Trivia Night - The Ormondian

Issue 9, 14th August 2011
CoolRob’s
Broken Biscuit
Nom Nom
Nom...
O
THE
et nova, et cetera...
Check out
Ormond’s New
Bog Swamp
RMONDIAN
OCDC’s Peter Pan leaves us Hooked!
a publication of the OCSC
2
Save the Bush
Dear Editors,
As I reside on this porcelain dock
Conservation is an issue that is close
our hearts.
So proudly they stand, in pride of place,
While we considered sending this
piece of poetic prowess to the Ormond Papers, we thought your prestigious publication would perhaps
be more appropriate?
I gaze tenderly down at my most stigmatised locks.
such stature and poise! Such simple grace!
But alas, Ormond sisters, my mind has been taxed
by stories I’ve heard of our friends being waxed!
It’s not always for comfort that these beasts have been maimed
but because, I have heard, some sisters feel shamed!
Some feel expected to look like five year old girls,
though surely a woman is proven by curls?
If society expects us to be child-like and bald,
then we as a sex should be shocked and appalled.
For should we accept that our shrubs need the clip,
what would come next? The old Labial snip?
So rebel! Brave sisters of the Red, Black and Gold,
do not take heed when by Nads you are told:
that to have any chance of that bedroom delight,
your short and curlies must be plucked from sight.
It’s absurd to think that while men have them too,
the female brand has become such a taboo!
While I assure my flock that they’re not under threat,
the plight of their kindred is hard to forget -
So my mind is not easy, sitting perched on this loo.
Will we soon look like women from the pages of Zoo?
In short, all is not quiet on our southern fronts,
so unite, Ormond women and reclaim our cunts!
We wrote this piece to provoke
thought, debate, and the desire to
protect this important asset for
humankind.
Those who fight to save The Bush
have been shunned from society in
the past. There are powerful forces at
work that will fight (through vicious
advertising campaigns, you know
the type) to increase the rate of
deforestation. We therefore request
that our identities (which we’ve
thus-far attempted to conceal) remain unattached to this potentially
controversial commentary on our
concerning clear-felling tendencies.
Regards - Anonymous.
In defense of out use of cunt:
Germaine uses it and argues that our
discomfort with the word is merely a
symptom of the systemic patriarchy
of our society. Why is it that a word
describing a woman’s genitalia is considered one of the most offensive words
in the English lexicon? Besides, ‘vagina’
derives from the Latin ‘sword sheath’
and we resent that. It is also particularly
difficult to rhyme...
3
Table of Contents
Save the Bush...
2
Ormond Bites
4
Brack-ses & Bathtowels
6
SCR Not Staff!
7
AskRob - He’s Back
8
A Message From Admin
10
Buffy V Bella
12
Trivia Night Funzies
14
Cribz!
16
From the Archives
17
The Fun Stuff
18
Editors’ Note
Oh hai there Ormondians!
We hope you saw the play last week!
It was ah-mazing, and we’re sending out our biggest congratulations
to Blake & Ali, their splendid cast,
those visual wizards who made up
the creative team, and all the cute
little minions in black who ran
around and moved things to different spots. (You guys were the best.)
A big shout out is also well deserved
by the Community Service SubCommittee who organized a Trivia
Night so outrageous Adrian had to
shut that partay down.
This week we’ve brought back Cool
Rob with a vengeance: A new quill
described as “totes more acidic than
Rita Skeeter” now pens the antithesis to your angst, and this time it’s
personal. Nom nom nom on some
Ormond news, see Dworj kick some
Twilight tail, and avoid surprise
when your toilet door is removed,
cos we’ve got all the answers…
Kthxbye, The Editors
4
College News... Nom Nom Nom Sized!
A Gala Night
Wednesday the 10th of August saw
the opening night of the OCDC’s
Peter Pan. In the tradition of previous opening nights, the cast was
explicitly told by producer Alice
Goodman to “have fun” with the
run. The pirates in particular took
this very literally. Highlights included Soph Parr’s cover of ‘I’m On
A Boat’ and Hook’s final words (“et
nova, et vetera!”). And while the
pirate flag was slightly backwards
and the Darling house may have
featured a wheel, the Ormond only
audience was clearly no bothered
by these minor details. Cast looked
babein’, in particular Elle, Stef and
Georgia in their merm-a-tards and
full-body scales. Massive congratulations to everyone involved, especially our brilliant Drama Heads!
Awww shit!
There’s Wally!
An Awkward Intersection
After a big night out, the classic
It has taken a while but Ormondipre-Ormond destination has alans have finally crushed the spirits
of the official college photographers. ways been Intersection Café. Every
Smoko Head has their number on
The 2011 College photo features
speed dial, with the popular food
moustaches, Viking hats and even
choice being overwhelmingly Inties
an appearance from the elusive
pizza. However, one Henry HanWally. Whilst the 2010 photo saw
lon decided to explore their menu
some brutal editing, the number and
diversity of Ormondian quirks was
further and got more than he barclearly too great an effort for Photo- gained for. After a tiresome round of
Shop. We can imagine that the
golf, Henry struck up a conversation
with the manager about the legitimate ownership of a corn-cob.
‘EDIT THIS’
sign featured in MB2 window was
the final straw. However, the general response from students has been
positive. We hope future Ormondians will have a laugh and wonder
exactly what inspired Jimi Redhead
to go with grey for his moustache.
As luck would have it, the manager was in a good mood and took
Henry on a tour of the establishment. Henry chatted with the staff,
and even got to help with washing
dishes! And so the relationship between Ormond and Inties remains
strong!
5
Pong
It’s been great to see that college
staff and students have reached a
compromise regarding the ping
pong table. With it’s new location
next to the Billards table, the trophy
cabinets in the ‘Reading Room’ are
no longer in danger from tiny, highspeed missiles. All we need now is
to find a home for the other Billards
table ;) The JCR also features new
chill couches below the oars, which
has quickly been populated by the
500s. The café has also seen a great
boom in business, with nachos being
a particularly popular choice. For a
detailed explanation of salsa to sour
cream ratios, please contact Alex
Harper x1342 (especially if Johnny
O’Brien is making them)
Alan?!?
Picken residents were left confused
in the late hours of Monday night
with cries of ‘Alan! Alan! Alan!’ being heard through the corridors of
A3 and B3. Some people responded
with calls of ‘Steve! Steve!’ with no
response. Luckily, the lovely Naomi
Read came to the rescue. The lostTurf patriot located her Alan and
was safely escorted back to Main
Building.
Mighty Marcelle
More than the Magoos honour was
at stake at their debut match last
Wednesday. Mickey Bee (proudly
worn by Marcelle Fleming) got into
a tussle with the infamous Whitley
Wolf. When it was revealed that the
Wolf was in fact female, tempers
were cooled and hands were shook.
Sadly, the Magoos also lost, however this was rectified the following
Sunday with a stunning victory over
Queens.
Invite: Lost in the Mail?
Hello Upper East Siders! We hear
there was an intimate gathering involving cheese and wine last Friday
night - Invite only. Held outside the
Grant, Belcher and Denison residences, the guests conversed over
candlelight. Ghazi and Chambo
were spotted earlier that day at Vic
Markets purchasing le fromage.
Will this become a regular occurrence? We hope we get invited next
time...
Special Delivery
On Sunday night, Jared was pranked
in a most heinous fashion. Many
students received calls on their room
phones saying they had a package
at reception. They all trooped down
to retrieve said mail, reached for the
nook only to be stopped dead in
their tracks by a frustrated Jared. In
his words, “someone’s having a laugh xoxo Gossip Girl
mate”, but srsly, we love Jared. Not
Wendy Gone Wild...
cool guys.
Post-Play celebrations at Tsubu Bar
on Wednesday night saw many an
Ormondian in fine form. Students
studying in the ERC were slightly
perturbed by a passionate embrace
up against a window. Billy jokingly
thanked Tinkerbell for preventing
Peter smooching on his Wendy.
Back at Ormond, a boisterous party
discovered that the UCR had anticipated an unplanned Tower Party
and locked off proxy access. Well
played, Rahul. However the party
continued in John and Cool Rob’s
study, with beats such as ‘A Whole
New World’ and ‘Summer Lovin’
drawing babes from afar. Later that
night, a very confused Lost Boy insisted at 2AM that Eliza’s room was,
in fact, her own. Although this assertion was vigorously defended by
the aforementioned, eventually both
gave up and agreed to ‘squish’ and
share for the night. However, the
next morning was filled with much
confusion… Classic Gala night.
6
The Brack and the Bath Towel
...Or How I Broke My Hand Trying To Preserve Olivia Newton-John’s Honour
I remember sitting with a group
of friends in the JCR thirty years
ago. It was late at night and the
man in the now infamous Brack
painting looked down at us with a
weary wisdom. Conversation turned
to the fact that the Brack was a
valuable painting, and there it hung
uncovered, unprotected, and generally unremarked upon – witness
to Smokos, Reviews and sundry
other undignified events. One of
us – the only non-Ormondian there
– reached up with the intention of
scratching his initials into the oil
paint. We Ormondians remonstrated with him and he stopped, though
he was a little perplexed: my friends
and I didn’t have reputations for being “goody-goodies”, and our nonOrmondian companion was surprised that we acted so protectively.
Putting aside the senselessness of
damaging an important painting,
what really motivated us was simply that this was our Ormond, and
looking after it was a natural thing
for us to do.
Later that year I was woken early
one Sunday morning: “Leachie!
Wake up! A madman is trying to
break into Lizzie’s room.” I wrapped
a towel around my waist and ran to
second floor Picken C. Sure enough,
there was a man shouting and banging on Lizzie’s door. In retrospect, I
feel sorry for the man: he was clearly
very ill and wrestling with terrible
Rob Leach
inner demons. At the time, however,
it was confusing and quite scary. His
delivery, if largely incoherent, was
strangely Old Testament in tone,
and fragments of it remain with me
to this day: “I shall strike you down
and make you jump into the mulberry bush of death!” he shouted. He
had a handful of small sticks, which
apparently were his children, and
if we didn’t leave he would release
them: “And like a plague of crocusts
[yes, crocusts!] they will eat thy eyes
and forthwith ye shall be banished
into Satan’s fires.” It emerged, from
his ranting, that he thought Olivia
Newton-John was in the room and
he planned to take her away and do
terrible things to her, punishment
for her sins.
There was a group of us standing in
the corridor and we told the man
to leave. This only seemed to enrage
him more and he set about trying to
break down Lizzie’s door. I suggested, in my own biblical vernacular,
that he go forth, which proved to be
a mistake. “I’m getting her out! I’m
getting her out! And there’s not a
thing in damnation thy can do, Mr.
Bath-Towel!” He lunged towards me
and there was a short scuffle, after
which my companions restrained
him until the police arrived. Lizzie
was fine, a little shaken up, but glad
that so many friends had rallied
around when they thought she was
in trouble. Unfortunately, in the
confusion, my right hand was badly
broken.
My hand didn’t hurt straight away
– but getting it set by an impatient
intern, who didn’t believe my story
and who thought I’d been out fighting, caused me to utter some impassioned biblical references. No doubt
that Sunday morning could have
been more skillfully handled. And
though we saved the Brack that late
night in the JCR, it was lost to the
students club not that long after.
Thirty years ago my friends and I
were young, and dumb, and full of
enthusiasm. We made lots of mistakes, but we did try to look after
Ormond and we did try to look
after each other. And this is something I see today: Ormond students
supporting each other in sport and
drama, taking care of each other
at parties, working together when
planning events, and helping each
other with study. There is something
special about being part of a community where you live and work
together. By taking responsibility for
the college, by looking after other
Ormondians, we can engage in away
that is empowering, that provides a
sense of purpose and meaning – and
it’s often great fun too!
Got a Classic College
moment? We want to hear
about it...
[email protected]
SCR, Not Staff
If there is one factor that differentiates a true collegiate institution
from a residence hall or student dormitory, it is the presence of a thriving academic community. Without
educational purpose, we may as well
be another College Square; a collection of rooms used solely as living
space. Our college prospers by creating an environment for real conversations about issues that are relevant
and ideas both innovative and inspiring. Sustaining this environment
requires the input of everyone- not
just young students, but experienced
academics as well. At Ormond, this
is where the SCR step in, and we’re
lucky to have them take up this role.
The participation of distinguished
academics in our college enriches
our conversations and our community in ways that would not otherwise be possible. Our evenings are
enlivened by seminars and debates
on a broad range of topics, from
new scientific theories to questions
of ethical behaviour, most of which
are in some way related to the SCR.
And yet the influence of our academic fellows extends beyond the
occasional evening session or debate.
They can provide mentorship and
advice to students working in their
fields, or contacts in the wider
community. More subtly, their
presence contributes to an
academic atmosphere within
the college that pervades all
7
and academic fellows.
Editorial
aspects of Ormond life. It’s important that we not only have
the presence of the SCR at college,
but that we make the most of the
opportunities they afford. A saddening fact is that many conflate
the SCR with the college staff, and
are very unaware of the different
benefits each of these sectors of
Ormond provide. If we don’t know
the roles of the SCR members, how
can we understand the possibilities
they provide us as students
at University? The SCR
is a distinct
body within
the Ormond
community
made
up of
resident
tutors
Despite common misconceptions,
the SCR are not paid to be here.
They are also not automatically
members of the college staff*, and
pay residential fees just as we do. In
short: we have all equally chosen to
be part of the Ormond community.
Next time you’re at lunch and can’t
quite spot your friends in Hall,
don’t do the awkward servery-door
dance. Sit down next to one of our
academic fellows and strike up a
conversation. You might even make
a new friend.
*Editor’s note: some members of
the Senior Common Room are
also members of the college
administration, including Dr. Black, or
are employed as
tutors, and some
receive fellowships that
compensate
them for all or
part of their
residential
costs.
8
AskRob
Dear Cool Rob,
When I saw the call for GC applications, my heart leapt. In the
dead of night, I anxiously composed my application. As soon as
Thea opened reception, I slipped
my application in and scurried
back to my room.
When the applications were posted
in the Vesti the next day, I was
crushed. Up against my meagre
application was a stunning work of
art. I was up against a monolith
of Ormond manliness, the coolest of
the cool. Oh Rob, how can I begin
to describe to you what this man
means to the Student’s Club… He
Dearest Ghazi,
has been an illuminating figure, a
personal and collective beacon for
the entire Ormond Community.
With this work as Head of Construction for the Play, even the
freshers have been exposed to his
brilliant thunderstorm of tempestuous moods.
Rob, I really think I could do a
great job – my personality, experience and ideas all fit the job
description. But how can I even
dream of victory in the face of such
a resplendent creature?
Yours sincerely,
Kind of Hopeful
If your instant reaction to the
opening of this response was
“how did he know?!” then I’ll
spare you the mental sweat; I’m
pretty much psychic.
As if your evident triumph (if we
could really call it that) and my
‘loss’ (so many loose terms…) in
the GC elections didn’t already
have to be public enough, you’ve
found, to your delight a less than
humorous means to continue to
bask in your victory and revel in
my defeat amongst the pages of
the Ormondian. Note: For those
who are a little lost, please divert
your attention to the previous
opening paragraphs. Arrived?
Now children, let’s all hold hands
and play ‘Spot the exulting,
insincere sycophantism of a sore
winner’. Don’t fret if you can’t
spot it straight off, it’s arguably
as subtle as Lachlan Carter’s
absence from university tutorials.
I’ll admit that I was at first truly
devastated. The thought of your
satisfaction went down as well
as I imagined a cup of cold sick
doesn’t. Thank God I only had
to feel sorry for myself for like,
seven minutes BBMed the good
news and realized that I’d enjoy
watching you slave away on
seven Student Service shifts a
week for all the GC members
that you promised to cover in
exchange for a few extra ‘votes’.
Victory evidently does come at
9
a price, so I’m glad mine didn’t
cost my dignity and fourteen
hours behind a Bain-marie.
That’s just heinous.
I imagine this response might
be all coming off slightly harsher
than you have expected. The
thought of this thrills me. But seriously, I’m not bitter and twisted
about losing. Srzly. I’m not. And
I don’t want this coming off in
the way like I’m being a heinous
person, but sometimes I just cant
help but be a good friend.
So, let me tell you something
about Ghazi. We were best
friends in middle school. I know,
right? It’s so embarrassing. I
don’t even... whatever. So then
in eighth grade, I started going
out with my first boyfriend, Kyle,
who was totally gorgeous. But
then he moved to Indiana, and
Ghazi was like, weirdly jealous
of him. Like, if I would blow her
off to hang out with Kyle, he’d
be like “Why didn’t you call me
back?” And I’d be like “Why are
you so obsessed with me?” So
then, for my birthday party, which
was an all-girls pool party, I was
like “Ghazi, I can’t invite you
because I think you’re a lesbian.”
I mean, I couldn’t have a lesbian
at my party. There were going to
be be girls there in their bathing
suits. I mean, right? he was a
lesbian! So then his mom called
my mom and started yelling at
her, it was so retarded. And then
he dropped out of school because no one would talk to him,
and he came back in the fall for
high school, all of his hair was
cut off and he was totally weird,
and now I guess he’s on crack.
But Srzly,
no hard feelings...
S
l!
o
o
c
tay
Rob
send your questions to:
[email protected]
The Ormond College Students’
Club will be holding it’s second
General Meeting this comingWednesday, 17th of August.
All Special Resolutions and Motions on Notice are on display in
the JCR.
OMG!
It’s an
OGM!
If the AGM is anything to go by,
the OGM will surely be a night of
informative awesomeness as well
as 350 post long facebook threads.
Dress code: 70’s.
Don’t stress, it’ll be cute and
chiilled, we’ll cya there!
Attendance is compulsory for
members, and apologies must be
sent to the Secretary in the ‘M’
pigeon hole.
10
Attention!
11
12
Turned off Twilight – Why Buffy Beats Bella Any Day
Buffy, the Vampire Slayer is my new
role model. Fellow Gen Y members,
I have finally caught on to the phenomenon many of you would have
discovered thirteen years ago. In the
wake of this Twilight era in which
we now live, I’ve decided I much
prefer the Vampire girl of the 90s,
Buffy Summers, over Bella Swan.
Spending my last two years of high
school at an all girls school meant
enduring the overwhelming obsession my classmates had (and secretly
still do have) with the Twilight
series. I am ashamed to admit I was
swept up in the madness for a time.
I read the books, multiple times. I’ve
seen the films. I’ve googled shirtless
pictures of Taylor Lautner. I blame
Twilight fever – a very shameful disease to contract if one is no longer a
tween, but nevertheless it managed
to spread throughout my entire Year
12 class.
Now free from the confines of
schooling life, I spend my days
studying far more age-appropriate
books like those of Jane Austin and
Virginia Woolf. I’ve also studied the
works of feminist writers from Mary
Wollstonecraft to Gail Dines.
Buffy, to me, personifies that thirdwave feminism of the 90s they
called Girl Power. Back in the day,
pop stars like the Spice Girls taught
young girls, like myself, to own their
Alex Dworjanyn
personalities and be confident in
whatever type of girl they wanted to
be.
What stumps me is the fact that I
was deprived of Buffy the Vampire
Slayer’s awesome kick-ass-ness
as a child. My mother, very much
the undercover New Age hippie,
was extremely against a TV show
involving evil vampires, monsters
and witchcraft. It didn’t matter how
many of my friends were watching the show. She had a fair point,
I’ll confess, seeing as I was only six
years old when Buffy first aired.
Then again, it ended when I was in
my teens, at which point I was still
banned from watching. If only mum
could have taken the time to see –
she should have encouraged me to
watch the show, not ban me from it!
For me, the love for all things Buffy
was almost instantaneous. I was
recently in need of a 90s themed
costume for a party I was going to.
Stuck for ideas, I googled ‘90s TV
shows’. A scroll through the results
eventually presented me with an
image of Buffy – blonde, gorgeous,
dagger in hand. Intrigued, I gave
Buffy a sneaky Wikipedia search
and a quick Youtube stalk. I hurriedly got my hands on the first few
seasons.
My friends saw little of me in the
following weeks. Most respected my
need to remain in my room, encouraged me even. They knew I was
discovering something amazing, and
that no uni assignment, no lecture
and no pub night was as important
as watching the Buffy series for the
very first time.
Late one night, during my Buffyinduced hibernation, I lay in bed
reflecting on the differences between
Buffy Summers and Twilight’s Bella
Swan.
First, I thought of Buffy. Sixteen
years old, pretty, blonde – but don’t
forget; super strong, super confident
and capable of killing a vampire
with a quick stake to the heart and
a witty one-liner. She is confident,
loving and not afraid to be herself.
13
She’s also completely independent
and in control when it comes to
her relationship with her vampire
boyfriend Angel.
Then I considered Bella – awkward,
self-deprecating, utterly dependent and fragile. She is antisocial,
and treats her friends like crap. Her
self-assigned destiny is to be with
her true love, Edward, forever. That’s
it. No other ambitions whatsoever.
Buffy’s is to save the world from evil
until the day she dies. Bella is the
victim and Buffy is the hero.
Spotted... In the Vesti
These very
stylish Ormondians
gave us the lowdown
on all things personal panache. Take inspiration!
Jess Denison Libby Bakonyi Dan Candy
A great sense of grief and sorrow
washed over me; sorrow for the
young girls stuck with Bella Swan as
their role model.
The influence of the Twilight series
cannot be denied. It is true that
many are only interested in the films
due to the incessant need of the
male leads to remove their shirts.
But this thing is a phenomenon
– young girls are obsessing over
every detail of the books and films.
Including the ‘ordinary girl’ protagonist whom they are all supposed to
relate to.
What they’re obsessing over is
a twisted relationship between a
personality-less damsel in distress
and her controlling and overprotective life’s obsession. The girl cares
about nothing but her ‘perfect’ man,
sacrificing her entire life, including
her education and her friends, to be
with him. Hopelessly romantic? I
say tragic.
The Ormondian: What do you have Georgie Savage: Libby, you’re supon tonight?
posed to make it funny.
Deni: It’s my girls night out
Libby: I can’t be bothered to make
outfit- ‘cute and comfy’ :).
it funny.
The Ormondian: Libby, why are you
wearing a beanie tonight?
Libby: Because it’s fucking freezing
outside.
The Ormondian: Looking good
there Mr. Candy ;)
Dan: I’m breaking down social
norms with my outfit!
14
Trivia Night
The Results ...
What happens when you take 300
of the brightest young minds in the
state, lock them in a room and ask them a
whole lot of hard questions?
Apparently, not much.
Welcome to Trivia: The Results…
Question 6
Name the ghost that appears to Macbeth at the banquet of the King…
Question 12
What is the key ingredient in Mock
Turtle Soup?
Fantasia: Banquo, mofo
Question 3
What sort of a berry is crossed with a
Loganberry to produce Boysenberry?
Cal Wood: Casper (lol)
Fantasia: Rufus Black’s
skinnay bitch DawG
Leprechauns:
European Raspberry
Question 7
Which Australian swimmer recently
won the men’s 100m freestyle at the
World Championships in Shanghai?
Trivial Pur-Suits: Blueberry Blackberry Raspberry + Blackberry
Sick Kents: Halle Berry
Fantasia: Blackberry/Denny
(as in Logan Denny… we’re
SAH witty)
Sleep Over Club: The ghost
Sick Kents: Emma Chambers
Team Alastair: Tim Parrott!
Pirates III: Jellet’s Retribution:
Cadel Evans LOL
Beer…Far…Whereever You Are:
Tofu
Wingardium Trivioosa:
3 ½ dodos
James Pilbrow:
Ninja Turtles (baby)
15
Babymondian!
Large amounts of
alcohol didn’t deter
detective Ormondians from some tough
photo evidence- this
cheeky face led no
team astray…
Question 13
Name the 2 players in this image…
Pirates III: Jellet’s
Retribution: Chris Judd +
Dumbledore (levicorpus)
Test Toppers 2.0: Moose
& Zambon
Team Nishita: Cal Gordon
and Austin VG
…or maybe not? The
name of this cutie
eluded most teams.
(Hint: when you
cross out the right
answer and guess a
second time, you totally don’t get a tick
you know.)
16
Eva
ithsc
Wu
her
t
e
D
We’re airing out the best mansions... er, rooms on the
crescent. Think yours has what it takes? Contact
[email protected]!
The wallpaper she
found from Big W and
spent all night figuring
out where each square
was best placed!
Eva has a ‘no studying in room’
policy, it’s only for chilling.
Gold bird ornament:
A present from her
grandmother.
Husky toy:
A present from
her parents to
substitute the
real dog Eva
wanted.
Motivational posters:
With triumphant Olympians stories.
The jewellery
collection that
Eva has a ‘love
affair’ with...
Eva bargained
for her rug in an
Indian market.
Gold
lantern:
From
Singapore.
Mood
lamp:
From big
brother
Pete.
17
18
Horoscopes
by Phoenix Stars
Your relationship may
feel dry and Perched
without any real lovEm’.
When attending skolls,
don’t sit opposite the
a-Tom-ic vom, it may
explode at anytime.
Watch your drinks this
week, You wouldn’t
want to Dav your drink
spiked with Eccies.
Don’t wear your
Amani suit out in
Lorrain, it will get wet.
When playing golf this
week, you may find two
balls in the cup.
Look out for Peter Pan
and Tinkerbell, the have
been seen Wondering
around lately.
As Alex the Great said,
“The grass is Greener on
the otherside, but have
you Scott the balls to go”.
Wait a Minnett, where’s
Carter? He’s at it again.
You may be burnt to
Smith-erines this week,
but like a Pheonix you
will rise from the ashes.
Henry is on the prowl, I
don’t think Hanny-body
can stop him..
You need a froffy, a
froffy, a froffy is all you
need. Hey Hey.
Chin up, you Will be a
Brid(i)e one day.
Overheard
“Wait..isn’t Ghazi already on the GC?”
- Annie Belcher
“Anna, we talked about sacrifice.
For you, it might have to be food”
- Blake to his Tinkerbell.
“You went to town on my expectations”
-Alex Mathews, to Lauren Flint, when she
brought out something from the kitchen.
“Oh my god she’s so dead”
- Laura Berthold,
discussing the late Amy Winehouse.
“I think I’ll be good at tackling,
it’s like sharing food at Christmas”
- Row Baer
Blake - “But WHY can’t we have pitchblack on stage...”
Cool Rob (vein-popping in forehead) “Because the ACTORS need to see too!!!”
Ruth - “ It’s sad, the cookie monster can’t
eat cookies anymore.”
Jessie - “Oh really...is he diabetic?”
“Let’s just not tell Rob about that...”
- Each and every Peter Pan crew member.
“I just want to spend my life making cat
videos for Youtube. But I don’t have a video
camera. Or a cat.”
- Loraine, post-Turf.
“I don’t really like chocolate. I like my ice
cream like how I like people... white”
- Khalid
“Why don’t I ever end up in the overheards?! I say such funny things!”
- Georgia Brough
Blake - ‘‘Oooh solder!’’
“BLAKE DON’T TOUCH THAT!”
- Entire construction crew.
“You and I don’t have to resist porking
other dudes!”
- John Ryan to Cool Rob
“I don’t have the neck for top buttons”
- L. Borthwick
“Yay, an opportunity to pee on
Uni property!”
- Will Scott
“Fun is overrated.” - Cool Rob
“That’s hard!” - Naomi Read
19
Forest Trivia
Wondering what happened to those questions you missed out on at Trivia Night?
Wonder no more! Sharpen your pencils kids it’s time for Trivia Rejects!
Trivia Rejects
Quick Fire Round 2:
1. Who wrote the Golden
Goose? BROS. GRIMM or AESOP?
2. Which is the only planet to
rotate clockwise? MARS or VENUS?
3. How many cameos has Miley
Cyrus done for the TV series
Community? ONE or NONE?
4. Is Faroe a breed of PUPPY or
PONY?
5. Was Josef Stalin TALLER
or SHORTER than Winston
Churchill?
6. Where is a sandshrew found;
Pokemon RED or BLUE?
7. Canaletto - PAINTER or
PASTA?
8. Where was Karl Marx buried?
LONDON or PARIS?
9. In the band Coldplay, does
Will Champion play GUITAR or
DRUMS?
10. Who has had malaria;
George CLOONEY or Barbra
STREISAND?
Star Wars Nerd Challenge:
By Nick Taylor
Garfield WIthout Garfield
1. What is Yoda’s home planet?
2. What is the surname of Luke’s
surrogate parents?
3. Of whom are the stormtroopers clones?
4. Name Chewbacca’s father.
5. Who commanded the Imperial
invasion of the Battle of Hoth &
how did he die?
6. How many minutes does A
New Hope go for?
7. Which Star Wars actor or
actress can now be likened to
Jabba the Hutt?
8. Name the lizard-like creature ridden by stormtroopers on
Tatooine
9. What day of the year is Star
Wars day?
ANSWERS:
1. What are the names of the 9 members of the weasley family?
2. How many knuts in a galleon?
3. Malfoy’s wand: how long and containing which magical substance?
4. In the triwizard tournament maze,
what spell does Harry use to defeat the
blast-ended skrewt?
5. What is the password used to enter
the Gryffindor common-room in the
third book up until the attack by Sirius
Black?
6. What is Profesor Dumbledor’s full
name?
7. What do you need to say to get
into the secret passage to Hogsmede
guarded by the one-eyed witch?
8. At what address to the Black family
live?
9. In Harry Potter and the Halfblood
Prince, Profesor Slughorn asks the
class to prepare a draught of Living
Death,
a. What effect does the potion have?
b. For a bonus mark, name one or
more of the 5 ingredients required for
the potion:
10. Name four kinds of candies sold in
Honeydukes.
STAR WARS: 1. Grentarik 2. Lars 3. Jango Fett
4. Attichitcuk 5. Admiral Ozzel (choked to death
by an angry Vader) 6.One hundred and twentyone minutes 7. Carrie Fisher 8. Dewbacks 9 May
Fourth (May the force be with you)
HARRY POTTER: 1. Arthur, Molly, Bill, Charlie, Percy, Fred, George, Ron, Ginny 2. Four
Hundred and Ninety Three 3. Ten inches, unicorn
hair core 4. The impediment jinx 5. Fortuna Major
6. Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore 7.
dissendium 8. Number Twelve, Grimauld place.
9. a) a (deathly) slumber/sleep b) wormwood, asphodel, valerian roots, Sloth brain, and the juice
of a sopophorous bean 10. Bertie Bott’s Every
Flavour Beans, Chocolate Frogs, Coconut Ice,
Ice Mice, Fizzing Whizbees, Pepper Imps, Sugar
Quills, Cockroach Clusters, self-flossing mints,
blood flavored lollipops
QUICK FIRE ROUND: 1. Bros. Grimm 2. Venus
3. None 4.Pony 5. Taller 6. Blue 7. Painter 8.
London 9. Drums 10. Clooney
Harry Potter Nerd Challenge:
By Charlotte Grover-Johnson
Contact the Ormondian at
[email protected]
© 2011 OCSC