Sabbatical quits in election scandal

YOUR FREE NEWSPAPER
22nd May 2000
UNDER NEW MISMANAGEMENT!
JUDGEMENT
DAY
Sabbatical quits
in election
scandal
Stephen Day - still smiling
What have the Union Sabbaticals
been up to? Or more to the point,
what has Stephen Day been up to?
Page 2 of the Echo?
Until Monday 8th May 2000, when he
resigned, Stephen Day was your
Education and Welfare Sabbatical.
Stephen stood in and won the local
councillor election for St Luke’s’ ward.
In doing this he has given us a student
friendly voice on the local council, and
increased student voting in the elections.
During Stephen’s campaign, the Union
President received a complaint that a
student had had through their post box,
a letter with their University registration
number on it containing Stephen’s
campaign material. The University also
received a complaint and the Academic
Registrar Rex Knight stepped in.
Stephen, it seems, obtained the
addresses
legitimately,
back
in
November. He contacted the University
and claimed he needed labels for
distributing a student “Survival Guide”
which never materialised. He says he
then planned to use them, for a
campaign on Aids awareness.
He did use them for a campaign - his, a potential breach of the Data Protection Act.
Stephen has now been reported to the
Data Protection commission and the
Returning Officer responsible for his
election to Local Councillor. He has
resigned from his position in the Union.
There is nothing more the Union can do
about Stephen’s actions. The Union now
considers the matter closed. The
University is not issuing any more
statements about it.
See Page 2
THIS ISSUE IN
CYPRESS HILL
ELASTICA & TYRANT
It’s a Warne front!
Shane Warne, the cricketing
superstar, landed in England this
month to join up with his new
team-mates at Hampshire.
The Ozzie leg-spinner agreed
to join after lengthy talks with captain,
Robin Smith, during last year’s World
Cup. Smith convinced Warne, who
ended as leading wicket taker in the
tournament, to join the County
Ground ahead of many other offers.
Hampshire
have
also
recruited the England bowler, Alan
Mullally from Leicestershire. The left
armer, who was controversially not
awarded an England contract, is one of
the top five one-day bowlers in the
world and will add spice and zip to an
ordinary pace attack.
Despite the arrival of the two
stars, Hampshire have had a poor
start, losing freguently in the Sunday
League and playing poorly in the
Championship and the B&H Cup.
See an exclusive interview
with Shane Warne and Alan
Mullally on Page 55
WESSEX SCENE
WESSEX SCENE
Election Day!
Sex Scandal in Students’ Union
THE BACKGROUND STORY
Stephen Day had swapped his Education
and Welfare title for that of Councillor
Day following his recent election to
Southampton Council.
(not) Dave’s
Editorial
Like the tasty chocolate snack M&Ms, and equally as satisfying, your
newly elected News Eds. are the coincidently titled
Michelle&Michelle.
The Facts:
Michelle Gregory (right) has somehow ended up as a second year
Politics student.
Michelle Leach (left) is also a second year, but has found her calling
in the English Department.
They both have the same ringing tome on their same Nokia
mobiles - coincidence being their strong point.
Leach has developed a worrying obsession with Winnie-the-Pooh
and likes creative writing, including poetry, short stories and songs.
Thanks to the Wessex Scene, she has sod all time for anything else.
They may be female, but they can both give a rough definition of
the off side rule and can explain in-depth why Shearer just ain’t as
good as he used to be.
Gregory spends her life on journalism, music (dance, with
occasional reversion to Five) and stuff. Her worrying obsessions
are probably unprintable.
The Oscars Acceptance Speech:
Thanks to EVERYONE who supported us and got us elected and
a major thanks from us to gorgeous ex-news ed., Mr. Dave Aust
who did a fab job and taught us what the computer actually did.
May your legacy live forever sir.
The Articles:
Both eds. realise the controversial nature of some of the articles
in our first issue, particularly the rape story.We have kept within
all legal rules and feel it is an important story which deserved
publication despite its content. Should anyone want to raise any
matters on this, or any other article, please contact our e-mail
address.
The Campaign:
Basically we need writers and basically it looks great on your CV.
Convince your future employer that you are involved, creative and
a fundamental member of the student population and contact us
for more info.We also need a photographer because we can’t find
the last one.
The Conclusion:
This is the first issue of the Wessex Scene under new management.
Read it.
From Michelle and Michelle at [email protected]
(individual addresses available on uni web e-mail list).
Page 2
The former university sabbatical now
represents the St. Luke’s ward on the
Conservative ticket. Despite running in a
traditionally Labour ward, which included
Gately Halls, day successfully defeated
opposition candidates by 141 votes.
Stephen said: ‘I am very pleased to be
elected and I hope to be successful in
serving the people who elected me’.
Day’s decision to run came from his
disappointment with the current style of
governance on Southampton City and
his determination to do something about
it. He is particularly concerned with the
treatment of students, especially after
the recent controversy surrounding
multiple occupancy.
Day commented:‘We need young people
on the council that’s for sure. There are
problems between students and
residents, but we have to see that the
student population brings a lot to the
As children we are taught about
“stranger danger” and warned not to go
anywhere with people we don’t know,
but as adults this serves only to dull our
instincts as to how safe those we know
really are.
city and so does the University’.
Also on Stephen’s agenda is the
improvement of facilities for young
people in the city. Highlighting that
Southampton is a major city, he wants to
see more facilities in an attempt to
prevent against social problems and
encourage development in the city itself.
His ideas for such improvements include
the building of an ice-rink.
In addition, the new councillor is keen to
see a reform in current practices of local
government. He said: ‘Southampton is a
unique city and it should be governed
more effectively. I want to see people
stop playing one group off against the
other, such as the old against the young.
It’s good that there’s new blood involved
- it can’t do harm in any institution’.
Day, unsurprisingly, is very proud of his
political achievement, but is also proud
of the hard-working team, who
supported him during the hectic election
campaign and everyone who turned out
to vote for him.
By Michelle Gregory, News Editor
When I grow up I’ll be Tony
Rape on our doorstep?
The alleged rape of a female student in the
union building is set to shock the entire
student population..
Whilst drunken flirting is not unexpected at
such events, other worrying incidents have
come to light. Before Easter, one female was
cornered by cash machines near the
downstairs coffee bar by a fellow student.
She managed to escape only by threatening
to burn him with her lit cigarette.
The report of rape has raised concerns over
student safety, particularly in deserted and
potentially dangerous areas of the union
itself.
How highly would you trust someone
you had known for five years, told all
your woes to, sat up all night with in your
first year drinking coffee and highly
valued as your friend? How would you
feel if you saw them for the first time in
a year? Let me tell you how you’d feel.
You’d throw your arms around them and
give them the prodigal son’s welcome.
You’d resume your feelings of trust for
them reverting to the same kind of trust
that, as a baby, you used to give your
mother when she returned home - a
trust comprising equal parts of need and
love. Take it from me, the need of his
friendship was something I’d felt
immensely in the months prior to that
night.
Later that evening I went off alone with
him so that we could talk in private (not
easy in the middle of Poundstretcher).
We wandered down to level 2, which
was deserted and barely lit. The next
thing I knew we were in a toilet with the
door bolted behind us. I freely entered
the room, but once the door was bolted
I realised what he was intending.
I begged him not to. I begged him not to do
it to me. I begged him not to wreck the
relationship I had just started with
someone new. He wouldn’t stop. I knew
there was no way out and just stopped
objecting. A sense of the inevitable made
it seem easier just to get it over with as
Drunken debauchery?
Monte Storm
Recent thunderstorms have caused
havoc at Montefiore Halls of residence
when lightening struck on-site bar The
Boiler House.
The impact of the strike took out fire
alarms in the bar and near-by blocks. As
a result the bar had to be temporarily
closed due to strict fire regulations.
Popular weekly events, including karaoke
and
the
Monday
quiz
with
Poundstretcher DJ Robin Ingall, had to
be cancelled. Events are being
rescheduled and the hall JCR, together
with wardens, are working to sort out
the problem.
Ex-Monte Vice-President Aman Khan
said:‘It sounded like a car bomb going off.
There was this massive noise and a
blinding bright light. People even saw
flashes of light actually inside the Boiler.
It was really scary because you’d never
think that Monte would get hit like that.
I was so shocked by the amount of
actual damage caused’.
It is thought the bar lighting rig resulted
in the strike, but the impact was not
confined to the Boiler House. As well as
fire alarms, electronic locking systems
operating on block doors were knocked
out and several residents saw lightening
hit a public bench in one of the open
quads.
Take 700 students at varying states of
inebriation. Add more alcohol, food, live
bands and a bouncy castle and you get
the annual Wessex Lane All Day Event.
Montefiore, Connaught and Stoneham
Halls are again teaming up to produce
the now infamous All Day event planned
for Friday, June 9. Held on Connaught
grounds, entertainment also includes a
human table football, coconut shy,
bucking bronco, penalty and tug-of-war
competitions and DJs. The ever-popular
day will end with a party beginning at
7pm which organisers promise will be a
great way to celebrate the end of exams.
Despite well-recorded student rivalry
between the Wessex Lane halls, the
event is now seen as a collective chance
to put summer fun before any
differences.
Monte ents manager Rich England said:
‘The All Day Event is all about fun ad the
togetherness of it all. Basically it’s this
mahousive event and it goes on aaalllll
day’. JCR members Stuart Belcher and
Stu Janes agreed: ‘It’s wicked’.
Tickets cost £5 and are available from
the Wessex Lane JCRs. Everyone is
welcome.
By Michelle Gregory, News Editor.
It is hoped residents will be back in The
Boiler House as soon as possible.
By Michelle Gregory, News Editor
soon as I could. He never once stopped
telling me I wanted it from the time we
waked into the room until he tried to tell
me afterwards that we could still be
friends.
The only term anyone has managed to
coin that describes what happened was
‘coercive rape’. Yes I gave in and there
was indeed no physical force involved
until his bodyweight pinned me against
the wall. Yes, I tried to convince myself
that I was enjoying it once I knew there
was no way out - it was the only way I
could trivialise what was happening in my
own mind. This means that what
happened is very hard to try in court as
rape.
I spent an hour talking to a sub-warden
that night before I was persuaded to go
to the police. I spent the whole night in
the rape suite being cross-questioned
and having to give my full medical history
to a disapproving police doctor who
seemed to feel that, because I take antidepressants, I somehow must be lying.
Despite having been scrupulously careful
with previous partners, I needed blood
tests (my worst fear), an internal
examination and probes to take cell
samples. I have to wait three months
before I can have an HIV test. I have had
to go over what happened time and time
again with friends so that they didn’t
hear it from someone else.
I have needed sleeping pills and Valium to
get through daily life. In short, my life has
been devastated. He just wandered off
back to his job and his life away from
Southampton.
I freely went off with him so nobody
worried that I was gone for a while. We
were behind a locked door so no
amount of security patrolling would have
helped. It all happened right under the
noses of people who assumed nothing
was wrong because I had introduced him
to them as an old friend. I don’t blame
my friends - it wouldn’t have occurred to
me that something was wrong in the
reverse circumstances. I don’t blame the
person who signed him into the union
that night - I would have done the same
for him.
Yes I let my guard down - we all trust
people too much at times, whether by
necessity, loneliness or misjudgement.
Trusting too much is no crime, taking
advantage of trust is the worst violation
of friendship and of trust itself.
And the moral of the story is? Take care.
Don’t put yourselves at unnecessary risk.
Be careful who you trust. Buy a rape
alarm (union shop, £1). Don’t go to an
isolated area with anyone and don’t be
talked into anything you don’t want to
do. Let my experience be a cautionary
tale to you all.
And why am I writing this? Some kind of
sick publicity scam? An attempt at selfcatharsis? No. It’s too late to change
what happened. I have to get in with my
life and start to trust again. However, I
will absolutely not allow this to happen
to anyone else. We must all keep our
eyes open to the fact that this does
happen to people like us and we mustn’t
allow ourselves to be complacent and
assume it won’t. I have made security
recommendations to the union and am
writing a booklet on rape for SAIC.
It’s Your Union? - AGM Report
Thursday, the 11th of May, a day that will
surely go down in history as, erm,
Thursday the 11th of May. The only
mildly interesting thing to happen on this
day was the annual general meeting
(AGM) of our students’ union. Not since
the showing of “Three Men and a Baby”,
had the debating chamber been so very
nearly quite full. On the agenda were 10
motions, including one passed about
accommodation
standards,
the
introduction of an off-licence service in
the union bars, and the movement of the
education and welfare sabbatical to
Highfield. Also passed were motions reaffirming the union’s commitment to a
better communication, and to fight
against top-up fees.
250 students were not there. Thus, the
meeting was abandoned with immediate
effect.
Now if I was a proper scientist - and not
doing a dodgy social science degree - I
may have noted a pattern. One whereby
all the winnable motions a certain band
of union-hacks proposed having been
discussed, the less winnable ones were
not discussed. Either way, it is hardly
conducive to get more people into the
union. Now it may be that Mister Liam,
for the past two hours or so, had been
assiduously yet slowly counting the
people. When he had finished he
immediately leapt to his feet and called
for motion A. It could be the timing was
mere coincidence, who am I to say?
With all the relatively un-contentious
and union-hack proposed motions out of
the way, the last three motions dealt with
the NUS, or an off-shoot known as
Wessex Area NUS to be precise. As this
was about to be debated, our own union
editor, Liam Ascough, had other ideas.
Calling for procedural motion A (the
number of students be counted), it turns
out the constitutional requirement of
Those undiscussed motions still have a
chance of becoming policy, if they are
proposed in union council. I think it true
to say, they are less likely to pass into the
substantive at the council, than at a
general meeting of students. The fun of
student politics. Let us hope 250 turn up
for next years AGM.
Chris Isaac
Some bouncy people
Page 3
WESSEX SCENE
WESSEX SCENE
NUS Conference: Our Delegate’s Report
Pale grim pasty-faces, flat caps, whippets,
pigeon lofts, cheap housing. Yes, of
course, I’m talking about the North, or
to be specific Blackpool. Which this
Easter holidays saw the spectacle of NUS
annual conference. A bunch of happy
wanderers (Val-de-re, ha ha ha ha ha)
from Southampton University left New
College at 6 o’clock one rainy morn,
heading northbound. Blackpool - for
those of you who have not been there is a sort of tackier, colder, poorer,
grubbier, an all together northerner
Bournemouth. Only without as many
right-wing reactionaries.
Arriving just after lunch at our hotel
(four course meals, swimming pool etc.A
gravy train at your expense? Course
not!), we soon left for the Winter
Gardens, and into the throng of the
politicians of tomorrow. Conference ran
from 9ish to about 11ish each day, with
breaks for lunch and dinner. Resulting in
any socialising fitting in around these
hours, needless to say not much sleep
was had by anyone.
The serious business of adopting or
revising policy, and electing next years
executive had to be done within the
three days conference ran. Interesting (?)
points I noted were the NUS’ reaffirmation to fight tuition fees and stop
the introduction of top-up fees.
Conference also debated the Rover
crisis and heard speakers from the illfated Longbridge plant, and a motion on
the Northern Ireland peace process.
More significantly conference passed a
motion which denied the right to the
platform, by racist or other undesirable
NATIONAL UNION OF STUDENTS
groups. This may sound desirable, but
denying the right of speech to others
(however offensive their remarks) is not,
I believe a road the NUS should go
down.
Is it worth it all? Is a question you could
well ask. I believe around £300,000 is
spent on conference, whilst only £30,000
is spent on campaigns (I think these
figures are accurate, but I might have just
made them up). Whilst speeches were
made about reforming, with smaller
regional conferences, it is unlikely to
occur in the near future - if ever. Each
year since it’s existence, conferences
hears the mandatory ‘we must
modernise or die’ speech.
More interesting to the hacks are the
factions within the NUS, too many to
It’s good to talk - officially!
The technological revolution hit a bit of
an iceberg when it was announced that
mobile phones were detrimental to your
health. Despite trying to convince us all
to invest in a personal hands-free kit,
subsequently thought to be even more
hazardous to the brain, leaked findings
suggest that mobile phones are in fact
safe.
An extensive ten month study was
undertaken by twelve neurologists and
physicists to investigate claims that
radiation from the handsets “boils your
brain”. However, the findings of the
investigation concluded that mobile
phones are NOT bad for your health.
relief from mobile phone companies,
there will be further tests into safety that
will follow the findings of the current
report. These include a call for tighter
controls on emissions from mobile radio
masts and the positioning of these masts
away from schools.
In the meantime, everyone can follow
the immortal words of Bob Hoskins “it’s good to talk”.
Michelle Leach
Page 4
A phone, recently
You’d probably like to know all the
gossip about the sexual shenanigans of
the delegates (boy was there some), and
about the legend that became Room
145. Unfortunately I’ve no ambition to
be head hunted for the Daily Mail to
write that kind of shite, so just use your
imagination.
Having had something of a leisurely
lunch on the afternoon of us returning
to Southampton, the coach left without
me.Which was quite a bad show I think.
Fortunately, president-elect Marie
Heracleous thought it would be a good
idea to return for myself and my
luncheon companion. For which I thank
her profusely, and hope she continues to
stand up for students in the same
manner. Beholden to a Tory, what will
become of me?
Chris Isaac
Not so fun in the sun
Despite calls from the NHS to be aware
of the risks of skin cancer, the
government are being less than cooperative in helping the process.
countries have demonstrated, the
reduction of costs causes a drop in
cases, so perhaps this is the approach
that should be taken here.
Whilst unsuspecting shoppers prepare
to pick up a bottle of suncream from the
shelf, few know that quite a considerable
proportion of the price actually goes to
the government’s ever increasing piggybank.
Experts have also accused manufacturers
of overcharging, marking their products
up by anything up to 500%! Horrifyingly
enough, a £12 bottle of cream is thought
to cost as little as 70p to make.
It has been discovered that for every £12
spent on suncream, £2.10 is paid in VAT.
Suncream is currently classified as a
luxury rather than essential product,
although the levels of skin cancer have
hit an all time high.
It was thought that the side effects of
using a mobile included memory loss to
brain tumours, although they are yet to
be given a clean bill of health. The
investigation, to be published this month,
states that a mobile heats up your head
by one tenth of a degree, whilst the
temperature of the body varies by one
degree during the day anyway.
Whilst there is likely to be a huge sigh of
note, but it is generally agreed, that
whilst they mildly loathe each other, they
all hate Labour Students. It is somewhat
odd seeing the ungodly alliance of both
Tories and Socialists Workers united.
Which reminds me, I had a nice
conversation with the chaps on the
Conservative Future (formerly the Young
Conservatives: a rose by any other name
etc) stall. I managed to gain a rather nice
Tory diary with a picture of William
Hague in it (which I shall be defacing
later no doubt). I chanced my arm,
holding out for one of their ‘save the
pound T-shirts’. Half way through my
right-wing reactionary, nothing good has
come from Europe...in Europe, not run
by Europe...Johnny foreinger...common
sense
revolution...bureaucracy...they
can’t even leave our sausages alone
speech, one of the gents pointed out the
‘Britain in Europe’ goodie bag I was
carrying - having wrangled it from a
previous stall. I made my excuses and
left, making do with the diary.
My favourite faction are the Socialist
Workers. But they do tend to obscure
your view if you sit behind them.As their
constantly standing up applauding one of
their own, or haranguing anyone else.
Either that or they’re waving their
banners, or holding up copies of the
‘Morning Star’, this is all done with the
subtlety, diplomacy and tact of a Tom
Jones hip gyration. Even when sitting
down, the dread-locked hair they all
seem to possess, tends to enshroud the
platform.
Health experts claim that there is no
difference in buying own brands but the
more ‘exclusive’ labels are using their
name to make it a very expensive
purchase.
The price cannot be
decreased until VAT is removed, leaving
the problem of skin cancer in the hands
of the government. They appear to be
putting the desire to make a profit above
the welfare of the public. Other
Poorer families are thought to be at an
even greater risk, especially through
being unable to afford proper protection
for their families.
With approximately 50,000 new cases of
skin cancer being diagnosed every year
and around 2,000 deaths, perhaps the
government should this summer help
others to have some fun in the sun.
After all, with a lotion industry worth in
excess of one hundred thousands
pounds in the UK alone, surely the
government could afford to abolish the
VAT?
Michelle Leach
Return of the toastrack...
To most people the best way to spend a
bank holiday weekend is a nice relaxing
weekend at home in the company of
copious quantities of alcohol. However
to a group of 6 students and two older
members of society the May Bank
holiday was any thing but relaxing for this
was the weekend that the Toastrack
returned home, for the first time in at
least thirty years.
blighted by my inability to add up in my
head! After that, we dropped off the
elderly passengers at a hotel where yet
another interview (this time on radio)
was done publicising the vehicle rally and
our vehicle. For the afternoon, it was
free time and we filled it with a few
photo shoots in Conway, a town a few
miles from Llandudno which has
medieval castle.
To fill in those who are now completely
lost let me explain. The Toastrack is a
1928 Dennis G open sided bus owned by
the SU Engineering Society and from
1928 to 1958 it worked in Llandudno,
North Wales, taking holiday makers on
trips round the local mountain! In 1958
a group of 5 Eng. Soc. members found
the bus in a council compound, bought it
for £25 and it came south to
Southampton where it has been based
since then.
Saturday and Sunday were rally days with
a 12:00 parade around town. Again the
T’rack was one of the stars as it carried
the civic party at the head of the parade
in front of huge crowds. The highlight for
me though came on the Sunday. Quite a
few old Llandudno vehicles have been
saved from the scrap heap and on a
gorgeous afternoon five of them,
including our T’rack, went out on a
parade around the Great Orme.
The current set of Toastrackers (that
mad species of student who spend most
Wednesday afternoons pulling the thing
apart) had raised the idea of taking the
Toastrack home during last year and
arrangements were made to attend a
vehicle rally up in Llandudno over the
May bank holiday weekend 2000. It all
sounded so simple; 250 miles up there,
attend the rally and come 250 miles
back. However the Tírack can only do 25
miles an hour, burns a gallon of petrol
every 10 miles and is 71 years old!!
27th April 2000 dawned fairly bright and
sunny and 08:00 saw the Tírack leave its
cosy shed and head north complete with
passengers wearing clothes more akin to
the Arctic than Britain (for even at
25mph the wind blowing through the
vehicle is bitterly cold!). Slowly we made
our way north, the record queue was
probably caused near Marlborough
where half the Army seemed to be out
on manoeuvres and the queue of traffic
stretched back behind us at least a mile!
Hooray for single-track roads!
Apart from a brief break in Worcester
for lunch we trundled along all day
(infuriating yet more motorists near
Shrewsbury!) finally reaching Llandudno,
via the A5, as the sun was setting at
20:45. There was really no one more
relieved and elated than yours truly as
we entered the seaside town-we had
done it-THE TOASTRACK WAS HOME
and still under its own power!!
The next day dawned bright and sunny
which was lucky as the morning was
spent on publicity work. First up, was a
trip around the Great Orme (the local
mountain referred to earlier), a trip that
the T’rack should have needed no help
with, carrying the local mayor, some blind
people dressed in Edwardian costumes, a
couple of local journalists and a TV crew.
Halfway round yours truly had to do an
interview for the TV camera, a novel but
straight forward experience only
Early on the Monday morning we bade
farewell to the Toastrackís hometown
and started out on the long journey
home. Pounding along at a sedate
average of 20mph (the longest queue of
the day was probably caused whilst
grinding up Wenlock Edge, breasting the
top at just about walking pace!) one
Toastrack, six students and two adults
returned to Southampton by 19:30.
University leads way in
smart card technology
Southampton University is to take part
in a major initiative to utilise smart-card
technology in Southampton.
The EU-supported SmartCities project is
intended to make life simpler for
residents, allowing them to pay for goods
and services, and customise the cards to
reflect their own interests. “The smart
card technology will dramatically simplify
everyday life for citizens... throughout
Europe,” said Gerard Leger of partner
company Schlumberger.
Initially, Southampton residents will be
able to use the cards to access city
services such as transport, education and
entertainment without carrying
cash. The card’s settings will be
able to be updated through the
use of public-access city
terminals, internet-connected
PCs and dual-slot mobile
phones.
materials, including Individual Learning
Accounts and Records of Achievement.
The university will also be involved
through use of the card on the UniLink
bus service, university catering facilities
and sport and recreation access.
The university’s IT Innovation Centre at
Chilworth will also be playing a key role
in developing the web-based technology
required.
The SmartCities project will run for an
initial 30 months, with the first cards
expected to be issued by the end of this
year.
David Aust
Students from New College will
be involved in trials of how the
cards can be used to access
advice, information and learning
The only problem the vehicle had
developed (bar losing a section of
exhaust pipe on the A303 which we later
screwed back on!) was a slight knock on
the engine which will, no doubt, be
investigated soon. However, after over
650 miles of running in just over five days
I think we will settle for that!
Will the Toastrack be going back to
Llandudno again? The people up there
would love to see it again tomorrow if
they could but the trip really is too much
for the bus (and its crew) to do every
year. To someone who has been involved
with the vehicle for the last 2.5 years this
was undoubtedly the highlight of my
university career. If more students come
forward in the next few years to keep
the grand old lady in tip-top condition
then who knows? Perhaps in 2002...
Finally, I would just like to express my
thanks to those in the Engineering
Society who supported us in our mad
plan by providing much of the fuel
money. Also Len Ricketts and his rally
team up in Llandudno for a marvellous
welcome and great hospitality and Geoff
Thomas who provides much of the
guidance and know-how with which to
keep a 71 year old bus in working order.
For anyone who does want to join in, the
Toastrackers meet at around 16:00 at
the Toastrack garage, next to St
Margaret’s Hall in Hulse Road. You
would be very welcome to come along.
Richard Hay
127F ABOVE BAR STREET
Opposite Tyrell & Green
ALWAYS OPEN LATE
£1.00 OFF ANY FOOTLONG SANDWICH
NOT VALID WITH ANY OTHER OFFER
Page 5
WESSEX SCENE
WESSEX SCENE
New College News
Another day, another dollar. As loan
cheques arrive at New College, everyone
is celebrating in style... far be it from me
to point out that hall fees are due in a
week or two [malicious grin at others’
misfortune]. No, I’m sure that there are
advantages to not getting a loan, but the
only one that comes to mind is that I’m
broke all the year round, rather than in
fits and starts.
Nevertheless, New College is teeming
with new trainers and t-shirts, courtesy
of the recent influx of money. Which is
nice. I certainly wouldn’t want to be the
one to discourage the purchase of
hundreds of fluorescent garments.
Honestly, go ahead, it’s your money (kind
of). I’m sure it could be favourable for
the Environmental Science students,
when some endangered species of insect
is attracted to the garish colours. In the
meantime, the rest of us will just have to
get out our sunglasses.
Oh, enough cynicism. Summer has finally
arrived, and as the lecture theatres get
emptier the common becomes more
crowded, almost as if the two facts were
somehow connected. When the sun is
out it is suddenly acceptable to be drunk
in public in the daytime (which can never
be a bad thing) and a trip to Bedford
Place proves that we at New College are
to have a meeting with someone who
can get to New College more easily than
Highfield, or for a Sabbatical to stray
from the S.U. office to the canteen/
smoking room/ somewhere where (s)he
will definitely not be found, a la Mr. Day.
But I can see that this could work, and
we have to try something as the system
this year has not been a great success.
aware of this. Summer is undeniably
more fun, as men wander around hall
topless, and women virtually topless. Yes,
if we were to forget the fact that exams
were nigh, summer would be fab.
But bad news lurks as the end of term
draws closer. As of September, New
College no longer has the curiously
shorter number of teaching weeks that
we had all grown to love. Indeed,
someone has had the terrific idea of
bringing our holidays in line with
everyone else’s, and scrapping Reading
Weeks. Whoever suggested that we
need more inter-campus integration, eh?
Talking of integration, you may
remember that last issue I mentioned
the possible removal of Education and
Welfare Sabbatical from our site, and the
plan to move the post to the Highfield
campus. This still looks like a firm
possibility, however a proposal has been
suggested that this is replaced by
sabbatical ‘surgeries’ where each
Sabbatical officer is mandated to visit
New College for a set time every week,
so that our students will be able to
contact them more easily. Theoretically
this is a good idea, however I can see
potential problems. It would be easy for
an officer to use their New College time
Basically, this idea relies on the integrity
of each Sabbatical to use their New
College time to really benefit our
students, and I have every faith that they
will do this. Next year’s team, more than
ever, seem to be committed to helping
New College students and along with
Emma Hogan, our new president, I’m
expecting great things.
Right, I’m off to sunbathe now. If you’re
in my next lecture group, I’ll see you at
the common! Have
fun, Kate xxx
Remember,
all
complaints,
New
College stories, and
letters of adulation
to the usual address:
k m h 1 9 8 @
soton.ac.uk.
End of the
long summer?
Remember when you were at school, the
one thing that most people looked
forward to from about September
onwards was the beloved six week
holiday? If the education authorities have
their way, this will become a thing of the
past, just like our student grants!
We have all become aware of the
changes taking place in the Higher
Education
system
but
these
‘improvements’ are not going to be
isolated to those of us at university. Our
siblings are next on the development list.
Teachers nationally are threatening to
strike over the plans to create a five
term academic year and cut the
traditional long summer holiday.
Members of the National Association of
Schoolmasters Union of Women
Teachers, are refusing to tolerate
changes that would reduce this precious
recuperation time to only four weeks.
They have deemed the educational
benefits proposed to be “myth” and state
that the short break is likely to be
covering the hidden agenda of changing
their conditions of service and working
time.
Whilst travel agents might reduce their
peak summer season in accordance with
the shorter holiday, should it be
enforced, this might be the only positive
point. It is thought that this proposed
change is merely for the sake of change
rather than for the explicit benefit of
children or teachers.
This important factor might affect those
who are considering entering teaching, as
well as those already in the profession.
The threat of action and in particular
striking, shows that changes to the
education system should be considered
seriously. Who knows what might be
under the knife next?
Michelle Leach
Kate Holmes
Uni Transport: Christo strikes back...
of lager, their radio and above all their
witty conversational skills. Or even the
pleasant young man who sat next to me
and engaged me in conversation on one
trip. Only moments later we had
become such good pals, with the words:
‘I’m not sure I should do this’ he decided
to put his hand on my, erm, toilet parts.
‘I’m certain you shouldn’t’, I retorted.
Being far too repressed to mention what
he’d done, I continued our conversation
as though nothing had happened. If only
I’d thought, I could have had some
protein-packed mayonnaise for my hot
croissant - an opportunity missed!
Waugh, huh, what is it good for...?
Reading through the last fine edition of
this paper, my eyes stumbled upon a
letter of complaint concerning one of my
own articles - about public transport.
Needless to say I was upset, hurt, slightly
tearful even, yet secretly overjoyed that
someone other than myself reads the
impious nonsense I write. Not only that,
but three times the letter refereed to me
personally: is that fame or what?
My article - as ever - had spurious news
content and was more of a light hearted
meandering rant. If anything it had more
to do with people than transport, or
moreover the public element of public
transport. I could have written a ‘serious’
high brow piece about transport (yes I
could!), but then who would have read it?
I must however point out, a few
presumed inaccuracies in John E.Waugh’s
letter. Neither I, or my family own a car,
therefore I do not have ‘my own personal
facility’, unless you include my bike. If I
were to own a car it would likely be a
Mini Metro, complete with Greenpeace
sticker, and I would probably only use it
to get to and from my tree-hugging
conventions. John, you have no need to
convince me to buy a uni-link pass, this
See, we all love uni-link
year as with last, I already own one. As I
recall I didn’t actually mention uni-link
anyway, but you did well to publicise the
facility in your letter. I do however stick
by my words, to buy a car as soon as you
can. Car ownership is set to rise, and as
more and more people become able to
afford them, why should I dictate they
cannot? What we need is sensible car use
and cheap, efficient, viable alternatives to
using cars.
It isn’t only buses that trouble me.
Although nothing can quite match the
experience of a double-decker bus at full
pelt, taking the racing line through the
Flowers estate. Strange things tend to
happen on trains too. Why, for instance,
does my two and a half hour train
journey home invariably take three and a
half hours? Why does the woman at the
Take-Away at the station heat my ham
and cheese croissant, when I tell her I
want it cold? How about the pleasant
journey I spent, sat at the table seat with
two newly released prisoners, their cans
In the spirit of conciliation, I suggest that
both John and myself turn our efforts of
anger at someone else - a common
enemy is what we need. I have just the
man too. Namely, one Joe Bloggs, or the
bloke who does the road test feature for
this paper.You can hate him for aimlessly
polluting
and
congesting
the
environment, purely for his own selfish
enjoyment of driving incredibly
expensive cars. And I will hate him for
having the idea, but not thinking any
dealer in their right mind would let me
anywhere near their cars to review them
for a student magazine.
A SUSU publication - Copyright 2000
Editor-in-Chief - Charlie Pugh (SUSU VP Communications)
e-mail: [email protected]
News Editors - Michelle Gregory and Michelle Leach
e-mail: [email protected]
Features Editor - Katherine Bruce
e-mail: [email protected]
Academic and Union Editor - Liam Ascough
e-mail:
Sports Editors - Helen Dapre and Martin Ashplant
e-mail: [email protected]
Advertising - Vicky Horrigan
e-mail: [email protected]
SUSU, Highfield, Southampton SO17 1BJ
Tel: (023) 8059 5230
Fax: (023) 8059 5252
Email: [email protected]
The views expressed are those of the authors and not necessarily
those of the Student’s Union.
letters to the editor
Dear Editor,
I was extremely irritated by the
article written by Philip VernonJones in the 17th March 2000
edition of the Wessex Scene on the
above subject.
I am a first year student who has
had to endure the introduction of
tuition fees and, whilst I agree with
Mr. Vernon-Jones that this is a big
problem for most students coming
to university, what choice did my
fellow first years and I have when
this was introduced? We were, and
still are, powerless to prevent the
government from making decisions
like this. What is he trying to say?
We could not have just refused to
cough up or we would not be here
now! What can the “Apathetic
Students
of
Southampton
University” do about this measure?
I would be interested to know what
Mr.Vernon-Jones suggests!
Also, as far as his assumption that
some of us are unaware of the
introduction of these fees or that
we could possibly be unaware of the
student loan, shows how ignorant
he must be if he believes that this is
what our student body thinks. How
can any student survive without
their loan? (Pitiful as it is!) What
makes him think that he has the
authority to generalise about the
beliefs of such a mixed group of
people?
Is Mr. Vernon-Jones in any position
to comment on such a burden as
these fees when I’m sure that he
does not even have to pay them. He
appears to be shooting himself in
the foot when he says that the socalled “chronic apathy” in the
university is as a result of the great
number of students just like himself:
the privately educated, privileged
students.What is his point? I’m sure
that if there is a large number of
privately educated students here,
this has nothing to do with the fact
that we are
not all busting a gut in
demonstrating for a change that will
go unheard by the powers that be
anyway. Maybe I am being defeatist
but it could be that we are just
being realistic.
As far as the issue about voting for
the NUS Referendum, it was not a
case of apathy but I’m sure that for
many students it was a case of not
voting for something for which they
were ill informed. I personally did
not vote because I was so utterly
confused by all the snippets of
information that were generally
thrown my way.
I take offence to the generalisation
that university is just “a three year
jaunt” for “kids from the Home
Counties”. I am from Tunbridge
Wells and I certainly do not just see
my university life as just a chance to
mess around spending “Daddy’s
money”.The expenses incurred will
certainly not be a drop in the ocean
for my parents. I intend to work as
hard as I can and make the most of
this opportunity that is not available
for everyone, due to the
extortionate expenses that mount
up nowadays.
I would also like to point out that
when Mr.Vernon-Jones says that he
thought that if he came to
university it would be an
experience that would “broaden
the mind” and it has not, then I
think that he would appear to have
had a very sheltered and
disappointing life here. Anyone who
thinks that this university is just a
finishing school for “kids from the
Home Counties” is making a
sweeping generalisation and is
proving himself to be narrow
minded, patronising and grossly
inaccurate. I am a part of this
university and I refuse to be
referred to as apathetic, which I do
not consider myself to be (as you
may have
guessed from this response!). I
reject the patronising tone in which
he addresses his “readers” in
general.
I am public school
educated yet I depend entirely on a
student loan to pay my hall fees and
to live. That, and the money that I
make myself at my job. I object
being talked to as if I were ignorant
about the “idea of a student loan”. It
is something that I find terribly
offensive as it is clearly not true.
Claire Salmon and
Natasha San Juan Simpson
Please send letters to [email protected] or drop them into the office
or our pigeonhole in the union concourse
Chris Isaac
Page 6
Page 7
WESSEX SCENE
WESSEX SCENE
WE NEED
YOU
Students
OCCUPY
Who says students don’t care?
Anger over tuition fees, top-up fees and
increased hall fees is causing a spate of
occupations and demonstrations around
the country. Traditionally the property of
socialist students at institutions such as
SOAS and Goldsmiths College, this
method of protest is spreading into
more traditionally quiet unions.
Recent events in this area have
been an occupation by Warwick
University students of their university
Senate building, another occupation at
Sussex University, and a rent strike at
Cambridge. In light of the decision at
our Unions’ AGM on Wednesday 10th
May, to support mass action, this trend
nationally is an interesting one.
Wessex Scene
and
The Edge
need writers
The most recent activity in this
area has been at Kent University. The
students there decided to continue
occupying the Senate Building, with
individual students refusing to move until
the University back tracks on its policy
for examinations and comes out against
top - up fees, condemning Lord Owens
proposals.
The Union President and
education and Welfare Officer met with
their Vice - Chancellor to try and come
to a compromise but he refused
adamantly to come out against top - up
fees. The Education and Welfare Officer
Gavin Hayes said of the situation:
‘Top - up fees are now a real
and dangerous threat, we cannot sit back
sleeping while our universities are
privatised through the back door.
These students are defending
their right to a decent education, they
have taken action as the university is not
listening I personally support their
actions’.
Soon our union will join in this
national struggle against student
hardship. Maybe next year we will see
some significant changes for the better.
Charlie Pugh
Education and Welfare Sabbatical Elect
Page 8
“KEEP IT STUM” is the latest attempt
to keep us all quiet as we stumble home
from pubs and clubs in a state other than
sober!
The city council have teamed up with the
University and Crime Concern to
produce
beermat, posters
and
matchbooks (pictured above) The
campaign was originally developed at
meetings of the Bevois Town Community
Action Forum, to address the issue of
noise from pubs and clubs along the
Bevois Valley.
The hope is that the campaign will bring
students, the council, the publicans and
the locals together to address problems
of late night noise and nuisance
(including littering peoples’ front gardens
and knocking over rubbish bins!). The
beermats are designed to make drinkers
aware of the effect of their behaviour on
local residents in an inoffensive manner.
pride awareness campaign!
The beermats will be seen in a pub near
you (The Hobbit and Clowns and Jester
are definately taking part and the Gordon
Arms has shown an interest) at the end
of May. With any luck when you are out
celebrating the end of your exams and
then celebrating or commiserating over
your results, you won’t feel the need to
tell the sleeping residents about it.
This beermat approach has already been
tried and tested in Coventry which is
where the idea first came from. It is
hoped that it will be more successful
than the leaflet through doors approach
used in the past.
In general they aren’t interested at the
best of times - 2 o’clock in the morning is
not the time to start a student academic
Charlie Pugh
Vice - President
and Communications
phone 023 8059 5230
e-mail [email protected]
or drop into the office
Page 9
WESSEX SCENE
WESSEX SCENE
Take cover Tarantino’s here!
Throughout the year there have been
many rumours circulating around the
Union about whether or not there will
be a Graduation Ball this year. A number
of parties, including one of this paper’s
misguided reporters, have inaccurately
suggested that this year’s finalists would
miss out on their last black tie do at
university, but never fear
-
“The Tarantino Ball” is here. The
event will be held at Southampton
Guildhall on Wednesday 14th June and Ents have promised that it will
“rock”! The limited capacity at the
Guildhall means that this event will be
strictly for graduates (plus one guest)
only, but if you want to party with your
friends from other years too, then the
preceding Carnival at the Union on
Saturday 10th June will be open to all
students. With a format similar to the
Freshers’ Frolic, the Carnival will provide
an evening of more informal fun.
This year has seen the ball concept
head in a new direction towards a
themed evening of entertainment. The
subject in
The evening starts at 7pm for holders
of the 500 dining tickets and 9pm for 700
non-diners, with the fun lasting until 2am.
All tickets are now sold out.
The Carnival at the Union on
Saturday June 10th replaces the less
formal aspects of previous summer balls.
The event runs from 6pm right through
until 2am - and there’s plenty to keep
you occupied. Fairground attractions will
include a Ferris wheel, dodgems,
waltzers and a ball pond. Trust me,
these are even better after a few drinks!
There will also be fire-eaters, face
painters, massages (always a hit with
the boys!), balloon modellers, limbo
dancing and cheerleaders (another
one for the boys there I think!) to
enhance
your
enjoyment
(?!!!).
Participation in these WILL be an
essential part of the night!
question this year is
acclaimed film director Quentin
Tarantino. With “Reservoir Dogs”,
“Pulp Fiction”, “From Dusk Till Dawn”
and “Jackie Brown” amongst his
repertoire, at the age of only thirty-seven
he has become one of the hottest
properties
amongst
Hollywood
directors.
The live music will be courtesy of Bob
Marley covers band “The Trenchtown
Experience”, “Greased Lightning”
singing all the hits from ‘Grease’, with a
steel band and everyone’s favourite
cheesy discos sandwiched in amongst
it all. For those Steps fans amongst you,
the Montana Western line dancers
will be strutting their stuff, so get
cleaning those cowboy boots and
chewing that straw!
So what’s it all about? Well, as Nice
Guy Eddie said: “Okay, first things
fuckin’ last”... The Tarantinos will
provide the live music, with a costumed
show including tunes from the hit
soundtracks, short scenes of movie
action, movie dialogue, live gunfire and a
range of other special effects. The
Tarantino theme will be evident all
around, with the Guildhall decorated, and
a number of unusual attractions to boot.
And to get you in the drinking mood,
there’ll be a free “Twarpedoe”
welcome cocktail courtesy of Wessex
Scene drinks favourites Warp.
“Just Amazing Pictures” will be
using the latest technology to
superimpose your face onto those of
characters from Tarantino films and
provide a novel momento of the evening.
Old ball favourites will also be there in
the form of the Monte Carlo casino
and paint-on tattoos. And if you’re not
yet completely in the Tarantino mood
then the big TV screens all around the
hall will be playing the films so you won’t
Page 10
be able to escape!
The 1650 tickets for this event are
available to all students priced at £17
each including all attractions. Tickets are
available from the Ents box office now.
This year’s end-of-term
celebrations are going to be
bigger and better than ever
before, so whether you’re a
graduate or not, make sure you’re
where the action is. The
Carnival and “The Tarantino
Ball” will provide a great send-off for
the graduates of the class of the
millennium so beware - miss it, miss out!
And to quote Seth: “Everybody be cool.
YOU be cool.”
Food of various types will be available all
night. The bar will also be open till
1.30am with HUGE drinks promo
savailable on a range of alcoholic
beverages.
Page 11
WESSEX SCENE
Liam’s
Comments
WESSEX SCENE
SUSU AGM 2000
WHILST the weather might
have persuaded many to stay out in the
sun, discussions were hotting up in the
debating chamber at the Union’s
Annual General Meeting, held on
Wednesday 10 May.
Though AGM’s are often
synonymous with Actually Generally
Mundane, the SUSU’s agenda was, of
course, controversial and hard-hitting
as it set to make significant policy
decisions for the coming year.
Councillor Stephen Day.
Once again SUCA can be found
celebrating another election triumph.
After the victories of some of their
members during the union elections last
term, Education and Welfare Sabbatical
and former SUCA chairman Stephen
Day. Overturning a large Labour party
majority in the once safe seat of
St.Lukes, to be become the youngest
councilor on the city council and helping
to end 16 years of Labour controlled
Southampton. Cllr Day ran on a Prostudent ticket promising to fight for our
rights and stop the victimization of
students by the city council. With no
party in over all control of the council,
the fight to save Clowns and Jesters
(One of the most important issues to
most of you I’m sure) is on and can be
won! I wish Stephen all the best in his
new position and look forward to many
more hours of fun spent in Clowns and
jesters.
His resignation from the Union
is indeed a very sad situation for both
Stephen and the Union. I only hope that
Stephen fulfils his election promises and
keeps his links with the union and
continues to act as a voice for us in the
City. A voice we desperately need.
Marie Heracleous, President
Elect, set her presidential ball rolling by
launching straight in with a key issue of
her election manifesto - student
accommodation.
Her speech outlined her
concern that students were paying high
prices, an average this year of £49.27
per week before bills equivalent to
over 70 percent of their weekly loan,
for poor quality and often unregulated
houses.
With a clear majority, a
motion was passed for the union to
undertake an accommodation review
in the coming year, to assess the
current situation and produce a clear
set of standards for land
lords to meet before their
accommodation could be put on the
housing list.
However, concerns were voiced that
this wasn’t going far enough to review
the situation of students both in
the halls of residents and private housing
not on the list. To rapturous applause,
Chair and current President Graham
Poole assured all that Stoneham house ‘is
set to be abolished’ in the next two
years!
Union policy on tuition fees was
again brought under scrutiny by left-wing
advocate and former presidential
candidate Steve Tate and his group of
supporters.
After a series of proposed
amendments, heated discussion, the
Chair’s comic attempts at understanding
the complex ‘Union Bible’ of procedural
motions and demands for a recount,
three out of six propositions were
passed by majority votes. Though some
only had small majorities.
The Union’s new policy will be
to provide students with information on
non-payment campaigns and to liase with
University management to prevent the
need for mass action. However, a
proposal to encourage student nonpayment of fees was overwhelmingly
rejected due to illegality.
Graham’s true student motion
was agreed - the guest rule in the Union
has now been revised to two and the
Union bar to offer ‘off-sales’, i.e. offlicence, facilities (though still subject to
the approval of the Licensing Inspector
and the Clerk of the Justices).
will be re-allocated from New College
to the Highfield Campus. Although
satellite sites are now set to receive
more attention through a commitment
that all-sabbatical officers should visit
them at least once a month.
Prior to taking up her post as
Vice-President
Communications,
Krystal Miller pushed through a
positive revision of the general media
policy involving wider access to
students and the fostering of skills.Tate
was quick to amend this to include a
review of the possibility of e-mail
voting in the next union election.
AU President Scooby ensured
that no student could be excluded
from competing in University sports by
the British Universities Sports
Association’s
plans
to
limit
participation to those doing a course
involving more than 60 credits per
week.
And finally, after two and a
half hours and with what looked set to
erupt in mass argument, the issue of
Union affiliation to the Wessex Area
NUS was thrown out following calls
for a count which proved the debating
chamber short of 250 people to ratify
a motion.
So, why weren’t you there to have your
say? After all, it rained anyway.
In a controversial move, the
Education and Welfare sabbatical officer
Page 12
right
fights
Democracy in action on election day.
Could the same have been said for the AGM with such a low turn out?
Having spent three years working damn hard as a union officer I was
disappointed to find that upon being elected Vice-President I still faced the same, now
rather boring revelation in Wessex Scene, that I am in fact a Tory. Wow! Any one with
common sense realises it really doesn’t affect my ability to do my job or my dedication
to the Students’ Union and its members.
The reason there are two Conservative sabbaticals is because we do care about
the students and don’t just use our position to promote right wing ideals. This has been
evident through our work on areas as diverse as the Access Audit and Breast Cancer
Awareness campaign. The left is far slower to criticise the NUS for being politically
aligned. After all 6 out of the 7 last NUS Presidents now work for the party or are
Labour MPs.
As for accusations that ‘the right will have to learn that the Union is
constitutionally a democracy’. We are well aware it is a democracy. That is why at the
recent Union AGM when the number of people sank below 100, it was a Conservative
union member who called for a count of the number of people present. The number of
people required to make the meeting legitimate is 250! We were not even close and it
was not appropriate to make important decisions.
The left will have to accept there are two Conservative Sabbaticals and work
with us for we are all concerned with the same thing, getting the best for all students.
They should also remember the words of my favourite labour group member, it is:
‘a little right wing island in the sea of
Labour dominated student politics, but hey,
back
at least the services will be efficient and
the dead will get buried.’
Krystal Miller,
Vice-President Elect
Tales from the Safety Bus
The long break is now over and exams
are about to get underway. However, the
safety bus is still running. As you will
probably already know I tend not to
revise for my exams, even though the
next set are my finals and the last time I
will ever have to sit in a lecture theatre,
pretending to write about politics.
AGM
Another year has gone by and
again we are presented with an existing
AGM at Southampton Student’s Union.
In the main it was quite and peaceful
with everyone broadly agreeing about
the motions. Even the motions calling
for mass action on Student hardship and
tuition fees brought by the Free
Education group, passed with relatively
little trouble. Then came the vote about
the Wessex Area NUS. Cries of “Yeah
hear comes the same old debate” Could
be heard through the chamber. It was
brought to an abrupt end when a motion
was called and that was it. What will
happen next? We will all have to wait
with baited breaths. Who said Union
politics was boring.
Lucy Orsen
The
Response to:
Iron ladies seize power
Well my first shift back was
quite uneventful, with Karaoke being
cancelled. I guess students decided that
revision was a better option as this is the
time to pull out all the stops. Making up
for too many nights spent in the union
bar. Coming to the conclusion ‘why did I
chose this stubject and not something
else’.
Since returning I have had trouble
remembering exactly where all the roads
in Southampton are. As a result some
poor guy from New College got stuck in
the bus with me, whilst I tired very
unsucesfully, to find my way out of
Woolston. After an hour I think he was
relieved when I dropped him at home.
He fled the bus with lightning speed.
My shift eventually ended at
12.30 and I did manage to get myself
home along with all the staff from the
union.
next year as I have recently been
elected President of the Students’
Union.
I hope everyone has a great end to a
very hectic year. Except, of course,
for third year sociology students who
finished in May and are far too drunk
and stress free for my liking.
See you all on the bus,
Love Marie.x
Time is running out for me and
eventually I will no longer be a student.
Although you will still see me on the bus
Page 13
WESSEX SCENE
WESSEX SCENE
Don’t Vote for Apathy
The NUS Gravy Train made its annual
trip to Blackpool for the national
conference at the beginning of March.
For many of the 20 delegates sent by
the Union it was a return to a familiar
stomping ground but, for some, it was
a journey into the unknown. Would it
be a chance for enlightened
democratic debate on issues that affect
ordinary students in their daily struggle
to survive and study? Or a chance for
political factions to see who could
cause the most disruption and delay to
proceedings?
The election of Stephen Day
to the City council at the elections last
week, may have been bad news for the
Labour council, who lost control for
the first time in 13 years. For students
at both Southampton University and
Institute, it should be good news. For
the first time in many years we have a
student voice on the council. A council
which seems to be set on making our
lives harder and riding us from the city.
It is not the first time that a
former member of the University has
been in a position of power in recent
years, and been able to help students
directly. Our Two Labour Members of
Parliament,
both attended the
university and both were presidents of
the SU. It was a shame then to see
them voting to introduce tuition fees
and abolish the grant, making many of
our lives much harder. That is why I
hope that Stephen Day will keep to his
election pledges (then again which
politician does?) and support the
student at this university on the city
council. He won in part due to his
pro-student ticket, which he should
not forget.
Many students seem blissfully
unaware of the problems that are
facing us when it comes to the city
council. The
main problem that was highlighted in
the St.Luke’s election campaign, was
the closure of Clowns and Jesters.
If you didn’t already know, the
city council are planning to close down
our beloved Clowns and Jesters as
part of their campaign to tidy up the
area. It all started with the Hobbit
losing it’s late licence. It seems that the
City council does not like the idea of
us all together in the same place at the
same time having fun! I guess we
should be a home working on our
degrees. That is why the government
brought in tuition fees and abolished
the grant. They wanted us to stay in
and work more. By cutting our income
they probably thought that we would
stay in more, rather than getting
into futher debt.
The fact is the capacity at
Clowns and Jesters and the Hobbit
would never be much over 700
people. Hardly a large group when you
consider that Ikon has a capacity of
over 1,800 on it’s own without the
other parts of the complex included.
What then, is the problem of the city
council?
The plight of Clowns and
Jesters might be in the hearts of many
of you, but there is a far more serious
Page 14
President Reports on NUS Conference
For the 20 delegates entrusted to
represent Southampton University
students the first struggle was to get to
New College for 5:45am to catch the
Wessex Area ‘Fun-Bus’. This brought
together all delegates from the
immediate area including the Institute
and King Alfred’s, as well as delegates
from local FE colleges.
Picture Above: Premier Gerald Morkel and New National Party workers.
They had to fight for the right to vote. You already have it !
problem facing us.The council do not like
us all living in the same areas. They
believe
that we have turned some areas such as
Portswood into Student only areas. Ok,
when you walk down Portswood high
street it does feel that there are only
students about. The master plan of the
council is to disperse us across the city
and spread out the student population.
Students who live on roads
such as Gordons Avenue or Tennyson,
may find that there houses will not be
available to rent next year and that they
have to move to another part of the city
because housing isn’t available. Don’t
they understand that it takes time and
costs us money to travel in from other
parts of the city. It’s hard enough to get
in to lectures for 9am when you live on
the door step of the university, let alone
travelling in from Schooling or Woolston.
Is it still part of theirs and the
governments plans to get us to study
more, because it won’t. It will just cause
us more hardship and make our degrees
hard because we will have to add on
2 hours plus travelling time each day.
It would was good to see none
Conservatives helping Stephen in his
campaign, because they believed that he
would be a good voice on council and
represent us the student populous.
It was still sad to see that a
great amount of student apathy remains,
even when people are campaigning to
save Clowns and Jesters and the future
of the housing in the area. It appeares
that spending two minutes voting was far
to much effort for some students .
Although I’m sure they would be
amongst the first to complain if Clowns
and Jesters were to close and they were
to loose their house next year.
At the AGM the other day, a
motion calling for mass student action
was voted on.The Free Education group
in the university wanted people to
support their motion on the grounds
that 100 people had already been
involved in their demonstrations. I say
well done as it is good to see many
students campaigning for something they
believe in rather than “letting someone
else do it”.
What ever the out come of that
motion, it still shows that only 100
people out of 18,000 students cared
enough about tuition fees and student
hardship to come and campaign. I might
be strange in thinking that student
hardship effects most of us in one way or
another, and maybe some of our parents
as well. So why have more people not got
involved with this or other campaigns?
The City council feels it can
walk all over us because we simply don’t
care and by the time we do it’s far too
late to do anything about it. If we all
voted we would hold a large balance of
power in this area, but we don’t because
it’s far to much hassle and of course
“someone else will do it.
It’s
something I heard a lot during the
recent Union elections. We should all
take an interest in how our Union,
Councils and country
are run.
Where I come from in
Zimbabwe, people are being killed for
which political party they support.
Regardless of the risks, they are still
fighting for what they believe in and
are willing to give up their lives for
democracy. The same happened in
South Africa, where people gave up
their lives for the vote.
We have the vote and we
have a democracy in this country. Use
your vote and use your voice. They do
count. Don’t leave it to someone else
because one day it will be too late and
you won’t be able to make a
difference.
Liam. S. Ascough
Avenue Campus President
USE YOUR
VOTE AND
USE YOUR
VOICE
For those of you that have
never travelled from Southampton to
Blackpool by coach.... don’t! It’s too far.
The only saving grace is that it gives
you an opportunity to talk to people
from other unions - find out what they
are doing, what common problems
exist and, hopefully, think of some
solutions! Some people find that sort
of thing interesting and some don’t, but
it beats counting Eddie Stobbart lorries.
NUS National Conference is
held every year in Blackpool.About 1500
student representatives, who have all
been elected by their University’s
students, attend it. Its primary purpose is
to debate NUS policy on a range of
issues affecting students. Its other
function is to elect the NUS National
Executive, full and part-time officers who
each have a specific area of responsibility.
Imagine the Labour Party
conference at Bournemouth and you’re
nearly there - lots of mutual backslapping
and rallying speeches, liberally mixed
with angry denouncements of the
leadership for selling out and betraying
the grass-root members (you!) with the
government’s introduction of tuition fees
and the threat of top-up fees.
Most of you reading this will
remain serenely and blissfully ignorant of
the actual processes that result in NUS
policy being formed, and I hope that you
remain so because it can be quite
torturous.
Throughout the four days of
conference three priority motions were
discussed: Students at work, Education
and Funding, and International students.
Each motion has the original motion, the
‘substantive’, followed by a seemingly
endless set of amendments, all of which
have to be debated on their own merits.
To the uninitiated, of which
there are hundreds, it is quite often a baf
fling experience that leaves many
disillusioned by the apparent lack of
relevance of Conference to ordinary
students. However, enough debate,
usually takes place to provide the
incoming Executive officers with a clear
mandate for the year ahead.
It’s not all work and no play Blackpool, even during the off-season,
has enough leisure opportunities to keep
even the hardest drinking delegates
amused.
Any student at Southampton
University can stand for election as a
delegate to NUS National Conference.
It is supposed to be the one
opportunity for ‘ordinary’ students to
have their say in the running of the
NUS and as fully paid up members of
the organisation it is important that we
are involved in all the decision making
processes.
For more information on how to
become an all conquering NUS
Delegate or how to become involved
in the Students’ Union please contact
either
the
President
on
[email protected] or the VicePresident on [email protected]
Graham Poole
President of Southampton
Students Union
The Southampton University
delegation, one of the biggest at
conference, has a hard won reputation to
uphold and I am pleased to report that
your delegates this year didn’t let you
down. A couple proved exceptionally
committed to furthering integration with
rival universities, whilst a number of
delegates (Room 145 - you know who
you are) would no doubt like to have
performed better - well, at least once
would have been nice wouldn’t it boys!
Workstation Closures
It was announced today that
‘emergency’ controls on University
expenditurewill shorten Computing
Services workstation opening hours.
The long-awaited 24 hour
opening of the Murray Building
workstationclusters, instituted at the
start of this academic year, is unlikely to
continue next year.
The extensive new building
developments along University Road, for
which The University has had to raise a
£35m loan.Are being cited as the reason
for theses recent cuts, which are spread
across all faculties and budgetary groups.
Computing Services itself has been asked
to find another £175,000.
Late night opening of the
Murray Building and the workstations in
Building25 are also to be a casualty, as
they cost around £30,000 t run in
security costs.
Dr. Ken Heard, Director of
Computing Services, said that after a
steady reduction year by year, of studentto-workstation ratios.They were likely
to take a “dramatic dive” as availability
decreased and student population
increased.
The irony is that SUCS would
like to keep the extended opening hours,
andactually has the money to do so in its’
reserves, but is prevented from
doing so by the new financial regulations.
The revised budgets, introduced
in a paper to the recent Computing
ServicesCommittee may also mean the
curtailing of Helpdesk opening hours,
reduction inWorkstation replacements,
and the postponement of a project to
relocate andre-equip, one of the SGH
workstation rooms.
Whether more funding will
become available is yet to be seen.
Will Hargrave
Page 15
WESSEX SCENE
WESSEX SCENE
Boldrewood : Another Sad Story
If you have never visited the
Biomedical Sciences building Boldrewood (Bolditz to its friends),
then you will not have met our quite
lovely concrete construction on the
corner of Burgess Road and the
Avenue.
As with the rest of the
University we have our problems. Not
enough money for lab equipment, not
enough room.....
As Liam Ascough wrote in his
article on the Avenue campus in the
last edition of Wessex Scene, we are at
Boldrewood a satellite site. A lot of
what was said by Liam is relevant to
Boldrewood, and there seems little
point in me rewriting his article with
appropriate substitutions.
but I did not know that there were
supposed to be three representatives for
Boldrewood until election day - you
know the two days of the year when
Boldrewood suddenly appears to be a
good place to go for prospective council
members, well for five minutes anyway.
Even then its only to deposit hundreds of
those particularly annoying flyers that
end up strewn, unread, all over the floor
- save a rainforest, actually TALK to the
electorate.
My question is that firstly why
can the elections be a “success” for the
Elections Committee if not enough
people can be encouraged to stand for
positions, let alone have some
competition for these positions.
Perhaps if the members of the
Union Executive actually managed to
venture from there cosy offices and
came to talk to the students at the
satellite sites, or if we actually had an
office at Boldrewood for the
representatives to use such that it is
actually possible to communicate easily
with the union, this apathy may be
started to be reversed.
Whilst on the subject of Boldrewood
facilities, how does the University
Business Services justify the food
prices. For less than a sandwich and a
drink at Boldrewood, I can get a burger
and a drink at the main campus, but at
the same time the prices for a pint at
the Boldrewood bar are the same if not
less than those in the union bar?
Robert J Cardnell
3rd YearBiomedicalSciences
Boldrewood
Come and visit us on campus at
Southampton University Students’ Union
or call us for more information:
Tel: 023 8059 5237
Southampton University Students’ Union
Email: [email protected]
Open Monday to Friday 09.30 -16.00
Breaking the Barriers
of life here. We have just over two
thousand
students, a large proportion of which are
mature or part time students whose
dedication and enthusiasm is amazing
despite their home and work
commitments. They are a huge credit to
this Uni. as a whole, lets hope that
everyone will begin to realise this.
The view taken by the sight
executives and indeed the campus, as a
whole is that the new influx of
students is an opportunity to make
them, those students and ourselves in
years to come a greater part of
Southampton University. No one can
deny that integration between “New
College” “and” the other campus’ took
a while to begin, but it’s all falling in to
place now. ‘Unfortunately for us this
means no more reading weeks. Aaargh
There are, at the moment four
halls’ of residence in which the bulk of
New College first and some second and
third year students, with a significant
number of students who are taught at
Highfield and Avenue. Hopefully such
ploys to integrate the student body are
helping lay to rest any presuppositions or
misconceptions, on both sides.Also, with
our own bar, nursery, small SU building
and shop we’re getting by on these basic
services, though obviously there’s always
room
for
improvement
and
development.
For those of you who don’t
know much about New College
permit me to give you a brief glimpse
We have a superb Rugby team
based here still who has just elected a
new captain by the name of Jamie
Page 16
Whether it’s around the world air tickets or
coach travel to Scotland, we are here to
help you get about.
Visit our web site for special offers:
www.soton.ac.uk/~susu/travel/whole.html
I feel that the lack of interest
in the satellite sites by sabbaticals is
very aptly illustrated by the annual
union elections. At the close of
nominations for next years Union
Council, there was only one person
standing for Boldrewood President,
and no one for the other two posts. I
may have missed something obvious,
Hark, the end of term is
calling and summer is neigh they seem
to say. A great time coming up with
holidays, with its thrills and spills. For
us here at New College it is a sad time
also. We are losing our current level,
who are the last year who entered as
LSU students. It’s truly the end of an
era. ‘But we will survive by looking
onward to October and the students
arriving.
The best student Travel Agent
... as voted by National Express 1999
Howells who I’m sure will do as good a
job as former captain. Other clubs and
societies are scarce here and
membership of any at Highfield are made
difficult by poor communication and
transportation.The former will be easier
to overcome than the latter I fear. Yes,
Uni. link I’m talking to you! There’s a very
friendly atmosphere here and although
you may not know everyone’s name you
can be sure that you recognise most of
the faces. “
‘The communication barrier has
already begun to be broken down. The
President elect of New College (Emma
Hogan) and the sabbatical President
elect (Marie) have already started to talk
about plans for more social integration
between all the sites. It’s an exciting time
for all involved and I believe real progress
is beginning to be made. There are plans
afoot for an better-organised fresher
week with more collaboration between
the different sites. However this will only
work if other elements of the Uni. are
reasonable in the services they provide
to us (sorry, Unilink- you again).
More of us here are
venturing up to Highfield etc despite
the lack of transport after six o’ clock
in the evening. So, the next time you’re
at a loss for something to do in the
evening why not come and sample the
delights of New College, I’d
recommend Wednesdays especially
where you’ll find out the hidden
talents of our Rugby team! I shall say
no more. Later peeps.
Emma Hogan
President of New College SU
New
sponsors
for
the
Sports
section
A Third Year’s
Helen Dapre
Nightmare
For the past three weeks and
for that fact most of the third year. It
has been the time to write and submit
our dissertations. This masterpiece of
work that most of us third years,
should have started at the beginning of
the year, but blatantly in reality was
probably created within the last three
weeks. Ok lets be honest here. For
most of us it was over the last week
with many late night and many cups of
strong black coffee. It seems many
years ago now that we choice our title
and now I find myself asking why did I
chose this and not something else.
After many hours spent
shouting at computers and of course, at
Computer Services.Typing and retyping
many pages you again fill with relief that
the only thing left to do is to bind it and
then hand it in. Not too much trouble I
through. I’ve done the hard part, what
could go wrong. Unfortunately this
proves to be a large hurdle.
You arrive at the Union shop
with your work, which has seen an end
to your social life for the last few
weeks. To discover that their top
quality ring binding machine can only
hole punch one page at a time!
Considering the small fact that you
have two to four copies of at least sixty
pages or more to bind. What are they
thinking? Given that each year almost a
third of the student population have to
hand in dissertations to hand in, which
have to be bind. Is it too much to ask
for the Students Union to provide a
new spiral-bending machine or tow for
that fact? Please end this misery. Surly
it cannot be that expensive and would
be in the best interest of all students.
Then again it would also be of use if
the Union would train its staff in how
to use these mechanics
Emily Fagan
The observant amongst you may have
spotted the snazzy logo that’s appeared
at the top of the pages of the Sports
section in this issue... what is it all about,
I hear you ask? Well, those kindly souls at
madonsport.com are sponsoring us
being able to bring sports stories to you.
That’s all very well and good, but who are
they and what do they do?
madonsport.com is a brand new sports
website - with a difference. There are an
ever-increasing plethora of similar sites
on the web already, with new ones
launching every day, so what’s so special
about this one? This site focuses on the
bottom as well as the top of the sporting
world, and will cover a huge range of
sports. Lower profile sports receive as
much coverage as elite ones, from the
grass-roots level to the best on the
planet.
We all know top-level sport is
glamorous, but that’s only half the story.
madonsport.com wants real fans. Those
who would go to any lengths for their
local non-league football club, or have a
tattoo of their favourite darts player you know the type.They want to talk to
YOU, get feedback from YOU and know
what YOU think. Reports on the site
aren’t your bog-standard recitation of
the facts - they’re not afraid to get
controversial, providing an alternative
angle alongside the conventional stuff.We
all have the same opportunity to say
what we think and contribute to the
“fanzine-style” of the site. If you’re
frustrated because you haven’t got the
opportunity to say your piece, then let
them know. Even if no one else is
interested in your 800-mile round trip to
watch Carlisle United play out a
pointless mid-table 0-0 draw, they are, so
get in touch.
Coverage of university sport is in the
pipeline. This will develop as the site
progresses, but you’ll soon be able to
read about yourselves on the site. There
will also be links to other university
sports sites and they’re happy to listen to
what you want on the site. Here at
Southampton they’re sponsoring the
sports section of the Wessex Scene as
well as being involved with the AU
colours ceremony. So keep an eye out for
them - they’ll be visiting the university at
various intervals, so come and say hello you’ll find them next to the eight-foot tall
yellow guy! The only thing left to say is....
visit the site and discover it for yourself.
There are great prizes up for grabs in
weekly competitions, sporting trivia
quizzes to test your knowledge, and
things to make you laugh, relax and rant!
www.madonsport.com is where it’s at!
Are you madonsport.com?
Page 17
WESSEX SCENE
Lounging
Around
People who say students just lounge
around and do nothing all day couldn’t
be further from the truth, according to
four
enterprising
Southampton
students and a recent IT graduate.
The students have recently launched a
new information web-site primarily
aimed at students either studying or
looking to come and study in
Southampton.
The
web-site
www.studentlounge.com has been designed as a
resource for advice, information and a
gateway to purchasing through the
Internet. It also provides constantly
updated information on what’s going
on in the union and around the city.
‘The site will have everything you need.
We’ve got a guide to the pubs and
clubs in Southampton, live gigs, comedy,
cinema, sport, shopping, exclusive
discounts, big competitions with loads
of give aways, a constantly updated
events calendar, and other stuff that
you might not even know is going on in
Southampton.’
Keeping to its student-to student
platform, Student-Lounge is open to
feedback and suggestions, so why not
check out the site atwww.studentlounge.com, and let them know what
you
think
via
their
email:
[email protected].
Skydive Espana
Tom Canty
V FOR VICTORY!
Ever
fancied
throwing
yourself out of a perfectly
good aeroplane?
Tempted by cheap flights, booze and
blue skies, five members of the
university skydive club jetted off to the
Costa Brava over Easter to soak up
the sun.
The trip started well with Bryony
Tyrell and Gary Smith qualifying as
freefallers.This allows you to jump out
of a plane at 13,000 feet, fall for about
a minute, then, about 12 seconds
before you meet your maker, you
deploy your parachute and steer
yourself to a soft landing. If it all goes a
bit Pete Tong, you’ve got a spare
parachute, but it’s very rare you’ll need
it.You can also “brake” your parachute,
so if you time it right you can get a
really soft landing.
After a few days, the rain in Spain
threatened to put an end to things - a
bit like being in a ski resort and not
being allowed to ski. But after a few
The web-site is not intended to be
restricted to Southampton, and plans
are being made to expand into other
cities. Therefore, Student-Lounge in
looking to recruit students to work on
the site in other cities, thereby keeping
its student-to-student policy and
ensuring that a local feel is retained.
days, the blue skies returned and the
jumping continued. Tara Boyle carried
on racking up the fun jumps, while Tom
Canty got his licence to formation
skydive. On a sadder note, Dan
McGrath had a very unfortunate
landing and broke his ankle, but never
lost his sense of humour during the
rest of the trip. Get well soon!
ANIMALHOUSE
ROAR INTO TOWN
This aside, the trip was a great success,
with Southampton Uni. continuing to
make a good impression on the
skydiving community.
Although it might sound incredibly
dangerous, the chances of both
parachutes failing is about 1 in 55
million. Compared to say, driving a car,
it’s a pretty safe thing to do. It’s not a
cheap sport, but it is a massive rush. If
all this sounds like a laugh, come and
see us in the Union Bar on Fridays at
1pm.
Gary Smith pictured centre,
left and right.
Clubs & Socs
Clubs and Socs Officer
Will Harrison-Cripps
procedures, the Union holds an Annual
General Meeting, as the name suggests,
once a year, for ALL of the students at
the University to have a say in their
Union facilities and how they are
managed. As I am sure all of you reading
this are aware (I doubt it) the AGM is a
forum for setting Union policy for the
coming year, and most importantly, is
supposed to be voted on by the majority
of the students at the University rather
than the political hardcore and Union
hacks.
Here I find myself, sat thinking of a
theme for this fortnight’s Wessex
Scene Article. The only limiting factor
in the way of a subject that might not
involve me moaning is the rather sad
topic of the Union AGM. For those of
you that aren’t aware of Union
The simple fact that in order to get even
the clubs and societies committees to
attend the AGM, an email threatening a
lower Student Union budget next year
had to be sent out.Whilst this did result
in a possible hundred or so people
turning up, it should not have to have
Page 18
22 MAY 2000
been done.
Clubs and Societies that are affiliated to
the Students Union receive the benefits
of free rooms for Club meetings and
activities, Union minibuses, media
resources, and money to name but a few.
If Club presidents, treasurers and
secretaries feel that the Union and in
particular the AGM don’t affect them,
they are wrong. Policy is set at the Union
AGM, which affects the next academic
year. Union rooms for clubs and
societies, which are potentially to go due
to the re-building plans - (if it ever gets
off the ground) could be saved by the
intervention of but two individuals
deciding to write a motion (rule that the
Union must stick to). Instead, lack of
interest in the running of the Union has
lead to a lack of interest Union facilities,
and whilst Clubs and Societies, and the
students as a whole feel that they have
no reason to attend and take part in
the Union, nothing will happen.
I feel that this rant must now end, and
until the next Wessex Scene is due to
be written I will try to maintain silent,
but, the only way to stop these articles
is to write something better about a
Club or Society that you are involved
with, be it a few words generally, or
about an event that has passed, or
future plans. That is what should be
here, not rubbish from me.
To end off, Club and Society
registration for all non-sporting clubs
must be in before 9th June. If you need
the forms, collect them from me in the
AU office.
Thanks for reading,
Will.
CY PR ESS HILL
ELAST ICA
T Y RANT in
The
LONG GOODBYE
THE EDGE TEAM SAY THEIR FAREWELLS
SALAKO • MIDFIELD GENERAL • DANDY WARHOLS • FESTIVALS • LEE HURST • GAMES
THE EDGE
W
E
THE EDGE
L
C
O
THE EDGE TEAM
Digital Artificial Neohuman:- Dan
Artificial Lifeform Engineered 4
Xecution:- Alex
Artificial Networked Destruction
Youth:- Andy
Replicant Optimized 4
Destruction:- Rod
Troubleshooting Infiltration
Machine:- Tim
Machine Assembled 4 Nocturnal
Judo:- Manj
Published by Southampton University
Student Union
Copyright 2000
THE EDGE
S.U.S.U.
Highfield
Southampton
SO17 1BJ
TEL:- 01703 595230
FAX:- 01703 595252
EMAIL
[email protected]
[email protected] (Dan)
[email protected] (Alex)
Troops
Alex Tate Tom Neil, Michael McSharry, Darren
Pickering, Colin Welch, Paul Cornwell, Felix
Ezewuzie, Charlotte Devalde, Zack Munro,
Martin McGrath, Anna Jones
THE EDGE TOP TEN
Saying Goodbye To
Alex, Dan and Rod.
1. LIVIN’ ON THE EDGE
Aerosmith
Or ‘Dude looks like a Lady’,
eh Rod
2.
CHARLIE’S ANGELS
(THEME FROM)
3. GOOD RIDDANCE (TIME
OF YOUR LIFE)
Green Day
M
E
T
The News
with EDGE hound Andy Snowball
Metallica became the first recording artists to
sue pursue legal action against Napster last
month. The site (www.napster.com) which
allows the sharing of MP3 files between users
recently had to block the access of 317,000
users who were alleged to have infringed
Metallica’s copyright by swapping the band’s
recordings. The list of users was supplied by
Metallica drummer Lars Ulrich. The website
searches the hard drive of all users who are
logged on at any time and makes any MP3 files
they have available for swapping with other
users. On May 9 a Californian judge ruled that
the site is not merely a “conduit” for swapping
files, but is instead responsible for any
copyright infringements that are taken place
by its users.
Artists are slowly amassing in a legal
campaign against the site, including Dr Dre,
puff Daddy and Kristin Hirsch. Metallica
recently branded site users “common
looters” and Ulrich stated that the process is
“morally and legally wrong”.
Metallica famously credited tape
bootleggers in the eighties for bringing them
success when they were skint and unknown
because it allowed their name to become
known.
Currently, Public Enemy’s Chuck D is
the only artist who has spoken out in support
of the site, saying:“I’ve relished in the fact that
the majors are reeling from the impact of
Napster. If the record companies don’t share
the marketplace with the advent of more than
100,000 start-up labels coming into the game,
then they’re gonna really scream when
millions of heads all get hip to the
‘NAPSTERBOOGIE’.”
5. DON’T LEAVE ME THIS
WAY
The Communards
10. STAY BEAUTIFUL
Manic Street Preachers
Because Andy’s probably
thinking...“why don’t you
just FUCK OFF!”
Page 2
People who deliberately
download new rings for
their mobile phones from
the web. Sad Sad Sad
For us the last year has a learning
process. We’ve discovered much about
ourselves and each other. Here are
some of the things we’ve learnt.
1. Early Kylie minogue singles played on
33 instead of 45 rpm sounds
remarkably like Rick Astley.
2. Never ever trust a Tory! Ever!
3. Carol Decker (from T’Pau) sounds
like Theodore from Alvin & The
Chipmonks, while looking uncannily like
Bonnie Langford and Tiffany (‘I think
We’re Alone Now’).
4. That ginger from Ents is a tosser.
5. In his blue kagoul Rod looks and acts
uncannily like Liam Gallagher.
6. The Beta Band are wankers.
7. Britney Spears thinks she’s too big for
Rod (or should that be the other way
around!) and refused interviews all year.
8.A certain sabbatical trashed her, oops,
their office after only scraping home for
a second term.
9. If you want something done
properly do it yourself.
10. Shania Twain isn’t impressed, much.
And that’s about it.Thanx for reading.
Hope you enjoyed.
Alex & Dan, signing off.
WIN TICKETS T O
HOMELANDS
The Beatles are expecting to rip off their fans
some more with a greatest hits album due to
be released in the autumn. The album, which
will no doubt be ridiculously over-priced, like
the rest of their back-catalogue, is
accompanying the release of a Beatles
autobiography and is expected to sell more
copies than Michael Jackson’s Thriller (45
million copies), making it the biggest selling
record of all time.
Billie, or Billie Piper, as the reinvented pop
tartlet (attention all lawyers, we mean that she’s
sweet. In no way are we suggesting a lack of
virtue. We repeat, she is NOT a child prostitute,
she’s now 18!) got her thrup’ny bits out on
stage recently when they “fell out”. Rumours
that she was in a certain kind of gentlemen’s
If you are planning to come to DFC at Homelands look out of the Solstice
samplers who will be giving free cans of the energy drink - and boy are you going
to need it.
To win just answer this simple question.
Which seminal American rap group are headlining?
a) NWA
b) Public Enemy
c) Marky Mark & Funky Bunch
Email [email protected] with your answer. First answer wins
so be very quick.
POWER
On June 11, at midday the music will start at this year’s Power In
The Park. The event, which is taking place on Southampton
Common, is the sixth annual Power In The Park event organised by
the local radio station Power FM.
Heavily pop orientated, the free afternoon concert is this year
featuring the likes of Southampton University alumni Artful Dodger and
other local boy and former holder of the number one spot, Craig David
(recently spotted by The Edge in Asda). It’s not all garage and credible r’n’b
acts though, also due to play are genetically-modified, aryan, kiddiepop
SENSATIONS Scooch! And Dum Dums.
But don’t let that put you off, because in fine Power In The Park
tradition this year’s event will also see the (potentially embarrassing)
resurrection of mid-nineties pop icon Louise. Last year’s fading (or faded)
star spot was occupied by none other than former Take That crooner Gary
Barlow who provided the amassed throng of pissed-up students and local
kids alike with an irresistable extravaganza of singing to a backing tape,
including a spectacular rendition of Take That mega-smash ‘Back For Good’!!!
Last year The Edge went along in cynical mood, only to return at the
end of the afternoon converted to the pop cause having lost all dignity by
gettin’ down to likes of 5ive, 911 and the mighty S Club 7.
If you are prepared for a similar fate to occur to you then go along
this year. Alternatively, if you think you are far too cool then go anyway and
laugh at the fat men with sunburnt shoulders who are there with the family.
Additions to the acts already confirmed are still being announced
on power FM, so listen to stay informed.
ANDREW SNOWBALL
in
the
PARK
Scooch : Adolf would be proud!
Louise returns.
CANCELLED GIGS! TEARFUL FANS!
THE EDGE ASKS THE WANNADIES...
?
D
I
A
S
E
W
G
N
I
H
T
E
M
O
S
T
I
S
WA
Following The Edge’s rapturous
reception of the Portsmouth date
of their March tour those
Scandinavian indie popsters The
Wannadies cancelled their 4th
may gig at the Union.“Why? Why?
Why?” Muttered those distraught
‘die-hard fans.The Edge caught up
with vocalist / keyboard player
Christina to ask, “Was it
something we said?”
“No of course not. I can honestly say it
has nothing to do with Southampton”.
Pheew. But the question still remains,
what was the problem? At which point
our Scandinavian chum became
somewhat evasive. “Well it was a big
disappointment. In the eleven years that
we’ve been in this band we’ve never
ever cancelled a tour, or even a gig”.
Beyond, she says nothing, but from
other comments made during the
interview the general impression is that
all is not right in Wannadie World.
Rumours have been circulating in the
music industry and the press have been
hovering above the band like hungry
vultures, looking for gossip. Recently the
NME web site ran an article suggesting
an imminent split from their record
company for the last four and a half
years, RCA. Though the company was
quick to dispel such tattle a source close
to the band (an NME reference for
bullshit?) said that “everything was not as
harmonious with the record company as
the band would probably like”. Hmmmm.
Christina is quick to dispel such chatter.
“All of a sudden we read on the NME
web page and elsewhere that we’d split
up or that there are problems with the
record company or blah, blah, blah. But
none of that is anything that we’ve said”.
She continues,“so we can’t comment and
people have started to make things up,
which is unfortunate”. Nevertheless the
band can’t have been happy with the way
their fine new album,‘Yeah’ and the single
of the same name charted.
Released this March they charted at 73
and 57 repectively. That said it’s
performance is no reflection on the
quality of the album. As Christina points
out, “We’ve made a fantastic album that
we’re extremely proud of”. She also
revealed that the album was completed a
year ago, which makes you winder why it
has only recently seen the light of day.
“That’s up to the business people. It’s not
our call.We do things and then say get it
out now but they said “noooo, we have to
wait”.Though the conversation is cheery,
the impression is that she and the rest of
the band were frustrated at how much
time has elapsed since they last had a
record out, 1997’s ‘Bagsy Me’.
Forgetting the politics for a moment, the
new album ‘Yeah’ is best described as
‘cracking’. Filled with the Wannadies
special brand of crunchy power pop and
sweet harmonies their return is a
welcome one. Live they still pack a
weighty punch and with another clutch of
chunky choones the forthcoming festival
appearances at Glastonbury and
Reading/Leeds will be well worth
catching.
The March gigs were fantastic. The
Wedgewood Rooms were rocked to the
foundations. For Christina it was a great
tour marred only by one incident. Lead
singer Par had his guitar pinched.
“It got stolen on the first night of the
tour. Par is still grieving. This fucking
guy... people in the crowd and the
bouncers saw him walk out the door
with the guitar. You would have
expected them to stop hims and say
“excuse me but whose guitar is that?”
Hopefully no more problems will beset
Scandinavia’s finest exports.
New single ‘Big Fan’ is out soon.
Christina: She makes us wanna die!!
9. DON’T LOOK BACK IN
ANGER
Oasis
To all those nonces who’ve
wound us up in the last
year...we forgive you.
with SHANIA T.
EDITORIAL
The MTV DFC tent will be host to a night of pure hedonism, featuruing some of
the finest DJ’s around, including the legendary Paul van Dyk, Judge Jules,
Brandon Block and Alex P.
6. LITTLE SAINT
NICK (HAMPTON)
The Beach Boys
8. NEVER BE THE SAME
AGAIN
Mel C. & Lisa Left Eye
Lopes.
THAT DON’T IMPRESS
ME MUCH!!!
For the second year running the Matterley Estate, Winchester is home to te
Homelands one day dance festival. Featuring the cream of UK Garage, Drum n’
Dass, Hip Hop and Trance it is the UK’s largest dance festival. MTV Dance Floor
Chart sponsored by Solstice is offering one lucky punter the chance to win a pair
of tickets and a case of Solstice, which you will need if you plan to do the full 17
hours.
4. SAY HELLO,WAVE
GOODBYE
Soft Cell
7. THE ONLY WAY IS UP
Yazz & the Plastic
Population
Get ready for a chart-pop overload, it’s...
O
Page 3
THE EDGE
THE EDGE
S I N G L E S
Their silver space suits are belted up and glittery moon boots pulled firmly on,
Looper are the first band to truly embrace the electronic future in this shiny new
millennium. Looper 2000 are more vibrant and imaginative than ever. Subtly
blending Stuart’s soft vocals Karn’s heavenly whispers and squew-wiff beats
they’ve created the idea soundtrack to a hyperspace dream.
The Geometrid jumpstarts with of all things, a house track!!?! O.K. so it’s hardly
‘Toca’s Miracle’ but ‘Mondo ‘77’ is the closest these visionaries will get to the
Essential Selection. As album openers it’ brilliant: confounding expectations of
twee candy schlock and setting the pace for gorgeous album of uplifting pop. Hot
on its heel comes ‘On the Flipside’ and ‘Modem Song’ the latter is, as the title
would suggest be a song set to a dialling tone and is best described as ‘interesting’.
Rounded off by two joyous paeans to the electronic age, ‘My Robot’ and
‘Tomorrows World’,The Geometrid is an unusual excursion into a curious digital
future where synth beats and sugared harmonies rule.
7/10 Dan Martyn
DANDY WARHOLS
Get Off
(Columbia)
The orgasmic Portland
posse
explode
again,
splattering back with a
cowboy junkie, red-neck
gang bang of mid-career
Supergrass - giving it a right
good folkin’.
The Warhols have
swelled the ranks and the
influence
of
yee-haa
thumps right between the
thighs, whips the ass and
suctions a drooling frenchie
to the face. A catchy little
number. Reach for the
Kleenex, this is the best
bit...
Spot the tosser!
47 minutes, 22 tracks. The track listing includes ‘The Physical
Impossibility of Death in the Mind of Jerry Springer’ and ‘New
York Mining Disaster, 1941.’ So will it be subvertive, incisive pop
music, or will it be the sound of a self-assumed anarchistic
northern bunch bloated by the EMI lifestyle and trying
desperately to recover the glories of ‘Homophobia’? Have a
guess. Go on, out on a limb, say what you think. I will.
It’s a horrendous attempt at social commentary and satire; an
album that sounds like it was patched together in a day and a half.
‘Hey Hey We’re the Junkies’ samples USA news broadcasts of
(presumably) the Columbine murders before blasting into a
Monkeys theme tune rip off. ‘Pass it On’ tackles that pressing
question of e-mail chain letters and it oh so wants to be
Tubthumping and ‘I’m Coming Out’ is Younger Younger 28’s
without any of the tongue in cheek wit, style or, it has to be said,
talent.What You See is What You Get - so don’t be fooled by the
packaging. It looks alright.
Future man: Looper’s Stuart David
FONDA 500
Eight Track
(The Village)
Fonda 500 really are everything,
everywhere, all the time. It’s like those
rides at the fair - the ghost train. The
carriage rumbles on, round and round,
until suddenly, out of the eerie gloom
leaps The Beatles, before blindingly, the
Super Furries,The Monkees, flash in front
of your eyes. Beck and a ‘Machismo’
Gomez lunge menacingly. The grip
tightens, a white knuckle ride of
unpredictable glimpses of sheer
Humberside balls. Dig out the loose
change, give all your coppers to the
toothless gypsy with the money belt,
then it’s whooah, round we go again.
8/10 AL
PRECIOUS
It’s Gonna Be My Way
(EMI)
Precious: Also known As...Destiny’sSaints, Spears-Club-5 and B*Shite are the
Stepsford Wives for the 21st century!
They’re cyborgs programmed to sing
nicely, dance in time and look sweet as
cheery pie while the evil mechanisms
beneath that plastic skin spew mediocre
R’n’B in to the charts. Johnny Foreigner
rumbled them at last years Eurovision
Page 4
Song Contest but England’s stupid pop
pickers have yet to realise. ‘... My Way’ is
so vile a record that even Eternal
wouldn’t release it.Terminate them.
NIL POINTS DM
MO*HO*BISH*O*PI
Hear the Air
(V2)
Flicked Vs, trashy/thrashy hooks and two
shouty vocalists with sore throats, or
perhaps it’s their accents (Welsh). Like
being punched in the ear for two and a
half minutes. It’s nasty, leaves you battered
and red raw, but perversely enjoyable all
the same. With three tracks that scream
by in 5 minute 12 seconds, it’s punk rock
hit and run. PLAY LOUD.
10/10 DM
BELLE AND SEBASTIAN
Legal Man
(Jeepster)
Not this time for Belle And Sebastian is it
tales of teenage trauma and loneliness.
Instead we are given a record heralding
the start of summer in the form of a slice
of 60s soul, complete with chorus-girl
backing from The Maisonettes. It sounds
like the Eurotrash theme music, with said
Maisonettes imploring the hypothetical
legal man to “Get out of the office/And
into the springtime”. “Extend contractual
period/Me and you for ever more” adds
Stuart. Possibly a pop first.
7/10 AS
CLEARLAKE
Don’t Let The Cold In
What’s this shite about? Why do grown
men still insist on singing poncey
bollocks? Singer Jason Pegg sounds like a
girl, and seems to have trouble reaching
the high notes on crap B-side ‘Hang on
Every Word You Say’. Those unfortunate
enough to have seen Clearlake at the
Joiners in Southampton the other day will
probably know what I’m talking about,
and if anyone actually likes them, I’m
willing to pay them to have this CD.
JEFF BUCKLEY
Mystery White Boy
(Columbia)
TONI BRAXTON
The Heat
(Arista)
After a nearly four-year absence from
recording, Toni Braxton returns with The
Heat, her third album - with songs about
cheatin’, lyin’, undeserving men.
The opener, “He Wasn’t Man Enough,” with
all of its girl’s rage is an attention-grabber
musically which not only features trademark
Braxton vocals, but pretty much sums up
what her music is all about. Poor guy!!
With trademark vocals in hand,
Braxton doesn’t stray too far from the triedand-true formula of lush midtempo tunes
and ballads that made her a household
name in the mid- to late ‘90s. Prime
examples: the title track, “Spanish Guitar”,
“You’ve Been Wrong”, and “Never Just For
A Ring.” But it’s a looser Braxton who
shines on the 12-track set’s best cut,
“Gimme Some” (featuring Lisa “Left
Eye” Lopes), “Just Be a Man About It”
(featuring Dr. Dre), and the Rodney
Jerkins-penned/produced top 10 single
“He Wasn’t Man Enough.”
There are a few soulful
ballads, polished yet edgy, that will
appeal to her longtime fans, but this
disc will also attract a new generation of ears accustomed to
aggressive hip-hop beats. “The
Heat” is Toni Braxton at her best,
a no-risk disc for those who love
R&B.
8/10 Felix Ezewuzie
DAVID GRAY
White Ladder
(iHt)
CHUMBAWUMBA
WYSIWYG
(EMI)
9/10 AL
ECHOBOY
Kit and Holly
(Mute)
A sublime single taken from the band’s
album “Volume One” which is currently
arousing interest on the radio airwaves.
The title track “Kit and Holly” is
a soothing and light guitar-based track
that has been produced with an
electronic background that simply oozes
an early sunday morning, post drunk
atmosphere. “Sixteen Drums” has a
similar but more enhanced mood to it in
an
Asian/Hindi bongo and sitar style. A far
out, spaced out single, man!
6/10 APT
ALBUMS
LOOPER
The Geometrid
(Jeepster)
This is the long-awaited live album from Buckley, who died nearly three years ago
in the Mississippi (he never got more than his 25 metre badge, bless him-Eds.).
Compiled by Jeff’s mother and Michael Tighe, the guitarist in Jeff’s band, it features,
instead of one complete concert, excerpts from various concerts in the 1995/6
‘Mystery White Boy’ tour.
Opening ‘Dream Brother’ is indicative of Buckley’s style and
extraordinary talent (wot, swimming?). Starting so quietly, led by Buckley’s delicate
guitar playing and soft, gentle voice, it builds up to a huge crescendo (or is that
wave?) without ever stepping over the mark into, simply, noise. A pattern repeated
throughout the album on songs such as ‘Mojo Pin’, which juxtaposes the solo
Buckley with the dark and unrestrained power of his live band, but the inherent
beauty of the song still manages to shine through.
The album also provides the listener with a chance to hear songs from
‘Grace’ performed in a manner unlike the original studio versions. Most notably
on ‘Eternal Life’(ooooh the irony), whose jackhammer-style heavy rock makeover
comes out sounding somewhat, erm, wank.
Not only containing songs from ‘Grace’, there are unique cover versions
of jazz-standard ‘The Man That Got Away’ and Alex Chilton’s ‘Kanga Roo’. But the
closing medley of ‘Hallelujah’ and The Smiths’ ‘I Know It’s Over’ is what
demonstrates most clearly just how great the loss was when Buckley’s life ended.
8/10 Andrew Snowball
BRASSY
Got It Made
(Wiiija)
Arrogance is essential.All the greatest bands believe that they are the best.They’re
arrogant, they’re snotty and above all they’re A.G.G.R.E.S.S.I.V.E. Bold as...Brassy
cover all bases. ‘Got It Made’ is a rawkus mix of trashy bubblegum rock with a
smattering of Hip Hop beats. Front chick, the sassy lead singer Muffin Spencer is
of good pedigree. As the sister of growling blues ape John Spencer (of the Blues
Explosion) she half raps-half miaows like some cool gutter feline.
The proceedings begin in a floury of cut up samples and scratched noize.
Brassy then launch into the punkroc beat box frenzy of ‘No Competition’ and
‘Parkside’ where the aforementioned egoism bursts from Muffin’s lungs as she
sneers, “I’m all that, oh yeah / I got style, to spare / And you know I’m too much
for U!” At all times they are spiky and infectious. For those looking for depth and
intellectual provocation, go elsewhere. Brassy are about dumb riffs, loud beats and
screamalong choruses. ‘Got It Made’ is a brash and exciting debut, the kind of
record everyone hoped Elastica would eventually release, but failed.
9/10 Dan Martyn
Home recordings are rough around the edges, scratchy
and raw. Merz’s Conrad creates his work there and it
adds a sense of unpredictability to it.The album opener
(‘Please Forgive Me’) has a real Merz aura about it,
piano and triangles floating over underpowering drum
beats and hardened by David’s rasping voice. It truly is
an astonishing track.
An immense star in the Irish charts, David
Gray has made an album blending the most delicate of
folk tunes with the likes of ‘Please Forgive Me’, a track
that Paul Hartnell (Orbital) re-mixed into a laaarge
Ibiza tuuuune!
He sings with a slight reggae twist, spicing up
tracks like ‘This Year’s Love’ and the acoustic ‘Sail Away’
an added sense of destiny, adventure and an ultimate
poignancy. The lyrics are honest, open and emotion
spills from the headphones.
8/10 Alex Lowe
GO BUY IT...
P!NK
Can’t Take Me Home
(Arista Records)
From the amazing opening track, the
midtempo “Split Personality” I was instantly
drawn into her sultry, soulful voice and very
catchy hip-hop/R&B hooks.“There You Go”
is kinda similar to TLC’s “No Scrubs” - laying
down the rules to a lover over a disjointed
rhythmn track, but with more edge and more
bitterness! P!NK is definitely a chick with an
attitude. Elsewhere, she makes nice on
standard-issue ballads (“Stop Falling”) and litereggae proclamations of love (“Private Show”).
This album has to be the best album
I’ve heard in a long time.All songs have tight,
infectious beats and make you wanna groove
to the music. I liked everything from the
strong backbeat of “Most Girls” to the
very intimate “Is It Love” to the
choppy grooves of “Can’t Take
Me Home”.There’s also the
stirring ballads “Let Me Let
You Know” and “Stop Falling”
(her vocals are especially
smooth on that one).
If you want some
gritty R&B, go with Pink.
With her awesome voice
and hip-hop appeal, you’ll be
pleased. If you liked There
You Go, you will be taken in
with all of her other songs
immediately.This cd is off
the hook! She is definitely
an artist to recognize.
Very deserving for your
money!!
12/10! Felix Ezewuzie.
Page 5
THE EDGE
THE EDGE
The Edge check out life in the
ANIMALHOUSE
It’s hot outside. The muggy
Southampton air hangs heavy and
after an hour walk to reach the
Joiners you correspondent is
literally dripping. By nine o’clock
it’s not much better inside. Who
better to take to the stage than the
Sahara Hotnights. Not as you might
think, the latest the latest Tawney
Peakes flick, but collection of four
screamin’ Swedish chicks here to raise
the temperature just that little bit
more. They crank up the punk rock
engine with feisty feline attitude and a
penchant for red kinky boots.
Unfortunately no sound check for
them tonight, tonight’s headliners
‘Animalhouse’ ran late so the
support suffered... and so did our ears.
booted lead singer growled hard and
long. Unfortunately the words were and
the tunes were mashed together with
too much distortion making the tunes
largely indecipherable but their
Bangles/Slits riffage will blow away
listeners. Think Hepburn with safety
pins!
It’s not the ‘Hotnights that the
crowd have turned up to see, it
Animalhouse. Forming two years ago the
Oxford based band feature among
others, Sam Williams (guitar/vocals)
sometime producer to Supergrass, and
two former shoegazers, Mark Gardener
and Loz who used to be in some band
called ‘Ride’, heard of them? The edge
caught up with them hjust before their
pre-gig chow down.
Mark Gardner
I FOUND DRUMMING BY MYSELF
WAS A BIT BORING. I FELT LIKE I
NEEDED TO FLESH IT OUT
Animalhouse’s Loz on why he never went solo
Despite the feedback, the superfuzzed
bigmuffs knocked out some classic
shriek pop. Crunching guitars, howling
female vocals and so much oestrogen
as to scare the assembled crowd into
cowering three metres back from the
stage.The drummer beat the living shit
out of her skins. The legend ‘Elvis’
emblazoned across her chest she has
true rock spirit, the female Keith
Moon? Hopefully. The bassist jittered
like an epileptic at a rave and the kinky
So how’s the tour going?
(M) It’s going really well. It’s our first
proper tour.
See many of the old faces?
(M) Some, that’s what gets a bit bizarre
about it. Y’know its ten years on and
some of them are still there.
What do the old ride fans think of
the new stuff?
(M) They’re really into it actually. We
haven’t had one person calling out for
Ride tunes yet. They’ve all been coming
up to us saying they loved it.
Mark, were you tempted to forge a
solo career?
(M) Not really, no. I’ve got about half an
album’s worth but to be honest I don’t
find it that much fun. Sitting on my own,
doing and being responsible for
everything. That’s not really what I ever
had in mind. I wanted to be a singer in a
rock and roll band, do you know what I
mean?
(Loz) I found doing my drumming by
myself was a bit boring as well! I felt like
I needed to flesh it out a little bit.
Did you purposely set out to make
it different from Ride?
(M) I’m pretty different to how I was
then, that is why the music is different
now. . It’s not a conscious decision not to
sound like the past, although certain
elements of that will come through.
We’ve putit together with a few new
ideas and a bit of vision, hopefully make
it sound a little fresh. I got a bit
despondent because in the last five years
guitar groups haven’t been breaking any
new ground, well since the early nineties
really. I’m not surprised that the club
thing is doing so well because it’s a bit
more forward thinking. I find that scene
really exciting. If we can bring that back
into guitar music then I believed that
something fresh will happen. Which is
what we’re trying to do.
Do you know what position ‘Small’
got into the charts?
(M) It wasn’t chart legible; it was just a bit
of a feeler. The next one’s an official
release but to be honest it’s only
numbers. With Ride worrying about
numbers was damaging to what we were
doing. If things weren’t going in as high as
we thought they should then it was
deemed as less of a success. Success
doesn’t necessarily make you happy but
we want it to do well.
(L) We want people to hear it otherwise
it doesn’t make any sense to do it. We
want it to do well but that’s not the main
driving thing. When we got together it
was about making music.
Success isn’t the most important
thing...we’re gonna be big in Japan
anyway! Whatever happens we’ll be
alright there.
NME said you were terrible live...
They wrote so many good things about
us when at a point where I didn’t think
we were playing great, we were kids .This
is totally what I would expect from the
NME.They can’t take the fact that people
can change. It’s too much about haircuts.
I don’t know anyone who reads it
anymore. It used to be something that
was respected and read. This time
around we’ve got five people writing and
singing in the band. We’re all up for
collaborating. It’s so much more fresh air.
I’m amazed that people can only talk
about haircuts. I think it’s a bit of a full
stop really, trying to write about music.
How is Andy Bell?
(M) We played with Oasis in Cologne
about a month ago which was great.
(L) The three of us were stood
backstage, which felt a little strange. We
had to remember that we weren’t going
on together. Old habits.
(M) It was good. He’s happy now. Oasis
are looking and sounding good. He’s
playing bass so he keeps them steady.
(L): He had to take it all on the nose from
Hurricane #1,
What did you think of Hurricane
#1?
(M) I liked ‘Step Into My World’ and that’s
about it really. It didn’t do anything for
me and that’s just being honest. I
watched them and I wanted it to but I
just didn’t find it that interesting. Andy
was shining again. It wasn’t a group really.
What’s the sample at the beginning
of ‘Small’?
(M) It’s a torch. Its one of those things
that are gonna be around in the future.
(L) It’s a rechargeable torch as it runs out
of power it warns you, it says “Stop using,
please recharge, stop using, please
recharge”. It kind of represented the
feelings of our engineer at the time. A
year in the studio and no respite and it
just seemed to fit in the style of the song.
(M) We were sat in the studio one night
y’know smoking, and no one knew about
this torch. Suddenly this voice from out
of nowhere. We all lost it at this point.
We thought we were gonna have to have
brain surgery but it was actually the
torch.
...And with that Mark and Loz went of to
enjoy their lovingly prepared dinner.
Contrary to what the NME may suggest,
Animalhouse are a supreme live act with
a clutch of great tunes. Of particular note
was ‘Wasted’, a country blues track not
dissimilar to the Stone’s ‘Wild Horses’.At
other moments heavier sonics came into
play, particularly on ‘Animal’ and the
superb ‘Small’ the track B-listed by
Radio1 without even being a proper
release. Surely if Animalhouse continue
to get coverage like that and carry on
playing blinding grassroots gigs like this it
success whether Mark and Loz like it or
mot, won’t be far away.
KINGS
of
NIGHT
the
then it’s UK breakbeat. It’s just
a load of records that are tried
an tested that we love and
potentially people have heard,
but if they weren’t in the shop
the day it came out then they
won’t own. It’s not about the
biggest tunes of the moment,
CD’s like that are only relevant
for a month or so and then
you get tired of them. We
tried to put a load of stuff on
there that will keep going. You
might not play it everyday but
you might every six months
put it on and say I love that
CD. That was the whole
dream that we came up with in
the beginning.”
Lee Burridge and Craig
Richards together are the four
armed, hard living, Djing beast
known as Tyrant, gaining
notoriety for their all night sets
at some of the best clubs in
Britain , including The Bomb in
Nottingham and the maze that
is London superclub Fabric.
Rod manages to grab Lee for a
quick chat before he heads out
for his weekend.
Anyone whose anyone, now
makes an annual pilgrimage out
to Miami in April for the Winter
Music Conference and Tyrant
were no exception as Lee put it
they went out there “to go to a
few parties, hand out a few
records and get wasted.
Wasting is the Key word out
there, money, time and brain
cells. But we did a beach party
on the Saturday night and in the
evening I played back to back
with Sasha. It is a large dark
area of my life that Saturday
with eight hours missing, the
Jack Daniels was flowing and
then people go ‘Do you want
any pills?’ - ‘Oh alright then, if I
must but don’t tell my mum’.
Apparently it was great but I
don’t actually remember.”
Lee and Craig are going full out to try
and push Tyrant at the moment, playing
all over the UK to support their new mix
CD funnily enough called Tyrant (see last
issue for a review). Tyrant for those of
you who have no idea, well about
anything really, is Lee and Craig back to
back all night playing non-commercial
Lee Burridge
dance music playing one tune a piece to
allow time for all of those essential toilet
breaks. After playing with each other so
long the two have build an
understanding or trust that one of them
isn’t going to go off in some strange
direction making sure that the music
keeps its flow. Lee calls it “Easy, we’re
fairly aware of our own boxes and each
other’s, even if it’s a record I don’t know
that Craig’s going to lay down then I
know we’re not going to leap to bangin’
Techno or something. When your
playing on your own you can have a
panic, if the records running out and you
haven’t found the one that you are
looking for, but if you’re playing back to
back then it gives you ten minutes.”
So if there’s no bangin’ techno what is it
that you play exactly?
“The trance word that banded about
last year turned, what was cheese or
uplifting or handbag suddenly into
trance, and all of us who where playing
trance got lumped in with everyone else.
We have made a conscious decision not
to be lumped in with everyone else, to
try and play some different music,
something a little more underground.”
The Tyrant album is certainly not trance
and Lee describes it like this “There’s
quite a lot of San Francisco and west
coast tracks on the album, if it’s not that
With all the excited talk of the
moment about getting 24 hour
licences in Britain in next year
Tyrant are getting geared up
for 24 hour parties and are not
daunted by the prospect of
playing for 24 hours solid. Lee
describes it as “A dream come
true, but if me and Craig get
boring after so many hours
than that will mean that Sasha
and Adam Freeland will have to
play as well.” Sounds a little
tough but I reckon that the UK
could handle it don’t you? “Playing for 24
hours wouldn’t be problem, I’ve played
thirty hours on my own before now, in
Thailand, but with a lot of drugs.”
Lee Burridge made his name Djing in
Hong Kong before coming back to
England three years ago. By Hong Kong
standards lee admits that he felt like the
Sasha of Hong Kong even though he
never got aid more than £300 a set to
play for hours on end. After New Year’s
Eve Tyrant went out to Uraguay to play
for a month and by his own admission
lee had never been to a place where he
felt so ugly. “It was like a catwalk on the
beach, everyone is tanned, all the guys
have got six packs, the girls are slim and
beautiful and then there was us these
minging white English people after
caining it all night for New Year’s Eve
with Black rings under our eye
wandering around goin’ ‘Awight we’re
from England’”. Nice to see he kept up
the image of an Englishman abroad.
Tyrant will be appearing at
Homelands, and Tyrant the
Album is in the shops now.
TYRANT LIVE
Craig Richards
Charlotte went to see what all the
fuss was about at the album launch
party last month
Last month got off to a flying start
at Fabric with an explosive gig
from the tyrant crew. Although
founded back in 1997 as the brain
child of Craig Richards and
legendary DJ Sasha, they were
then joined by Lee Burridge. Now
Craig and Lee have somewhat
taken charge of the Tyrant sound
and at Fabric seriously ripped on
the decks, ensuring that Sasha’s
absence was barely noticed. The
two worked a impressive tag
teamed session delivering their
deep tech-house wizardry to the
gratuitous masses before them.
There was an endless supply of
cutting tunes and when Roaches
by Trancesetters was dropped in
the hedonism already established
was blasted to another plane.
Other tunes which hit the spot
included Monnface’s Overactive
and Better Make Room from Timo
Mass. The heaving mass of
kinetically charged clubbers felt
the beats from the sound system
wired through the floors beneath
them and were totally having it.
This made for an incredible
atmosphere although pretty
intense, certainly not for the chartdance, Top Shop styled cubimg
folk. All in all a wicked night. A big
thanx to the boys from Tyrant.
RGJ
DAN MARTYN
Page 6
Page 7
THE EDGE
THE EDGE
Damian Harris, Skint mainman and Norman
Cook’s boss shares his phat ass
with The Edge
In March 1995 an unknown employee of Loaded Records launched
his own Brighton based sub-label Skint, in order to release more
diverse and less house oriented music. Five years, a deal with Sony, a
plethora of ground breaking artists, a hugely successful club (the Big
Beat Boutique) and the small matter of one Fatboy Slim later,
Damian Harris aka the Midfield General takes time from his busy (!)
schedule to tell his story to the Edge.
Why did you start Skint?
Because I had the opportunity. I was working for Loaded records and there was
more and more interesting and diverse stuff coming in and so I started Skint to
release stuff that wasn’t house basically.
‘No, those records are for the last
manic half hour’. The club’s not about
playing really hard records right from
the off.
Did it annoy you that the media
labelled the music ‘Big Beat’ and
then eventually declared it dead?
It only annoyed me in that it was so
We wanted to do it so that we kept
everyone and the Sony deal suited us,
because I think the nature of label is that
we’ll always have one or two acts that
are capable of selling a lot. Sony know
what they’re good at and what we’re
good at and at the moment its going fine.
AT THE FRONT OF
THE GENERAL’S BOX
Your new Midfield General album
1.
EP by Only Child
(Grand Central)
2.
Anything on Repap
(sub label of Paper)
3.
My tracks!
(Skint)
4.
Israhop by Daniel San
(Skint Under 5s - out soon)
5.
Remix of The Rent by Gwen
Guthrie by DJ Chase (he
thinks - Bootleg picked up
in America)
“There were a lot of positive things
about Big Beat... DJ’s could play
whatever they liked. Then it got
popular and became very dull”
Damian on the scene he spawned.
Was the Big Beat Boutique founded on the same
non-house
philosophy?
Not necessarily.Around the time clubs were very
much house based, but I’ve got nothing against
house records at all, a lot of the music I love
is house based. I just didn’t like the certain
air, Djing was about who could play the
rarest tunes and there was so much good
music out there. We were more about
playing music that the crowd wanted to
hear.
Was it difficult to maintain the
play anything philosophy after
it got so popular?
Yeah, a little. I mean with
Norman (Cook, Fatboy Slim)
becoming as big a star as he
has, you do get a few people
coming just for Norman.
Would Skint and the
Boutique be where it is
now without Norman
though?
Well no obviously. I mean
it was kind of me and him
Djing-wise
at
the
Boutique so certainly on
that side. Norman has
been through such a run
of form and the last two
or three years have been
very exciting. And we
were pretty skint so yes,
he has been very handy!
Obviously I never wanted
it to be just Norman’s
records but Norman is
kind of the big time part
of our label. But the label
isn’t just about him and the
club isn’t just Norman’s
records. We have had some
people turn up at 10.30 and say
‘are you going to play any Fatboy
Slim?’. You have to say to people
FAT
Page 8
CONTROLLER
obvious what was going to happen. I’ve
done journalism and I knew that that
happens when a scene is sort of
pigeonholed and summed up.
Do you think a lot of people
jumped on the bandwagon,
releasing records with the
trademark big break and comedy
sample?
Yeah absolutely. You know there are a
load of people about who know how
to operate a sampler and you can see
them waiting for whatever next is
coming along and they’ll try for their
hit in that sort of area.They’re all trying
to make bad two-step records now.
That side of it annoyed me, I mean
obviously we did very very well out of
it I can’t deny that. But what annoyed
me was that there was a lot more to
Skint, it wasn’t just the big break
records. There were a lot of good
positive things about the scene that
they called ‘Big Beat’ that people
ignored subsequently. The fact that for
a DJ, everything opened up and you
could play whatever you liked. But then
it became popular and it just got very
dull. As soon as it gets named it gives
itself a sell-by date. But I’ve always been
confident in the music we put out. It
hasn’t just been Big Beat hit after Big
Beat hit.
You get sent a lot of tapes. Do you
get a lot of people trying to
emulate the Fatboy Slim sound?
Yeah we do! But what is good and what
I do like is that we get sent quite a
diverse range of music, because people
can be introduced to Skint by quite a
few different styles.You know we’ve got
the Lo Fi’s, Req... so people come to us
from a number of sides. It’s a brodaer
spectrum than you would think.
How did the deal with Sony come
about?
The thing with Sony came about
because we found ourselves in the
position that we had four acts that
were being chased by other labels, and
we’d already lost Bentley Rhythm Ace.
We didn’t want to be an A&R target for
other labels, where we’d put out the
first album and then they’d fly the nest.
Generalisation has been a few
years in the making. What can we
expect on that?
Interestingly enough I played it to
someone the other week and they said
‘it sounds the kind of record the boss of
Skint would make’. He said there seems
to be a part of a lot of the artists on
there. It’s quite evenly split between sort
of clubby, play out tracks, mid tempo
chuggers and more quirky slow things.
How closely knit is Skint as a label?
Is it all back to Norman’s after the
club?
They all get on, quite a few have moved
down (to Brighton), the Lo FI’s, the
Space Raiders and so all of that lot sort
of hang around. I’ve got one of the Space
Raider singing on my track and Indian
Rope Man and Si Begg helped me a lot.
It’s not so much all back to Norman’s
because Norman sort of lives in another
world! I mean he’s just mad, I played with
him at Fabric the other day and I’d
forgotton! So sometimes back to
Norman’s but not a lot.
What do you think gives Brighton
its vibe?
I just think it’s a good place to not have
much money. There’s a big student
population, a lot of whom stay.There’s a
big gay population, I think that always
helps to make a town.And you can walk
everywhere and there’s the hedonism
thing and the sort of dirty weekend
thing.
What advice would you give to
anyone setting up their own night
or label?
First check that there’s a need for it and
make sure you’re offering something
different. And make sure its something
that you feel really really passionate
about.After that you have to keep things
really really tight for the first few
releases money-wise.
Where did your cash come from?
Well, Loaded was up and running, it’d
been going for four or five years and
they were quite successful. I had it
drummed into me by Tim and JC
(Loaded owners) that you have to keep
The label isn’t just
about Norman and the
club isn’t just about
his records...Some
people turn up and say
“Are you going to play
any Fatboy Slim?” You
have to say no to
those people
Life’s a beach, eh Norm?
it really really tight. We had an account
with printers and an account with a
pressing plant. So the thing is not to lose
any money! Interestingly compared to
MoWax, James (Lavelle) used to spend
an absolute fortune on packaging and
making everything look really nice, which
I’d love to have done but we simply
couldn’t afford to.
Yeah I did, but I can let out a trade
secret here. Basically what I did is I
gave a DAT of it all. But I’d do the mix
and if I fucked up I’d stop it and do it
again.All the actual mixes are mine but
someone spliced the tracks together.
So I’m a bit cheating but not really full
on cheating! I have ripped some of the
mixes so I’m obviously keeping it real
in some ways.
What’s on the new mix album (On
The Floor At The Boutique)?
We’re trying to reflect the curve of the
evening at the Boutique. Starting sort of
weird, souly, hip-hoppy, anything while
people are coming in. Move to a bit of
hip-hop mid tempo chugging, through a
bit of house and then have it in the last
half-hour!
It would seem then that although
Skint isn’t skint anymore and the
scene it spawned was killed by
the media and saturated by
wannabes, the philosophy of
playing anything has remained
(to an extent) intact. And the
boss still can’t mix records
properly!
On The Floor At The Boutique is
out now.
Generalisation is out June 29th
Did you actually mix it?
Interrogation and blurb:
Colin Welch
Page 9
THE EDGE
THE EDGE
album is on two CDs, firstly, the
conventional hip hop album featuring
trademark Hill strings and Latin sounds,
with tales of life in the spotlight and the
usual drugs stuff. The second CD is six
tracks of rock songs featuring the likes
of Fear Factory and Rage Against The
Machine. They are separated, according
to Muggs, because “if you wanna hear the
rock stuff then listen to it, if you don’t
then you don’t have to”, but they are
sure you will want to.
in particular, the band feel quite strongly
- B Real: “They don’t bother us. It’s
always been like that, there’s always been
that type of music and it’s always gonna
be there. Unfortunately the fan as an
individual has to weed out what he sees
as the bullshit from the real shit. We
have our opinions and his existence, er...”
He tails off, then “I don’t listen to it if
that’s what you’re asking.”
The nature of the music they
make and the subject-matter which it
“That’s a bad habit I’ll have
to break in future, we
curse a lot, but fuck it,
y’know what I mean?!”
B Real on his dirty habit
ISN’T POT
BRILLIANT!?
The Edge expose Cypress Hill in demon-weed shocker!!!
On a sunny spring day The Edge
arrived
at
the
annoyingly
fashionable central London hotel
with the deliberately confusing
name (My Hotel, how clever) and
awaited further instructions.
Bizarrely enough, US brat-core
band The Bloodhound Gang are
hanging around in the hotel’s lobby,
and slightly more so there is a
fashion shoot taking place on the
stairs.
The Edge is led down to a
windowless room in the basement
where recent Cypress Hill single ‘Rap
Superstar’ is coming out of the speakers.
The collected journalists take their seats
Page 10
physically, in the form of the hemp leaf
images which adorn the sleeves, so it
seems only natural that the first
question is related to their favourite
pastime...
“Our
favourite
smoke?”
repeats B Real “The kush. It’s a strain
developed in Amsterdam which made
its way back to California, and that’s all
we smoke. That’s what I blessed the
room with right now.” B Real does
most of the talking throughout, speaking
with a soft, nasal voice totally unlike that
with which he raps on record
(disappointingly). DJ Muggs also does a
lot of talking, but Sen Dog, who arrives
in the room later than the other
in the room and wait some more whilst
the assorted members of Cypress Hill
enter the room and take their places at
the front. A cloud of smoke with an
unmistakable scent wafts across the
room and the assembled crowd turn
their attention towards the source of
the smoke - Cypress Hill man B Real (he
of the whiny voice which makes all Hill
records instantly recognisable) is
clutching a pipe, Muggs (Cypress Hill DJ
and producer) is holding a spliff. As the
smoke reaches the back of the room the
press conference begins.
Cypress Hill are notorious for
their smoking habits, the evidence is all
over their records, both musically and
members, remains mostly silent
throughout. As does Bobo, Cypress
Hill’s most recent addition in the
percussion department.
The group are in Britain to
promote the imminent release of new
album ‘Skull & Bones’ and double A-side
single ‘Rock Superstar’ and ‘Rap
Superstar’. The new album sees the
band move further in a direction hinted
at several years ago when they first
experimented in the rap/rock crossover,
“we liked the way it came out but we
never pursued it. But then we decided
to proceed forward and do a little more
experimentation, we finally took that
step.” says B Real. The ‘Skull & Bones’
The ‘Superstar’ single (which
eventually charted in the top 30) has, on
the rap version, Eminem and Noreaga
telling the listener about the trials of life
in the spotlight. Similarly, the rock
version features alternate production
and Deftones man Chino repeating the
message. But why would people want to
hear a record about how hard Cypress
Hill’s life is? “The single’s just a
generalisation, anybody who’s had any
kind of success knows what’s being
talked about in the song, we’re just
voicing it” B Real answers,“it’s almost an
educational piece for the kids, y’know,
they’re hearing it before they get into
this game, they gotta learn about it.” It’s
part of a theme which often comes up in
their music: “There’s a lot of stuff just
documenting what we’re going through.
There’s a lot of people coming out of the
woodwork, they try to get a piece of
you. There’s stuff that happens to you
personally, stuff that anybody can relate
to.” B Real adds. Cypress Hill have had a
lot of problems throughout their career
- when someone asks what they would
have changed, for example, Muggs offers
that they shouldn’t have hired their last
manager. This shows exactly where they
are coming from with the single and
other tracks on the album (‘What U
Want From Me’ for one).
It seems that now they’ve gone
ahead with their rock direction, it is
something they wish to pursue even
further: “It’s a powerful form of music.
Depending on what the group is talkin’
about within that music, it grabs people.”
Muggs agrees, suggesting that
the popularity of the rap/rock crossover,
in the form of such groups as Limp Bizkit
was inevitable, “kids have grown up with
both musics y’know, both sides are
listening to Dre, Metallica, Rage and
Cypress Hill, they’ve grown up with it, so
naturally, when it’s time to make music
they have both influences.”
On the subject of more
mainstream hip hop acts, and Puff Daddy
contains naturally leads a lot of people
to be concerned about the effect it may
have on the listeners, but Cypress Hill
remain pragmatic about the whole issue.
They are just documenting the way they
live, they claim, regardless of whether
people like it. “We don’t pull punches,
we don’t water down the message, but
what parents want their kids listening to
shit like that?” It is understandable, B
Real believes, that parents are worried
about their children, but it is not the
band’s concern. They are just being
honest, “But hey, that’s how we do it and
we don’t make apologies for it. That’s
how we know it, that’s how we live it.”
Muggs: “We live this shit!”
B Real: “Exactly, Muggs, we live this shit.”
‘We Live This Shit’, incidentally,
is the name of a track on the new album
documenting life in East-Side La as it is.
The
conversation
leads
inevitably to the subject of school killings
across America. The band deny having
any responsibility, instead seeing
themselves, and other musicians like
them, as scapegoats, “people are always
pointing the finger, but the music isn’t
going to make a kid kill a bunch of kids
at his school! There was something
wrong with that kid whether it was
mentally or whatever, but it wasn’t no
music. That’s always just a way out so
parents can blame it on something else
because they didn’t raise their kids right,
or they weren’t paying attention to what
they were doing.” Accusations that
music had anything to do with the
shootings that have gone on in America
are, says B Real, “a bunch of shit!”.
The band do have some
responsibilities though, something which
they are all too aware of because of the
profanity-free alternate versions of the
album they must release, “you always
have to have the clean version, so,
obviously there will be one. That’s a bad
habit I’ll have to break in the future, but
that’s just the way we talk, man. We
curse a lot, but fuck it, y’know what I
mean?!”
As the press conference
comes to an end and Cypress Hill
mingle with the assembled
reporters and music biz-types, it
becomes obvious what the
‘Superstar’ single is all about. The
constant trail of promotion and
signing goes on all over the world,
and the band, clearly weary and
tired (or maybe just wasted) must
carry on regardless.
Andrew Snowball
...but enough of that crap,
what’s the album like?
CYPRESS HILL
“Skull and Bones”
(Columbia/Soul Assassins)
Having sold approximately 12 million records since they started,
Cypress Hill certainly won’t be starving this Christmas.The band,
who formed in the LA suburb of Southgate around 1988, have
returned, packing a tremendous double CD, deemed the Skull
and the Bones disks. This album sees the band return to their
roots, but also look to their future.The Skull disk offers the more
traditional and classical Cypress Hill street sounds of the early
90s (which seems to make the present the naughties?), whereas
the Bones disk hears the band expand musically into the realms
of the more funky, metal sounds of now.The album includes guest
performances by Rage Against The Machine’s drummer Brad Wilk
and Dino Cazares from Fear Factory, on “Can’t get the Best of
me” and “Get out of my Head” respectively. Further highlights
include the two alternative versions versions of “Superstar” and
the very old skool “We live this shit”. Another hit from da bong
with a headrushing...
8/10
(APT)
Page 11
THE EDGE
THE EDGE
How we joined Elastica, man! Paul and Mew chat to
The Edge before their storming London show
Paul was in Linoleum. Mew was in Heave. Both
are now quite fundamentally IN Elastica. But
what does that entail? After all, Justine and her
original pals managed just one album before
taking the hiatus from which the new look band
is only now emerging.The eponymous debut was
a huge success, a vital purchase for those music
fans who reigned supreme in the days of Chris
Evans on Radio One, Euro ‘96 coming home and
‘indie’ music catapulting into public discourse;
‘mad-for-it’, ‘indie-all nighters’, Jo Whiley and
Steve Lamacq, Adidas, skinny ribs and cockney
geezers. Britpop had come, the time was right,
the connection was made.
But three years after their last performance
(V97) and five since the first, copyright bending debut, is
the connection still there? Can Elastica rediscover
former glories? They have remained in the gossip
columns and the music press, secured a headlining slot at
last years’ Carling Weekend and released an EP that
vibrated through the guts; head nodding, foot stomping
stuff.The countdown had begun. April 2000 was take-off
time.
“I’ve been in the band for about a year and a half,” muses
Paul, still disbelieving. “Leaving Linoleum and joining
Elastica was a gradual progression over a couple of years.
I was asked to do a bit of playing. I was really intimidated
and I wouldn’t answer Justine’s calls, but my flatmate said
I should just go and do it.”
The road to Elastica was not too dissimilar for
Mew, the jiggering, energetic keyboardist, formerly of
Heave, who had bought the pre-sabbatical ‘Elastica’ and
loved it like any other fan.
“Justine came to see my band play a few times
and asked if I wanted to come and play in the studio. I
was like, ‘NO! I can’t!’ Elastica are such a massive band, I
just didn’t think I could. But she was really insistent that
she didn’t want a session player on the album. I knew
Paul before so it was good to have a familiar face in the
studio when I walked in. Everyone was really nice.”
vocals to the latter, giving it a sinister,
grizzly atmosphere. Without him, the
live renditions lose much of their soul,
the depth is whipped away, the shrill
voices of Justine and Mew are
playground-like and no substitute.
“I didn’t get to meet him,”
Paul reflects with an odd air of relief.
“Apparently he was in the studio
three months before us recording his
bits. I find him quite intimidating, he’s a
fairly volatile bloke. Put it this way,
when we went on stage at Reading, he
had blood on his face and our guitarist
had blood on his hands!”
Since the Reading/Leeds
headlining shows of ‘99, the Elastica
machine had been publicly dormant,
not cranking into life until the NME
Brats Astoria gig in March and now
the current sell-out tour of the
nation. According to Paul and Mew,
the fear for them was more of
acceptance than failure, the fear that
the Elastica fanbase would have grown
older, moved on and lost patience was
much more evident in the others.
Mew explains: “Don’t tell
anyone I told you this [naturally! Who
does she think I am?!], but everyone
was really shitting it, and David puked
up before we went on stage! For me
it was like my own secret hell. In the
end it was amazing, everyone was
really with us, dancing and singing
along.The fans losing patience isn’t so
much of a worry for me. People are
really big fans of the band as they know
it. I was very wary of that, particularly at
the Astoria, but I think I got away with
it! I was surprised coz the crowd were
really up for it. Usually they just stand
back with their hand on their chin.”
When The Edge put it to Paul
that the new Elastica live set is more
punchy, more raucous, more upbeat
than in days gone by, he agreed
wholeheartedly: “Elastica were always
more ‘Peeley’ than any of the other
Britpop bands. It’s no surprise that the
band has evolved and outlasted most.”
“You mean bands like
Sleeper?”
“God yeah! No contest! Can
you imagine Sleeper still being around?!”
Paul
So minus Donna and plus Paul and Mew, ‘The Menace’
was underway.
“Elastica could have released an album in 1996.
There was enough written [I get the impression that
the speculation as to why no album appeared is not too
far from the truth - Ed] so by the time me and Mew had
arrived, a lot of what is on ‘The Menace’ had already been
written.Tracks like ‘Love Like Ours’, ‘Image Change’ and
‘How He Wrote Elastica, Man’.
Notorious Fall guy, Mark E Smith lends his
MENACE
The Band
Justine
Tonight, Elastica members new and, as it
turned out, old had the chance to wow
London for the second time in a month.
Was the Forum ready? Was the band
going to be able to top Echoboy, tonight’s
chief support act who whipped the
crowd in to delirium with an energy
fuelled set of blistering guitars, majestic
beats and samples? Quite positively yes,
but it was a close run thing.
A five year wait for any album
condemns it to instant mediocrity and in
that sense, Elastica did themselves few
favours. But where ‘The Menace’ does
blossom is on stage. That new fervour,
the new bounce, the renewed passion
causes ‘Mad Dog’ and ‘Generator’ to
smack you, Force Naseem, in the head,
spin you round, leave you swirling,
staggering, allowing just enough recovery
time before, BOOM, there we go
again. This time it’s ‘Waking Up’, ‘Line
Up’, ‘Stutter’ and even ‘Da Da Da’,
one of the album’s weakest links,
packs a mean sonic upper cut. ‘How
He Wrote Elastica, Man’ could do
with some male input, but it’s the
girlie show up there, and Justine
wants all her mates round. A third of
the way through the set she
announces, “I’ve heard that Donna
might be in the audience tonight. If
you are, come up and do a song with
us.”
Necks are duly strained
peering into the wings for glimpse of
the blonde former guitarist. The
encore came and went, as did
messages from backstage. Something
was clearly afoot. It was time for the
last song, the finale to a pacey set that
seamlessly combined half a decade of
material. Donna ran on stage, planted a
huge kiss on Justine’s cheek - and the
‘Connection’ was made.
They seem now, more than ever,
to be a live band. The depth and
potential of an act has rarely been
so severely tested. But, from those
two qualities exactly, Elastica have
emerged again, forthright, sexy,
assertive, punchy, pacey, industrial
and ultimately, triumphant. The
blows reigned in, the ref waved his
arms, submission was inevitable.
Elastica had won, the crowd were
dazed. ‘The Menace’ has been
unleashed.
ALEX LOWE
UNLEASHED
Page 12
Page 13
THE EDGE
THE EDGE
Dandy
Dandy Warhols
Warhols&
&
’
.
.
.
s
h
g
i
H
l
a
r
O
,
s
e
v
i
r
D
x
e
‘S
The Marbles put out in Pompey
KEITH CAPUTO
@ The Borderline
...and so was Manjeet
dick, then whatever.”
Keith then goes
on to slag off the whole
record industry in an
alarming manner.
“Everyone’s an
asshole in this business,
it’s difficult to trust
anybody, and I’m not like
that... I’m all about truth
and innocence and purity
and giving myself to the
people.”
But surely this is
quite a drastic step for
Mr. Caputo to take? Going
from playing in a hardcore
band to singing slow
acoustic stuff?
“I’m no fucking Cannibal
“Sitting up straight in the back of the bus...”
It’s been a while. The Dandy Warhols
swept all before them with their jerky,
pop singles two years ago. ‘Holiday’ and
‘...Junkie’ made serious dents in the top
twenty, had serious amounts of airplay.
But then they seriously disappeared.
‘Boys Better’ was picked up on by XFM
and virtually no-one else. No good for
those out of the London hubub.
Since then, the band have
swelled, recruitung a third guitarist and
trumpeteer wonderfully called Trojan
and a new drummer, Brent DeBoer, with
a super-sized frizz on top.The new sound
is of wonderful honky-tonk horseplay
emalgamated with the traditional
bohemian mastery of these Portland
pioneers.
In tow were The Marbles, long
haired lovers from, erm, Scotland, who
are everything bands like Cast want to
be. This, by the way, is no slight on The
Marbles, except perhaps, for the crap
choice of band name! They can rock with
a deep groove, harmonise, jangle and
sound authentically retro without being
either tongue in cheek or just plain
Page 14
bollocks. ‘Falling Overground’ is very
Liverpudlian, while ‘The Penny Drop’ was
the highlight of their set and is superbly
psychedelic Beatles and Stones. To be
psychedelic,
honky-tonk,
sixties,
seventies in punchy pop tunes is
wonderful and superb opener for the
Dandy Warhols, themselves a paint pallet
of variety.
The Wedgewood Rooms,
spacious at the outset, rammed full as
The Marbles closed, the bar having
Very arty!
emptied and all unisoned in head
nodding, foot stomping delight. The
anticipation for Cortney and pals was
shuddering.
Opening with three heroic faves
from ‘...Come Down’,‘Be In’ whisped and
jolted, ‘Holiday’ rocked and rolled while
‘...Junkie’ pogoed in a smack addled haze.
There was a set list, but then
there was also a curfew and these Yanks
didn’t give a shit about either. A tight,
though typically meandering opening led
into what almost became ‘An Evening
with the Dandy Warhols.’ After ‘TV
Theme’ and ‘I Love You’ all stage rules
were broken. As requests bombarded
the stage, Courtney took time out to
teach Zea the notes to a song she had
not even learnt yet. Newer than even
the very new ones. They played a song
from an old mates band “back home” ,
stretching their 14 song set list to a two
hour monstrous, exultant performance,
with no encore, finishing on ‘It’s a Fast
Driving Rave Up’.
“We will play here all fucking
night. I swear. If you want, we’ll play all
fucking night!” In the end, they didn’t, it
ended at midnight. But, on Easter Sunday,
the Dandy Warhols had risen from the
image of ritual snogger and shaggers,
from the steel ball of ‘Holiday’ and
especially ‘...Junkie’ and delivered a set
seamlessly combining new tunes from
the forthcoming album. If you think there
is a better song around at the minute
than ‘Get Off’, the new single, then, to be
quite honest, you are wrong.
ALEX LOWE
Ex Life Of Agony frontman Keith
Caputo has come to London for an
acoustic showcase of the material
on his debut solo album ‘Died
Laughing’, and there’s no way in hell
The Edge are going to pass up the
chance of having a word with him.
We had a chat with him before the
gig, and asked him what he’d been
up to.
“We’re on tour with Travis, and we just
played in Hamburg yesterday. We got
back to the hotel at 4.30 in the morning,
and then had to get up at 5.30 to get the
plane, so I didn’t really sleep. I was just
lying
there,
and
then
DINGDINGDINGDING!!!!, the alarm
rings and I’m like... Fuck!! Yeah, I’m tired,
but I’ve gone days without sleep before,
and I’ll be OK for the gig.”
And without further ado, Keith
is asked the question he must have
answered a million times before. What
happened? Life Of Agony were a great
band... why did he leave?
“There was this disconnection
that existed, and I wasn’t there with my
heart. I’ve lived a lie for the last 6 years,
and only really played in the band
because I loved my cousin Joey, and had
respect for his enthusiasm. What the
whole business turned every one into
disgusted me. It was one big facade, and I
refused to live a lie and to lie to the fans.
I didn’t have the strength to continue
because I don’t like wearing masks... but
if you don’t understand and think I’m a
Corpse or Coal Chamber! No offence
to them, but I’m going to do what comes
from my heart. These songs are a
representation of what I am. They are
quite old, and were written at the same
time as we were doing ‘Ugly’ (Life Of
Agony Record). I’ve hunted silence, and I
don’t need motherfuckers stepping on
the twigs and breaking all the branches...
I can be a predator on my own, bring in
my own kill for the tribe. I want to create
my own tribe. I sacrifice every social
conditioning or following of human
societies law... I break all the laws.”
And speaking of branches,
twigs, and the new material, what’s that
song in which he sings “Cobain was
murdered by you” all about?
“I read a book called ‘Who
Killed Kurt Cobain’ written by Courtney
Love’s dad. It created a
lot of scepticism in me
and I decided to write
an ode to Mr. Cobain.
He’s an incredible
artist, and I love him,
respect him, and relate
to the sorrow in the
look of his eye. It’s a
strange thing, and I
can’t put it in words.
It’s
a
euphoric
vibration, a priceless
emotion... there’s no
verbs or grammar that
can explain it.”
And finally, is
the gig going to be
good? We asked Keith
how the live set was
working out.
“The live band I have now is incredible,
and they blow my mind. We have no
format, we’re spontaneous. If you want
to hear a perfect show, go home and
listen to the fucking record. It’s what
Zeppelin did, it’s not what we do, it’s
what we don’t do that works incredibly
well. Check out www.keithcaputo.com
for new live dates.”
The gig itself was quite an
occasion. A couple of hundred fans
packed out the tiny venue and heartily
cheered Kaith Caputo onto the stage,
which itself looked remarkably similar to
the ‘Nirvana- Unplugged in New York’
stage set up. Unfortunately, a couple of
“I decided to write an
ode to Mr. Cobain.
He’s an incredible
artist, and I love him,
respect him, and
relate to the sorrow
in the look of his
eye.”
tossers decided to start a fight during
the first song, and caused utter chaos in
the crowd (a very annoying distraction
during an acoustic set). Mr Caputo didn’t
take it very well, and to the crowd’s
dismay, he stormed off a couple of songs
later.The audience was left speculating as
to what was going to happen next, and a
few of them even left... what a mistake
they made.
Keith Caputo returned fifteen
minutes later, and gave the crowd such a
sincere and intimate apology and
explication, that he broke down in tears.
The stunned fans gaped as Keith went on
to explain how difficult it was for him to
do this, and that he was trying to share
deep emotions with them. The speech
finished, and two hundred more fans in
the bag, he went on to play a blinding set.
Tunes such as ‘New York City’ and
‘Home’ left the crowd begging for more,
and new single ‘Selfish’ had everyone
singing along. To close the set, Keith
played the emotional ‘Brandy Duval’,
putting his amazing voice to full use and
sending chills down most peoples spines.
Keith Caputo may have made quite a
change in his musical direction, but
tonight all those sceptical Life Of Agony
fans were proved wrong beyond doubt,
and if not, then they should fuck off and
listen to Slayer instead.
Manjeet Bawa
Page 15
THE EDGE
THE EDGE
DANCE
SUPERCLUB @ HOME?
Recent years have seen an explosion of
superclubs in UK with the likes of
Ministry, Gatecrasher and Cream, to
name but a few. These have become
institutions, places of pilgrimage within
clubland. And now, there comes Home.
Located in Leicester Square, perhaps the
most in yer face address in London,
Home is the biggest yet. A seven storey
dance palace, comprising of a number of
Danny Tenaglia, relaxing at
Home
main club rooms, a live performance
venue, a private members bar, a
restaurant and multimedia café.
But is it any good?
Recent months have seen a no media
policy at the club and it is only now that
we have been invited to investigate. As
we arrived at the venue on Friday night
the queue was predictably large, though
it must be said at this point that the
ludicrous door policy is a complete myth.
We made our way to the guest entrancealways a good psyke on those in the
queue. Expecting a certain amount of
snobbery we were surprised at the
friendly greeting and accommodating
staff who met us.
Inside the club is visually stunning. It
oozes style and charisma.There are
small lounging booths and
interactive screens strategically
placed so as to satisfy the keenest
novelty seekers. And even the
toilets have a certain amount of
charm.
Escalators deliver the crowd to the
main staircase and the main rooms
where members of the DJ-ing elite
may be found. Clearly the line up is
impressive with weekend residents
including
Danny
Rampling,
Oakenfold and the Dope Smugglaz.
Various guest DJs often join the all
star crew and blast their own
sounds from the spectacular sound
system. On this Friday room 1 was
occupied by Dan and Jon Kahuna The
(Home residents) who offered their
usual blend of funky house and garage.
The party room hosted a Carbon
Records social where home-grown DJs
provided a funky, hip-hop inspired
workout of sounds.The main attraction
however was held in room 2 where
Danny Tenaglia, as part of the Global
Underground’s Departures tour, took
centre stage to give a 6 hour session.
Tenaglia delivered a memorable set of
deep house mixed in with some tribal
sounds. Tunes such as The Lights from
The Underground Sound of Lisbon, and
Robert Owen’s I’ll be your friend
injected total bedlam onto the dance
Carbon Boys
floor. Sir Tanaglia then ended his set with
some old school classics inducing mass
chants of ‘Acid’ which could be heard
throughout the entire building. Overall
the atmosphere was overwhelming,
something that can only be compared to
that generated in some of the better
tents at Creamfields.
The balcony overlooking room 2
provided the perfect spot to observe the
crowd below. Expecting the crowd to be
a rampant pack of overly crazy clubbers
and Hippodrome-esque chavvies out for
a night ‘up town’, it was a relief to
discover that the crowd was a menage of
like minded people wanting
nothing more than a wicked
night. That included some
celebrity pickings (Johnny
Lee Miller and Chemical’s Ed
were spotted in addition to
various superstar DJs) who
were equally enjoying the
night. Basically, anyone who
digs it will be embraced by
Home.
Page 16
So the question remains as to whether
Home is a super club. The cynical
remarks will always surround these
clubs- ‘never as good as the old days’,
‘cheesy-house palace for the fluffy bra
brigade’,‘commercial bullshit’ etc etc, but
Home is arguably a mere coincidence of
a natural evolutionary process. It
certainly has all the essential ingredients
with enough variety to appeal to
practically everyone. Once any
preconceptions are set aside even the
most reluctant clubber will have a
thoroughly wicked night at Home.
CD
If the stomping sounds of
Friday and Saturday nights
don’t appeal then there is
Highrise which takes place
on Thursdays. Highrise offers
WIN A HOMELANDS RADIO
Ericsson, sponsers of this year’s HOMELANDS, have given The Edge, a radio on
which you can listen to this yaers festivities if you are sad enough not to be going.
To win this wonderful prize correctly answer the question opposite and e-mail
your answer to [email protected]
a weekly grand slam
of big-beat and
techno with an
added flavour of
funk.
Justin
Robertson, Adam
Freeland and John
Carter man the
decks on a regular
basis, though may
be
joined
by
various guest DJs.
Rob Bright (Bugged
Out) has recently
mooched about the
stage and delivered
a blinding set.
Highrise attracts a
heaving mass of
Carhartt clad folk
and is a preferred
night for students. Of course the prices
help attract us financially disadvantaged
individuals. NUS discounts and selected
drink promotions are most definitely a
plus factor in our plight of general
pikiness.
Where is this year’s
Homelands England
a) Scunthorpe
b)Winchester
c)Westminster
Y3K KIDS
After turning out one of the innovative
British dance music albums of last year,
Hybrid have taken their show on the
road to critical acclaim and this year have
blasted their way onto every festival line
up imaginable and then plan to go back
into the studio to produce their second
album. Having recorded “Kid 2000”
(released May 22nd) with Chrissie
Hynde it is going to be a big summer for
Hybrid. The Edge had a chat with Chris
before Easter as he waited to become a
dad.
Chris, Mike and Lee along with vocalist
Julie form the studio core of Hybrid. Lee
and Chris met in Swansea and began to
promote their own night ‘Strictly
Groovy’, a couple of years ago in strolled
Mike with a copy of his bootleg remix of
“Another Brick in the Wall”, which Chris
and Lee dutifully dropped in at the end
of the night. From their Hybrid was
formed making tunes “To play the end of
the night”. After a couple of remix jobs
the boys sat down and started work on
last years “Wide Angle” LP.
After finishing the album for the first
time as an instrumental dance album,
Hybrid went on to finish it another three
times after adding in some live musicians,
the Russian Federal Orchestra and finally
Vocals with Julie. Whilst recording in
Moscow, Hybrid frequented a club
owned by and reserved for the Mafia
commenting that “The music was about
six years behind (the UK), a bit like
Wales”. They tried and failed to get the
engineers in Moscow to understand the
full scale of digital recording and editing,
and get the orchestra players into
breakbeat.
Hybrid converted to using digital audio
rccording as opposed to the industry
satndard MIDI setups after being in the
studio with BT, when they were making a
track for their Y3K album. “We made
this loop on a sampler, recorded it from
the sampler through MIDI striaght into
audio and had a look at how far out the
quantised points were on the beats and
they were completely out. MIDI is way
way out.
With the Y3K album and DJing the band
did they always tried to add other things
to their mixing. “When we DJ we always
take samplers and keyboards, because at
the end of the day a DJ gets ahell of a lot
of money for just playing other people’s
records, I think. It’s nly two dex at the
end of the day.”
In order to try and master the technical
nightmare most dance acts have when
trying to take an album live Hybrid took
a stroll over to see Faithless, but were
not overly impressed by the almost
totally live aspects of their show, “They
were a little too live for me, at the end of
the day it’s meant to be dance music.”
The Hybrid live show consists of Mike
and Chris on keyboards, a scratch DJ, a
drummer, Julie and loads of toys in order
to make sure that everything sounds as
much like the recording as it can. But
rather than having the rather lacklustre
sight of two geezer’s with a computer
(Everything but the girl take note) they
decided that “Everything that we can
play, we play, we take all the instruments
we made all the tracks on, on the road,
basically our entire studio which cost a
f**king fortune.”
With the summer festivals coming up
Hybrid have re-done some of the tracks
with the added influence of their DJ and
drummer and added new material to
make the show twice as long as last year
and mixed the show to avoid lots of
gaps between tracks. After having the
volume turned down when they
followed the Chemicals at Homelands
in Scotland last year, Hybrid are looking
forward to the summer season and
having Chrissie Hynde join them on
stage to perform Kid 2000, should
provide a spectacle worth catching.
Kid 2000 is released on May 22nd
as a single and is featured on the
OST to Kevin and Perry go large.
Hybrid are appearing at all 3
Homelands and various outdoor
events all summer.
RGJ
Ray Keith
Club M
Friday 12th of May 2000
GUILDED PLATIPUS’S
The only criticism of the night would be that the sound system was, er, a bit shaky. I’m
not sure that the vast, airy space in the guildhall did justice to the music on the night,
as Platipus are probably more suited to smaller, more compact clubs where you can
really create an atmosphere. Still, they’re back this month with a special guest
appearance from ex-Cream regular, Steve Lawler. Definitely one not to miss.
After moving into the old Magnum club in St Mary’s in September last year, Squeeze 18
have built up one of the finest reputations for regular club nights in Southampton. As
ever excellent support tonight from the distortion crew, DJ’s Joker, 33 and MC Wrec
supplying the D&B with eclectic hip-hop and breaks upstairs.
The vibe in Club M is as tight and intimate as a pair of lycra shorts and ten
times as hot. The regular crowd needed no introduction to the tight minimal tech step
and monstrous bass lines that the residents provided and warmed even further when
MC Wrec dropped fresh well timed lyrics into place with the breaks, he is one of the
best new MC’s I’ve heard.
12.15 rolled around and up steps Ray, ready to party throwing down the
twisting vocals and searing bass of ‘Nasty Ways’ by Dillinga as his first tune, quickly
switching in and out of old and new tunes, each one receiving rapturous responses
from the packed and very sweaty dance floor. Ray gets a lot of stick for not mixing in
his tunes, preferring to cut in a new tune straight into the bassline very quickly indeed,
but as everybody who attended tonight could verify, mixing doesn’t matter as long as
you play good tunes. Good tunes were everywhere tonight, ranging from old faithfuls
such as ‘Alien girl’, to fresh cuts from Kosheen (‘Hide you;’) to new mixes of classic
tunes including the Y2K mix of Ray’s own ‘Terrorist’ across the whole spectrum of
Drum and Bass. Even those who think that they hate D&B, should go and catch one of
Ray’s sets soon and try not to get caught up in the frenzy that will inevitably ensue, go
on I dare you. If you don’t fancy D&B all night, then just head down to Club M on a
Friday night and compare the electric atmosphere on both floors to that of your local
“Superclub” and you will soon forget the latter believe me.
All in all a runnin’ Friday night out and there is little more that I can or will say
on the matter, other that Ray definitely is one of top DJ’s on the circuit and Squeeze
18 are shaking up the very sparse and dire clubbing scene in Southampton at long last.
Martin McGrath
RGJ
Following successful visits to Turnmills in London, and The (now extinct) Manor in
Ringwood in recent months, Platipus Records brought their distinctive trancey sound to
The Guildhall.The penultimate week at The Manor had seen the label pack the place to
the rafters, which is testament to the success of their releases over the past few years,
which have included the massive hit by Art of Trance, “Madagascar,” and more recently,
Ambassador’s “The Fade.”
Whilst the Guildhall was not at bursting point, those who had forked out the (rather
steep) fifteen quid admission did not fail to enjoy it. A mixed crowd of locals and
students marvelled at the impressive visual show and the superb tunes spun by the DJ’s
on the night, which included a special appearance by Jon Graham (aka Quivver). Tunes
of the night were the the massive Sasha anthem, Andy Ling, “Fixation,” and the brilliant
“Angry Skies” by Tilt, set to be released at the end of the month.
The most eagerly anticipated moment of the event also failed to disappoint. The live
performance by Terra Ferma, one of the more significant players in the Platipus set up,
was full of energy and was complimented by some impressive visuals. The rendition of
one of their recent releases, “Don’t Be Afraid” stood out amongst the others, a track
that embodies the sound of trance that Platipus are all about.
Page 17
THE EDGE
THE EDGE
SINGLES
Khaled feat. Amar
El Harba Wine
(Barclay)
Khaled, unsurprisingly hails from middle
east and this EP does nothing for that
particular area’s musical reputation, with
his vocal line seeming compromised of a
selection of grunts, over some wobbly
dubby beats. By far the best bit of this 12
is the inclusion of Amar, a Bangladeshi
vocalist who has adopted a western edge
to her traditional tabla style successfully
demonstrated on her inclusion of Talvin
Singh’s latest project and her work with
Origin Unknown, expect more from her
and less from Khaled to save our sanity.
broke don’t fix it. Punching drums and
percussion with smooth strings bring
together the layers of low intensity
ambient noise with storyboard lyrics.
It is hard not to be depressed by the
Aloof, but they do it so well and One
Night Stand was a defining moment in
90’s music, but they haven’t progressed
much in the time they’ve had.
Mark 3/5
RGJ
ALBUMS
VARIOUS ARTISTS
TOTALLY WIRED
VOLUME 1
(Acid Jazz)
SERIES
2,
Whoooooah baby, let get daaaaahn and
funk! Acid Jazz have produced another
damn fine collection of rare grooves,
niiiiice swings and exotic erotic for you
cool cats to jive to. As always it mixes
rare and hard to find classics with
groundbreaking new artists. Side by side
you have old timers like the James Taylor
Quartet shaking down ‘Austin’s Theme’
next the label’s new signing The Past
Present Organisation who’s ‘Number 9’
is deliciously loungin’. Also present and
correct are Italian teenage sensations
VIP 2000 with the orgasmic ‘Topless
Party’ and Montefiore Cocktail’s grand
take on ‘Gypsy Woman’ (and no that’s
not Don Williams’ classic country ballad
but Crystal Waters No. 1 smash).
Raging from the horniest jazz funk to the
slickest hip hop Totally Wired 2,1 is a
superb collection. Perfect for every
occasion. Whether sipping cocktails by
the pool or a hittin’ skin under humid
skies, this is a body mover. Uh huh.
Mark: 10/10
DM
James Taylor (Below)
Mark 2/5
RGJ
Utah Saints
Funky Music
(Echo)
The Saints return, enlisting funk legend
Edwin Starr for vocal duty. Indeed this is
funky, fun and above all a good laugh.
Screaming guitars, driving bass and Edwin
doing his thing over beats as phat as a
kipper tie. Well played by most people
with any taste and with impressive
remixes from Dope Smugglaz, Levent
and the Krafty Kuts, well worth a listen.
Another sign that the new LP from the
Utah Saints will as we at The Edge have
held for some time will be huge.
Mark 4/5
RGJ
Williams Traffic
I Man Dub EP
(Catalogue)
4 track EP each with their individual
flavour. I Man Dub the title track, blends
a walking bass line with some hardcore
hip-hop vocal stabs and samples
gathered from every corner of the
world, which should get some reaction
from some of Brighton’s more discerning
dance floors. Check the flip for a
haunting vocal from Vietnamese vocalist
Kim Nguyen on the dark Bjork style
expanse of Dark Blue. The other two
dub and reggae cuts don’t really make
any impact.
Mark 4/5
The Aloof
Doing it for Money
(Screaming Target Records)
Taken from their current album, the
Aloof’s new single sticks very much to
the well known formula, but if it ain’t
Page 18
Utah Saints (Above)
Ariel/A9
(Essential Recordings)
Essential presents A9, a tune from
Freedom’s Ariel.The track is held down
by a comparatively strong bass line and
pulsating rhythm, which also allow the
odd tribal sound to filter through on
some mixes.The format of the tune
then follows the basic pragmatic
formula of many of its predecessors,
working around a predictable chordchanging synth riff.This pushes the tune
towards the edge of toy town trance
eventually culminating in very little.
Although uninspired, the tune is more
than likely to experience chart success
as Essential attempt to wring another
trick out of the haggard old wretch that
is apparently hard house before the
summer is over.
Mark 1.5/5 CD
STELLA BROWNE
Every Woman Needs Love
(Perfecto)
What is going on? Steps and Scooch,
Gloria Gaynor and Heather Small? They
say Americans don’t get dance music, but
if this is what is foisted upon them, I
wouldn’t wanna get it either. And
Oakenfold is world famous for producing
this shite? He has got Stella Browne to
imitate every bollocks piece of two-apenny pop-tarts and stuck some apology
for beat behind it. And wants a hit? But
then, Dave Pearce will probably play it.
‘Nuff said.
Mark 1/5 AL
JACK KNIFE LEE
Punk Rock High Roller
(Palm)
There’s a thin line between jest and
being Bentley Rhythm Ace. Are you selfknowing joker or an idiot savants
regurgitating tired comedy samples? If
you’re Jack Knife Lee then you’re
probably sitting uncomfortably on the
fence in-between. Not funny enough to
join
BRA’s
hardcore
jumble
carbootechnodisco roadshow but not
hip enough to be Beck. Unlike Jack
Knife’s largely instrumental debut most
tracks on ‘Punk Rock High Roller’
feature vocals. Not necessarily a good
thing. A monotone monotony sums
them up best. Imagine Bernard Sumner
at his blandest... this is worse.
The only standout track is ‘Easy’
featuring UK garage honcho MJ Cole
and Bentley’s drummer Fuzz Townshend.
Stella brown (below)
Reminiscent of Bill Withers ‘Lovely Day’
and Primal Scream’s ‘Star’ it’s a beautiful
paean to all those people that have
pissed off Jack. “I really love it when you
fall on your arse / your such a prick,
think your so full of class”. Poetic it ain’t
but it’s chilled beats make would make it
the perfect comedown soundtrack. The
rest of the album is a mish-mash of crap
samples and junkshop beats. Ultimately
there’s only so many times a track called
“cookies” is funny.
‘Punk Rock High Roller’ tries just too
damn hard. The sax trumpet is nicked
from Beck. The break beat sound tired.
And shite comedy samples are not
acceptable anymore. This isn’t 1997.
Punk Rock? Hmmm, don’t think so pal,
not spiteful enough. High roller? Maybe,
it’s certainly indulgent enough.
Mark 1.5/10
DM
UK Garage Flava-Mixed by DJ EZ
(United Dance)
DJ EZ is a premier Garage DJ and this
sees him teaming up with the United
Dance cru. This is like most of the UK
Garage compilations out at the moment,
and there are quite a few to choose
from. Some of the tunes are wicked
whereas some of them fall totally flat
with minimal effort and production
having gone into them. The mixing is
none too sharp but this has been the
case with all of these compilations of
late. All in all a good album to get ready
to go out to and covers all the
spectrums of UK Garage music without
using all the tunes that made it to the
charts. Stand out tunes include the Artful
Dodger’s remix of Valerie M’s ‘Tingles
2000’, Robbie Craig’s ‘L.O.V.E. Feeling’
and a nice little mix of ‘Right Before My
Eyes’ by NnG and Kallaghan with MC
Neat which has been on all the
compilations so far.
Mark 6/10
ZM
St Gemain
Tourist
(Blue Note)
Moloko
Things to Make and Do
(Echo)
Hailing from the other side of the
channel, St Germian produced a set of
reworks from the worlds most famous
and influential jazz label Blue Note Set
aside any comparisons with US3, this
collection has a distinctive laid back
french flavour, which along with most of
the french hip-hop scene is finally
starting to make some waves worldwide.
The formula is quite simple take some
original breakbeats sample and loop
them and reapply some original
instrumental hooks in keeping with the
groove of the original recordings. The
result is a well produced shiny blueprint
of relaxed new jazz for a new century,
perfect for late night sessions or hazy
lazy afternoons.
Roisin Murphy and Mark Brydon, aka
Moloko, are back with yet another
astounding album from the leftfield. The
band, whose name incidently refers
to a drink the Droogs drank in the
Karova Milk Bar in The Clockwork
Orange, have come a long way since their
first musical explorations on “Where is
the what if the what is in why?”, and their
The Album kicks off with the energetic
vibrato vocals and wailing horns of Rose
Rouge. A Rhodes leads all the way
through “Land of...” which eventually
breaks into a early James Brown type
groove with a huge sax jam.
However avoid the dodgy dub of
“Montego bay Spleen” and this will be an
essential addition to your coffee table
music collection.
Mark 9/10
RGJ
RENNAISANCE,
“Awakening,”
mixed by Dave Seaman
With their new home at Media in
Nottingham up and running, Renaissance,
in their ninth year, are going from
strength to strength. This latest
compilation follows on from their world
series and is probably their best offering
to date. The club that catapulted Sasha
and John Digweed into the spotlight have
rarely compromised their deep house
and underground trance sound since
their humble beginnings, and it shows in
this album. Disc one provides twelve
solid, consistent tracks and culminates in
the brilliant , ‘Love Has Come Again’, by
Human Movement, featuring the vocals
of Sophie Moleta. Disc Two builds on the
first with a selection of harder, more
upfront tracks which are more like what
Dave Seaman would play at Rennaisance.
The best track on the album is The
Shaker, ‘Melon Kolic,’ which features an
acapella version of Satoshi Tomiie’s ‘Up In
Flames,’ mixed over the top, which works
superbly. Other tracks which shine are
Stoneproof ‘She Does,’ with it’s amazing
breakdown in the middle, and the breakbeat track by BT, ‘Dreaming,’ which
rounds this compilation of nicely. A
superb album on the whole which
succeeds in capturing the true sound of
Rennaisance.
9/10
MM
Astral Projection, in the mix.
(Transient)
Astral
projections
are
now
established as one of the biggest
names on the global psychedelic
trance scene. In the mix, is the new
release from the duo on the transient
label. What is offered here is a
collection of traditionally melodic
rifts, backed with some thumping
kicks, and an array of techy snares.
The tracks are energetic with peaks
and troughs timed to perfection. New
tracks are mixed seamlessly with
some older tunes, such as Let Their
be Light, clearly a magnum opus in
modern dance music. Then there
are tunes like Liquid Sun (Cass &
Slide Remix) which punctuate the
harder rhythms with some more
swirly atmospherics, thus ensuring
that there remains an underlying
sense of warmth.
Numskullz
Ad Infinitum
(Hombre)
Although a lot of good hip-hop has come
out of the UK in the past its hard to find
anything that you could call a real classic.
That however, may have just changed. In
Ad Infinitum the Numskullz have
produced an album that would make the
likes of Jurassic 5 or KRS 1 sit up and say
‘daaamn’.
This is superbly produced. The rhymes
flow like a river and the beats roll like,
well, a big rolling thing. Not only is it
brilliant it’s unmistakably British, with
odd bits of Prodigyesque electronica and
unhidden accents. The rhymes are
understated, there’s no claim to have
Exposed
DJ Wildchild& MC Chickaboo
Millenium
‘Exposed’ is the first release from the
London based partnership of DJ
Wildchild and MC Chickaboo. This
mixed compilation has an ‘Electro’ feel
and brings together some of the newer
sounds in drum and bass. DJ Wildchild’s
mixes whilst mostly in time are hardly
skillful or inspiring, and all the tunes
seem a little messy. MC Chickaboo
makes little contribution on most of the
album, with the exception of track 3
Future Cut’s ‘Busted’ where she starts
to get going, but her voice remains too
ingenuity in terms of vocals and
production seems to have grown.“Things
to Make and Do” still features their
characteristic crossover feel, blending
various styles into their own masterly
mix, although in this case the blend is
richer. Accompanied by Paul
Slowly and Eddie Stevens, on drums and
keyboard respectively, the album has
a very live feel to it. From the funky
opener “Pure Pleasure Seekers” to the
rocking Remain the same, this album has
it all and is a highlight in itself.
All in all, a quality mix album with
sounds which would be embraced in
almost any dance arena. Astral
Projections, with their technical
master play and musical skill, offer a
much needed direction amid the
somewhat confused trance scene in
the UK right now.
Mark 8/10
CD
The purveyors of the leftfield sing it
back with a faultless
Mark 10/10
APT
Dilated Peoples
The Platform
(Capitol Records)
The Platform is a rich collection of some
very classy Hip Hop from the US.
The album marks some of the sounds
that have originated from the Dilated
Peoples since their formation in 1992,
where DJ Babu, MC Rakaa and Evidence
first met during some impromtu
freestyle sessions at the LA’s Hip Hop
Shop.
Every track seems to have something to
offer, from scratches, to a barrage
of MC styles. Spread across a generous
16 tracks, this album also features
some bigger names, namely production
by Cypress Hill’s B_Real on the
attitude laden “No Retreat”, and Acey
Alone and Defari on “The Shape of
Things to Come” and “Ear Druns Pop Remic” respectively. A bad ass album
from the roots of turntablism,
Mark: 8/10
APT
lived in the ghetto, and these are MCs
without guns. Negativity and the age old
diss are rare, its an incredibly positive
album:“It’s not a question of who the cap
fits/ Its got adjustable clips/ For all of us
together, we all fit”.
Highlights include ‘A Friend of Mine’ and
‘Same Trap’ but the whole thing is
excellent, there are no bum tracks here.
If you like hip-hop and you don’t own
this already you’ve gone wrong
somewhere. If you don’t then buy it
anyway. This is the best of British and
whoops most of what’s coming from
across the pond as well
9/10
CW
quite and distant throughout.There are a
few decent tunes, namely Capone’s
‘Friday’ and the atmospheric ‘Abduction’
from Sonartribe.‘Exposed’ is not a dance
floor filler, however it is quite successful
as background music. But ultimately the
compilation ‘tiptoes’ its way through
perhaps overused formats, if you are
into heavy baselines and banging
rhythms this is not for you.
True Spirit
Complied by Lofty and Dr Bob
Jones
(Chilli Funk)
10 tracks showcasing developments of
deep and spiritual grooves, similar to
their styles on the wheels of steel. Hand
picked by Chilli Funk’s commanders, this
compilation pays attention to a ‘live’ soul
and funk band feeling, while still finding
space for house beats.
The wonderful Jaymz Nylon ‘I know a
place’, the body and soul type workout
‘Lost -tribes of Ibadan’ by stere make this
something very special in it’s own way.
No fooling around with lightsticks or
other daft unnecessary paraphernalia,
this is strictly soulful funk music for the
heart and mind.
Mark: 8/10
M McM
Mark 5/10
AJ
Page 19
THE EDGE
THE EDGE
GAMES PAGE
Reviewed by the
Silver Surfer
Okay it’s the third in the series and it’s
the same beef as before: you’re a
mercenary pilot fighting in a War
between ‘A’ and ‘B’. But this time some
hologram geezer gets into your dreams
and asks you to help him stop Alien
force ‘C’ destroy both ‘A’ and ‘B’ as
well as the rest of the universe under
the guise of the Flight of the Navigator
esque peace keeping ship the Red Sun.
Colony wars 1 and 2, I’ll admit, I got
stuck on, I hit a stage where every
mission I go on is just impossible and
without a solid story line to carry me
on I end up causing the universe more
harm than good.The latest in the
GLADIATOR
Colony Wars series however has sorted
me out.You see I love this shit, here’s a
ship get in, there are other ships, shoot
the ones that target red, don’t shoot
the ones that target green. But with the
added bonus of a mysterious story line
keeping you going makes this a classic.
You can upgrade your ship as you travel
across the Galaxy in hot pursuit of the
Red Sun.When you finally catch up with
it your stocked up with a massive stock
of weaponry and a dogs bollocks ship
that would make Hans Solo blush. Get
in fly around, shoot the ass of
everything red and let the story line
unwind around you. A classic. Roger
The PC stealth-em-up returns to the
er, PC.The first game was an original,
challenging piece, where going for
broke aint the goal.You play a
mysterious burglar who has to go and
steal things from big castles and houses.
Did you ever hear about the burglar
who tried to rob a house dressed in a
suit of armour? The bloke did it to try
and scare the owner, but the owner
woke up to the sound of this clanging
suit, saw the armour climbing his stairs
and knocked him out with a vase.
Anyway,Thief II, much like the first one.
Should have been set in present times.
Eidos
81.5%
James Torr
Ever fancied playing the Harrison
Ford in Blade Runner and running
around a neo-futuristic environment
with a big gun shooting lots of bad
guys? Well you can now. Fear Effect is
semi-3D Metal Gear Solid wannabe
based a decade or so into the future, it
boasts four discs worth of playing time,
quite lovely visuals and an interesting
health meter.The aforementioned
health meter measures the amount of
fear present in the character you are
playing with, more hits equals more fear.
It works the same as normal health
meters, but means that once you’ve
overcome an opponent you regain your
CINEMA
VAMPIRE
HUNTER
Adapted from the Manga animation
of the same name, D the game is one
to whet the viewer with anticipation
before playing.The premise and intro
are exciting as hell (no pun
intended). 10,000 years from now,
Vampires have risen and fallen, nearly.
The rest of their scum is being
kicked seven bells of shit out of by
bounty hunters, the best of which are
the half breed human-vampires. D is
the best of them all, who is you.The
At last a worthy successor to Ben Hur
and Sparticus. Cinematic genius Ridley
Scott, director of Alien, Blade Runner
and Thelma & Louise has produced a
period epic worthy of comparisons to
these legendary films. Set in the
ancient Roman Empire aussie hunk
Russell Crowe (The Insider, LA
Confidential) plays the great general
Maximus who led his legionaries into
battle against the barbarian hordes.
The war won, Maximus dreams of
returning home to his wife and child;
but, and this is a BIG BUT, the dying
Emperor Marcus Aurelius, played by
Richard Harris (jeezus, he’s still alive?Eds), has one more duty for the
general - to assume the mantle of his
power. Jealous of Maximus’ favour, the
heir to the throne Commodus
(Joaquin Pheonix), orders his
execution - and that of his family.
Barely escaping death, Maximus is
forced into slavery and trained as a
gladiator in the arena, where his fame
grows. He then goes to Rome intent
on avenging the murder of his family by
slaying the contemptuous new
emperor - Commodus. Maximus has
learned that the one power stronger
than that of the emperor is the will of
84%
James Torr
Page 20
The long awaited sequel
to Micro Machines V3 is
with us.This time they’re
on legs, but still small,
with big things around
them, but they aren’t
really big, they’re
magnified. If you like
Micro Machines V3 (who
doesn’t) you’ll love this
loads. It has umpteen
tracks and most of them
have really cool things on
them. One of them has a
video console that you
have to go inside and
you then have to
navigate your way round
asteroids.Woo hoo!
Maniacs is a great release
and most definitely on a
par with its prequel...But,
it’s still not as good as
Circuit Breakers. Sorry,
just had to add that bit
in there, great game.
Codemasters
90%
James Torr
98%
Cockrock Mullet
game itself plays like a RPG-cum
Resident Evil-alike, the graphics aren’t a
patch on Resi, and the character
motion is dodgy to say the least, but
hey, I’m willing to try anything
once...Looks like it could be a goodie.
Nice one JVC!
85%
James Torr
There is literally something in this film
for everyone. Enough blood’n’ guts and
crunchin’ bones to satisfy even the most
bloodthirsty Southampton psycho and
enough leather on flesh to make a legion
of ladies go weak at the knees. Gladiator
is an absolute must and the first film in
years to actually deserve the description
‘Epic’. Cecil B. DeMille would be proud.
DAN MARTYN
MAXIMUS
HARDNESS
12%
Pussy
health. Saves walking around for those
blasted health cannisters or whatever.
Well, the game isn’t as nicely designed
as you first hope for, when you meet
the first boss and you realise that you
should have picked up those extra
bullets, and that now your job is going
to be a little harder than expected.Too
many pointless trial and error puzzles
and too many sudden deaths.Well
worth a look, but not a classic.
Eidos
So that’s the story but just how good is
it? The answer: bloody fantastic! Like all
Scott’s films it is visually breathtaking.
The recreation of ancient Rome is
awesome in its attention to detail.
Thankfully Scott’s usual trick of
focussing too heavily on the cinematics
while neglecting character development
is bypassed. Crowe is truly muscular as
Maximus. His grizzled and defiant
performance far exceeds that of Kirk
“bumface” Douglas or Charlton “ain’t
guns great” Heston. Pheonix is also
superb as the devilish Commodus and a
pleasant surprise was the appearance
from beyond the grave of Ollie Reed!
SAVING GRACE
‘Saving Grace’ is set in Cornwall where Grace
(Brenda Blethyn), a newly widowed lady who
discovers exactly why her husband decided to
jump from a very great height. She has been left
with no inheritance and crippling debts.
Meanwhile, the loveable Scottish gardener, his
girlfriend the Cornish Fisherwoman and the
local GP (Martin Clunes) try growing their own
weed in the vicar’s (Leslie Phillips) garden.
In a strange course of events, Grace,
who is an award winning orchid gardener
decides to swop growing her posh plants for a
greenhouse full of hemp in a desperate bid to
solve her money woes. The film climaxes as an
extremely posh Grace attempts to punctuate
the London criminal underworld in her search
for a dealer.
It is a cheesy, tongue-in-cheek nudge in
the direction of the nation’s drugs laws while
being only a mediocre film with too weak an
ending. It’s far too Hollywood, with all loose
ends tied, nothing questioning and vomit
inducingly sweet.
The plot doesn’t go far enough in any
direction. It swishes over the ridiculous, nags
briefly on heart-rending, tugs at black comedy,
but never expands. It doesn’t work for the
same reasons ‘Kevin and Perry’ does.The idea is
good.The end product not. A real shame.
ALEX LOWE
WHO IS THE GREATEST GLADIATOR?
WOLF
micro maniacs
the people, and he knows he can only
attain his revenge by becoming the
greatest hero in all the empire.
38%
Granite
HAIRCUT TRAUMA
FACTOR
5%
Giant cotton bud
WEAPON of
CHOICE
42%
Jon Bon Jovi
(“He’s a cowboy...”)
EQUIVALENT
POPSTAR
23%
PE Teachers from Slough
100%
Lycra Y-Fronts
Man made breathable fabrics
PLAY THE EDGE’S TRAINED KILLATM TOP TRUMPS
38%
Stylishly Caeserian
90%
Classic little Sword
& Big Shield combo
84%
Liam Gallagher
“I’ll kick yer fookin’ head in”
USED TO
FIGHTING
PREFERRED
PANTAGE
100%
Barbarian hoardes
& fearsome tigers
75%
leather jock strap
restrictive and sweaty
Page 21
THE EDGE
THE EDGE
On May 29 ‘comedian’ Lee Hurst
will be playing the first of two
stand-up shows at Southampton’s
Nuffield Theatre. The second date will
be on June 6. It is part of an already long
national tour that keeps getting longer.
“We’re constantly adding to all the dates
that we’re doing and so it’s just growing
and growing. We seem to be adding
them faster than I can actually do them”
Lee informs me over the phone. Initially,
he was booked to do just the June 6
show, but when that sold out another gig
was arranged. This is a pattern which is
occuring for Lee all over the country. At
the moment the tour, which started in
February, is due to end in December, but
currently there is no telling how long it
will last.
SALAKO
SALAKO
Salako, the English Gorkys ? to
strip away all that welsh
mystique, and bend all the words
into english would give you a fair
shot at Salako being the english
version of those mushroom
sucking poodle rockers.
The comparisons are correct
in the context of a lukewarm
commercial route bordering at times
on the suicidal. Salako seem hellbent
to go out of their way to avoid the
known route from their hometown of
Hull to the Top of the Pops studios. It’s
likely their label Jeepster records ( also
the home of Belle & Sebastian , and
the off-shoot projects Looper, and the
Gentle Waves. Although Salako have an
acid dislike to being over- likened to
anybody ) at the annual sum totting up
time would be tempted to attempt to
curb
Salako’s
fancy
footwork
tendencies. The rest of the year, the
likely tattily dressed and under fed
Jeepster staff team are probably heavily
infatuated, emotionally reliant prime
seat Salako season ticket holders. That
is the always forthcoming cluster of
songs yet again throw up a heavy
mixture of styles. Check the contents
of their last two E.P’s for Columbo
style air tight evidence.
This musical diversity rarely
gets in the way of clear-cut songwriting
to kill for : Salako with consumate ease
could get sheep singing their tunes
The Darren Pickering Guide
whilst jumping over those obligatory
late night fences - and through hoops no
doubt. Their debut album, ‘ Reinventing
Punctuation ‘ ( which feels like many
moons ago due to the band’s prolific
output, yet came out less than two years
ago ) not only shakes up its fair share of
sacks of commas and the like, but is a
milestone album in musical mischief as
well as ..err... invention.
Salako work that fine line
between risking quality through
acquiring quantity.
‘ Reinventing
Punctuation ‘, for example rattles up
twenty tracks yet doesn’t feel like an
arduous musical journey. Their song
titles aren’t always a celebration of
brevity either : ‘ The Moonlight Radiates
a Purple Glow in his World ‘, and ‘
Enlighten me why Doncha ? ‘ aren’t
exactly snappy titles for the latest cereal
or choclate craze. Lengthy in name they
may be, but the songs prosper from a
succinct set of ideas and likewise
execution. Salako often write about the
interesting individual person or thing,
and chanced moments of inspiration.
The track, ‘ Second Age ‘, sums up this
philosophy :‘ “ That flash of light changed
my life in a moment.. and I’ll never be the
same again “ ‘. As much as providing rich
inner thought, Salako can just as easily
go off on one of their wild tangents and
sing about such things as,‘ “ Can you see
in the dark a can can ? “ ‘. Shoot the
geezer who said it was all supposed to
make sense.
If any one track was cheeky
enough to attempt to scale the
mountainous climb at being able to
epitomise the philosophy and creativity
that binds Salako together, it would
probably be ‘ Purpoise Sunlamp ‘. It’s a
barmy, squelchy-noised dynamo of a song
promising not to forget :‘ “ I’d know your
face in a crowd “ ‘, and talk of ,‘ “ I get my
suntan from the heat of a dolphin “ ‘.
Salako can even round off ‘ Reinventing
Punctuation ‘ with a standing on the edge
of a cliff dewy-eyed classic in ‘ Could
Things be the Same ? ‘. It’s up there to
rival Kenickie’s ‘ Rough Boys and Modern
Girls ‘. And The Jam’s ‘ English Rose ‘ for
the soundtrack to those small wee
hours.
Once you’ve consumed ‘
Reinventing Punctuation ‘ you’re less
than halfway working through Salako’s
emotional catalogue, given their single
releases, and second album ‘ Musicality ‘.
With just as much diversity as ‘
Reinventing Punctation ‘, ‘ Musicality ‘
relies less on sharp technological goingson ( ie. Less of a feel of table top dancing
robots who like to cut some serious
rug ), but goes down more than enough
fresh and quirky routes. Having a lot to
live up to after the first album, ‘
Musicality ‘ blazes quietly through
pastoral climates, and nominates
nature, love and life as the victor. ‘ The
Bird and the Bag ‘ is a torchbearer for
the album much in the way as ‘ Purpoise
Lamp ‘ was for ‘ Reinventing
Punctuation ‘. The single release of ‘
Bird and the Bag ‘ could be a cheap
starter pack to getting your funds out
to venture forth to buy bigger and
better Salako records. ‘ Musicality ‘, is a
triumphant second album, mixing up its
stylistic approach and getting away with
it in much the same delightful manner
as Gorkys’ do, and very often Ween.
Next time the wages pile in or
you find an extra fiver down the back of
the settee, leave alone that humdrum
okay as it goes new album from the
supergroup ‘ Oasibluripulpsis ‘, or the
inevitable Shine 2,046 release, and
instead sign the cheque to Jeepster.
So spare a thought or two for
the highly flammable creative think tank
known as Salako and treasure them if
you please, or they may one day be cast
out as peasants and suffer the Gorkys’
like of no fixed record label abode, but
maybe not be so fortunate in finding a
happy second home.
The continuing success of this
tour is demonstrative of the popularity
of this comedian. Although he was
brought to the nation’s attention on
They Think It’s All Over, the sports panel
game, Lee has barely been seen on
television since quitting the program in
1997. He stopped doing television
because “there’s just lots of politics
involved, lots of hanging around waiting,
and meetings after meetings after
meetings. Doing the actual gig is fine
though.” Although by giving up his
television career he made his job a
whole lot more difficult, he doesn’t
regret the move at all, “without it I
couldn’t have got to where I’ve got, so
I’m not going to knock
the end result, It’s just
the route that you take
to get there.”
!
D
A
E
H
P
A
SL
MOI?
DARREN PICKERING.
Since walking out on
television, the man
whose job was once to
take the piss out of
Gary Linekar (an easy target, surely?)
has had to find new ways to pass the
time. One of these, apart from touring,
was the opening of his own venue, the
Backyard Comedy Club in Bethnal
Green, East London. Having taken 1999
off to promote the club (“I would like to
say I was taking a rest, but it was
probably one of the hardest years I’ve
ever done!”), he is back on tour now that
it is off the ground: “It’s paying off - we’re
doing really well now.”
Comedy as a career was not a
consideration for Lee until he was 27
years old. Before then he had a wide
variety of jobs, such as working in a
building society and running a market
stall (“you name it, I’ve done it”). But
before long he had established a
reputation on the London comedy
circuit and found his way into writing for
radio. He was discovered by the
producers of They Think It’s All Over
when doing warm-up routines for other
BBC programmes in 1995. Since then he
hasn’t looked back.
Lee’s
continuing
success,
despite no longer being on television, is a
testament to his talent and popularity.
So if you haven’t already got a ticket for
May 29 I would suggest you buy one
now.
ALSO STARRING
Two dandy fellows who go by the
name of Roger Mellie (the man
on the Telly) and John Chilton
visit Nuffield theatre to shoot
the shit about Jazz music and that.
Sounds pretty fuckin’ good to me.
Check it oooooout!
CRAZEE OIRISH TRIO HIT THE NUFFIELD
The Nualas are from Ireland. They sing
and they could easily be mistaken for a
drag act. I don’t know much about
Ireland - The Corrs come from Ireland,
so do B*Witched, who were once
photographed in The Edge office. My
favourite Corr is Jim, because he can play
the guitar AND keyboards, which are
cool instruments. The girls play fiddles
and drums. Everybody knows that girls
are rubbish at drums, but I digress. I also
like Ballykissangel, which is about Irish
people. It was really sad when that
woman died.
Anyway,The Nualas sing “funny”
songs, a bit like those Australians off Live
And Kicking on BBC1, and they’re playing
at the Nuffield Theatre soon, so, if you
like that kind of thing, go.
ANDREW SNOWBALL
Page 22
Where’s John Bonham
when you need him?
Jenny Seagrove: Grrrr!
‘Mother & Daughters’ strring
Jenny Seagrove and Sylvia Syms is a
delightful and occasionally raffish
programme, rich in humour and
simple wisdom, it gives us mothers
and daughters from every angle.
4th June 730pm.
Page 23
THE EDGE
WESSEX SCENE
The summer is nearly upon us, so it’s time for The Edge’s annual...
FANTASY DRESSING
FESTIVAL ROUNDUP
It’s summer (kind of) again, and to The Edge that means only one thing - festivals! Yep, it’s that time of year where you pay good
money to have your tent, and all its contents, nicked by some cheeky scoundrel, all in the name of a non-existent festival ‘spirit’ in
the vain hope that you might actually witness a good set from Paul Weller. So, if this sounds like your ideal holiday, follow The Edge’s
fabulous guide to this summer’s festivals, and then throw it out when you find out that half of the featured bands have cancelled due
to ‘exhaustion’. If you only want to see Travis or Stereophonics don’t bother reading on, they’re playing everywhere.
V2000
The most commercial and despised of the
festivals, nevertheless it has some good music,
most notably Richard Ashcroft’s first solo gig, but
it’s only two days long. Any hopes of achieving
credibility have been scuppered by the presence
of the malevolent Barenaked Ladies.
Richard Ashcroft,Travis, Macy Gray, Paul Weller, Ocean
Colour Scene, Supergrass, James, Moby, B*r*n*k*d L*d**s,
All Saints, Mansun, Beth Orton, Joe Strummer, Feeder,
Coldplay,Webb Brothers, Death in Vegas, Groove Armada,
Kelis, Underworld, Moloko, Bentley Rhythm Ace,
Morcheeba,The Flaming Lips, Bloodhound Gang, Soulwax,
Hefner, Manchild,
Saint Etienne,
Toploader,
Semisonic, Dum
Dums, Andreas
Johnson, Bootleg
Beatles, David
Gray, Seb
Fontaine, Sasha,
Guy Ornadel,
Hybrid, Pete
Bromley, Sander
Kleinenberg, Lee
Burridge, Craig
Richards.
Paul Wellaaah!
MAY
23
23
25
29
30
Doves & Orangecan
Portsmouth Wedgewood Rms
X-Hail + Snaffler
Joiners
King Adora
Joiners
Glitterbug
Joiners
Bentley Rhythm Ace
Portsmouth Wedgewood Rms
JUNE
2
5
6
11
Crashland & Motorhomes
Joiners
The Crocketts
Joiners
Looper
Portsmouth Wedgeroom Rms
Coldplay
Joiners
Page 24
Glastonbury
Despite selling its soul to the makers of piss-weak
beer (it is now called the ‘Carling Weekend’),
Reading and Leeds promises possibly the best
festival line-up this year.
Consistently the best and most diverse festival,
last year saw a huge boost in popularity due to
the lack of rain. Once again, though, farmer Eavis
has improved the draining system (just in case!)
and he promises more toilets will be added
(courtesy of the Manics, perhaps?). This year’s
rumoured bill is possibly a bit shit, due to the
presence of a large number of easy-listening
crooners, tired has-beens and Mansun.
August 25-28
Richfield Avenue, Reading & Temple Newsam, Leeds
Price: £80 weekend ticket including camping, £30 day
ticket
August 19-20
Hylands park, Chelmsford & Weston park, Staffordshire
Price £66 weekend ticket, plus camping, £37.50 day ticket
SPEND YOUR HARD
EARNED DOSH AT THESE
FAB NIGHTS
Reading/Leeds
Oasis, Pulp, Stereophonics, Primal Scream, Beck, Placebo,
Foo Fighters, Rage Against The Machine, Gomez, Placebo,
Gorky’s Zygotic Monkey, Doves, Limp Bizkit,The
Bluetones, Super Furry Animals, Slipknot, Blink 182, ADF,
Elastica, Eminem, Idlewild,The Delgados, My Vitriol, Cay, A,
Muse, Embrace, Ian Brown,Wannadies, Shack, Shed Seven,
Badly Drawn Boy.
June 23-25
Worthy Farm, Pilton, Somerset
Price: £89 for weekend tickets, including camping etc.
David Bowie, Stereophonics,Travis, Pet Shop Boys,
Chemical Brothers, Catatonia, Paul McCartney, Moby, Foo
Fighters, Leftfield, Burt Bacharach, Eurythmics, James,
Engelbert Humperdinck, Death in Vegas, Joe Strummer,
Mogwai, Mansun, Ocean Colour Scene, Placebo, Reef,The
Smashing Pumpkins, Bloodhound Gang,The Bluetones,
Macy Gray.
Stereophonics
Dan
Wassup kids, just like to say nice one to all
me main buds Alex, Rod, Snowball, Manj,
Porn Star Tim, and all the Wessex Scene
crew. Also Keun-Wah & JT. Fruity, Jim and
Wes for making a teenage dream come
true. Colin the tosser (I have photo proof!)
my house chums and my long-suffering
girlie, Mary.Thankyou all, love ya. Here’s to
Peace, love, and Carter USM.
Alex
Boys, it’s been fun. High fives to JT (at home
and at uni - what a star) and all who we
succeeded. Dan, Rod (Liam Gallagher), Andy,
Darren, Manj,Tim,Vickie, Katherine - it’s
been a pleasure. Lizzie, for patience, lifts and
love.To all who made it a brilliant year and
helped keep The Edge on the edge. It was a
fight.
Vickie Clay
27 March, saw Southampton
Guildhall playing host to an
eclectic energising mix of
fashion,
music,
skateboarding and some of
the best breakdancers in the
business.
SHOUT OUTS & BIG U P S
Dan, Alex and Rod would
just like to thank a few souls
for their help over the last
couple of years.
IN SOUTHAMPTON
Rod
Cheers to Leah @ Inpho,Toby @
Mainsource, all @ Future Tracks, Rhianne
@ Ministry of Sound,Tim @ Vision, Mr.
Ian Cheek. My contributors: JP, Darren,
Zac, Mike,Will and a different Mike.
Good luck to Charlotte for next year.
Pills, thrills and bellyaches.
One final Edge salute from Rod.
He still thinks he’s Liam Gallagher!
H20 returned with a vengence in
March for it’s second year, building on
its previous year’s success and proving
to Southampton they could,yet again,
bring the house down with some of the
best fashion on the Southampton
scene accompanied by seriously funky
tunes.
For makimg The Edge what it is, please stand
for: Nick,Vickie H, Pomona, Karen @ Hall or
Nothing, Chris @ Stone Immaculate, Burt @
BMG, Polly @ Chrysalis/Echo, Sid @
Revolution, Seth @ Wild,Tim @ Impressive,
John @ Excess Press, Paula @ LD, James @
Joiners, Dolly & Elliot @ Virgin, Harry & Jo @
Making Waves, Fatima @ Sony, Ian Cheek. the
porters and especially the lovely ladies in the
General Office. Cheers guys and gals!
How could we pass up the opportunity for
one final diss to all those who bitched, sniped
and put our backs up all year. Here we go...
A.T. C.P. K.M. Broker Forms, that ginger
bloke from Ents, the jobsworths in The
Piazza, pikeys on Burgess Rd, Dave Pearce for
not reading out our Shout Outs and Steve
Lamacq for standing us up.You’ll get yours...
Rachael Wood from
Southampton
Institute.
The fashion show began with future
hopeful fashion students from the
Southampton Institute, proving they
might just have what it takes to be the
next Stella McCartney or Alexander
McQueen. Rachel Wood, who already
has a job lined up at Prada confirmed just
why that
was
the
case.
unstylish, badly cut, and blatant poor
designer rip-offs which exhibited no
resemblance to their originals and even
the low prices would not persuade me
to enter Pilot. Urban Angel too,
showed how not to dress clubbing.
Cheap and tacky PVC was their major
accompanied by their usual reliable
classics for Summer 2000. Capolita
Roma maintained their affiliation with
the colour black, as ever always the
safe option. Timeless yet forever at the
cutting edge of fashion.
The fashion show
came to a close with
‘Britain’s best break
dancers’, who were
(even in my novice
opinion)
very
impressive, cutting some serious
moves on the catwalk! The evening
was far from over when the fashion
show ended, however it certainly set
the mood for some banging Drum and
Bass and showed that Southampton
(although not the fashion capital of the
world) can certainly throw a party!
‘Skateboard met with space age to provide H20 with
a decadent mixture of stylish casual clothes.’
The recent
facelift
Levi’s has encountered, has turned
around their dwindling trade. The new
collection modelled at H2O displayed
the best of their new lines, the sta-prest
jeans and one pocketed Levi’s have
deservedly brought them back to their
previous cult status.
P i l o t ’ s
collection
displayed to the
a u d i e n c e
Urban Angels or
Stringfellows? Your
guess is as good as
ours!
selling point, which frankly would only
suffice for a dancer in Stringfellow’s.
Moist and Just Add Water provided
the best of the night’s urban cool. Back
this season the ever-popular cropped
trousers and sleeveless tops, both
remain fashionable for men and
women. Skateboard met with
space age to provide H20 with
a decadent mixture of stylish
casual
clothes.
French
Connection’s contribution
displayed some innovative
brightly patterned pieces,
Pure style... brought
to us by Moist and
Just Add Water
Page 20
WESSEX SCENE
FEATURES
She’s the
one
With the end of term fast approaching, it
seems that everyone is running around
like lunatics trying to cram in that last bit
of revision and more importantly, making
plans with what to do over the Summer.
So with Summer in mind we have got the
ultimate guide to getting out there into
the big wide world and doing something
different. But don’t despair if you are a
3rd year and being attacked by the fear
of getting a career because we have got
two alternative careers for you to
choose from. They may not be the kind
of jobs that you had in ind when you
started your degree but they are
certainly erm different...
With this being the last issue of this year
I guess it’s time to wish you all good luck
in your exams and a fantastic Summer.
For those of you that will be back next
year then get ready for a new Wessex
Scene with a fresh set of editors and lots
of new ideas but if your finally leaving for
the last time then good luck from all of
us.
Luv Katherine
WESSEX SCENE
WHEN WE HUR T
OURSELVES
‘Oh yeah. I have had to go to the ER for cutting too
deep with glass and the nurses and doctors there
acted very strange and mad. I do not cut or burn for
sympathy, I do not want sympathy from anyone, and I
just want to be treated for my injuries and left the hell
alone’ (Female, aged 22, 2 years of self abuse, 3 years
of college)
With one in every hundred people
using some form of self-harm it is
hard to believe that it remains a
taboo subject.
March 1 was National Self-Injury
Awareness Day but how much do you
know about a problem that could be
right under your nose?
The Facts
Self-Injury is self-inflicted physical harm
severe enough to cause tissue damage or
marks that last for several hours.
Self-Injury is often done without suicidal
intent or intent to attain sexual pleasure.
It is generally done as a way of coping
with emotion, to deal with feelings of
unreality or numbness, to make
flashbacks stop, to punish the self and
stop self-hating thought or to deal with a
feeling of impending explosion.
Cutting is the most common form of
self-injury, burning and head banging are
also very common. Other forms include
biting, skin-picking, hair pulling, hitting the
body with objects or hitting objects with
the body.
Why Do People Self-Injure?
Although probably a result of many
factors, self injury is often found to be
related to lack of role models and
invalidation -many self abusers report
abuse as children- and often have not
found a way of expressing themselves
emotionally. There is also some evidence
to suggest that sufferers may have
specific problems in the brain, which
increase impulsive and aggressive
behaviour and mean that the sense of
overwhelming emotion is relieved from
an act of self-harm. In other words, selfharming reduces tension to a level that
can be coped with.
Who is likely to self-injure?
The unfortunate fact is that self-injurers
can come from all walks of life. People
may be male or female; gay, straight, or bi;
Ph.D.s or high-school dropouts. Often
sufferers can function effectively in
demanding jobs; they are teachers,
medical professionals, lawyers and
professors.
Princess of
Dolly Mixers @ The Escape Club will be
hosting the winner of the TIA MARIA
female DJ competition, launched with
Page 21
Dolly Mixers is an all female DJ night that
features the crËme de la crËme of the
country’s established DJs and also
provides a platform on which to raise
exciting new female talent.The night is so
popular that men are begging to play -
What treatment is available?
There is no magic pill that can cure selfinjurers but in certain cases drugs such
as antidepressants can be used. Longterm treatments are based on finding
other ways of coping that are just as
effective at relieving tension as the selfinjury.
What can I do?
Self-injurers often keep it a secret, as it
is a release of tension as oppose to
attention seeking. Look out for those
close to you. They may be one of the
many who suffer in silence.
Illustration by Miles Kluth
The Observer has designed a
competition to find young
creative
and
dynamic
photographers who will redefine
photojournalism for the future.
Plus you can win money into
the bargain!
The competition
is open
to student,
amateur and
professional
photojournalists
aged 30 and under
and the judges will
be
looking
for
compelling
and
thought
provoking
images from all aspects of
photographic reportage.
This
can
include
photojournalism,
documentary
photography and
portraiture.
1st prize is
£3000 plus an
expenses paid
assignment
for
the
Obser ver
and there are
cash prizes for 1st,
2nd, and 3rd places. The
best student entry receives a
further prize of £1500 and a topof-the-range Olympus camera. So for
any budding photojournalists out there
this competition is a must.
Set up in 1986, the Observer Hodge
Photographic Award is dedicated to the
memory of David Hodge who died aged
just 29, as a result of injuries received
whilst covering the Brixton Riots. Past
winners include Harriet Logan and
Jonathan Olley and now there is the
chance for you to join both these and
the many other photographers who
have been recognised in this
competition.
Application forms are available by
phoning 0181 664 7353.All photos must
be taken between 1 June 1999 and 31
May 2000 so get snapping as the closing
date for the competition is 30 June
2000.For more information surf to
www.newsunlimited.co.uk/observe
r/hodgeaward.
Photographs provided by the
Observer.
(centre: 1997 Best Student, left:
winner of 1998, right: winner of
1999)
as we say goodbye to the 3rd years for the last time
Donna Seaman.
Escape for a Wicked Night with
Tia Maria and Cola
XFADE magazine, who will be playing her
first set alongside one of clubland’s leading
ladies, Miss Jo Lively!
THEN DO IT WITH THE OBSERVER HODGE PHOTOGRAPHIC COMP!
Thanks for the memories...
Darkness
You’ve met Miss Jo Lively, You’ve met
Sonique... but have you met the Princess
of Darkness? If not, make it a wicked
weekend with TIA MARIA and get down
to Dolly Mixers @ The Escape Club in
Brighton on Saturday 3 June 2000.
READY
TO
SNAP?
they even offer to dress up in drag!
If you’re up for a wicked weekend, then
the Wessex Scene has three pairs of
tickets to Dolly Mixers at The Escape for
Saturday 3 June plus a miniature TIA
MARIA and cola to give away.
For your chance to win, phone the TIA
MARIA HOTLINE on 0171 439 7828.
Winners will be notified within 48 hours.
As a third year coming to the end of
my final year, I am finding myself
thinking more and more about my
university experience as a whole.
What have I learnt from living in
Southampton beyond Shakespeare,
Woolf, Descartes, to name but a few of
the copious authors
that English students
have endeavoured to
read.
University
has
certainly been a
successful and enjoyable experience. I
have had the most amazing fun and
made some brilliant friends. I’m also on
target for my degree so my life here
has been a lot more than crazy drinkfuelled fun at Jesters.
Perhaps what I’m about to relate will
advise first years who are about to
make that exciting change from hall to
house. Perhaps it will interest those of
you who have already done that and are
about to finish like myself. I have realised
how people differ from hall to house,
that your house mates have to be chosen
very carefully in the first year, that toilet
roll, milk and washing-up can become
amazingly fraught issues. Perhaps, it’s a
bad thing to say but I think I’ve learnt
are the couples, the singles, the drunks,
the shy, the mad and the loud, the geeky,
the seemingly boring. The stereotypes
we’ve all seen in American high school
movies really do exist but usually they
just need to be understood and people
make conclusions too swiftly. There’s
usually much more depth to a person
than you originally realise.
‘I have propped up my hall bar for a year
and I’ve lived in Jesters for the last two.’
more from this lifestyle than from my
actual degree. Accommodation can be
scanky and horrible, or you can fall on
your feet and have a nice house with
great housemates. I’m certainly lucky
with that this year.
I look around the union and see that
there are clear types of students. There
There are the students whose
names are everywhere. They
enthusiastically volunteer for
everything and will inevitabley
go far. There are also those
like myself who mean to do everything
and realise too late on they could have
done something if they’d actually got
round to it. It may be a bit late for me as
I’m about to finish but for everyone else
out there, join things now. You’ll be glad
you did.
Instead of joining societies, I have
propped up my hall bar for a year and
I’ve lived in Jesters for the last two. My
housemate and I had a scary realisation
the other day that we’ve probably spent
a similar amount of money on rent to
our landlady as we have on Jesters
vodka and Academy shots. I can’t say I
regret this at all, as I just have to look at
the photos on my wall and see the
inane drunken grins from the last two
years. It’s been hilarious.
University is nearly over and I’m sure
I’ll be crying when I give my keys back
to our landlady. I can now look back
and laugh at the regrettable first-year
flings that we’ve all had. Things and
people that seemed so serious at the
time now appear so pointless and
immaterial. First years, I advise you to
live university to the full because
mistakes are just funny when you look
back. Enjoy every minute but work on
that degree too.
Page 22
WESSEX SCENE
WESSEX SCENE
ON THE JOB!
By Laura Macnamara
Worried
about
getting
a
Desmond...petrified of getting a
Douglas?! Fret no more, as the
alternative careers column is here to
promote the fact that a degree is not
the be all and end all.
There are fulfilling, interesting and even
exciting careers available for those
whose degree has fallen by the wayside.
Here are a couple of suggestions.
PRIVATE INVESTIGATOR
“a modern knight in search of the
hidden truth”
There are currently in the region of
4,000 private investigators working in
the UK.
Peter Robinson of the
Nationwide Investigations Group who
specialise in both corporate and
personal investigations set me straight
on this well-regarded and currently
underrated occupation.
How does someone become a Private
investigator?
Until now it was basically a selfgoverned industry, this is now being
tightened up with the introduction of
licences which will require, among other
things, completion of a NVQ (level 3) in
‘Investigation’.
What personal qualities are needed to
become a private investigator?
This industry is made up of oddballs, but
it does contain a broad range of
characters.
Due to the
nature of the job it’s
necessary to be extremely
scrupulous and discrete.
University students aren’t
best suited to this job
because they have no
experience in life and just
aren’t streetwise enough.
What
do
private
Do you
investigators earn?
Trainees earn about £10,000,
but this soon rises and an experienced
investigator earns about £30,000
upwards. Be prepared to work long,
unsociable hours.
What kind of technology do private
investigators work with?
We basically sell information, so up-todate technology is a must. The work
mostly involves the use of high-tech
computers and cameras. Cameras come
in everything you can think of like pens,
watches, cigarettes and matchboxes.
Where do you draw the line with clients’
requests?
Anything illegal is out of the question we get requests to bump people off and
the like.
Do you fancy yourself as a bit of a Fabio/
Lindsay Dawn McKenzie? If that’s the
case this is the job for you! If you are the
eternal
attentionseeking exhibitionist,
with a penchant for
dance, look no
further.
Nick Harvey,
manager of
FYEO (the
well-known
chain of table
Dare to Bare
dancing
clubs)
in
Bournemouth, gave me the
lowdown on what it takes to
become a dancer.
What are you looking for in a
potential dancer at your club?
We are after attractive and
outgoing males and females,
between the ages of 18-30.
We take on all sorts of people,
from students to young mums
to professional dancers. Variety is the
key and as everyone likes something
different we employ dancers of all shapes
and sizes, within reason of course.
What pay do dancers receive?
The dancers are work for themselves,
and earn about £10 a dance and a
portion of this goes to the club.
EXOTIC DANCER
What’s involved in the dancing?
There’s a brief stage dancing piece
where the dancers can show a bit of
individuality, on stage are two poles and
a cage. Then they do the table dancing,
which not only requires dancing but
also a bit of chatting. You’ve got to be
prepared to wear just a
thong for some of the
dancing.
What kind of clientele
do you get in FYEO?
Everything
from
bricklayers
to
barristers. FYEO is
renowned for it’s
passive atmosphere.
Our dancers are very
safe,
and
the
customers know this
so we hardly ever get
any trouble.
You can see for
yourself what it takes
to be a dancer, as FYEO
have kindly offered two free pairs of
tickets, one for the boys and one for
the girls. All you need to do is e-mail
me at [email protected] stating why
you should win the tickets, the two best
reasons will be the lucky winners.
Alternatively, visit FYEO on a
Wednesday evening for their student
night.
DR E A M DR I V E
Iain Mcintosh
Subaru Impreza Turbo 2000 AWD
Cost: £ 20,950
0-62 mph: 5.2 seconds
Top Speed: 144 mph
Maximum power: 218 bph@5600 rpm
Maximum torque: 290 Nm@4000 rpm
Since being launched five years ago the
Impreza has really rocked the boat. This
understated work of art has literally
conquered the world. It has won the
World Rally Championship three times.
Subaru have won the JD power, car
customer satisfaction survey for two
consecutive years. The Impreza is
inexpensive yet it’s one of the most
reliable cars on the road. It’s lightning fast
but you could take your family and tow a
caravan to Bognor for a holiday. It’s
Japanese and the bloke at the lights in his
whale tail Cosworth will not only
respect the beast, he’ll be choking on its
dust. Dr Jeckle may I introduce you to
Mr Hyde.
When sitting behind the wheel the only
clues to the potential of this car are the
deep bucket seats and the large air
Page 23
scoop, which you cannot fail to notice.
Start the engine and at tick-over there is
an incredibly satisfying rumble. Still
nothing too shocking, the interior is fairly
plain and only a close inspection reveals
that the speedometer reads to 160mph.
However the moment this car begins to
roll along the tarmac you know you are
driving something special. The Impreza
feels well balanced and the ride is
incredible, surpassing any other saloon
car I’ve driven. Cornering is fantastic the
Impreza is so well poised taking bends
with confidence and composure at
speed. I find myself relaxing enjoying the
drive through the leafy countryside. Fast
B roads are easily handled by the higher
gears, with so much power being
available from the two litre turbocharged engine.
A lorry slows this effortless progress.
Not for very long though. A quick flick
through the gearbox finds second.
Squeeze the loud pedal towards the
floor. The turbo really kicking in as the
revs rise above 4000 rpm. Engine
growling, the rev-counter needle flicks
around the dial. Progress slows
momentarily as the engine hits the rev
limiter. A quick touch into third and
normal service is resumed, the car
absolutely flying now, accelerator still
nailed.This car has again reminded me of
how performance can shrink the road.
I’m now far beyond the legal limit. The
Impreza possesses powerful brakes and
fearsome amounts of traction; visibility is
really the limiting factor when cornering.
Taking sweeping corners in third gear,
manoeuvring precisely across the road is
very satisfying, accelerating hard out of
them even more so. I drove the car on
dry roads but in the wet the four-wheel
drive ensures that you can get the power
down when you need to.
It becomes easy to see how the world
went crazy over the Impreza. I have
driven more powerful, faster cars. None
of these were as comfortable or as
practical as the Impreza. I was expecting
the car to be far more ragged. What
really surprised me was how well made
it was. Road noise was minimal, there
were no rattles or creaks, a very smooth
drive. If you set aside performance the
Impreza is a really good car.This is not in
anyway to say that it has been tamed. It
has rocket-ship performance, in the real
world from point A to B there are very
few cars that can keep pace with it.The
rally heritage shines through, instilling a
sense of control and precision. The
Impreza gives the driver a real
confidence, it is not about to do the
unexpected but it could certainly handle
the occasional surprise on the road. For
normal day to day use the Impreza
would be fine, however it would be
impossible not to take advantage of its
more sinister side. I can only
recommend this car if you have a great
deal of self-control. The Impreza will
take your licence, chew it up and spit it
out. The Impreza has won many awards
and been praised highly by so many. It
deserves it.
Many thanks to Millway Cars Salisbury,
Subaru(UK) and Samantha Prosser.
Photo’s: Andy Baguley
Devils Advocate
Do Nudists Have the Right Idea?
YES
“Being naked isn’t about taking off your
clothes - it’s about taking of your mask
and revealing the feelings at the core of
who you are.”
[Real Moments for Lovers - Barbara
DeAngelis PhD.]
Please don’t mistake me in thinking that I
am advocating nudity on a full term basis.
As my esteemed colleague shall no doubt
point out, a village of naked Eskimos
would not last very long. However it is
my fervent belief that clothes are the
root of many evils, and that it would
therefore be socially beneficial for people
to get naked more often than they do,
even at university.
Clothes have begun to say far too much
about social status. Try wearing a Barney
the Dinosaur T-shirt in the average
American (or Brixton) school yard and
escaping within an inch of your life.
Japanese
schoolgirls
prostitute
themselves to buy the latest Gucci
handbag and Oscar-goers spend more
money on single items of clothing than
AU members spend on beer. Instead of
something natural or even beautiful, the
human body is now generally considered
either vulgar or erotic, and although we
may be grateful for the censors that
intervene in ‘Queer as Folk’ we are still
hung up about exposing our children to
nudity because we think that it’s all about
sex.
Clothes have begun to say too much
about reputation and copulation, and my
solution is - learning to be naked. For a
start, it would be cheaper. In hot weather
there would no need for small strappy
tops that have no insulating value anyway,
underwear would be fairly unnecessary
and wedgies would be a thing of the past.
Just think how in touch we would all feel
with nature, and how large and pretty
our auras would be! Women could begin
to feel comfortable with their body hair,
and clothing would no longer indicate
social status, sexual orientation, or
whether you slept in your own bed the
night before. Waking up in the morning
would be a pleasure without agonising,
Clueless-type clothing ordeals to endure.
I therefore believe being naked to be
quite a nice idea. I have a dream that one
day people shall no longer be persecuted
for wanting to wear pink leggings.
Women will not cause traffic accidents
by going topless in hot weather, and tan
lines will be a thing of the past.When this
dream becomes reality, social barriers
will tumble, Calvin Klein will fade into
obscurity and everyone will discover the
pleasures of going commando. Yes, I have
a dream. The dream of a Nudist.
NO
Whilst on the streets of a nearby town I
had the joys of seeing a man dressed in
his birthday suit with the exception of a
small box covering his tackle.
Brandishing his sign demanding “Equal
Rights for Nudists!” As with so many
activists I wasn’t really sure what he was
demanding. The right to be naked? The
right to free himself from the materials
of an oppressive capitalist society or
merely some perverse voyeurism?
For those lucky enough to be able to
view the joys of watching Channel 5 you
will probably be aware of their plans to
have a week of nudism. So after months
of cheesy soft porn we now brace
ourselves for the delights of Keith
Chegwin in the nod. Great.
Now you can call me old fashioned but
the thought of turning on my telly whilst
I eat my dinner and seeing a wrinkly old
presenter ‘hanging out’ on the box does
really hold well with my digestive system.
Cynics would argue that if it were a
more attractive individual I wouldn’t
have a problem - guess again. Anyone
who has to get naked to get an audience
doesn’t deserve to be on the screen.
Let’s be practical about the issue shall
we. Fancy being naked in Jesters - OK so
it’s a reality for some of the AU members
but the thought of so many naked drunks
can’t be a good idea.Anyone for a bacon
sandwich? Lets see you naturalists serve
up a decent fry up without giving
yourself a set of burns in places you
really don’t want them.
Freeing yourself from the chains of
materialism is a promising theory but
you have to remember what you are
giving up. Think safety fancy traipsing
through town in bare feet, snow fights
would be a thing of the past the chances
of hypothermia are strong all year round
on this grey isle. Lost will be the ancient
art of streaking, a true disaster for those
boring pub league football finals.
Face facts it’s a nice idea if you have the
build of a Greek God but most of us are
mere mortals bulges in unflattering
places and essentially not a pleasant
sight.
We would just like to say sorry to Jo and Sunil for the misprint in the last issue containing the Battle of the Super Heroes Sorry Guys!!!!!!!!
Vino or Nono
normally expect gives way to a surprising
smoothness, probably the result of the
warm Mediterranean climate in which it
was produced. Of the two whites I must
say the Bordeaux is the better though
Mark Bannister £2.99 on this one would not be money
A store very close to all of hearts, Safeways Portswood, is the subject of this issue’s wasted.
wine review.The choice of wines does seem a little daunting and many people will
simply grab either the first bottle to hand, or the cheapest, or the wine with the South Eastern Australia Oaked
fanciest label. Often this haphazard approach results in disappointment and Cabernet Sauvignon 1998, 12.5%
perhaps puts you off buying wine, at least until the next time you fancy getting £4.99
Review Rating - 7*
pissed for not a lot of grant money! If this sounds familiar then read on.
At great personal sacrifice I have prepared for you my guide to the sort of wine My expectations of this wine were quite
you should (or shouldn’t) be buying from what is for most us our local high and sadly not met. Though a good
and eminently drinkable red wine I do
supermarket.The selection comprises of five wines and all less than £5.
not think it lives up to its £4.99 price tag.
unless you only like very dry wines, you
The flavour is pleasantly spicy and ripe
find this one of the most drinkable white
Bordeaux Blanc 1998, 11.5% £3.49*
and is underscored by a definite
wines on the shelf.
Review Rating - 8*
blackcurrant fruitiness that blends well
This fruity, crisp medium dry white wine
with the quite heavy oak presence. I
El Velero 1998, 11% £2.99
is superbly drinkable and a brilliant
would advise you to leave this wine open
Review Rating - 7*
combination of good quality wine and
for an hour or so before drinking, doing
I am not a huge fan of £2.99 wines, I
flavours that do not overpower but slide
so markedly improves it.
prefer to spend £3.50 on something that
down easily and, most importantly,
I can be more certain
enjoyably. My advice is to buy two
Cone Sur Cabernet Sauvignon
I’ll like. This wine does go some way,
bottles of this because the first bottle
1999, 13.5% £4.99
however,
in
persuading
me
will disappear at an astonishing rate.The
Review Rating - 9*
otherwise,though perhaps not so
wine, though described on the bottle as
Unlike the last I would happily pay the
far as to change my opinion altogether!
a medium dry, does verge on sweet,
asking price for this rather stylish wine. It
This is a far more acidic wine than the
again a good combination with the best
is well presented both in packaging as
first though the sharpness one would
aspects of each. I am fairly sure that
well as in taste. It’s rather sharp young
initial flavours are well balanced by
its more mature smoother finish, in
my opinion the mark of a good red
wine. Again to get the most out of
this wine its worth opening and
even decanting it, if possible, a
while before you intend on
drinking it.This is altogether a very
good buy and definitely one of the
better red wines on offer.
Cape Soleil Organic Pinotage
1998, 12.5% £4.99
Review Rating - 8*
Having never tried an organic wine
I was quite looking forward to this
experience and was pleasantly
surprised by the wine’s complexity
and structure.The time it has spent
maturing in oak is definitely
apparent and possibly slightly
overpowering. It’s rich scarlet
colour and translucence are
perhaps endemic of being an
organically grown wine. Not being
put off from trying organic wine, I
think another organic white wine
may well feature in a future review.
*Prices correct at time of printing
Page 24
WESSEX SCENE
TRAVEL
Jenni Dixon
Last summer, myself and my best mate,
Nic, decided, for some unknown reason,
to spend nine whole weeks working in
the kitchens of an American kid’s camp.
And here are just some of the weird and
wondrous people we were forced to
work with:
Eric: Boys camp headmaster, a total
hypocrite and sergeant major type.
Drew: Head ‘chef’ and our immediate
boss. A total twat; authority v. much
gone to his head; fat, ugly, with a dead rat
across his top lip masquerading as a
moustache; unable to find a wife, even in
the Philippines.
Mike: absolutely lovely, our complete
saviour, and absolutely obese.
Billy and Norman: two ‘yokel’ lads who
looked like they’d been sodomised in
the local detention centre; thick as
anything
and
allegedly
working with us in the
kitchens.
Even though we
were actually kitchen
staff, Nic and I were
invited to partake in the
first counsellor hike, in
order to get to know
people better. Eric
advised me not to
forget a trowel, and
I, being a total
indoorsy
type,
asked why? would we be
d i g g i n g
herbaceous
borders? Nic
later explained
that it would
be used if we
needed to relieve ourselves in
the woods.Whoops. I was also informed
that we would be hiking up a mountain
of 4000 feet or so, and this didn’t really
phase me at first (even though I come
from the flattest part of Britain) but
climbing a mountain bigger than Ben
WESSEX SCENE
Amer ican Tale
Nevis came as quite a shock to the
system. The area, the Adirondacks, is
famous for having 46 mountains over
4000 feet, and you were a social outcast
until you had climbed all 46, thus
becoming a ‘Forty-Sixer’. The reward for
this feat was merely your name on a
register and a number, and yet this was
what everyone in Adirondack society
aspired to. When I returned to camp I
couldn’t wait to phone my family to
inform them of my achievement, but my
mum’s response was along the lines of :
‘Oh, that’s nice dear. Did I tell you we’re
re-doing the kitchen?’
Our working day began at
6.30am and finished at 7pm, and as the
days progressed, we realised just how
awful Drew was, how lazy Billy and
Norman were, and how little we were
getting paid. All evenings were free,
which was great apart from the fact that
there was no where to go but the
nearest bar/shack that was run by a
man/woman called Bunny, where
we couldn’t even drink as
we were both under
21, and involved having
find someone with a car
willing to drive us there
and back. Most evenings
were spent in the car park
guzzling down illegally
bought beer in an attempt
to drown our sorrows.
However, in the morning, if
Drew had any reason to
believe you were hung-over,
you were order to go on
scrambled egg duty. Bastard. The
one thing that got me out of bed
in the morning was writing the
menu board. This ‘responsibility’
was almost very nearly taken away
from me, when, in describing
‘bolognese sauce’ I wrote ‘random
meat sauce’, and, according to Drew,
single handedly stopped the entire camp
from eating. I wouldn’t have minded so
much if it had not been true, and if the
boys camp’s favourite game had not been
the ‘Kosovo Liberation Game’, based on
the ethnic cleansing of the Balkans. Thus,
it was okay for Eric to go around
shouting ‘Genocide, go go go!’, whereas I
couldn’t truthfully write up what camp
bolognese sauce consisted of. By the
third week Nic and I were looking for
loop holes in our contracts, and by the
fourth we had taken to digging tunnels,
stowing away on boats and mini buses,
and swimming across the camp lake,
trying to escape.
Looking back, the friends we did make on
camp and our travelling around America
did, just about, make
the camp experience
worthwhile. But only
just.
I will always
remember
that
summer as one that
combined the best of
time with the worst of
times.
Nic and I,
although living in each
others pockets for
three months, never
once quarrelled - the
whole thing had made us even closer
friends - and not a day goes by without a
memory of camp entering my mind and
making me burst out laughing. I am so
proud that we both survived, sense of
humour still intact, to tell our tale.
travel update !!!
Making plans for the summer?
Looking for a post gradutaion challenge?
Then fear not as this page is entirely dedicated to ideas for travel and working abroad...
Mission Impossible
Your challenge, should you choose to
accept it, is to experience the
breathtaking countryside of either
Canada or Mongolia and to raise money
for the Macmillan Cancer Relief charity
along the way!
The Mongolia Cycling Challenge
Get on yer bike for a 385km trip from
the edge of the Gobi Desert, across the
Khangai mountains, and ending in the
historic city of Karakorum. This 13 day
cycle-run off the beaten track, whilst not
for the faint hearted, offers the chance of
a real nomadic experience and to soak
up the awe inspiring landscape that is
unique to Mongolia.
TRAVEL! WORK! GET PAID! SIMPLE
Travel the world, boost your career...and it won’t cost you a penny! VSO are seeking graduates to fill a wide range of challenging and
exciting work placements overseas. VSO works in over 60 countries throughout Africa, Asia, and the Pacific.
If you are self confident with a good sense of humour, can work well with people and respect other cultures you then you could be
taking one of the 200 placements available each year and take on the challenging role of teaching overseas.
Most placements are for two years and volunteers can make a long term practical difference to some of the most disadvantaged
communities overseas and grab the unique opportunity to absorb an entirely different culture, learn the local language and experience
a side of life that travellers passing though would never see!
VSO volunteers get paid the same salary from their employers overseas as their local colleagues, and VSO also provides air - fares and
accommodation. In addition to this volunteers can apply for three cash grants.
VSO accepts modern language, English and Arts graduates with a TEFL qualification, as well as Maths and Science graduates. They can
also offer advice on gaining a TEFL qualification so that you will return not only with two years of professional experience but also a
recognised qualification.
For more info there is a brochure available from the careers office at the University or why not speak to a returned volunteer by
phoning the hotline on 0845 603 0027( lines are open Monday-Friday, 6pm-9pm and charged at local rate). Phone the VSO enquiries
unit on 020 8780 7500 or visit the VSO website at www.vso.org.uk.
Teaching in China
Stuck for what to do when you
graduate? Want to travel?
Ever
considered teaching? Then why not join
the ever - increasing number of
graduates who have gone to China on 5
or 10 month teaching placements.
Council Exchanges launched the Teach
in China scheme three years ago and
now over 300 participants have taken up
the placements not simply to teach but
also to help to strengthen international
relations between Chinese and
Westerners.
With over 200 million Chinese people
studying English, the placements can be
all over China including the less well off
Western provinces and the Eastern
cities such as Beijing and Shanghai and
many participants find themselves both
teaching and learning in such unusual
settings as Police Academies and
hospitals!
Carrie Clarke, who has recently
returned from teaching at the United
Teachers College in Xi’an, says: ‘I have
found the Chinese to be very warmhearted, they are eager to learn about
me and about Western culture.’
The project is run by Council Exchanges
in co-operation with a branch of the
Chinese government called the State
Administration of Foreign Expert Affairs.
The next Teach in China programme is
taking part in February and the deadline
for applicants is November. Those
interested should contact Claire
Kinselley at Council Exchanges, 52
Poland Street, London WLV4JQ: Tel 020
7478 2009: fax 0207734 7322
Canadian Hiking Challenge
If staying on your own two feet is more
your style then fear not as a mountain
trek across the Chilcotin Mountains is
another of the challenges being set. This
90km hike will take you through the
tough terrain of the Rocky Mountains
which offers some of the most rugged
and remote parts of British Columbia.
For 11 days you could be enjoying the
spectacular scenery that Canada has to
offer from snowcapped - mountains to
alpine meadows and grizzly bears to
marmots!
Of course the biggest bonus to both
these challenges is the money you will be
raising for the Macmillan Cancer
Research charity. But this of course
means that you need to do the raising-to
the tune of £2,500- but money raised
goes towards the charity’s own
challenge: To help cancer sufferers and
their families.
The excursions are happening in July and
September so if you’re up to the
challenge then phone the challenge
hotline on 0845 604 3601 for more
details.
Running wild
The Footprint Handbook for East Africa
covers six countries in the region: the safari
lands of Kenya,Tanzania and Uganda, and the
countries of the Horn of Africa; Ethiopia,
Eritrea, and Djibouti (but not Somalia).There
is information on national parks and game
reserves, accomodation, travel, history,
beaches, as well a thirty page guide to the
wildlife of east and southern Africa which
includes animal location charts. At the front
there is also a short overview of East Africa
which covers landscapes, cultures,
Page 25
architecture, religious festivals and
cuisines of the region.
To get your hands on one of FIVE
FREE COPIES of the Handbook just
answer the following easy question....
What is the highest mountain in
Kenya?
Answers via email to tgb197@soton.
ac.uk
Tim Butler
The 5th November 2000 is the date for
the famous New York Marathon. The
Action Research Charity and it’s mascot,
Paddington Bear, are appealing for
runners to participate as part of the
Touching Lives Campaign.
An estimated 30,000 runners are
expected to face the challenge, this year,
in a course that will take them through
Brooklyn, across the 59th Bridge and
along 5th Avenue to finish in Central
Park.
The Action Research Charity are hoping
to raise over £1.5 million for vital
medical research that could help the
thousands of children and their families
who suffer from illness. Projects include
work to investigate the causes of
meningitis, sickle cell disease and
osteoporosis to name but a few.
Potential runners will need to commit to
raising a minimum £1,600 sponsorship
and there is a non-refundable
registration fee of £150. For an info pack
call the charities National Events Unit on
01403 327477
Fancy a Dirty weekend?
Then why not join the Waterway Recovery Group in their canal restoration working
holidays throughout the summer.
Canal Camps involve a wide variety of activities, from building bridges and restoring lock
gates to excavation and back protection. Volunteers need no previous experience simply
a willingness to get involved and a good sense of fun especially for the evenings when it’s
time off to visit local pubs and other attractions.
The seven to nine day courses cost just £35 - or £5 per day - to go towards the
accommodation and the three meals a day which are provided
So if your interested in working hard, playing hard and helping the environment then visit
the WRG website for the latest information on www.wrg.org.uk. Or for a free
information pack and details of all the projects this year then send off to WRG Head
Office a PO Box 114, Rickmansworth,WD3 1
Page 26
AU, What’s New?
An Interview With New President Chris Glover
It seemed exceedingly appropriate that
the setting for an interview with the
newly elected AU President, Chris
Glover, was a Wednesday afternoon in
the sun with a couple of pints in hand now that’s my kind of sport! The
election campaign would have us believe
that ‘all we need is G Love’, so I set out
to find out just what we need him and
the AU for, as well as all the important
stuff about Jesters of course.
The first thing that strikes you about
this man is that he is big! At six foot two
he will certainly have the advantage of
towering over most people, but as a first
team Basketball player he needs height
on his side. What Wessex Sport firstly
wanted to know was why on earth he
had decided to run for AU Presidency
and put up with the undoubted flak he
will receive:
“I first wanted to do it when I helped
someone in the Basketball team go for it in
the first year.When he’d run I thought, hang
on, maybe that’s something I could do in a
couple of years. I’ve always been into sport
and I wanted to do it as more than just a
hobby, so I thought I may as well just go for
it.”
When asked what he’d probably be
doing next year if he hadn’t been
elected, he says:
“I’d probably have been a dustbin collector
or something.”
Probably just as well he got in then!
How is he finding his new role in life?
“It’s been good. I’ve been to a couple of
meetings which I’ve found interesting,
but I haven’t really had that much
time with my dissertation and
coursework at the moment.
But I’ve got the Union AGM this
afternoon, so I’ll go along and
see what that’s like!”
He’s got big plans for Uni
sport in the 21st Century.
“I’d like to go for a slightly more
modern approach. I want to
incorporate the web more, as it
seems to be taking over the modern
world. I want to try and get a web
page up and running to make
people more aware
and hopefully more
interested in the AU.”
what people often don’t realise is that if
you go to other universities you may have
to pay a two hundred pound joining fee. I
think people just need to get used to it
and in and in a couple of years it
will be standard.”
As AU President he will
undoubtedly feel obliged
to spend a great deal of
time at Jesters. Does he
condemn or commend
the Wednesday evening
antics there?
It’s fair to say that
the introduction of
Sportscards has not been met with
universal approval. How does he see the
first year of their use as having gone?
“I commend. I absolutely love
it. I try to join in with it
as much as I can.
The basketball team
don’t take over half
of Clowns and pull
their pants down as
much as some
other clubs, but I
do my best to join in, as the hockey club
found out before Easter - Apparently!.”
All for the cause, of course.
“I think it’s been OK.There hasn’t been a
problem with the first years, but people
who are previous members of the
university see it as an expensive price to
pay for using facilities which they may well
have already paid for, like the gym. But
Is our new AU president a pint or a
Juicy Lucy man?
“I would have to say pint, because after
having a few too many Juicy Lucys in my
first year, my body has become a bit wary
of it”
Hobbit or Clowns?
“Definitely Clowns.There’s something about
the Hobbit that I’ve never really enjoyed. Its
maybe because the only time I ever go there
is after spending five hours in Clowns, and
you then realise you have no money and the
beer is twice as expensive.”
What would our new AU
Presdent be doing if he
hadn’t been elected?
“I’d have probably been
a dustbin collector or
something!”
Finally, what would he say to people who
have managed to avoid anything vaugely
sports related and headed for the bar
instead?
“Fair enough. Beer’s beer when it comes
down to it. But I say push yourself to get
down there.You get a lot out of playing sport
at university, not least in a social sense. Of
course some people just don’t enjoy sport,
but I think everyone should at least give it a
go. If nothing else it keeps you fit and its
something to put on your CV.”
Martin Ashplant
The AU President’s Column
I hope everyone’s had a good Easter
break and didn’t spend too much of it
working. There were certainly 150
students who put work aside for a long
weekend, as Wessex hit the Isle of Man.
You may see some pale looking sports
people around who can’t stop shaking,
they are the casualties of the Easter
sports festival, though sport had little to
do with it. Being the biggest university,
at the Isle of Man sports festival, we
were hard to miss, especially when we
started hollering those good old Wessex
songs. For five days we drank and did
little else, although everyone thoroughly
enjoyed themselves and have come back
with many beer stories; just remember
though, what goes on tour, stays on tour.
Page 27
successful with Southampton white
washing the whole competition. The
sailing club were less fortunate at their
student nationals in Portsmouth,
although I’m sure the Institute cheated
somewhere. The last event I attended
was the BUSA rowing nationals up in
Nottingham. The boat club were highly
successful winning 2 team bronzes and
an individual gold. I know I have very
little voice left after shouting constantly
at all three events.
I’ve been off all over the country
supporting our watersports clubs in
their pursuit of medals. The Windsurfing
Nationals in Southampton were highly
I had my debut for the ladies cricket club
a few weeks ago (yes they were that
desperate). I was all ready to relax at
home and fill in application forms for
new jobs, when I find myself travelling on
a coach up to Reading to play in a BUSA
match. Having never played
cricket in my life I didn’t have a clue
about what I should be doing, but after
having all the rules explained to me I was
raring to go. The next few hours was
spent lying in the sun (I was starting to
like this sport) and as we were great, and
Reading were shit, I didn’t even have to
bat. The fielding was just as good with
Reading being all out for 22. I’ve now
appointed myself as their good luck
mascot and will wait until they get
desperate again!
Good luck with all your exams, it’ll all be
over soon.
Scooby
It’s All Plain Sailing for Uni Windsurf Champs
Over the Easter holidays Southampton
Uní’s windsurfers have been very busy,
with two major race events the Atlantic
Fun Cup in France and the BUSA
Student Nationals hosted by ourselves
in Calshot.
The first event was the Atlantic Fun
Cup organised by Isitem University of
Nantes and held in La Tranche, France
on the 1st and 2nd of April 2000.
Unfortunately our old boys are not
quite up to the professional standard of
some of the French racers. However,
Southampton did achieve their best
result so far in the competition with the
team of Luke Wheeler and Seb Norris,
both third years, finishing 10th overall.
Our ladies team of Sarah Gebbett and
Crissie Shaw also did us proud finishing
29th overall as the first ladies team.
Ourselves and Cambridge Uni, the
only other English competitors, once
again did England proud in the
traditional food fight, crazy dancing and
generally high beer consumption. Our
achievement was acknowledged by the
French organisers who presented a cup
to Southampton and Cambridge jointly
for being the best English competitors
there.
Shortly after our arrival back in
England, it was time to start racing again.
The next competition was the BUSA
Student
National
Windsurf
Championships, hosted by Southampton
Uni and held at Calshot Activity Centre
from 7th to 9th April. Twenty-one
Universities, with a total of 167
competitors entered this event.
There was a wide range of talent in the
beginner fleet, as well as various levels of
windsurfing ability. From Southampton,
Katherine Hobbs showed particularly
good form with high
placings in most
races, and eventually finishing 4th in the
division. Hannah Jenner was our next
highest ranking at 16th, from the fleet of
50. There were some slightly less
successful competitors (unless they were
meant to be sailing backwards) but all of
division 3 seemed to enjoy themselves
and improve their windsurfing skills.
Saturday afternoon saw the beginners
division partake in a freestyle event which
involved
performing
impressive
manoeuvres on (and off) the boards, with
varying levels of nudity.
Division 1 and 2 racing, organised by
Dave Thompson - British coach, started
promptly after lunch. The course
consisted of two marks with an upwind
and downwind leg. Division 1 had to
complete two laps and division 2 one lap.
Those who managed to get to the start
line in time, had a highly competitive race,
with James Scoular, a first year from
Southampton storming into an early lead
in division 1.
Damage limitation was exercised on the
Saturday evening by putting all the
competitors and supporters onto a boat
and setting it adrift in the Solent. A
medley of different characters were seen
boarding the boats with cavemen from
Birmingham
Uni,
pirates
from
Nottingham,
superheros
from
Southampton and porn stars from
Cambridge. Many of these Uniís were
competing for the most coveted award of
the weekend; the drinking boat race. Ten
Universities entered teams of four and
controversy still lingers over whether
Cardiff actually beat the Southampton Uni
Old Boys or whether they cheated.
Racing started far too early on Sunday
for most competitors, and those that
managed to get to the start line for the
first race were lucky if they completed it
as the wind speed suddenly increased
from a force 3 to a force 5 or 6. This
enabled some of the better racers to
fight it out for the top spots whilst many
competitors struggled just to complete
the course at all. Good results kept
coming in from the Southampton team
of three; James Scoular, Seb Norris and
Oliver Booth who all consistently
finished within the top six.
The final results gave Southampton a
convincing win with 55 points in total,
compared to their nearest competitors,
Cambridge with 277 points and Cardiff
with 294 points. It has been three years
since we won this title as Southampton
Institute has beaten us by a small margin
in the last two years, so we are very
proud to regain the title.
The weekend was a great success,
mainly due to a lot of hard work by
those involved and thanks must go to
the organisers; BUSA, Laurie Barber
and his safety crew, Paul Slater and the
AU, Calshot Activity Centre and the
committee of SUWC. We also have to
thank our sponsors for the generous
prizes they provided for all three
divisions; Solent Sailboards, Fat Face,
Styx, Boardwise, Ultrasport, Addict
Clothing, Gun, RYA, Surf Centre,
Surfstore 2000, Animal, Dave Noble
Windsurfing and Skandia Life for the
presentation of the ëSkandia Cupsí.
Sarah Gebbett
Tae Kwon Do Hits Bristol - The Student nationals
This year’s turn out for the Tae Kwon Do
student nationals was fairly impressive at
about two thirds of our regular trainers,
though rumours viciously claimed that
this was far more for the social aspect
than the ideal of team morale. However
even those spectators suffering from
hangovers, sleep depravation and an
obvious problem with loud noises yelled
as loudly as the rest when our fighters
were up, and I’d like to thank everyone
for their enthusiasm.
This was all despite a number of bad
starts, and the continued failure of any
form of transport to turn up less than an
hour late. After the AU had shouted at
our ‘pre-booked’ coach company for
long enough, they dragged a poor, sleepdeprived driver from his bed/ local pub
and we were on the way. The trip was
generally spent devising wicked club
names for those unfortunate enough to
not be on the committee, playing stupid
card games and making the secretary
publicly sing ‘The Littlest Hobo’ theme
tune and ‘I’ve Got a Lovely Bunch of
Coconuts’ for losing so frequently.
Despite getting into town fairly late,
most arrived in time to have a couple of
pints in the local Witherspoons pub
before a hearty meal at the local pizza
place. Tim managed to secure his
kamikaze-like reputation in the
restaurant for informing a larger Tae
Kwon Do
club that we
were going
to kick their
arses in the
tournament.
He
still
h o w e v e r,
preferred
this to his
nickname.
After eating,
drinking and
adorning
ever yone’s
chest with their flashy, pink and only
mildly insulting new names, the clever
few got cabs home before midnight, and
the stupid many found somewhere else
to drink.
Sunday’s tournament was amazingly well
organised, and we were all
impressed at how smoothly the
competition ran considering the amount
of participants; 500 students from 50
universities. The nationals ran over two
weekends, the first was semi contact in
Warwick, and the second was full
contact
in
Bristol. Though
the boisterous
o v e r enthusiasm of a
nearby
club
i n f l i c t e d
numerous
unnecessary
migraines on
the
other
participants, all
8 of our fighters
gave
really
impressive
performances and sustained no major
injuries. A couple got through into the
following rounds, including Mike who
managed one of the most impressive
fights of the tournament. Although
drawing in the second round on points
and achieving a couple of spectacular
kicks, he only lost due to the referee’s
final decision. Darren must also be
congratulated for keeping his cool
throughout his fight, despite continually
bouncing off the chest of an opponent
who was described as ‘Arnie’s Latin
cousin’. Both of them seemed to spend
more time on the floor than on their feet
and in spite of a few kicks below the belt
and an injured thumb, both seemed to be
on good terms at the end of the fight.
Everyone’s patterns also went really well,
and it was great to see so many
performances from those in their first
tournament.
All in all, everyone seemed to enjoy
themselves, those that participated did
so enthusiastically and those that
spectated shouted loudly. I would like to
thank those involved for the smooth
running of the tournament,
the
committee for their grand organization,
and congratulate everyone that came
along for making the trip a successful
one.
Dave Willis
Page 28
Diary Of An Intra-Mural Team
the pace of Sheepish. BiSci always
looked dangerous on the break,
The present DTI squad wrapped up
their university intra-mural football
career with a decisive 4-2 victory over
arch-rivals BiSci in their final match. It
was a satisfying - as well as profitable
for some members of the team manner in which to close a chapter in
DTI’s history.
BiSci had the better of the opening
minutes, with Jamie Stewart in
particular looking threatening up front.
The pride at stake in this game was
evident as the
tackles flew
in from
both
sides.
BiSci
lost their
‘keeper
to
injury when he came out to challenge
DTI’s Ruminent on the break, shortly
after a similar clash with
DTI striker Sheepish. Substitute Lee
came on in defence, and promptly scored
the opening goal with a great strike from
the edge of the penalty box through a
chasm that suddenly appeared in the DTI
back line. DTI hit back shortly afterward,
however,
with
crowd
shouts
(apparently!) alerting Ruminent to magic
winger Mystic Ken in acres of space on
the right.The headed flick-on set Mystic
away, and he duly obliged, planting the
ball firmly in the back of the net to make
it 1-1.
DTI became an increasing force in the
game after that with BiSci pushing Izi
Otobo back into defence to counter
DTI dominated the play in the first ten
minutes after the break, before BiSci
took the lead against the run of play,
before taking advantage of some sloppy
defending to slot the ball past DTI
‘keeper Dan at the near post. DTI hit
back a few minutes later, however, with a
monumental lack of communication
between Izi and the BiSci ‘keeper.
Sheepish took full advantage, mopping
up and guiding the ball into an empty
net. A third goal followed shortly
afterwards, when Sheepish and
Ruminent combined in a slick move that
ended with
Ruminent
flicking the
ball into
the net
f r o m
twelve
yards
out.
slotted home DTI’s fourth. Despite
intense BiSci pressure for the
remainder of the game, with DTI
‘keeper Dan making one particularly
fine save, the game ended 4-2, sparking
jubilation amongst the players and
supporters of DTI Palace.Although it
hasn’t always been a bed of roses, all
the boys had a lot of fun over the two
years. Needless to say, there was much
beer consumed that evening, and, of
course, they drank through it in fine
style! Negotiations are at present
under way to keep the DTI name alive
via one of the team’s brothers, but the
mood was triumphant as the inaugural
DTI stars said farewell to the world of
intra-mural football.
Diminutive
DTI striker Ryan looked
to have put the result beyond doubt
some fifteen minutes from time when he
the Boat Race team who have all been
doing the Uni proud but couldn’t get a
mention, no matter how much room I
tried to make.
‘Extra Time’ has all but been squeezed
out this issue as there is just SOOO
much else in it. We’ve got a couple of
extra pages but with interviews with
Shane Warne, the newly elected AU
President Chris Glover, as well as all
the action from the BUSA finals (which
I might add, we’ve done rather well in) its
still not enough.
Apologies to the Ladies’ and Men’s
football teams, Athletes and members of
On the general sports front, by far the
biggest story has been the awful events in
Turkey when two Leeds fans lost their
lives. It has been argued and counterargued over and again in the media so I
won’t dwell on it. What I will say is that
the day people don’t come home to their
families from a sports match, purely
because of what team they support is an
extremely sad day for the whole sporting
world.
Page 29
It all seems to have gone pear-shaped for
the British teams in Europe. Man Utd
and Chelsea managed to prove the
hype wrong and lose in the Champions
League, and Leeds (unsurprisingly) had
other things on their mind when they
lost to Galatassary. But there is one team
flying the flag for Britain - yes it’s the
mighty Arsenal, who I am shortly off to
watch in the UEFA Cup Final in
Copenhagen.
The Rugby European Final will be
between Northampton and Munster
after two nail biting semi-finals which
saw the end of a brave Llanethli side.
Intra-Mural 5-a-side Football Final - The Clowns 5 Fat Boy’s Fags 4
A last gasp winner from Tom Casey
completed a remarkable comeback for
the Clowns in an intensely fought 5-aside final and left Fat Boy’s Fags nursing
their wounds and runners up medals.
The final had pitted two teams who had
already met in the group stage and
matched each other in every department
in a three-all draw. Both sides
had remained undefeated
throughout the competition,
dispensing with the opposition
in the knockout stages with
relative ease - so the stage
looked set for a fiercely
competitive encounter, and so it
turned out.
The game started with the
unusual sound of vocal support
from the balcony - they’d turned out
in their droves to watch (well there
was more than normal anyway) and
there were even a couple of
camcorders rolling. Both teams
responded to this by playing some
attractive football. But it was The Clowns
who took the lead with James Dibley
taking advantage of some free space to
slot away the opener. It seemed to be the
jolt that Fat Boys Fags needed and a
couple of minutes later Dan Hiles let fly
with a thunder bolt from the half-way
line, which surprised everyone, especially
himself, and nestled in the corner of the
net.The Fags seemed to take control
and goals from Steve Malduca and Martin
Ashplant, after some classy
team
play should have made the game safe.
Almost immediately after the third goal
however, the Fags seemed to fall asleep
allowing Dave Pierce to score from an
almost impossibly tight angle to bring the
Clowns back into the game. Just on the
stroke of half-time Steve Malduca seemed
to have settled the match when he took
advantage of a nightmarish defensive
error in the Clowns’ rearguard to
restore Fat Boys Fags two goal
cushion.
That was to prove the last goal of the
game for the Fags, and within a couple of
minutes of the restart the
Clowns were
back on level terms. Two half-time
substitutions had an unsettling effect on
the Fags’ game, especially as one of them,
Tony Simmons was obviously not in full
health (as he later proved by throwing up
in the changing room toilets!).This led to
the Clowns being able to take control,
which they did immediately when Barry
O’Leary scored almost straight from the
centre. A fourth followed shortly from
Tom Casey and suddenly the game was
tied at 4-4. By this time the Fags had
settled themselves again, and began to
look to restore their lead. Sam Cleary
went agonisingly close and other chances
went begging although Adrian Clarke
pulled off a number of point-blank saves
at the other end, at one point
endangering his future chances of
fatherhood for the cause. But just
as thoughts were turning to who
would take the penalties and what
excuses could be made for not
taking one; Tom Casey fired home
the killer blow for the Clowns. The
final
whistle
went
almost
instantaneously and Clowns had won
the cup.
The game was a fitting end to what
has been an immensely enjoyable and
successful tournament (even if certain
hall teams did not grace it with their
presence after entering 6 teams,
mentioning no names but they’re next to
a big ugly tower on Wessex Lane).Thanks
go out to the tournament organisers, and
here’s to the 6-a-side in the summer.
Martin Ashplant
GIRLS ON TOP! Ladies Sailing Club Reign Supreme
EDITOR’S EXTRA TIME
Well, believe it or not, this is the last
issue before most of us disappear off for
a third of a year holiday. It’s a hard life
being a student!
Clowns Get the Last Laugh
Cricket is back with us again - it must
be summer! - but Shane Warne’s
presence at Hampshire seems unable to
inspire his team, who have started the
season abysmally, with a mauling at the
hands of Middlesex the lowest point.
As we head for the break (don’t
mention exams) all that is left to say is
have a great summer, don’t work too
hard, and for those that are coming back
- see you next year.
Oh yes. One last thing:
For fifty thousand quid, he scores for
Real Madrid. Roy Keane-ooo!
Martin
This Easter holiday, four teams from
Wessex Sailing Club made the long
trek up the M1 to Leeds, to compete in
the BUSA Team Racing National Finals.
As members of the ladies team this is
our account of the three days of
mayhem that followed.
Despite the long trip up to the
North on Monday (it is grim up there!)
we had to get up at the crack of dawn
on Tuesday only to be met with drizzle
and a distinct lack of wind at West
Ridings Sailing Club. When the wind
did kick in, Southampton ladies hit the
water and kicked some Oxford butt,
followed by the finest Scotland had to
offer in the form of Glasgow and
Strathclyde, before finishing the day
with victory over Newcastle.
Southampton men’s teams were also
progressing well, with the first team
remaining undefeated and the seconds
close on their heels.
Sailing did not finish until 7:30pm,
therefore the night’s aim was to get as
much alcohol into the bloodstream in
the shortest possible time. However,
having finally got into Leeds city centre,
most of the team played their ‘weaner
cards’ and could be found mellowing out
at the local Italian restaurant, suffering
from garlic poisoning. Thus (purely to
keep up appearances): Libby and Ali, the
trusty captain and her sidekick, showed
them how it was done, and could be
seen promoting inter-team relations at
the Leeds equivalent to Jesters. Laughs
were provided by Southampton Men’s
second team trying (and failing) to work
their mojo on the northern lasses.
The next day, there was a definite
surplus of wind, with capsize action
mixed in with lots of boats trashing. Our
race with Cambridge Uni came to a
premature end when the Cambridge
captain decided to have some one-onone action with our captain, and ‘Tboned’ their boat - this ended up in the
protest room, and with another
Southampton win. Undefeated and
winning their league, all that was left to
do was boogie on down at the BUSA
ball, whilst trying to forget the next day’s
semi-final clash with our newly found
enemies, Cambridge Uni.
The Fresher’s team were on fire at the
ball, with the other Southampton teams
taking it easy due to their commitments
the next day. However, some of the
Fresher’s team were on fire literally, with
bizarre happenings involving candle wax
and flower arrangements. Our trusted
commodore, Colin, also made like a
candle that night: getting his wick away
with one of the Bristol ladies: forever an
ambassador for the University and Sailing
Club!
To cut a long story, Southampton
Ladies beat Cambridge Ladies, and
went on to beat Oxford Ladies in the
final, with some of the closest racing of
the competition. This victory marked
the break of a five year drought of
Southampton Ladies reaching the final,
yet not claiming the prize.
Acknowledgements go out to:
Andark Ltd and Aladdin’s Cave - our
trusty sponsors, the Southampton
Men’s second and Fresher’s teams for
training with us, sorting us out and
generally putting up with buckets of
abuse. Leeds Uni for giving us nice
prizes, and the team for showing who
wears the trousers now!
Southampton Birds Team 2000
Holly, Nancy, Jo, Libby, Becs and Ali
Page 30
Swarm of Bikers Invade
Unsuspecting Isle of Wight
Did they really know what they had let
themselves in for? When the quiet
tourist resort of Needles Park, Isle of
Wight agreed to stage this year’s
BUSA/Halifax
Mountain
Biking
Championships one wonders quite
what they were thinking. For a start
when upwards of 800 biker students
arrived en-masse the day before the
event, they were greeted with little
more than a mud-heap for a course,
which, fair to say, didn’t impress them
much. This along with the bewildered
expressions from elderly tourists faced
with a sea of tents in what is usually a
quiet field, and cars meeting bikes
riding ten-a-breast on narrow country
roads, made for a very ‘interesting’
event.
But after a few ‘minor alterations’ to
the course, and a few more pints, the
riders were ready to go in the downhill
event - although Southampton rider
Bubba Ling had to be roused from bed
five minutes before he was due to
qualify. In all seven riders were
competing from Southampton in a field
of more than 180. Qualifying went well
with everyone getting a feel for the
course - which more literally meant,
realizing that for health reasons it was
more beneficial to take the chicken run
around the first jump! Duncan Elliot and
Colin Maud led the way for
Southampton qualifying in 6th and 15th
respectively.
Then came the real thing - the finals. It
did not start off well when Ian Johnson’s
brakes ‘popped out’ minutes before he
started his run and it didn’t get much
better from then on. Duncan lost places
and ended up in 17th (still an impressive
result) and Colin got a puncture halfway
down his run but still somehow managed
to drag his bike over in 37th. The most
impressive result for Southampton was
Ian, who
obviously benefited from the
last minute repair work, managing to
move up 31 places from qualifying to
finish in 22nd. The rest of the team all
had solid runs with Bubba Ling in 97th,
Stuart Risby 106th, Daniel Baker in 149th
and Antony Harriss in 187th.
WARNE CONTINUED...
something to prove at Test level. An
impressive line-up and a list that does
not even include the specialist one-day
players Darren Lehmann (Yorks) and
Michael Bevan (Sussex) who, while being
mainstays in the limited overs side, still
struggle in the extended version. So is
County Cricket simply developing into
an academy to help Australia find their
next superstar? Shane Warne recognises
what the importance of playing County
cricket is for a potential Test star.
“In all fairness to County
Cricket, I think what they do at home in
Shield cricket will hold them in stead for
higher international honours. But the
English game is a good stepping-stone for
them for the upcoming season, giving
them every chance to be in form at the
start of the season and put their names
up for selection.“
Players like Langer arrived from
Middlesex playing really, really well and
that got him his opportunity in Test
Page 31
cricket. He has taken it with both hands,
which is exactly what you’ve got to do
when the chance comes round.”
But Hampshire have landed a real gem, a
cricketing coup if ever there was one.
Worcestershire did well with McGrath,
Notts too by landing Akhtar, but everyone
wanted Warney. He is, after all, officially
the fourth greatest cricketer of the last
century.
“Obviously, I had no idea the
Wisden survey was going on, but when I
found out I was very proud to be
selected. It is a huge honour to be in such
company.” This was no platitude to the
Wisden writers or the panel. The pride
and honour was sketched on Warne’s
tanned, jolly face whenever the subject
arose - and no wonder. He was beaten
only by three, all of them Sirs and genuine
heroes of the game; Bradman, Sobers and
Hobbs and he squeezed another Knight,
the flamboyant West Indian, Viv Richards,
into fifth.An unparalleled achievement for
Taken from the free book accompanying the current
Wisden Almanack (£29.99)
the maverick leggie.
Despite the arrival of the new
heroes, all is not well in the Hawks’
nest. After drawing Glamorgan in
the
Quarter
Final
of
the
The following day saw the
cross-country event and a much more
successful day at the races for
Southampton. It started off in great
style as the Southampton team was
victorious in the relay in the morning,
which showed just how strong a team
they had. This was proved in the
individual event where Tim Dunford
raced to a brilliant fifth position, only 4
seconds of the winner.William Lowes
and Andrew Haynes offered sterling
support finishing in 21st and 30th
respectively. Thus all members of the
team were in the top thirty out of 147;
a truly impressive result.
All in all, apart from the rain, the
course, and the odd puncture, the
event was a good one for
Southampton’s
riders. Having said
that I’m still not sure they’ll be invited
back to little Needles Park next year!
Martin Ashplant
ridiculously scheduled B&H Cup
(mainly due to the games they
didn’t have to play) Hampshire
proceeded to suffer three batting
collapses in a week (Wawricks,
Somerset
and
Middx)
that
culminated in a fourth, and the
worst (69 all out) in the dismal
defeat in Cardiff.
The results may not be
good, the fans are grumbling, the
players may be earnestly promising
to perk ther game up (as long as
the weather does the same with it’s
ideas). But if you are the Hampshire
marketing man, then life is sweet.
And it all revolves around Shane
Warne, number 8 and the new
Sunday League shirt!
It’s not too often that a true
superstar graces your doorstep, all
that the Hampshire fans await now
is for Warney to fire in that flipper
and awaken us all from a dozy
winter.
ALEX LOWE
HARD-CORE WARNE
“It’s all in the wrist, mate!”
Hampshire heroes Shane Warne and Alan Mullally assess the
season ahead with Wessex Scene’s own CM-J, Alex Lowe
As the winter rains deluged, the
frost nibbled at the extremities and
the football season provided, yet
again, little sporting solace,
Hampshire supporters simply had
to sit and wait. Like for Ratty and
his Willows pals, the log-fire
crackled, the pipe was earnestly
puffed on, the port flowed
generously and with the kettle
steaming, the whole of Hampshire
hibernated till Spring. Because, as
April floated over the County
Ground, bringing the misery of her
eponymous showers, Hampshire’s
two lucrative new signings were sat
huddled in the dressing room. For
the inaugural bi-league County
Championship season, Hampshire
had tested the malleability of the
bank and signed England leftarmer Alan Mullally and the ‘fourth
best cricketer of the twentieth
century’, the re-inventor of leg
spin, Mr Shane Warne.
What was it then that tempted the two
stars to join the Hawks? The club
qualified for the First Division with a top
half finish in 1999 without any star
names (bar perhaps Robin Smith). The
prospects at the club, with players like
Derek Kenway, Dmitri Mascerenas and
Alex Morris, wetted Mullally’s appetite.
“I had the chance to turn a club
with potential into a trophy winning side.
I did it with Leicestershire for 10 years
and we won a couple of big trophies.
Now I want to do it with Hampshire, it’s
a new challenge.”
For Warne, the choice was
more specific. “I spoke to a few clubs
during the World Cup and I talked to
Robin Smith at length about the team
spirit and what he’s got going down here
at the club, with everyone together.They
had an exciting season last year and that
struck a chord with me and I’m very
grateful to Hampshire for giving me the
chance to play County Cricket.”
Warne has joined a County circuit that
has been in a state of upheaval for the
last two seasons. The most traditional of
games has witnessed development of a
two-tiered system in both Championship
Cricket and the Sunday League and the
continual adjustment in the cup
competitions with introduction of the
B&H Super Cup. How does he feel about
it? Is there too much county cricket?
“I haven’t played a year of
county cricket before but it certainly
looks that way on paper. I’ll have to wait
until the end of the season to find out
how gruelling it is, but it will be a
successful one for Hampshire. I’d already
said yes to Hampshire before we knew if
they were in the First or Second
Division. I think it’s great being in the
First Division and all we need to do now
is get to the top of it.”
The debate rages about the
state of the domestic game and an
argument rarely passes without mention
of the overseas player, particularly the
cases of Jamie Cox at Somerset, Justin
Langer at Middlesex and Matthew
Hayden at Northants, as County
captains.
each county and who you’ve got
“If you sign a good overseas
available, whether you’ve got Test players
player then I think it’s a good thing. If you
playing at your club. There are a lot of
sign one just for the sake of it then you
things that come into it. Jamie Cox is
are keeping a young English lad out of the
doing a pretty good job down there and
side and that doesn’t help anyone,” is
if it’s good for the club then I don’t see
Mullally’s standpoint.“Jamie Cox may not
any reason why the overseas player
be a regular international, but he is still a
shouldn’t be the captain.”
very good player. He’s not the type that
The English game also faces the
comes over here and scores 700 runs, he
problem of turning into a breeding
comes over and gets 1500. Our players
ground for overseas international
will learn a lot from the way he played
fringe players looking to gain
here against us.”
The
experience of foreign
And on the subject of
conditions, time at
overseas captains?
English game
wicket and the
“At the end
faces the problem of the
opportunity to
of the day, he has
turned Somerset
turning into a breeding carve out some
form and press
round from what
ground for overseas,
their claims for
was a very poor
international
side to what is now
international fringe
honours.This surely
a half decent club. He
players
has the potential to
can’t have done that
damage the quality of
bad a job.” And he is not
English Test cricket.This season
wrong. In Cox’s first season in
alone the County Championship is
England, as Somerset skipper, he scored
playing host to Michael DiVenuto
1478 at an average of 54.74. Somerset
(Derby), Stuart Law (Essex), Matthew
finished the season fourth in the
Hayden (Northants), Ian Harvey (Gloucs)
Championship and second in the Sunday
and Matthew Elliot (Glamorgan), all with
League. Cox, however, does not get an
international look-in.
Warne added, “It depends on
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