MOUNT OLIVET GATE Of HEAVEN AssUMPTION HOLY CrOss
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MOUNT OLIVET GATE Of HEAVEN AssUMPTION HOLY CrOss
Cathoic Cemeteries MOUNT OLIVET Kenmore GATE of HEAVEN Lewiston ASSUMPTION Grand Island HOLY CROSS Lackawanna HOLY SEPULCHRE Cheektowaga QUEEN of HEAVEN Lockport Now Representing MOUNT CALVARY Cheektowaga P reserving our Beliefs and Traditions 2 Western New York Catholic June 2011 Catholic Cemeteries 2011 June 2011 Western New York Catholic 3 There are several options when it comes to Catholic burial By Carmen Colao Director of Cemeteries It will never be more affordable to buy property in a Catholic cemetery than it is today. By making a purchase at today’s price, people can avoid higher prices in the future due to inflation. Most purchases can be made through a payment plan. Full payment is required only when a grave or crypt is actually used. Payment plans involve only a small down payment and can be financed up to 60 months with no interest or finance charge. The decision to make arrangements in the calm of today will bring a sense of security and peace of mind to the entire family. Traditional Ground Burial Traditional ground burial continues to be a popular form of burial. Families can choose from one of two types of graves that are available. The graves are distinguished by the type of memorial that may be placed on them. A lawn-level grave is one where the memorial is set on a stone base flush with the ground. A monument privilege grave is one where the memorial is set on a foundation and extends above the ground. The particular section of a cemetery chosen will determine the size and style of the memorial. Regulations regarding markers or monuments will be explained at the time of purchase. In all cases, the graves must be paid in full before a memorial may be placed. Lawn Crypts Lawn crypts offer the same traditional ground burial with the now permits cremation, we continue to give higher value to the burial of the body. If there is to be cremation, the Church clearly prefers and urges that the funeral liturgy take place in the presence of the deceased body prior to its cremation. Only in extraordinary circumstances should the cremated remains of the body be present during the funeral liturgy. The Church strongly recommends that the cremated remains be treated with respect and reverence with burial in a Catholic cemetery. The cremated remains may be placed (inurned) in a grave, mausoleum or columbarium niche designated for cremation. They may also be placed in an occupied grave or crypt if room allows. In any case, a maximum of one interment and one or two inurnments will be permitted in a single grave or crypt. The practice of scattering, dividing or keeping the cremated remains in the home is not the reverent disposition the Church recommends. exception that each grave includes a concrete outer container that has been pre-set in the ground. Lawn crypts have been designed and engineered to offer suitable protection of the burial space. A memorial and Lawn crypts offer the same traditional ground burial vase are also with the exception that each grave includes a concrete provided. outer container that has been pre-set in the ground. Lawn crypts are currently available at Mount Olivet Cemetery, Mausoleums are constructed of Kenmore; Holy Cross Cemetery, steel reinforced concrete, natural Lackawanna; and Queen of Heaven stone, and the most durable rigid Cemetery, Lockport. Depending materials available. Each crypt on the type of memorial and outer chamber offers the same protection container selected, lawn crypts can as the concrete outer container be very economical when compared found in traditional ground burial. to traditional ground burial. Both interior and exterior crypts The purchase price of the lawn are available. Polished granite or crypt includes the grave, concrete marble decoratively seals each crypt. outer container and memorial with Memorialization is provided in the vase. form of bronze lettering on interior Chapel Mausoleums Chapel Mausoleums are found at Mount Olivet Cemetery in Kenmore, Holy Cross Cemetery in Lackawanna, Holy Sepulchre Cemetery in Cheektowaga, Gate of Heaven Cemetery in Lewiston and Queen of Heaven Cemetery in the Town of Lockport. The mausoleum concept has greatly expanded the burial options of Catholics who now have the opportunity to choose above ground entombment. crypts and incising of granite on exterior crypts. Depending on the type and location of the grave, mausoleums can be very economical when compared to traditional ground burial. Cremation An indult was granted by the Holy See to diocesan bishops of the United States which allows the cremated remains of a body to be present at the funeral liturgy. Although the Church Ownership Rights Graves and crypts are conveyed by easement. This gives the purchaser exclusive and permanent right of use. Ownership is retained by the cemeteries. Upon the death of the purchaser, ownership rights automatically descend to direct blood heirs equally unless they are specifically assigned to a particular heir. The spouse of the original purchaser always has a dower right of burial ahead of other heirs. Where a non-blood heir is to be buried, permission of blood heirs is required. Families are encouraged to obtain these permissions in advance of need and place them on file at the cemetery. Tree, shrub and lawn care specialists l l l Tree pruning and removal Tree planting Organic tree and lawn care l l l Emerald ash borer controls Deer and rabbit repellent Certified Arborist consulting 634-3431 1014 Rein Road, Cheektowaga, NY 14225 l [email protected] 4 Western New York Catholic Catholic Cemeteries 2011 Don’t Forget Friends of the Cemetery Catholic Cemeteries is continuing its successful donation program, “Friends of the Cemetery.” With several options to choose from, the donation program is designed to allow families and friends to memorialize a loved one as well as contribute to the beautification of the cemetery. For more information, call 716-873-6500. INQUIRE ABOUT THE ADVANTAGES OF PRE-PLANNING Call 873-5680 today We welcome your comments Email us at: [email protected] Visit our website at: www.buffalocatholiccemeteries.org June 2011 Finding Our Niche By Chip Mussen Marketing Director Cremation garden planned for Mount Olivet Cemetery Church teachings insist that the cremated body should be treated with the same respect given to the corporeal remains of the human body. This includes a worthy container to hold the cremated remains as well as their placement. Mount Olivet Cemetery has drawn up plans for a Cremation and Estate Garden for its St. Andrew’s Hill section that will help you fulfill this obligation. This beautiful garden setting will provide a quality option for families requesting cremation interment along with many unique alternatives for memorialization, including several columbaria and niche walls. Cremation plots in a gardentype setting will be offered as well with landscaping as a backdrop for small upright memorials and flat markers. The perimeter of the garden will consist of Family Estate Lots for standard burial and family mausoleums. Besides these new burial options, construction will also include redirecting some of the roadways, attractive walkways throughout the new section, benches and some beautiful landscaping including new trees and shrubs. This plan is scheduled to be completed in multiple phases over several years with construction planned to begin in the fall of 2011. Catholic Cemeteries continues changes to web page Have you visited our Catholic Cemeteries web page recently? The changes and additions we have made are to make our website easier to interact with as well as add more useful content. You will see a new tab titled “Bereavement” where we will be listing many local grief support programs as well as links to many grief support resources, like Gilda’s Club, Life Transitions Center and the Grief Store. Also, look under the “About Us” tab for the new cemetery video entitled “Preserving Our Beliefs and Traditions” that discusses many of the options and considerations at our Catholic Cemeteries and also includes a special message from Bishop Edward U. Kmiec. We will soon be adding a tour of our mausoleums to show the different options available. In the coming months, we will be opening an online store where you can purchase certain items, such as vases, wreaths and crypt front accessories. We will also be offering many of our publications on line, including “Revelations” and our yearly supplement in the Western New York Catholic. We will also regularly update the “News & Events” tab, where you will find recent developments, our Mass schedule and our Bereavement Lecture Series. You will also see that we have updated the maps on our website. Not only is there a printable map of all our cemeteries to make it easier to find your loved ones, but there is also an interactive map that shows you where our cemeteries are located and directions to get there. Look for these and other exciting changes as we continue to update our website. Friends and Family Program The Catholic Cemeteries of the Diocese of Buffalo will continue their successful “Friends and Family” program. All six of our Catholic Cemeteries as well as our partner, Mount Calvary Cemetery in Cheektowaga, will be offering savings of up to $500 off your burial space from May 1 through June 30, 2011. Special discounts will be offered on accessory items such as memorials, vases and crypt front accessories. For those families that have already purchased, a referral program is available whereby you can receive a thank you gift for each family member who makes a selection in any of our cemeteries. Memorial options expanded Families now have the option to select a specially designed slant memorial at a discounted price. There are several patterns and colors available enabling families to personalize their memorials. By having the option to package their grave with the new upright memorial, families will greatly benefit from the significant savings that this program has to offer. These memorials will also be available to families that have already purchased their graves. Please be aware that these upright memorials can only be placed on monument privilege graves. For more information call 716-8735680. June 2011 Catholic Cemeteries 2011 Veterans Administration announces new Memorial Program By Cathy Samer Office Manager The Veterans Administration has announced that they will be offering an alternative to the flat marker as a memorial signifying and honoring a deceased status as a veteran. For veterans not buried in a national or state veterans’ cemetery, or those without a government grave marker, the Veterans Administration is pleased to offer a bronze medallion that highlights their service and sacrifices for our country. The new emblem will be furnished to those veterans whose death occurred on or after Nov. 1, 1990. The medallion is allowed in two sizes: 3 inches or 1.5 inches in diameter. Each bronze medallion features the image of a folded burial flag adorned with laurels and is inscribed with the word “Veteran” at the top and the branch of service at the bottom. A kit to affix the emblem to an Courtesy of Catholic Cemeteries The new bronze medallion offers a fitting tribute honoring the veteran’s service and sacrifice for our country. existing granite marker or monument is also included. This item may also be placed on a niche or crypt front. Due to safety issues, only cemetery staff will place the medallion on the niche or crypt front. There will be a nominal setting fee. Due to extreme weather conditions in our area, it is strongly recommended that placement on a flat granite marker or monument is recessed and set either by the cemetery or a monument dealer. If it is placed directly on the memorial with the adhesive kit, the cemetery cannot be held responsible for any damage or loss of the emblem. More information on Veterans Administration furnished headstones, markers and medallions can be found at www.cem.va.gov/gov/cem/hm/ hmtype.asp. For information on Veterans Administration burial benefits call 1-800-827-1000 or visit the Veterans Administration website at www.cem. va.gov. Western New York Catholic 5 Plant Designs, Inc. is pleased to provide seasonal flower arrangements for the Catholic Cemeteries memorialization program Silk Plants Indoor Plantscaping Live Plants www. plantdesigns.com 585-586-3366 800-728-2716 C rema Laying Loved Ones to R 6 Western New York Catholic Cremation Garden Planned for Mount Olivet Cemetery This beautiful garden will provide a quality option for families requesting cremation interment along with unique alternatives for memorialization. June 2011 Rest in Catholic Cemeteries June 2011 ation: Western New York Catholic Above: Mausoleum glass-fronted niches. Left: Blessed Mother Columbarium. 7 8 Western New York Catholic June 2011 Catholic Cemeteries 2011 Grief can be transformed into hope According to the dictionary, the definition of transformation is to change in form, appearance, nature or character. In grief support, I would give it an additional definition: evidence of healing. When people first attend a grief support program, they are raw from grief. The tears flow easily and often and they display many of the common symptoms of grief. They have trouble sleeping, eating and find the loneliness can be overwhelming. They are afraid of how they will cope with daily matters of their household or how they will make it through a special event or holiday. Life can be scary and they are not sure when, or if, they will ever laugh again. While they are appreciative of the support of family and friends, they are also aware that others in the family are also grieving. They may hide their true feelings behind a mask and tell people that they are doing “fine” even when they are not. The mixed emotions of loss are apparent as they discuss the relief that their loved one’s suffering has ended, but the pain of living without them seems overwhelming. Grief can be isolating and they may feel alone with their feelings and thoughts. They do not By Nancy Weil want to burden those around them with telling their tale one more time, so they keep it all to themselves. That is, until they walk in the door at one of our grief support programs. Suddenly they are surrounded by others who understand. They can speak of their loss and get knowing nods and a hand that clasps theirs. Their tears are welcomed and shared by others. Feelings of loss and loneliness are no longer anomalies, but an accepted part of the journey. By becoming a part of an understanding circle of support, the pain is eased and the burden lightened. This is where the magic occurs. Over time, I am witness to the amazing healing that takes place. Laughter flows as often as the tears. Friendships form and true caring is extended one to the other. Smiles light up the room as someone shares a Grief Support Groups: small victory – a project completed by themselves or a trip taken alone. These are all small steps on the journey, but mirror the new life they now have. At a recent grief support group a widow spoke of reaching the one-year mark since her husband’s passing. “I don’t know how I made it, but I did,” she said. She then turned to a recently widowed woman who was attending for the first time, held her hand, looked into her eyes and said, “I made it and you will too.” It was a powerful moment for all who witnessed it. No longer in the fog of grief, this woman has emerged stronger than she thought she was and learning to accept this new world she was thrust into. Others report how much they rely upon the group and look forward to attending events. Calendars are marked with upcoming lectures, circles and programs. Life looks different than it did before their loved one died, but it still contains moments of joy. Robert Frost wrote, “In three words I can sum up everything I know about life: it goes on.” And so it does, and by participating in our programs, grief can be transformed into hope. Nancy Weil is Director of Aftercare, Catholic Cemeteries and Mount Calvary Cemetery Group. E Mount Calvary’s Pine Lawn Chapel Second and fourth Monday each month 4:30-6 p.m. Mount Olivet Cemetery First and third Tuesdays each month 7-8:30 p.m. Stepping Out Walking Group Share the camaraderie and support of others while taking a leisurely stroll through the cemetery. Pine Lawn Cemetery Tuesdays beginning June 7 at 4 p.m. Mount Olivet Cemetery Thursdays beginning June 9 at 2 p.m. BOND – Bridging Out in New Directions social support programs including: Health Rhythms, Drum Circle, Laugh for the Health of It, Laughter Club Potluck Dinners, Men’s Group for Widowers Call 716-892-6600 for upcoming schedule of events. Lazarus Lecture Series Special programs designed to educate and comfort those who grieve. Call 716-892-6600 to learn more about upcoming topics. arth Steward Tree Care NM W James E. Farchione President Servicing the Catholic Cemeteries for over 10 years Tree & Shrub Fertilization Insect & Disease Control WNY’s Leader in Emerald Ash Borer Control Commercial & Residential Services NIAGARA MONUMENT WORKS INC . Builders of distinctive memorials 4801 Hyde Park Blvd. Niagara Falls, NY 14305 (716) 285-4318 Fax (716) 285-7671 www.niagaramonuments.com John Ruch - Arborist 693-8733 Catholic Cemeteries 2011 June 2011 Western New York Catholic New York bishops release booklet on end-of-life decisions Church teaching in clear language In an era of rapid medical advances, an aging population and myriad ethical questions surrounding the end of life, the New York state bishops are offering a guide to Catholics to help them as they confront important decisions for themselves or their loved ones. Entitled, “Now and at the Hour of Our Death: A Catholic Guide to End-of-Life Decision-Making,” the 15-page booklet explains Church teaching in this area, stressing the crucial moral distinction between “ordinary” and “extraordinary” means of preserving life. In clear and familiar language, the guide informs Catholics that they “are not morally bound to prolong the dying process by using every medical treatment available.” Following the discussion of Church teaching, the guide Ed Empl’ Michael L. Vitch President Compu-Mail Catholic Cemeteries 1/16 Ad 2011.indd 1 encourages Catholics to plan for the possibility of incapacitation at a later date by designating a health care proxy. A proxy form, which is included in the booklet, can be a morally appropriate advance care-planning tool for Catholics to use to ensure that their end-of-life wishes are followed in accord with their religious beliefs. The guide is published by the New York State Catholic Conference and was written with the input of a committee of moral theologians as well as the bishops who approved the final document. The booklet is available in PDF form at www.nyscatholic.org. Hard copies are also available. To order copies call 518434-6195 or email kgallagher@ nyscatholic.org. Niagara Falls • Rochester Detroit • West Palm Beach www.compu-mail.com • 800.255.0670 Monument Lettering, Cleaning Service & Paint Restoration 190 North Creek Drive ∙ Cheektowaga “Call for Cleaning Prices” 683-7549 5/11/11 10:55 AM We’re MORE THAN a Typical Accounting Firm… To learn more about the services we offer and the clients we serve, call 716.633.8885. 6400 Sheridan Drive Suite 230 Buffalo, New York 14421 www.bonadio.com 9 10 Western New York Catholic A Family company with a passion for Excellence, Quality and Innovation Catholic Cemeteries 2011 June 2011 Memorial Day Lest We Forget By Carmen Colao BIONDAN NORTH AMERICA INC. 2220 - 77AP - Midland Avenue Toronto, ON - Canada M1P 3E6 Phone 416-290-6700 Fax 416-290-6701 Toll Free Phone 1-877-290-6703 Toll Free Fax 1-877-290-6701 [email protected] www.biondanbronze.com We tend to take for granted the freedoms that we enjoy today. However, it is important for us to remember the sacrifices that bought these freedoms. Memorial Day is a remembrance for all those who have given their lives in service to our country. It is believed that this special day had many separate beginnings in many different locations to honor American Civil War dead. This growing movement fulfilled a general human need to honor our dead. After World War I the holiday was changed from honoring Civil War dead to include those who died fighting in all wars. Memorial Day was finally declared a national holiday in 1971. Traditional observance of Memorial Day as a solemn day of mourning has diminished over time. People have forgotten the meanings and traditions of the day. Some people think the day is for honoring all dead, not just those who gave their lives in service to their country. President Ronald Reagan is credited with reviving the meaning of Memorial Day and the practice of honoring our war dead. His speech at Arlington National Cemetery on Memorial Day 1986, stated: “Today is the day we put aside to remember fallen heroes. … It is a day of thanks for the valor of others, a day to remember the splendor of America and those who rest in this cemetery and others. It’s a day to be with the family and remember.” The “National Moment of Remembrance” resolution was passed in December 2000 to help remind Americans of the true meaning of Memorial Day. The resolution asks that at 3 p.m. local time, on Memorial Day for all Americans “to voluntarily and informally observe in their own way a moment of remembrance and respect, pausing from whatever they are doing for a moment of silence or listening to taps.” As we pause and ponder the traditional meaning of Memorial Day, there are many ways we can celebrate those who are honored on this day: • If you know someone who has lost a loved one in battle, offer to help with a special need they may have. • Volunteer to assist local Veterans Groups in placing flags on the graves of fallen soldiers. • Get involved in your community’s tributes to our veterans. • Send a note of thanks either privately or publicly to veterans you know. Let us be thankful for God’s blessings. Let us also pray for God’s protection over all those in military service. 451 Meyer Road, Buffalo, NY 14226 phone: (716) 834-3500 fax: (716) 834-3506 email: [email protected] www.HLMI.com £ signage · silk screen · truck lettering signs to fit your purse & purpose signs are your coat of arms Tel (716) 692-1435 Fax (716) 692-6141 [email protected] June 2011 Finding Peace Catholic Cemeteries 2011 Let God bring comfort to your heart By Nancy Weil “When my husband died, I felt lost and alone.” “I don’t know how I can make it through without her.” “No one understands what I am feeling.” These are typical comments when a loved one has died. You feel like the life you had has suddenly been ripped away and the world no longer makes sense. The days are long and the nights even longer and you wonder if you will ever feel better. The emotional pain and yearning for what you cannot have is unrelenting. Your mind keeps running and peace eludes you. In these troubling times, you wonder where God is and how He can provide you the comfort and healing you desire. Did Jesus not say, “Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you”? In turning to Christ, we find strength to face each day without our loved one. Grief is anything but a peaceful journey. We cannot sleep, we continue to think about our loved one and how much we miss them, even our daily routines are disrupted. So what is this peace that Jesus refers to? It is not the peace of mind or the peaceful day, but the peace within our heart that He offers. For when our souls find rest and we can turn over our troubles to the Lord, then we can encounter the calm we seek. One woman reported that she felt God enter her heart and give her a sense of calm and peace that she had not experienced since her husband had died. Since that moment, she has found a way to accept her husband’s death, cherish the memories of their years together and move forward into her new life without him. God’s love is absolute; it comes to each of us and to all of us. It is not God who keeps this bliss away; it is our own ego, our own desire to control our life and own our emotions. We disrupt God’s plan when we stubbornly hold onto our view of how we think it should be or how we think we should feel or how we think people around us should act. Society and our upbringing may dictate to us how long grief should last or how we should act following a loved one’s death. However, no one but God truly knows your heart. It is only through His grace that you can heal and return to a life of purpose and joy. It can be difficult to live in absolute faith, especially when we are hurting so deeply. Faith is being comfortable in the not knowing. If you know what is going to happen, then there is no need for faith. When we are in a time of turmoil and change, it can be hard to hand your life over to God. Yet it is only through God that the ultimate path can be made clear. God finds a way, when there is no way. In our grief we think that we will never heal or feel whole again. We cannot fathom how life can have sweetness without our loved one in it. Yet life is still good; the flowers still bloom, the birds still sing, children continue to laugh and play. Around us is joy and we can find our way back to experiencing this happiness again if only we allow ourselves to heal from the grief and re-enter this “new” world we now find ourselves in. We cannot be separate from the world we live in any more than we can separate ourselves from God’s presence and love. Let go and let God. Let God bring comfort to your heart. Let God bring healing to your soul. Let God guide you through your grief and back into a joyful existence. As it is said in Philippians 4:6-7, “Have no anxiety at all, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, make your requests known to God. Then the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Jesus Christ.” Western New York Catholic 11 It’s been our distinct pleasure to have served the Diocesan Cemeteries for over 50 years Joseph A. Stoeckl Kennedy, Stoeckl & Martin, P.C. Attorneys at Law 856-9090 RJM Roofing Inc. d/b/a MICHAEL A. MARINUCCI President 2139 Lockport Road Niagara Falls, New York 14304 Phone: (716) 731-6671 Fax: (716) 731-1394 Cell: (716) 579-4297 Email:[email protected] 1 Babcock Street, Buffalo, NY 14210 (716) 825-6666 Fax: (716) 825-6773 www.pintoheavyconst.com Construction Services, Inc. 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