Oct/Nov 2015 - Compassionate Friends

Tucson Chapter
P.O. Box 30733
Tucson, AZ 85751-0733
(520) 721-8042
Websites: Chapter- www.tucsontcf.org
National- www.compassionatefriends.org/
National Headquarters
P.O. Box 3696
Oak Brook, IL 60522
Toll free (877) 969-0010
October/November 2015 WALKING THIS VALLEY- Tucson Chapter Vol. 33 No. 6
We’re sorry for the reason you’re here, but we’re glad you’ve found us. –Tucson TCF
Tucson Chapter Meetings
Catalina United Methodist Church 2700 E. Speedway Blvd, Room H-232
Second and Fourth Wednesdays 7:00-9:00 pm
October 14, 28 (Chapter Candle lighting)
November 11. 25
December 9, 23
Welcome!
All bereaved parents, grandparents, and adult siblings are welcome at our
support group meetings. Here you will find comfort, caring people, and
most of all-HOPE. Coming to the first meeting is hard but, you have
nothing to lose and much to gain. For many it is the first real step toward
healing. Although it may seem overwhelming, we encourage you to
come to several meetings to give yourself a chance to become
comfortable. We are not professional counselors. We are bereaved
families who want to help each other. Please join us as we heal.
National Conference 2016, Scottsdale, Arizona!!
Are you available July 8-10, 2016? You might want to change your schedule so
that you are. Attendance can help you in your grief journey. Or if you are at the
point in your journey where you are ready to help others, volunteers are needed
in all areas and some were already signing up at the Dallas conference.
Help is needed
…registering attendees each day as well as for the memorial walk
…assisting attendees with directions to workshops
…clerking at the butterfly boutique (gift shop)
…selling tickets for the raffle
…organizing and manning the silent auction area
…posting signs for morning, afternoon, and evening sessions
…setting up the memory boards and memorial tattoo boards
…delivering messages to leaders or attendees (class cancelled, location change)
…in other areas depending on what is offered at the 2016 conference
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Online Support
The Compassionate Friends offers an online support community. There are
general and specific bereavement sessions. Go to
www.compassionatefriends.org and click on resources.
Also a weekly web radio series called The Open to Hope Show featuring Dr.
Gloria Horsley, TCF’s Professional Adviser, and Heidi Horsley, M.S., MSW,
Psy. D is shown every Thursday at noon ET (9am for Tucson until Nov. then
10am). This hour long program is recommended by TCF as a grief/loss
resource and includes a phone in portion.
If you would like
Find this show at http://opentohope.com
to be notified
Like us on Facebook:
The Compassionate Friends-Tucson when the latest
newsletter goes
The Compassionate Friends-Tucson “All-In-One” Pen,
up please leave a
Stylus, and Light is Available at Meetings for $5
message at
newsletter@
Contact: hotline
tucsontcf.org
(520) 721-8042
or visit our website at
Chapter Steering Committee
www.tucsontcf.org
Unless expressly stated, the
views expressed in articles,
poetry, etc. in Walking This
Valley are not necessarily
the views of The
Compassionate Friends, The
Chapter Steering Committee
or the Editorial Team. The
Editor reserves the right to
edit any contributions.
COOKIES
Fellowship is an
important part of every
meeting. Please sign up
to bring a snack to
share. This can be on a
Birthday or
Remembrance Day or
anytime throughout the
year. Thanks so much.
Leader: Bertha Martinez
Co Leader: Debbie Russell
Editor: Diane Allison
Contributing Editors: All members
Outreach/ Correspondence: Estella Salazar
Website: Julie Shulick
New Attendee/Database Coordinator: Paula Harper
Library: Debbie Russell
Treasurer: Cindy Walter
Facilitators: Noelle Rohen, Guy Walter,
Kevin & Kristin Trapp, Maureen & Carl Luikart,
Javier Gallegos, Sal Cataudella
Regional Coordinators
Barb & Gene Caligari, Chandler, AZ
Photo buttons are now made at
meetings. Bring your child’s photo printed
on plain paper (button is 3” round) and
ask anyone with a ribbon on their
nametag for assistance.
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Autumn Memories
My son and I always enjoyed the autumn season. Yes, when we lived in the cold
zone, we knew that winter’s winds and snows were on the way. But, yet, we took time to
enjoy the beautiful array of colors that nature gave us as a final salute to the growing
season.
Todd and I raked leaves in the autumn. I had purchased a home in a town on the
Mississippi River bluffs; the home had been built in the 1860s and I am sure some of the
trees were well over 50 years old. The leaves would fall and we would rake. We made a
game of it. Sometimes his best friend, Allen, would come over and help. The boys would
jump into the piles and laugh with delight. We’d create a big pile and rake it to the
concrete so that it could be burned. I can still see Todd laughing and dancing around
that fire. His pure childhood joy was contagious.
Todd and I loved to look at the changing leaves along the bluffs of the river. We
would drive on weekends and find the best view. Then we’d park and marvel at nature’s
wonder. The big bluffs, the turning leaves, the eagles soaring above us. Ducks flying
south….even the occasional group of geese overhead...honking, honking as they
journeyed to a warmer climate.
The light is different in the autumn...it’s diffused somehow. It’s different than the
light in any other season. Autumn sun was our favorite light. It seemed less harsh, more
forgiving, gentler in a strange sort of way. That was another time and another place.
Now in the autumn I remember all the special times I shared with my child.
Looking at leaves, collecting leaves, raking leaves…...we did this together, just the two
of us. “Mom, when are we going to go look at leaves?” Todd would ask. That was my
cue to load up some soft drinks and sandwiches and head out on the first sunny
Saturday. We’d repeat this ritual until the leaves had all fallen and it was time to rake.
When we moved to the Houston area, Todd was 12, and we talked about the
seasons. He told me about his great memories of leaves and drives and time together.
He said he would miss autumn with me. That made me feel good. These were memories
that we shared, of a time when it was just Todd and me for those special moments.
Looking back, I am so glad that I spent the time to make memories. I thought I was
making memories for my child, but in fact, I was making memories for us both. And now
those memories are my memories…..good memories….memories that I will cherish
always.
Here it is autumn again. Soon Todd will be gone five years. The memories are
flooding back: the first day of each school each year, the changes as he grew to become
a man. High school, college, graduate school….all began in the autumn. Autumn marks
the beginning of many good memories for me. I listen as the school bus stops in front of
our house to pick up today’s children. Once in a while I go to the door and watch them
load up, chatting with each other as they take their seats. I think of my 12 year old son,
getting on that bus in front of our home for the first time: the first day of school in
Houston. And for a moment, just a fleeting moment, I think I can see him sitting at a
window seat, waving at me. Waving goodbye.
Annette Mennen Baldwin
In memory of my son,
Todd Mennen
TCF, Katy, TX
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A Special Thank You to Diane R. Wolford, Director of Catering at
Viscount Suite, for donating the use of a meeting room for our Steering
Committee Meeting on August 19, 2015.
A huge thank you to Cat Morrow, a new committee member for setting
this up for us and for providing birthday treats for several of us.
TIME IS ALMOST UP!!!
Less than two months to go until the
November 13, 2015 drawing for this
gorgeous 50th Anniversary Mustang!
Tickets are $25 each or 5 for $100. Get
all money and stubs in to Debbie Russell
now! Return unsold tickets to her as well
by Oct. 15.
Thank you for the Love Gifts
from Mr. and Mrs. H. Barrett;
And through ECAP from Karl
and Sue Snepp in memory of
David Snepp
The Compassionate Friends Credo
We need not walk alone. We are The Compassionate Friends. We reach out to each other
with love, with understanding, and with hope. The children we mourn have died at all
ages and from many different causes, but our love for them unites us. Your pain becomes
my pain, just as your hope becomes my hope. We come together from all walks of life,
from many different circumstances. We are a unique family because we represent many
races, creeds, and relationships. We are young, and we are old. Some of us are far along
in our grief, but others still feel a grief so fresh and so intensely painful that they feel
helpless and see no hope. Some of us have found our faith to be a source of strength,
while some of us are struggling to find answers. Some of us are angry, filled with guilt or
in deep depression, while others radiate an inner peace. But whatever pain we bring to
this gathering of The Compassionate Friends, it is pain we will share, just as we share
with each other our love for the children who have died. We are all seeking and
struggling to build a future for ourselves, but we are committed to building a future
together. We reach out to each other in love to share the pain as well as the joy, share the
anger as well as the peace, share the faith as well as the doubts, and help each other to
grieve as well as to grow. We Need Not Walk Alone. We Are The Compassionate
Friends. ©2007 The Compassionate Friends
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Submissions requested!
Pictures, poems, articles, letters to or about your child or
sibling, send to [email protected]
Special request for December newsletterPlease submit your favorite holiday photo of your child to
[email protected]. If you weren't able to share a
holiday with your special child but have an ultrasound photo
you would like to share please send it in. Please include your
child’s name as you would like it published. Send by Nov 15.
Thank you for contributing to your newsletter.
ID PINS
Kevin Trapp makes our ID Pins. Send him an email at
[email protected] with the photo you want attached or bring a
hard copy (which will be returned with the nametag). Include the first and
last name of the parent and the name and age of the child. These name tags
are at no charge. Following is an example of Ben’s Grandma’s name tag.
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Autumn
In the fall
When amber leaves are shed,
Softly—silently
Like tears that wait to flow,
I watch and grieve.
My heart beats sadly in the fall;
'Tis then I miss you most of all.
Lily de Lauder
TCF Van Nuys, CA
Memories
The certain special memories
That follow me each day.
Cast your shadow in my life
In a certain way.
Sometimes the blowing wind
Or the lyrics of a song
Make me stop and think of you
Sometimes all day long
Memories are good to have
To share and keep in my heart.
Just knowing that you’re still inside
Makes sure we’ll never part.
Collette Covington
TCF Lake Charles, LA
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Upcoming Events
MISS Foundation (A Community of Compassion and Hope for Grieving Families)
Tucson’s 3rd Annual Kindness Walk
Saturday, October 17, 2015 from 8:30am to 12pm
Children’s Memorial Park 4851 N. 15th Place, Tucson, AZ 85704
Register at http://www.firstgiving.com/missfoundation/tucson-kindnesswalk-2015 Click on Join Now
MISS Foundation is not affiliated with The Compassionate Friends but has
similar values and is another community resource for grieving families.
Find out more at www.missfoundation.org
The Compassionate Friends Tucson Chapter Candle Lighting
October 28 at 7pm.
Catalina United Methodist Church in the chapel
This takes the place of our regular meeting.
Please send 2-3 photos with your child’s name, as you want it to appear, for
the slide show to [email protected] by October 15.
Bring a food/drink item to share.
TCF Worldwide Candle Lighting
December 13, 2015 7pm.
Children’s Memorial Park
4851 N. 15th Place
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OCTOBER BIRTHDAYS
JENNIFER BAIN NANCY BATES DIETZ
JONATHAN BECK
JOHN PATRICK CLINE
ASHLEY FRANCO
DREW GYORKE
DENNY MALLORY
BETH STERN
KATIE DECKER
JOY FEULING ERB
AMY LOGAN
WRIGHT SAMUEL JOHNSON
JACQUES MARGODT
GIDEON MCDONALD
KEVIN ROBINSON-BARAJAS
JOSHUA GREEN
MARTHA HARRINGTON
TRENT MAPELSDEN
ANGEL MARTINEZ
KRISTIN SMITH
JOHN BREMOND
PAUL GOGUEN
SHANE HARVEY
GAGE LA FONTAINE
MATTHEW SCOTT
KAREN PRICE
JOHN GEHLEN
SELENA BURNE
PAUL METZGER
PAUL ROBOLD
KENNETH WALTER
KELLI BONN
ERIC SCHULTZ
BRANDEN PEASE
BRODIE SCHMICH
RON WHEELER
WENDY WHITACRE
OCTOBER DEATHS
OSWALDO BAKER
C WARNER
JONATHAN BECK
JOHN BREMOND
RENEE BLANCHARD
TRUDIE CALE
MONIQUE CELIA
ROGER PAUL EAGLE
JASMIN GAXIOLA
PHILIP WORKMAN
JOSHUA GREEN
SABRINA JOY
RICKY HAMRICK
DAVID KETTUNEN
FERNANDO ORTIZ, III
ANGEL MARTINEZ
DOUGIE SALSBURY
PAUL GOGUEN
JOSHUA HOLDEN
LEAH GOODMAN
MEGHAN JONES
JOSE EDY LEYVA
BRADLEY CHARLES MAPLES
JONATHAN ZINSLI
CHRISTOPHER MUELLER
GRANT J. PIONTEK
KAREN PRICE
EDWARD VINCENT ANDREW RAMOS
LINDSAY WAKEFIELD
JOY FEULING ERB
KEITH KRAGE
SCOTT MULLEN
TIMOTHY PARFREY
HAVEN CROSS
ERIC OGDEN
JAMESON GILES PERSONIUS
ROCKY STEWART
MICHAEL TWOHILL
MATTHEW UNTERRINER
CLIFFORD WALTEIN
TIM GOAR
RICK WILLIAMS
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NOVEMBER BIRTHDAYS
SEBASTIAN ALDECOA
DAVID
CHRISTOPHER BAYZE
THOMAS CLARK
RICKY HAMRICK
ZACK EIDE
DIEGO ANTONIO GADEA
CINDY HARTRANFT
SABRINA JOY
ISAIAH MARTINEZ
GENNA AYUP
RACHEL MICHELLE BENNETT
ELIZABETH DAVIS
CALEB FOSSLAND
RICK IVIE
ARAOS
EDWARD SAMUEL WEISS
TORRE LYNN CARLS
JORDAN FAULK
JIMMIE GANIS
JOSHUA SHAME
CHARLES "BUDDY" HOLLEY
LYSANDRA LAINE
ALEX ANDRU MENDOZA
EMILY RENEE SORKIN
ALEXIA ROBLES
ANTONIO TORRES
KRISTEN YODER
NICOLE LAJALLEE
JUSTIN MOHN
JESSE PLOENSE
CLIFFORD WALTEIN
NOAH ZACARIAS
NOVEMBER DEATHS
MARC APPLETON
KRISTIN BAILEY
RICK CASEJALUR
AIDON COPFER
RICKY M. GRIJALVA JR.
MORGAN LOR
TOM BATES
CHRISTOPHER SCOTT CURTIS
RICK HAMILTON
MELISSA QUINN MADONNA
NIKKI PACKARD
LYSANDRA LAINE
DANIEL MERENS
MICHELLE VICTORIA PADILLA
SUSANN SALMON
MICHAEL SCHNEIDER
PAUL THOMPSON
EMILY TRENT
CARL WALDENSTROM
RON
JEREMY BRIGHT
ARIANA PORTUGAL
JEAN E. STONE
CINDEE TURNER
LINDA VARGAS
WHEELER
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Thank You…
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The Compassionate Friends:
Providing Grief Support after the Death of a Child
"The Compassionate Friends is about transforming the pain of grief into the elixir of
hope. It takes people out of the isolation society imposes on the bereaved and lets them
express their grief naturally. With the shedding of tears, healing comes. And the newly
bereaved get to see people who have survived and are learning to live and love again."
Simon Stephens, founder of The Compassionate Friends
The words of TCF's Founder, Simon Stephens, resonate with those who have come to
The Compassionate Friends hoping to find a purpose in a life that suddenly seems so
empty.
Whether your family has had a child die (at any age from any cause) or you are trying to
help those who have gone through this life altering experience, The Compassionate
Friends exists to provide friendship, understanding, and hope to those going through the
natural grieving process.
Through a network of more than 650 chapters with locations in all 50 states, as well as
Washington DC, Puerto Rico, and Guam, The Compassionate Friends has been
supporting bereaved families after the death of a child for four decades.
The National Office and its staff also provide many levels of support to our chapters, as
well as individual responses to those who call on the phone, contact us through our
website, or send an e-mail that simply says, "My child has died. Help me!" We will be
here as long as you need us. That is our commitment to you.
Time has proven that in caring and sharing comes healing. We welcome you to The
Compassionate Friends. –This page from the National TCF Website
The Mission of The Compassionate Friends is to assist families toward the positive
resolution of grief following the death of a child of any age and to provide information
to help others be supportive.
OTHER TUCSON SUPPORT GROUPS
Listed below are a few other local support groups. In addition to these organizations,
Tucson has several other general grief support group meetings held at churches.
Information & Referral Services…..800-352-3792
Homicide Survivors, Inc…..520-740-5729
FOOTPRINTS-Pregnancy and Infant loss….520-873-6590
Tu Nidito/Children to Children…..520-322-9155
Alive Alone http://www.alivealone.org/ -for parent(s) who have lost their only child
MISS FOUNDATION http://www.missfoundation.org/
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Non-Profit Org.
U.S. Postage
Paid
Tucson, AZ
Permit No. 2296
A National self-help, non-profit organization for families who have experienced the death
of a child
THE TUCSON CHAPTER
P.O. 30733
Tucson, AZ 85751-0733
Return Service Requested
At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another
person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have
lighted the flame within us. ~ Albert Schweitzer
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