Gem Express Sp 16 wk 6 - the home page for the APA
Original Pool Amateur League —OPAL: “A real ‘GEM’ in YOUR Community!”
February 1, 2016
(Except when in parenthesis)
somewhere in this Newsletter are “5”
new APA Membership numbers just Merle Humphreys 2
waiting to be discovered. From the Jan
18th newsletter no one else found
their hidden number and called in to Donna Kingsbury, and
Join Michael. This means there’ll be a Cindy Saunders
party of 4 on the back page loser’s
corner this week for your viewing
pleasure. However, from the Jan 25th
Office: 503-243-6725 2 Cell: 503-381-6725
Newsletter Joe Lester (97221099) from Skyline Pub’s “No
Shot Sherlock” in the Gateway D.J. division found his number and called in.
So folks, there are 9 numbers out there for you to find this next week.. I’m sure one of ‘em will be yours
especially if you don’t go look! Seriously, all you have to do is call the league office with the magic words
“Gimme My Shirt” to win the prize if you see your number hidden. It will keep all your peers and everyone
from pointing fingers, laughing & snickering, giggling snorting, tee hee’n ‘cause they know that there will be a
shirt waiting for them since YOU failed to find yours!
We’re on the WEB:
TO SIGN UP
THE BIOLOGY EXAM: STUDENTS in an advanced college Biology Class were taking
their Mid-Term Exam. Their last question was: “Name seven advantages of Mother’s Milk!”
The question was worth 70 points, or none at all. One student was hard put to think of 7
advantages. He wrote: 1) It is perfect formula for the child. 2) It provides several immunities
for the child. 3) It is always served at the right temperature. 4) It is inexpensive. 5) It bonds
the child to the mother, and vice-versa. 6) It is always available as needed. And then the
student was absolutely stuck...he thought and thought, and finally in desperation as the allotted time was running out and the bell was about to ring signifying that the time allotted for
the test would be over, he quickly scribbled down: 7) It comes in two attractive containers,
and it’s high enough off of the ground to where the cat can’t get at it. He got an “A”.
BIRTH CONTROL FOR GRANDMA: A doctor
Retired after 40 years and
turned his practice over to a
younger Dr. One of the patients, an 80 year old woman called the practice for a
routine check up, and the
new Dr. asked her to bring
in a list of her prescription
medicines. As he went over the list his eyes got
big when he saw that the old Grandma had a
prescription for Birth Control pills. “Mrs Smith,” he
said sorta chuckling, “You do realize this is a prescription for Birth Control Pills?” “Yes I do” she
said, “They help me sleep at night.”
The 4 people listed below have been verified as losers from the Jan.
18, 2016 Newsletter If you happen to see any of these people let
’em have your best razzing. Laugh it up, and give ‘em the old “L”
sign,—and be sure & “Thank ’em” leaving a shirt in the box for you!
(97211204) who plays for Yur’s
“Bone In Hand” in the Downtown D.J. Division.
2–MATT POULTON (97217950) who plays for Silver Star ’s
“Dysfunction Friends Plus” in the Northern D.J. division.
3–JANA HIRST (97218023) who plays for Lu’s “Knee
Draggers” in the 97211028 Mid-West D.J. division.
(97220704) who plays for Fortune
“Mrs Smith, I assure you that there is nothing 4–BRUCE FARMIN
in these pills that could possibly help you to sleep Star’s “Behind The 8-Ball” in the Mid-West D.J. division..
at night!” exclaimed the new Doc..
The old Grandma reached over and patted
If you don’t want to be caught here for evethe Doc on the knee and said, “Yes, Dearie, I ryone to see, then look to see if your number
know that, but every morning I grind one of ’em isn’t hidden somewhere.
up and mix it into the glass of orange juice that
REMEMBER, it is possible for your number
my 16 year old grand-daughter drinks, SO, be- to come up at anytime. Therefore, pay attenlieve me, when I say it helps me sleep at night!”
tion to detail, READ THE NEWSLETTER..!