#101R, 2002 Luxstone Blvd. Airdrie, AB MAYBE YOU DON`T KNOW
Transcription
#101R, 2002 Luxstone Blvd. Airdrie, AB MAYBE YOU DON`T KNOW
MAYBE YOU DON'T KNOW... A politician is in a restaurant and the waiter brings over the rolls, but no butter. "May I have some butter, please?" The waiter gives a slight nod and wanders off. Ten minutes later, still no butter. The politician catches the waiter's eye, "May I have some butter, please?" Still the vaguest of responses, and after ten more minutes, still no butter. "Maybe you don't know who I am," says the politician. "I'm a Princeton graduate, a Rhodes scholar, an All-American basketball player who played with the New York Knicks in the pros, and I'm currently a United States Senator, chairman of the International Debt Subcommittee of the Senate Finance Committee, chairman of the Water and Power Subcommittee of the Senate Energy and Natural Resources Committee, and a member of the Senate Select Intelligence Committee." "Maybe you don't know who I am," said the waiter. "I'm the guy who's in charge of the butter." OBNOXIOUS GUEST At a dinner party, one of the guests, an obnoxiously loud young man, tried to make clever remarks about everyone and everything. He was served a piece of meat, and as he picked it up with his fork, he held it up and smirked, "Is this pig?" Another guest, sitting opposite, asked quietly, "To which end of the fork are you referring?" Bay #6, 99 East Lake Cres., Airdrie Page 13 .ca atertot .c w w w 00 912-2Lu7xstone Blvd. 2002 ie, AB , R 1 0 1 # Airdr st side 7-11) (next t o we Family Friendly Neighbourhood Drugstore Come visit our NEW Toy & Giftware Sections! A Wise Man can see more from the bottom of a well than a Fool can see from the top of a mountain. #2, 117 Main Street, Airdrie, AB (403) 615-1890 (403) 945-1778 Fax (403) 945-9365 TIPS FOR ENTERTAINING 1. When one hosts a dinner party, it is essential that all the place mats match, or, at the very least, that they all come from the same fast-food restaurant. 2. Entertaining in your backyard? The key to a nice-looking lawn Repairs To Most Makes and Models is a good mower. I recommend one who's muscular and shirtless. Snow Equipment 3. My favorite party game is "Pin the Cleanup on the Guests." PO Box 5385 RITCHIE Airdrie, AB T4B 2T9 4. Nothing in the world is quite so entertaining as pouring old milk into new containers before having guests over. 5. A good host must always be a STICKLER for attractive food “The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote presentation! I always take the foil COMPLETELY off the TV yourself to your community around you, and dinner before serving. devote yourself to creating something that 6. Getting your home in tiptop shape for a party can be fun if you think of it as kicking dust bunny butt! gives you purpose and meaning.” ~Mitch Albom~ 7. Take short cuts! I used to offer my guests instant coffee. They kept whining for hot water to go with it. 8. The best way to prepare a roast is to make an aluminum foil tent over your roasting pan. Similarly, the best way to prepare for relatives is to pitch a tent in the backyard and stay there until they leave. 9. When decorating for a party, be creative with regular household items. Some people might just see a moldy shower curtain with torn eyelets. What do I see? A new tablecloth. 10. The better you cook, the more likely your guests will return. Which is why I'm not usually too hot in the kitchen. HOLIDAY HOURS: Open Jan.1st at 4pm Regular Hours commence Jan. 2nd: Mon.-Thurs 11am-1am, Fri. & Sat. 11am-2am, Sun. 4pm-12am midnight Page 14 NEW YEAR'S RECIPE Take twelve, fine, full-grown months, see that these are thoroughly free from all old memories of bitterness, rancor, hate and jealousy; cleanse them completely from every clinging spite: pick off all specks of pettiness and littleness; in short , see that these months are freed from all the past; have them as fresh and clean as when they first came from the great storehouse of Time. Cut these months into thirty or thirty-one equal parts. This batch will keep for just one year. Do not attempt to make up the whole batch at one time (so many persons spoil the entire lot in this way), but prepare one day at a time, as follows: Into each day put twelve parts of faith, eleven of patience, ten of courage, nine of of work (some people omit this ingredient and so spoil the flavor of the rest), eight of hope, seven of fidelity, six of liberality, five of kindness, four of rest (leaving this out is like leaving the oil out of the salad, don't do it), three of prayer, two of meditation, and one well selected resolution. If you have no conscientious scruples, put in about a teaspoonful of good spirits, a dash of fun, a pinch of folly, a sprinkling of play, and a heaping cupful of good humor. Pour into the whole love ad libitum and mix with a vim. Cook thoroughly in a fervent heat; garnish with a few smiles and a sprig of joy; then serve with quietness, unselfishness, and cheerfulness, and a Happy New Year is certain. DOES YOUR EQUIPMENT STINK? 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