG Hallmark Dan Candy Gandalf 5% 5% 3% 3% Will Scott
Andy Columbus Shiraz Akbarally Michaelson Emperor 4% 4% 2% 2% Jess Denison Mrs Doub=ire 2% 2% Pip Daniel Tub 3% 3% Goose Nick 9% Yencken 9% Wallace Billy Thomas 6% 6% 22 Will ScoQ 7% 7% Richard Wetherell Scratch 3% 3% Blake Connell Chook 7% 7% Buster Shaw Charles 8% 8% The Stranger Bill Stephenson 17% 17% AKtude Liv Crane 5% 5% Phoenix Phoenix 1% 1% Freshers in the exam were asked;
‘of the O-week leaders, who would
be most likely to lock someone in
their basement, a-la Joseph Fritzl?’
The results are in, and whilst it
appears the freshers were accurate
judges of Bill Stephenson, the biggest surprise was the lack of votes
for Charles Shaw, a shock for many
pundits and poll-watchers.
Will Mosley did not poll a vote.
19
Forest Trivia
1 Point
2 Points
3 Points
1. Which is bigger, England or Britain?
2. Capital of India is...?
3. Name the new Kath and Kim film.
4. Which US fast food chain has the
second-most stores worldwide?
5. MMORPG stands for...?
6. Kevin Rudd was recently asked about
a leadership challenge, and, echoing the
famous comment by Julia Gillard about
being full forward for the Western Bulldogs,
said that he had more chance of captaining
which team than he did of being PM again?
7. In a Spanish house, where would you
find the washing machine and dryer?
8. Which party will win the NSW state election?
9. Who of the royal family is about to make
a visit to Australia and New Zealand?
10. Which city is known as the capital of
global “mining houses”?
1. Ausgrid Stadium is in which Australian
city?
2. ‘Game over, man, game over’ is a quote
from which film?
3. What is the name of the US private alleged to have leaked over 200,000 classified US diplomatic cables to Wikileaks?
4. Who played the characters of Ilsa and
Rick in the classic film Casablanca?
5. What do Ricky Ponting, Matthew
Richardson and Mary Donaldson have in
common?
6. Which two countries have the longest
shared land border?
7. Who is the Prime Minister of New Zealand?
8. Which current AFL coach has been in
their coaching role for the longest time?
9. Most believe that the monk Exiguus,
who backdated history to the year 1 AD,
miscalculated the date of Jesus of Nazareth’s birth. What do historians commonly
suggest as the actual year of Jesus’ birth?
10. Which is the only Australian state capital
not named after a person?
1. The Victoria Cross is forged from the
brass of cannons captured by the British in
which war?
2. How many Police Academy films were
eventually made?
3. The Australian Red Nose Day charity was
first created to investigate what?
4. Samson and Delilah, winner of the Camera d’Or for best first feature film, was the
directorial debut for whom?
5. Hylophobia is the fear of what?
6 points: I was born Mathangi Arulpragasam
in Hounslow, London in 18 July 1975.
5 Points: After studying design, I created the
cover for an Elastica single, and was encourage by the group to make music.
4 Points: My first two hiphop singles
“Galang” and “Sunshowers” became an underground sensation.
3 Points: I contributed songs to Slumdog
Millionaire and I was nominated for an Academy Award and a Grammy in the same year.
2 Points: ‘Kala’, my third album, featured
Paper Planes, which was a global hit.
1 Point: My name is a play on a common
military abbreviation, although the ‘A’ in my
name stands for Acton, a suburb of London.
Garfield WIthout Garfield
ANSWERS:
1 Point: 1.Britain 2.New Delhi 3. The Kath and Kim Filum 4. McDonalds (Subway 1st) 5. Massive Multiplayer Online
Role Playing Game 6. Brisbane Broncos 7. In the kitchen 8. Liberal 9. Prince William 10. London 2 Points: 1. Newcastle 2. Aliens 3. Bradley Manning 4. Ingrid Bergman and Humphrey Bogart 5. They are all Tasmanians 6. US and
Canada 7. John Key 8. Mick Malthouse (since 2000) 9. Six BC 10. Perth 3 Points: 1. The Crimean War 2. seven 3.
SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome) 4. Warwick Thornton 5. Forests Who am I?: MIA
Who am I?
Tally your scores to find out what you were
smart enough to have created:
40-51 points: UPP
30-40 points: Saturn V
20-30 points: Richo playing on the wing
10-20 points: McCaughey Court
0-10 points: Direct Action on Climate Change
Policy
Contact the Ormondian at
[email protected]
© 2011 OCSC