An Evening of Humanity Charity Week 2006

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An Evening of Humanity
BY CHRIS MCDONALD
For a man who had witnessed the
brutal slaughter of thousands upon thousands of innocent children, women and
men, his joviality and humorous banter
truly caught me off guard. His unassuming stature, clad in business attire and
looking more like a diplomat than a
military commander, was completely at
odds with the role he had played as the
commander of the United Nations Assistance Mission for Rwanda Rwanda
from 1993-1994. In one three month
period, during his peacekeeping mission, nearly 800,000 Rwandans were
murdered in a genocide the rest of world
refused to acknowledge.
On September 14, Lt. General (ret.)
Romeo Dallaire came to Memphis to
speak to what had been anticipated to
be a moderately enthusiastic audience,
and instead took the stage in front of a
standing-room only crowd of over 900
people at the University of Memphis’s
Rose Auditorium. What was striking
was not only the energy and concern in
the room, but the diversity and youth
of the crowd that had come to learn
from Dallaire’s experience in hopes of
preventing such human right’s crises
from ever happening again.
The excitement was palpable, as a
man, who helplessly stood by and
watched history unfold as a nation imploded, charged the attentive audience
with a mandate to ensure the same not
happen again “on their watch.”
Titled, “The New World Disorder,”
Dallaire’s presentation explored the
roots of genocide and the reasons for
the state of international affairs today.
The Lt. General stated, “The violence
against humanity is not the result of
technology; it is the result of the simplest and the deadliest of weapons –
ideas. Those are the most dangerous
tools of hate.” Dallaire said that the failure he saw in Rwanda was not merely
the fault of the Rwandans who devised
the plan, but also the failure of the world
to react. And that, said the Lt. General,
is precisely what is happening again in
the world today, in the Darfur region of
Sudan. “If we do not [respond] are we
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Charity Week 2006
BY STEVEN THOMPSON
Last spring, when we were
strategizing for the following year, we
decided that our main goal for Civic
Service Organization would be to put a
strong emphasis on hands on service.
When considering how we would employ this strategy, we decided that moving charity week from its traditional
week in February to early in the year
would present the new face of Civic
Service to the student body. Another
way in which we are trying to encourage hands on service is the restructuring of our executive system. We have
assigned each executive to different
charitable organizations. Within this system, each executive is responsible for
planning at least three projects each
semester. This plan will ensure almost
every Saturday MUS students will have
an opportunity to give a helping hand
almost every Saturday.
Charity Week was the kickoff and
coming-out-party of the new Civic Service. We set huge, almost unattainable
goals for last week: 5000 cans for the
can drive, 3000 dollars for Lester Community Center, and 312 pints of blood
for our blood drive. We met our goals
of 5000 cans and 3000 dollars from
our Charity Fair and did very well in
the blood drive. My main goal for the
week, however, was to get every single
upper school student to sign up to do a
service project, and in this regard, we
were most successful. Last week in the
department of service, we had two
groups go to Lester community center,
one clean a building owned by SOS,
one group tutor children from the
Emmanuel Center, and another play with
those same children at our own football game. In addition, we had nearly
every single school organization sign up
to do a project, and when it all came to
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Editors-in-Chief
Chris McDonald
Jonathan Yeung
Associate Editor
Ferrell Varner
Technical/Layout
Editor
Roger Chu
Cartoonists
Parker Joyner
William Lang
Clement Oigbokie
News Editors
Byron Tyler
Asst. Michael Stein
Viewpoints Editors
Peter Travis
Asst. Asad Dilawari
Sports Editors
Teddy Klug
Asst. Owen Mercer
Amusements Editors
Wilson Castleman
Asst. Alexander Fones
Columnists
Morgan Arant
Blake Cowan
Andrew Jehl
Nathaniel Kastan
Will Mays
Dev Varma
Business Manager
Neely Mallory
Faculty Advisor
Mr. N. Thompson
HUMANITY
FROM PAGE 1
saying that these people are not as human as those in the nations in which we
do respond?”
Dallaire startled the audience by
stating that, “80% of humanity is deeper
in the mud, the blood, and the suffering
of indignity.” The world is smaller than
ever before, Dallaire said, and our attention has riveted on the images we
see on the internet and TV. But what,
he asked the audience, are we doing
about it?
It is easy to wait for governments to
react, but it is precisely this inaction and
passivity that doomed Rwanda and will
doom our generation to repeat the mistakes of the past. Said Dallaire to the
mostly high school and college-age,
who responded through the evening with
spontaneous bursts of applause, “I’m
about the youth – they are the leaders
of the future. I challenge [you] to become activists. [You] are the one who
can apply what we are learning… You
must be the expression of humanity…
[for] in this era we have priotized humanity. [But] no human is more human
than any other. We have no right to
abandon humans.”
Calling upon countries leadership to
become statesmanship, Dallaire ended
the evening stating, “I firmly believe
humanity can solve its conflicts because
that is what humanity wants, to live in
peace and harmony. It could take centuries, but if we don’t start today, it will
take even longer.”
CHARITY WEEK 2006
CONTINUED FROM PAGE 1
an end, almost every single upper
school student was committed to at least
one service project. Last week was one
of the most successful Charity Weeks
that I can remember, and I can only
hope that this will kick off one of the
most successful years Civic Service has
ever seen.
Above: Miles DeBardeleben
coaxes a squealing pig to run
Below: Only the Civic Service
President gets such a privilege
Above: Lower School Students
joust in the Dining Hall
Below: Mr. Clifft taunts the
athletes as they continually miss
Let Your Voice Be Heard
BY CHRIS MCDONALD
With strategic November 7th elections fast-approaching, seniors who
will be 18 years of age or older by
Election Day are eligible to register
to cast their first ballots. Voter registration may be done in person or by
mail, but must be received or
postmarked no more than thirty
(30) days before the election. The
deadline for registering for this
year elections is October 7th.
To register by mail: Print out a
form off the Internet at http://
www.state.tn.us/sos/election/
register.htm and follow mailing instructions. Or, obtain forms at post
offices, election commission offices,
and other public official’s offices.
To register in person: Go to the
Department of Safety (motor vehicle
division), public libraries, the county
clerk’s offices, the county election
commission office, and the Department of Veteran’s Affairs, among
other locations listed at the above
web site.
Don’t miss the opportunity to let
your voice be heard. Register to vote.
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Our True Stadium Arcadium
BY BYRON TYLER
Eagerly cruising along Ridgeway
to see my first home game this year, I
glanced out my window just in time
to see something noticeably different
from the usual Friday night-lights.
From afar, I could see the vast size
of the stadium rising above the
Ridgeway tree line that once covered
the recently retired (nearly) fifty-yearold box-office. Making my way onto
campus and spending way too much
time looking for a parking spot, I then
arrived at the gate opening to the
cheering crowds, and gazing upward,
I was filled with a slight feeling of awe
at the sheer size of the thing. Okay,
so it wasn’t so much that the stadium
was ridiculously huge or anything, but
it was simply the fact that this stadium actually belonged to a high
school. I was impressed so far.
Still looking stupidly up at the
height of the stadium, I started to notice that I was no longer walking on
pavement. A large clump of sand had
gotten into my shoe, and I realized
After a $4.5 million face lift, the “Frozen Tundra” that is our
beloved Hull Dobbs Athletic Field is so fresh and so clean
that the walking space was somewhat
limited due to the random patches of
sand here and there. That was quite
annoying for the rest of the night, but
I kept on, drawn toward the loud
echoes from the other side of the stadium where apparently the pre-fantunnel rally was taking place. As I
approached the mob, I could defi-
nitely hear the difference in rowdiness
before and during the fan-tunnels as
compared to last year. The shouting
resounded throughout the underpass
much more fluidly, and certainly the
beating of the drums helped.
I made it onto the actual seated
stadium, where I immediately took the
opportunity to sit up at the top. The
view was splendid; it was an MUS
football perspective from which I had
never seen before. What made the experience even better was that I could
sit down and lean back while I
watched. The backrests were surely
a pleasing convenience. However, I
battled complacency and soon found
a spot amidst the rough mob of the
student section. Overall, the students
seemed to be high in spirit, just as in
years past, although there have been
some certain tensions concerning senior leadership of the student
rowdiness. I enjoyed the fact that I
could move around the concrete stadium safely without having to worry
about falling on top of someone,
though I do miss the thunderous
clanking of the old bleachers.
Besides the fact that the construction wasn’t complete, the opening of
the new stadium and the start of the
2006 football season was a reasonable success. The future looks promising for both the new stadium and
the MUS football team.
Quiz Bowlin’ A Strike!
BY JONATHAN YEUNG
Certainly, you’ve heard it somewhere in the announcements during
Monday chapel, or in one of Mr.
Haguewood’s morning addresses:
“Quiz Bowl practice this Wednesday
after school, and Friday during seventh,” or something along those lines.
Even with these frequent, mundane
messages, this club has never really
drawn much attention. But recently, it
has, literally, come to the center stage.
When the club was started back in
the day by one Shashank Karri (you
may remember him as the Indian guy
who made rather ineloquent chapel announcements), there were barely
enough members to form a team at all.
The club, which encompasses Knowl-
edge Masters, Quiz Bowl, and Knowledge Bowl, started to blossom only
when last year, we were accepted into
the Knowledge Bowl tournament, sponsored by News Channel 3. Since then,
at least a dozen new students, and two
faculty advisors have joined to contribute whatever random bits of knowledge
that they had.
Despite a first round loss to powerhouse White Station, the knowledge
bowl team is looking to rebound this
year. The team, eyeing potential scholarship money that is awarded with each
victory, is practicing hard to advance
farther into the tournament. Meanwhile,
the quiz bowl team has picked up two,
second place finishes in the last three
tournaments, and is looking to add
more hardware to complement those
gleaming football trophies.
But really, what goes on in this club?
Is it merely an assembly of nerds who
think 30-minute-afterschool math competitions are fun? In some ways, yes,
that statement is true (or at least one of
them does). Wednesday Chapel was
a pretty good representation of what
we do twice every week; in case you
missed it, quiz bowl is pretty much two
teams, armed with buzzers, duking it
out on the intellectual battlefield for the
ultimate satisfaction of being able to say
that you are smarter than your opponent. Though not as glorious as the
description suggests, quiz bowl is a
good way for students to demonstrate
their knowledge that they have acquired
both in and out of the classroom.
With Mr. Shaw and Mr. Perkins
joining Coach Clifft as faculty advisors,
the team is optimistic about this coming
year. Look for the team on Saturday
mornings on News Channel 3 later this
year. If you have any interest at all,
practice is Wednesdays after school and
Fridays during seventh, as all of you I’m
sure have already heard before.
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Facebook: Big Brother With A Smile!
B Y D EV V ARMA
As you all know by now, THE
SCHOOL BLOCKED FACEBOOK.
My answer, as I know you’ve been
waiting on for quite sometime, is,
well… “SWEET!!” “Why would
you blaspheme, Dev?” you ask.
Well, there is mainly one reason: in
its attempts to connect people I
think it keeps people from actually
knowing each other. Oh yes, it
does tell me every single band that
you have ever listened to. But, my
dear afflicted friend, does that tell
me who you are? Does that tell me
what kind of personality you have?
I don’t think so. Another thing that
perturbs me about Facebook is its
ability, like nicotine, to cause addiction. We’ve all had those nights
when we spend hours on Facebook
(or even its bucktoothed cousin
Myspace) instead of doing some-
thing more important like, I don’t
know, learning. Another flaw that
goes along with this sense of self is
the friends list, which seem to be
ridiculously humongous. It’s hard
for me to imagine that you would
call hundreds of random people
your friends and it’s even harder for
me to see you hanging out with all
these “people you know.”
One other thing that I loathe is
Facebook’s canny ability to make
conversation totally impersonal
(read uncommitted). No longer do
you have to actually talk to someone to find out something but you
can just type it in an attempt to be
both cute and curious at the same
time. A corollary to this would include the fact that you now longer
have to actually call a girl to “hook
up” with her. Now with Facebook,
a date on Friday night is not but a
few keystrokes away.
No longer are telescopes required to stalk others
Facebook has basically cut
down the amount of work you have
to do “have a life.” On it, you can
list your favorite bands, pastimes,
and quotes (most of which come
from friends anyway). You can
make what used to be an agonizing
ordeal, asking someone out, into a
quick and uncommitted attempt at
g e t t i n g w i t h a c h i c k . Wi t h
Facebook, you can find who a per-
son is without ever talking to them
or seeing them (well, except for the
millions of pictures that you waste
time looking at and the cute graffiti
you use to communicate). All of
t h e s e t r a i t s , y o u s a y, m a k e
Facebook great. But I say these elements of Facebook take the humanity out of actually meeting
people.
World Trade Centers and that the Pentagon was hit by something other than the
claimed Boeing 757 (a proposed missile
or smaller craft.)
At first glance this sounds ridiculous,
right? Nobody in his right mind could ever
believe this. Sadly, this is not true. In a
July 2006 Scripps Howard poll, 16% of
the polled said it was “very likely” that
federal officials assisted in the 9/11 attacks while another 20% said it was
“somewhat likely.”
One may think while reading this that
these people must be crazy to believe this,
but the argument put forth by the movie is
very compelling.Avery uses trick cinematography and paces the movie so that it
seems like it’s being told by a credible
source. The movie appears to be scholarly with its plethora of facts and quotes,
while in reality these facts are grounded
in faulty sources and an abundance of
misquoted statements.
This movie is important not because it
is simply stating that the government attacked our citizens, but because people
believe it. Many are not willing to take
in both sides of the argument that is dangerous for the representative democracy of America. This is a detrimental
phenomenon of inattentiveness to facts
and of taking something at face value
without questioning it. One may say that
the anti-conspiracy sources are taken
without question, but this is simply not
true. There were over 3,000 independent sources in the 9/11 Commission
Report including governmental and private sources.
The truth will prevail in this dangerous situation, but it will take some hard
work. In the information age there are
facts supporting anything, but one must
know when a source is reliable or not.
Hopefully this situation concerns every American citizen, seeing as it is a
scary example of blind faith corrupting
the truth.
Loose Change Strikes Again
BY FERRELL VARNER
Last week, the Internet documentary
sensation Loose Change: Second Edition found its way into theaters. Though
it was only a specialized showing, it was
a big step for the independent filmmaker
DylanAvery.
Made with a mere $6,000, the Internet
based movie became famous through
word of mouth. It spread rapidly and
soon it had enough credit to be mentioned
by big name magazines such as Popular
Mechanics, Time, and US News and
World Report.
The movie itself started as a fiction
piece in whichAvery and his friends found
out that the government had executed the
9/11 attacks on its own citizens. Slowly
Avery and his friends began to realize that
this may be more than fiction and decided
to turn their film into a documentary.
The film’s primary arguments are that
the U.S Government demolished the
Photo Courtesy of theglobeandmail.com
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Student Council Success
BY ROBERT DUFFLEY
Not many recent Student Councils come to my mind as having been
exceptional in their activities held.
Let’s face it, after the now-annual
Dodge Ball Tournament, Student
Council activities become a rarity until
it’s time for homecoming. Of course,
last year the Student Council did attempt to invoke a change in this trend
through their institution of the houses
system, though after the field day before fall break no other house activities were held. As a whole, past Student Council performance has been
ordinarily at best; ordinary, at least,
in comparison with what this year will
be like. This year will be remembered,
because this year’s council, under the
leadership of President Preston
Battle, is determined to make its mark
in the collective memory of MUS.
The Student Council this year plans
to hold innovative activities while
making customary events like homecoming exceptional.
Already we have seen several new
activities. The Student Council was
ready at the very beginning of the
school year. In the first Monday
chapel, a humorous video telling students how to become involved was
presented. In the video, Sisco Larson
and Blake Cowan had their “shades
on” as they detailed various clubs
while encouraging students to get involved. A few weeks into the year the
student body experienced “Island
Fever Day.” Student Council reps
and students wore Hawaiian shirts,
and luau-themed games were held
during O.P. Perhaps, however, the
most original and enjoyable event so
far this year has been “Twinkie Day.”
Everyone enjoyed watching contestants from the upper school run dizzily through the amphitheater, consuming vast amounts of twinkies and
milk, not all of which stayed in the
contestants’ stomachs for long. Most
recently, the Student Council held the
Dodge Ball Tournament, which went
off without a hitch. The gym was
packed with enthusiastic students as
the “Baseballers” wrenched victory
from the hands of the “Crimson
Spew” team. Other teams in the tournament included “UPS”, the “Sewer
Kittens”, and the “Fertility Vases of
the Mombosa Tribe.”
This year’s Council will not fall
into complacency after the usual rush
of activities associated with the beginning of the school year. Although
reps are not allowed to give any specifics on upcoming activities, I have
been assured that more activities are
on the way and that Homecoming
week will be “amazing.”
What Grinds My Gears
BY THOMAS MCINTIRE
The MUS experience is superb. The
teachers are willing to go out of their
way to make sure you understand the
material, the facilities are state of the
art (or being built that way), and the
freedom we experience as students is
unparalleled. But it’s the little things
during the day that really get to me. You
know what I’m talking about; it’s the
way certain people do certain things,
or just those little inconveniences that
shouldn’t exist that really grind my
gears.
I’ve got great examples. Have you
ever been walking through the courtyard to math class and realized that one
of the doors entering the freshman hall
doesn’t open? From the outside it is
actually impossible to open the door,
and from the inside you have to crouch
down and lift the bar connected to the
lock. That can’t be too hard to fix, yet
it’s still a problem that most people have
just learned to deal with. But it’s hard
to deal with when another problem exists; why do freshmen always walk on
the wrong side of the hallway or stairway? Seriously, it’s pretty annoying
when you’re in a rush between classes
and two or three freshmen are walking
up both sides of the stairs, and you have
to either wait or bust through them. And
then, when you’re sprinting to make it
on time to a science class, the ultimate
temptation arises: you could either walk
around the grass or cut straight through.
This dilemma shouldn’t even exist. It
would cost about $15 to buy enough
stepping-stones to create a delightful
little path, so we could cross and not
get in trouble. And then there’s the
killer—the problem that arises because
a select few ruin something for everyone else; we’re not allowed to sit in the
hallway and study because too many
people were making noise. You might
think I’m complaining too much, but
next time something just ticks you off,
don’t come crying to me. I’m already
crying to you.
This Month in Review
September has come and gone, and still the stadium is not yet
done.
-2
Civic Service Fair Day: Grizzlies Dance Team, Clifft in the
Dunk Tank, Slam-Dunk Contest! Sure, the pigs wouldn’t run,
but we did get to see Jim Benton, Haynes Vaughn, and Miles
DeBardeleben wrestle a greased-up Ben Jordan!
+3
To cries of “I believe,” Jeffrey Wright scores his first varsity
touchdown!!
+3
St. Mary’s gets to enjoy freshman initiation and we don’t?!
Come on Mr. Haguewood… what’s up with that?!
-2
Beg to Differ had the opportunity to sing to the Commander in
Chief himself!
+2
Less than 50% of the articles assigned were actually turned in!
-2
The Mid-South Fair: Celebrating 150 years of games, rides,
and deep-fried twinkies!
+1
Grand Total for September:
+3
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Why Not Just Give Up Now?
complete this grand new multi-sports
complex. This stadium is incredible: it
simply towers over the field and the visitors’ seats; the skybox is huge; and our
comfortable new bleachers don’t violate Tennessee safety standards.
Shouldn’t we just sit back and relax?
Shouldn’t we simply enjoy the view
from our elevated seats as back-toback state champions?
And speaking of back-to-back,
don’t you think that’s enough? Who
wants a third state championship anyway? I think we should give someone
else a chance. ECS has a pretty good
fan section, right? They come up with
some pretty good cheers, and they do
our I Believe really well, don’t you
think? Maybe it would be best if we
just let them take our place as the best
high school fans in the country.
Not to say that everyone in the
school is as far behind the times as I
am. As I foolishly jumped up and down
screaming in the close loss to Baylor, I
was relieved to look back and see most
of the freshman and sophomore classes
simply taking it easy, as obviously demented girls with war paint on their face
actually cheered on our players. What
were those girls thinking, rooting for our
team like that? At least some people
around here are wise enough to quit
when the going gets tough. Just imagine what could happen if the rest of us
would simply follow their lead.
NCAA Football Action
BY BRAD RINGEL
It’s that time again: when tail-gate
parties arise in the afternoon, when
school fight songs dominate the air for
the home team, and when team leaders
become legends. It’s that time when
games turn into upsets and perhaps
become the most important thing in a
fan’s life… it’s college football season.
The highest ranked schools had
BY ANDREW JEHL
easy, warm up games in week one. But
two games that weren’t so easy were
As I’m sure all of you realize, the
No. 23 Tennessee vs. No. 9 CaliforMUS football team is not performing
nia, ESPN expert Lee Corso’s pick to
particularly well right now. The team fell
win the national championship, and No.
to .500 after a very disappointing loss
11 Florida State vs. No. 12 Miami.
on the road to the ECS Eagles, and a
Although Tennessee came off a disapheartbreaker to the Baylor School Red
pointing season with a record of 5-6,
Raiders dropped our record to 2-3.
they were expected to redeem their terThe Owls did lay waste to a weak
rible season. With help from the crowd
Northside team last Friday to boost the
and their quickness on offense, Tennesrecord back up to 3-3, but with times
see defeated California 35-18. “The
not quite as good as recent seasons
environment they create gives Tennespast, it is clear that the support of the
see a real home field advantage,” said
student body is beginning to dwindle.
California coach Jeff Tedford about the
Well, it is kind of difficult to cheer
home crowd. Within the ACC, Florida
when your team isn’t doing so well.
State defeated Miami 13-10, coming
Who wants to be the fan of a losing
back from a 10-0 deficit by holding
team anyway? I guess we should just
Miami to only 17 yards in the second
give it up.
half.
Come on. We’ve lost three games:
In week two No. 1 Ohio State got
our season is over. There is absolutely
revenge
for last year’s loss to Texas,
no way that we could get our act todefeating the No. 2 Longhorns in the
gether now and make a good run into
earliest ever No. 1-2 match-up. Led
the playoffs. Clearly, our situation is
by Heisman Trophy candidate quarterhopeless. Plus, we are just about to
back Troy Smith’s 269 passing yards,
Ohio State demolished Texas 24-7.
“Separation Saturday” came the
next week with seven top twenty-five
match-ups, the most in one week since
the 1993 season. No. 11 Michigan,
which had a disappointing season last
year of 7-5, defeated Heisman hopeful
Brady Quinn and No. 2 Notre Dame
47-21, led by Michigan’s wide out
Mario Manningham with three touchdowns. But Michigan’s quick defense
contributed causing 4 turnovers (3 interceptions from Brady Quinn). “With
as many mistakes as we made as a
Our dearest cheerleaders attempting in vain to excite the students
team, I don’t think anybody would have
Photo courtesy of cnnsi.com
Ohio State’s Troy Smith
overcome that,” said Quinn. Also, No.
3 Auburn defeated No. 6 LSU 7-3 in a
defensive game, stopping LSU a few
yards from the goal line as time expired.
And although Tennessee beat Cal impressively in its first game, the Vols lost
to Florida for the second straight time
in Knoxville on Dallas Baker’s touchdown catch in the middle of the fourth
quarter. Other notable results consisted
of Louisville defeating Miami, Oregon
defeating Oklahoma with a last second
blocked field goal, USC defeating Nebraska, and TCU defeating Texas
Tech.
So, who could possibly win the national championship or the Heisman
Trophy? West Virgina’s running back
Steve Slayton is off to an outstanding
start with 503 rushing yards and six
touchdowns. Also, Ohio State’s Troy
Smith does well under pressure and has
maintained consistent passing statistics
so far. And as for the national championship, Auburn and Ohio State look to
the leading contenders. Ohio State
maintains their No. 1 ranking in the nation after their victory over Texas. And
Auburn has established a leading position in the SEC with their win over LSU,
but whether they can remain undefeated
with their tough SEC schedule remains
questionable. This season looks to unpredictable with all of the upsets that
have occurred during the first three
weeks.
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The Manning vs. Manning Bowl
BY KIMBROUGH TAYLOR
Though it has been talked of so much
in the past week, I thought I should
share my opinion on the “Manning
Bowl.” Peyton Manning’s Colts and Eli
Manning’s Giants met for the first time
since both brothers have been in the
league, on Sunday September 10,
2006. The game received so much hype
that commercials were made by other
companies to advertise it. (See Eli
Manning’s Bank commercial proving
the Mannings are simply not actors.) A
Madden 2007 (EA Sports) commercial was even made to commemorate
the occasion. And all this hype did not
go to waste as the Giants and Colts
played an excellent and hard-fought
battle.
The Mannings grew up with football, as father Archie is a Former ProBowl QB for the New Orleans Saints.
Photo Courtesy of cnnsi.com
Archie had three sons to whom he
passed on his love of the game. Cooper, the oldest, has been called the most
talented of the three. Cooper was a
wide receiver in high school, and played
one year at Ole Miss (Archie’s alma
mater), only to find that he had a spinal
disease which would keep him out of
football for good. Peyton, the middleManning, was the first second generation Manning to play QB. Peyton went
to the University of Tennessee where
he established many records that are
still held today at the school. Peyton
was drafted by the Colts, and is now in
Meet Steven Thompson
BY TEDDY KLUG
What is your overall view of
the Football season?
I think we have survived the meat
of one of the nation’s toughest schedules with only one league loss and a
bright outlook with CBHS,
Briarcrest, and Brentwood.
What are your thoughts on the
overall fan support?
Fan Support is getting better. We
started a little slow, but we are seeing improvement. We need to get
even nastier with our big trip to Nashville on the Horizon.
What do you do to get pumped
up before the football game?
Usually I go for a pregame meal.
Our tradition before home games is
Memphis Pizza Café. Then, as I’m
rolling into the stadium, I bump to
“We Ready”.
What are your thoughts on
people criticizing the cheers?
When People criticize our cheers,
I ask them if they have any cheers
that they would like to start, and they
usually don’t. We are always open to
new, nasty cheers.
What team do you enjoy us
playing the most?
I love to play the Brothers.
What team do you dislike us
playing the most?
Hmm... I will just leave it at “no
comment.”
Have you ever not lost your
voice after a game?
My voice has gotten so bad that I
cannot sing anymore in Beg to Differ
because I can no longer hit the high
notes.
Why is Arkansas so much better at football than Tennessee?
Arkansas is a sad excuse for a
football team, if you can call them a
team. I think that a bunch of middle
school girls is more the correct categorization for them.
his ninth season in the NFL. Eli, the
youngest Manning, went to Ole Miss
and played QB for four years, despite
a chance to be a first-round draft pick
after his junior season. But Eli stayed
at Ole Miss for his senior year and was
drafted by the Giants and is now in his
third season in the league.
Now, back to September 10. Eli
and Peyton knew this game was going
to be hyped but stayed focused and
came ready to play. When father Archie
was asked who he thought would come
out on top, he replied jokingly, “Cooper, because he gave me grandchildren.” But in reality, Archie and his wife
had not been looking forward to this
game. As the game went on, many
shots of Archie and Olivia Manning
were shown, and it was plain to see
that they knew it was going to be a hard
post-game week.
Peyton’s Colts came out on top with
a final score of 26 – 21. Peyton finished completing 25 of 41 passing for
276 yards, with 1 TD and 1 interception. His RBs (Dominic Rhodes and
Joseph Addai) also ran for only 55
yards and 1 score combined, showing
that the Colts will miss Edgerrin James,
arguably one of the best running backs
in the game today. Eli finished the night
with 20 of 34 passing and two TDs with
1 interception. Eli’s RBs (Pro-bowler
Tiki Barber and 6 foot 4 Brandon
Jacobs) ran for a combined 186 yards
and 1 TD.
After two impressive statistical
games for the Mannings, the older won
the game. The next time these two brothers are scheduled to play is sometime
in the next two years, since schedules
are decided after the season is over.
But who knows? A “Manning Bowl:
Part 2” Super Bowl is not hard to imagine.
SEC Trivia Challenge
Complete the following challenge on a separate piece of paper
and turn it into the Publication Office Box by Friday at 3:15. Three
will be chosen at random. If yours
is chosen and is correct, you recieve
a Coldstone Gift Certificate!
1. What was Bear Bryant’s homecoming game record as Alabama
coach?
2. What were the only two teams
to beat The Bear at Bryant-Denny Stadium in his 25 years?
3. In 1988, Auburn won the SEC
and went to the Sugar Bowl. What team
did Auburn play in that game, which
became the only tie in the history of the
Sugar Bowl?
4. What Vols receiver holds the
record for receiving yards in a bowl
game in the 20th century?
5. What SEC school’s colors are
crimson and navy blue?
6. What tradition does Georgia
have after its football team wins?
7. What did the 1942 and 1982
Georgia teams have in common?
8. Who was the Tennessee Vols
starting quarterback in 2003?
9. Which former Vols player played
for the Cincinnati Bengals?
10. Which team had the biggest
football stadium in 2002?
11. Which rivalry is called “The
Battle Between the Hedges”?
12. The fight song “The Orange and
Blue” belongs to what school?
13. LSU’s Rondell Mealy was
drafted by what NFL team in 2000?
14. What team was LSU playing in
the ”Earthquake Game”, where the
crowd was so loud it registered on a
seismograph on campus?
15. In the 1990s the Vols won how
many bowl games?
16. What is the name of the official
Auburn fight song?
17. This iconic former Ole Miss.
player’s jersey number “18” is thespeed
limit on campus. Who is the player?
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A m u s e m e n t s
A Challenge to the Faculty: Would You Ever Eat This?
BY COLIN MCDONALD
could line-jump all day…but I would
do it, just to prove that I can.
2) I would love to see anyone
from the English department eat one
in my place. I would say Ms. Moore
and Ms. Williams, but everybody in
the math department is hardcore and
could do it in a heartbeat. But I don’t
know about those English guys. Soft?
Maybe? I don’t know.
3) The worst thing I have ever
eaten, hands-down, is a Crispito. I
had ‘gastro-intestinal’ issues for days.
I’m telling you, I am ‘one and done.’
Never again. Swore-off them. Unhuh. No-no-no.
Dares. We have all been dared before, whether it is to win a prize or simply to prove one’s greatness, most of
the time through humiliating acts of stupidity. The following is the classic combination of both, and was too tempting
to pass by.
Recently the Six Flags Amusement
Park in Gurnee, Illinois issued the following challenge: any customer who
eats a live two- to three-inch horned
Madagascar cockroach will earn a free
pass to line-jump all day throughout the
park. Naturally, this got me thinking:
would any of my friends or I accept
MR. HAGUEWOOD
this great challenge? Or better yet,
would any of the faculty at MUS accept this dare for posterity’s sake? Read
1) No, Six Flags doesn’t interest
on and find out how a sample of our me. Now, if we were talking about
illustrious faculty responded to the fol- something significant, say, world
lowing:
peace, a cure for cancer, or a date
with Christie Brinkley, I’d consider
Question 1: Would you accept it.
this dare? Why or Why not?
2) Paris Hilton, or BarQuestion 2: Whom would you bara Streisand; maybe it
like to eat a cockroach in your would help them keep
place, and why?
their mouths shut for a
Question 3: What is the worst while.
thing you have ever eaten?
3) A dog food
sandwich—not Alpo
or real meat dog food,
MR. AKIN
but the three cans for 29
1) No. If I did, it means I have cents kind.
been forced to go to the Six Flags
Amusement Park in Gurnee, Illinois.
2) Coach Taylor. Chuck Norris
would protect him form any ill effects
with a roundhouse kick to the universe.
3) The worst thing I’ve seen eaten
is a Crispito. The hiss and crunch
going down are similar to that of the
horned Madagascar cockroach,
though the cockroach is distinguished
by offering some nutritional value.
MR. CLIFFT
1) I think I could do it. I don’t
know if it’s worth doing so that I
SENOR HERNANDEZ
1) Yes. If I am hungry, I don’t care
what it is, I will eat it.
2) Paris Hilton; she is so skinny
that I think she needs to include insects in her diet to get some kind of
nutrients.
3) Taco bell. Do you really call that
a Taco?
MR. POLK
1) No. If I have to explain, you
probably won’t understand.
a human about to ingest him) the
2) Lets not go there…
3) Broiled catfish—one awful bite. Madagascar initiates a chemical release which creates a semi-sebaceous discharge with a tacky feel
COACH RAY
and a pleasant honey-like sweet1) I do not think I would accept ness, appropriate for anything from
the dare. Riding rides at Six Flags is a breakfast spread to a helpful
household glue. I’d gladly eat a
not worth that.
2) Hilary Clinton-would just be horned Madagascar cockroach. In
tropical climes, they are considered
interesting.
3) Liver-and I won’t ever eat a d e l i c a c y. A S r i L a n k a n
[however]?...HA HA, no way,
it again.
Jose! Not this time!
2) Maybe Mr. Bowman, beMR. SHELTON
cause he would be the only one to
1) No. I hate amuse- enjoy the taste more than I.
3) My words.
ment parks.
2) A large Mockingbird.
3) Beef stew in the old cafeteria, or undone powdered
eggs onboard a ship.
MR. SMYTHE
1) Yes! Contrary to popular belief, the Madagascar cockroach is
a direct descendant of and often
mistaken for the horrifically toxic
Sri Lankan cockroach, differentiated only by the color and flexibility of the horn. Neurotransmitters in
the Madagascar’s brain signal the
nerve receptors at the horn ends,
chemically altering the mucus in the
sinus membranes housed in the
horn base. As you might obviously
conclude, when frightened (say by
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A m u s e m e n t s
The Mars Volta Triumphs with Amputechture
BY WILSON CASTLEMAN
The critic’s risk of giving one band
such high praise is that he will almost
certainly become labeled as a mere
fan boy, someone too biased to give
a credible album review. I am writing
this review at that very risk. My 2005
review for The Mars Volta’s epic
masterpiece Frances the Mute offered endless praise that I still hold
completely valid to this day, and when
I heard about a new album so soon, I
was expecting a disappointment for
Amputechture, which was released
September 12. I didn’t think they
could top themselves with another
album. I didn’t think they could make
something as good as Frances. Turns
out they not only could match it, they
could outdo it.
I popped in Amputechture only
a few minutes after I bought it, and
was completely consumed by the
power of this album. The opener,
“Vicarious Atonement”, sent chills
down my spine as the slow but fiery
guitar and soaring textures overcame
me, building up tension until the album completely kicked in with
“Tetragrammaton”, the first of the
album’s three epic centerpieces.
“Tetragrammaton” was definitely my
favorite track on the album, spiraling
through Latin guitar melodies, 70’s
prog rock-style organ blasts, singer
Cedric Bixler-Zavala’s trademark
frantic, piercing vocals, and wild improvised sections, all over wildlychanging time and key signatures. The
slower-paced “Vermicide” comes in
as the shortest song on the album,
which doesn’t at all take away from
the power of its amazing chorus or
brilliant vocal interlude.
The second epic song,
“Meccamputechture”, is the jazziest
and most bass-heavy piece on the album, while still employing a huge variety of exotic sounds. After the slow,
Photo Courtesy of
www.neumagazine.co.uk
acoustic ballad “Asilos Magdalena,”
is “Viscera Eyes,” arguably the
grooviest piece The Mars Volta has
ever done. With a driving rhythm section and blaring brass in the chorus,
this is the “fun” song, destined to become a concert favorite.
The final epic masterpiece of the
album, “Day of the Baphomets”, is
the most technical work of the band’s
career, and arguably the most inventive. With spots of tribal drumming
throughout, free jazz interludes, eerie
lead guitar lines, and near-crazed
vocals, it makes for the album’s most
unpredictable and interesting piece.
Amputechture draws to a close with
the masterful “El Ciervo Vulnerado”,
essentially coming full circle to the atmosphere of the beginning of the album, spiraling down indefinitely as
sitar drones, saxophone interjections,
piano doodles, and sparse lead guitar end the album on a beautifully discordant note.
The Mars Volta has proved that
they are the most brilliant band in the
currentmusic scene and that there is
no limit to their creativity. For all we
know they could just as easily top this
album with their next release. You’d
be hard-pressed to find a better album this year.
Wilson gives this album 5 out of
5 buzzards.
Several Indiespensable Albums
Bloc Party – Silent Alarm (2005,
struments, and, yes, an accordion leave
make this album as a very memorable V2 Records)
The debut LP from these lively Brits
For those of you who haven’t al- listen.
Highlight: ‘Neighborhood #3 (Lights sounds like what might happen if you
ready heard, Death Cab for Cutie is
threw U2, Franz Ferdinand, and Blur
indeed coming to the Orpheum on Tues- Out)’
into a blender, but the result isn’t just
day, November 28, and tickets are
Modest Mouse – The Lonesome some mess of arena-sized indie rock.
nearly gone, so if you’re absolutely dyCrowded
West (1997, Up Records) Instead, the album is a driving experiing to see Ben Gibbard and the band,
The “breakthrough” album for the ence of spiraling guitars, pounding
you better hurry. Of course, the concert isn’t for another two months, so if band, this release is really a quirky drums, and punchy bass, not to menyou’re in dire need of that Indie fix, here listen. In all actuality, Modest Mouse tion the extremely British yelp of Kele
are a few albums you can spin to pass is a quirky band, and this album is Okereke for vocals. It’s hard not to like
one of the best places to hear that this vigorous release from an extremely
the time:
oddity. It’s hard to find something that promising band.
Highlight: ‘Helicopter’
The Arcade Fire – Funeral (2004, sounds quite like what you’ll hear on
this
album,
but
that
originality
is
defiMerge)
Death From Above 1979 – You’re
The debut album from Montreal’s nitely a good thing. Whether or not
a
Woman,
I’m a Machine (2004, Vice
you
catch
all
the
humor
in
the
lyrics,
most interesting indie band never disappoints and still sounds fresh two years you can still enjoy the fiery, screech- Records)
It was a shame Death From Above
after its release. Whether you’re listen- ing guitars, rambling vocals, and over1979
couldn’t last more than one LP,
all
flow
and
appeal
of
this
great
aling to the song cycle, ‘Neighborhood,’
but oh what an album it is. The band
of the first half, or the ethereal second bum.
being only two members, a drummer
Highlight:
‘Teeth
Like
God’s
half, you won’t be disappointed. The
and a bassist, created one of the most
mixture of strings, traditional rock in- Shoeshine’
BY WILL MAYS
unique albums in the indie genre. The
massively distorted bass and manic
drums sound so incredibly lo-fi, but
swagger just the same. It’s really hard
to believe that this album is dominated
by only two instruments, but DFA1979
pulled it off, so more power to them.
Highlight: ‘Romantic Rights’
The Postal Service – Give Up
(2003, Sub Pop)
In 2003, Ben Gibbard and some of
his compatriots from Death Cab for
Cutie teamed up with Jimmy
Tamborello and Jen Wood to create the
first Postal Service LP. The sound is
much more electronic than anything
Death Cab has done on its own, but
this sound is right up Tamborello’s alley, and the result is an interesting, engaging set of music. All Death Cab fans
should check this out.
Highlight: ‘The District Sleeps Alone
Tonight’
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Though Predictable,The Illusionist Still Mesmerizes
BY ALEX CARTER
I’ll admit, I had my doubts about the
Illusionist; despite a promising cast, a plot
that sounded intriguing enough, and an attractive, “faded” cinematographic atmosphere, there were elements of the film
that pointed toward disaster. In addition
to having no idea what to expect from
virtually novice writer-director Neil
Burger, I cringed when I heard it was
based upon a short story, recalling some
of the less successful story-to-film attempts.
Fortunately, my fears proved to be
mostly wrong, and the Illusionist is ultimately an entertaining (though by no
means earth-shattering) film. The story
follows Edward Eisenheim (Edward
Norton), a sly, mysterious, and affable illusionist performing in Vienna, roughly
around 1900. Eisenheim’s childhood—
revealed through a stylized, color-saturated flashback not unlike the style of a
filmed fairytale—is spent as the son of a
cabinetmaker, an ordinary peasant with
a talent for slight of hand. His odd abilities
catch the fancy of a young Austrian duchess, and the two enter a childish romance,
only to be separated by the girl’s class-
Photo Courtesy of post-gazette.com
Edward Norton prepares to dazzle his audience with Jessica Biel
conscious family.
Fifteen years later, Eisenheim is stunning crowds in Vienna with his illusions,
so much that some of his audience is beginning to question whether the “tricks”
are really tricks at all. Arriving in Vienna
to witness this master magician’s skill is
the Habsburg Crown Prince Leopold
(Rufus Sewell), who brings along with him
his fiancé, none other than Eisenheim’s
former lover and duchess Sophie (Jessica Biel). The two recognize each other
when Sophie is called upon stage for one
of Eisenheim’s tricks, and the chemistry
between the two is enough to send
Leopold into suspicion and distrust of
Eisenheim. The ill-willed Crown Prince
sends out Chief Inspector Uhl (Paul
Giamatti) to monitor the magician and ultimately remove him from business.
To expose any more would spoil the
movie, but suffice it so say that there is no
shortage of magic, intrigue, and action
throughout the film. Burger does an excellent job of recreating the hybrid world
of old and new Europe during the turn of
the century, not unaided by the strange,
borderline-fantastic cinematography
(done by Dick Pope), as the dark shades
and gold and yellow hues that permeate
the film give an ethereal atmosphere, tinged
with slight melancholy and nostalgia.
Equally vivid, however, are the character and the actors who portray them.
While the screenplay is decent, it is made
excellent by the outstanding perfor-
mances. Edward Norton reveals once
again that he can play seemingly any part
he is given. Not only are the majority of
Eisenheim’s tricks performed without special effects or CGI (Norton was trained
by David Blaine for the film), but his performance on stage makes him seem a real
magician—his gaze and his mannerisms
reveal a true confidence and sincerity of
character, as if he is telling us that we will
believe this. Biel serves well as the romantic interest, and what little screen time
she does have, she performs well, but far
more interesting is the interaction between
Norton and Giamatti. Giamatti is as intelligent and versatile as Norton (though the
character he plays perhaps less so), and
one could argue that the Chief Inspector
is the true protagonist, an essentially good
man representing a corrupt character.
Rufus Sewell does a superb job as the
Crown Prince; his noble yet sinister appearance transforms him from simply jealous royalty to supremely corrupt villain.
The Illusionist accomplishes that quintessential element of a good and enjoyable film: we ultimately care for the heroes. We feel pain and sympathy and happiness for them, which is why we will
CONTINUED ON PAGE 12
Black Dahlia Left Bloomless
BY WILL MAYS
When I first saw the previews for
Brian De Palma’s latest film, The Black
Dahlia, I was thrilled. The movie
looked so promising with its stellar cast,
experienced director, and aura that drip
of cool. But sadly, the movie did not
live up to the buzz. Granted, it’s definitely not the worst film you’ll ever see,
far from it, but there are just missteps
along the way that keep this film from
being one of the greats of the year, and
these blunders are also what will kill this
film’s chances of living up to all the Best
Picture hype. The film stars Josh
Hartnett, Scarlett Johansson, Aaron
Eckhart, and Hilary Swank. There isn’t
truly a bad performance from any of
them, but they won’t win any Academy Awards either. Swank’s character
in particular is almost a cliché as far as
the secretive, seductive ladies of noir
go, and Hartnett’s character disintegrates halfway through the film.
The beginning is brilliant, straight-up
noir, and the story even carries on without a hinge for just enough time for the
audience to get into the characters. It
would’ve been better had the audience
been immersed in the plot instead, but
alternately tries so hard to twist and turn
like the best of them that it either fails
or just confuses the audience. These
plot warps lead up to one of the most
confusing and anti-climactic endings I’ve
ever witnessed. I couldn’t tell if I should
have laughed or been appalled, but I
found myself doing neither. The ending
leaves the viewer like the end of any
episode of Scooby-Doo: you spend the
entire time piecing together the clues,
but, in the end, it was Mr. Jenkins, the
groundskeeper of the amusement park
and, up until the ending, a totally irrelevant character, who perpetrated the
crime. Also, there are a horde of subplots that should accent the main plot,
but the main plot tends to get buried in
the various aspects of these subplots,
so the result is a rather muddled affair
of trying to figure out which aspect of
which story affects the big picture. Most
of these subplots could’ve even been
left out and the movie would’ve been
as good, or possibly even better.
It’s a real shame to see something
that started with so much potential become so underwhelming, but at least
the film is a good popcorn flick. The
disappointment here won’t be because
you know it won’t be Best Picture, but
instead it’s because you know it
could’ve been Best Picture. Brian De
Palma really misses here, and what
should’ve been a great addition to the
noir genre turns into just another run of
the mill Hollywood experience. This is
a prime example what should’ve been
an amazing film gone awry, but it’s still
better than a lot of the trash in theaters
these days.
Will gives this film 3 out of 5 buzzards.
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Musical Revelations
BY WADE LAYCOOK
Despite only a year and a half having passed since their last release,
Audioslave is back again from the studio with their third album, Revelations.
The album, a follow-up to the band’s
2005 highly successful release, Out of
Exile, debuted at the number two spot
on the Billboard Top 200 chart this
September. Audioslave, an alternativerock fusion composed of exSoundgarden vocalist Chris Cornell and
three of the four members of Rage
Against the Machine, hit the music
scene in 2002 with the release of their
wildly successful, self-titled, debut album. Since then, the band has gained
much popularity among a wide spectrum of listeners. In a musical world
dominated by mostly pop-garbage,
Audioslave continues to produce quality music with each release. Revelations
is no exception.
Known for their unique sound,
Audioslave combines the hard rock elements of Soundgarden with the funkmetal sounds of Rage into one coherent, musical package. Guitarist Tom
Morello describes Revelations as
“Earth, Wind, and Fire meets Led Zeppelin”. This statement is best heard in
the album’s opening title track, as well
as the rather funky “One and the Same”.
As with Out of Exile, Audioslave
shows a somewhat softer, mellow side
throughout Revelations in tracks such
as the predominately acoustic “Until We
Fall”. “Broken City” also reveals the
softer side of the album, albeit with a
jazzier flavor. Perhaps the most airplayfriendly song of the album is the catchy
“Original Fire”, the album’s first single
which debuted on radio stations across
the nation weeks before the album’s
release. However, fans of the hard-hitting riffs prevalent on Audioslave’s first
album will not be disappointed either.
Tracks like “Sound of a Gun” and
“Shape of Things to Come” have that
classic Audioslave sound that many felt
was missing from Out of Exile. “Moth”,
the albums last (and probably heaviest) track, offers a very dark riff reminiscent of Cornell’s Soundgarden days.
Throughout the CD, Cornell’s
scorching vocals drive the excellently
written lyrics. However, despite
Cornell’s not wanting to write politically
influenced lyrics, many of the songs on
Revelations revolve around some political theme. Most prevalent is the
rather controversial “Wide Awake”, a
track about the government’s apparent
lack of concern for the victims of Hurricane Katrina. Throughout most of the
album, guitarist Tom Morello demonstrates his completely unique mastery
of the guitar. Instead of most guitarists,
who simply pluck strings, Morello recreates many hip-hop/electronica
sounds, such as the scratching of a
record, by using various modulation and
delay effects and a whole slew of innovative techniques. Contrary to popular
belief, all of Morello’s signature sounds
and effects are solely created with a
guitar – a testament to true musicianship.
Audioslave has produced yet another jewel through Revelations. Fans
of their first album will not be disappointed by a lack of heavy guitar riffs,
as they were with Out of Exile. Likewise, those who preferred the overall
mellower tone of Out of Exile will also
thoroughly enjoy Revelations
Audioslave continues to improve as a
band with each release. Instead of
sounding like a simple fusion of
Soundgarden and Rage Against the
Machine, the group is slowly gaining
their own identity as an entirely different band. Without a doubt, anyone interested in modern rock at its best
should definitely purchase Revelations.
Wade gives this album 4 out of 5
buzzards.
Tony Jaa Still Kicking in The Protector
BY ALEXANDER FONES
Fans of the hardcore Muay Thai
martial arts film, Ong-Bak (2003),
were more than ecstatic to hear about
the return of newcomer Tony Jaa. The
hesitation mounted as finally, through
Quentin Tarantino’s endorsement, the
originally titled, Tom-Yum-Goong, was
released in America as Quentin
Tarantino’s The Protector. With a similar plot, replacing the stolen Buddha’s
statue head of Ong-Bak with a stolen
white elephant, Jaa’s sophomore effort
was expected to be more of the same.
However, The Protector does more
than just please the crowd with introductions of incredibly complex fighting
scenes and action sequences.
Since I assume (and hope) that none
of you are going for the plot, I’ll just
skip it. Needless to say, the plot is
shoddy, characterization low, acting
mediocre, and dubbing atrocious. But
now on to the important issue at hand:
Just how cool is it?
Tony Jaa still moves like no other,
and he is put in some hairy situations
through the movie with little reasoning
or motivation. But hey, he’s walking up
glass while a four-wheeler goes through
it. The first important fight scene is Jaa’s
escape from a posse of Tony Hawk
rejects on every extreme sports transportation device known to man. Overall, you can sleep through this part.
Maybe awake for the last part previously mentioned. Then go to sleep as
the movie sweeps through an unnecessary animation sequence looking like it
was made for the game MediEvil back
in 1998. Be sure not to disturb fellow
theatre goers with your snoring during
a half-hearted indictment of the evils of
prostitution. But set an alarm for a fourminute long, no cuts, steadicam shot as
Tony Jaa finally starts doing what he’s
paid to do, breaking bones and hitting
people in the face with his knees and
elbows. Then again, you can sleep until
probably the second greatest fight behind Bruce Lee versus Chuck Norris
in The Return of the Dragon. For
some unknown reason, Jaa is halted in
a burning room by a Capoeira fighter
Photo Courtesy of tonyjaa.org
from the same vein as Tekken character, Eddy Gordo, complete with “Pray”
carved into his chest. After that sweet
idea runs its course, in comes a Korean sword master, and finally an unstoppable wrestler, all of which are dispatched Muay Thai-style.
Don’t go back to sleep immediately
because Jaa is about to destroy an entire tower chock full of random thugs.
From this point on, it’s almost nonstop
action. However, even the action gets
strange, complete with more awful animation sequences, a feisty villainess
with a whip, and bizarre relations between Jaa and his stupid elephant. Not
to worry though; soon enough the action cuts into one of the greatest scenes
in the film: Jaa’s knee-into-face-ofchick-hanging-off-of-helicopter-ness.
However, if you ever wished intensively
to see two thousand nondescript
CONTINUED ON PAGE 12
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THE CROSSWORD PUZZLE
ILLUSIONIST
FROM PAGE 10
condone their actions that would otherwise seem wrong.
Of course, the film is not perfect. The
writing (particularly the dialog) occasionally falters, especially during the scenes
of Eisenheim’s childhood, in which the
younger actors teeter on the edge of bathos. The music, composed by minimalist
(and often very avant-garde) composer
Philip Glass, is somewhat “hit-or-miss”
as well; you either find it mesmerizing, as
I did, or irritatingly repetitive.
The biggest complaint is the plot’s predictability. While I can’t give anything
away, the “twist” admittedly becomes
easy to see, and many have declared the
movie unoriginal and trite. But I believe
Burger’s passion for the plot and characters combined with the actors’ performances make up for this. Watching The
Illusionist was, to my mind, like listening
to a Beethoven symphony: though I know
how it’s going to end from the very first
note, I’ll still enjoy it thoroughly.
Alex gives this film 4 out of 5 buzzards.
PROTECTOR
FROM PAGE 12
men’s limbs get broken, you chose
correctly to see The Protector.
Jaa deserves better than the
videogame directing handled by OngBak director Prachya Pinkaew.
Those who claimed that Jaa, who
flops around whining throughout the
entire movie for his elephant, is the
new Bruce Lee are in for disappointment. Bruce Lee was a charismatic
philosopher who happened to be the
best martial artist in the world. Tony
Jaa is sporting some good ideas and
wicked cool moves, but he’s a wet
noodle in the world of legitimate plots
and acting. Perhaps once he finishes
his current English courses, he can
move to Hollywood where at least
the plot can be mediocre rather than
nonexistent. After all, now that Jet Li
has released Fearless, his last martial arts epic, this year, the world
needs someone who can truly fill the
impending void.
Alexander gives this film 3 out
of 5 buzzards.