RAGEOUS! - ION Arizona

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5
“Spring is here!
Life is skittles and
Life is beer!”
Everything’s comin’ up roses, Party Penguins!
WInter’s over and Spring has sprung!
Hey! Would you like to see how a real,
genuine, Hollywood photo shoot happens at
ION Magazine? Then take a look at YouTube.
com and see how our December shoot went
with Jacob & Joshua Miller, the talented
twins of Nemesis Rising! Joshua filmed it
and posted it -- you can look it up using
“Nemesis” and “ION” for key words. That’s
how we make the magic happen, folks! Of
course, we couldn’t do it without you, too!
St. Paddy’s Day is here! That means green
beer and lots of pinching. Your favorite bars are bound
to have specials for our leprechaun friends. Just
remember to drink responsibly. We’d like to keep you
around for a while.
Next month we’ll feature a photospread
with the sexy bartenders who entered
the “Sexiest Bartender Contest” we
sponsored at Apollo’s Lounge last
month. Each one was so hot and helped
contribute to Global Warming. I’d love to
take ‘em all up to the North Pole! Special
thanks to Blue Moon Resort in Las Vegas
who kindly furnished accommodations to
winner Steven Griswold who won the trip
to The Nightclub & Bar Convention and Trade
Show.
And give it up to Mother Judie - the
Sexiest Female Bartender from Cruisin’
7th! She’s our Party Penguin of the
Month! Her charm, wit and style make
her tops in my book! Yay!
‘Til next time, be safe!
Love,
ION, the Party Penguin
8
9
ION ARIZONA CENTER
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www.IONAZ.com
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PHOTOGRAPHERS:
Richard Bolinski
Mike Chesworth
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Don Thompson
NATIONAL ADVERTISING REPRESENTATIVE
Rivendell Media (212) 242-6863
CONTRIBUTORS:
Dave Jackson
Kevin Bushaw
Ted Kirby
Wes Bergman
David Alan Maxey
Corey Blanchette
Kim Ruff
Addison DeWitt
Dave Salcido
Helena Grayson
Paul Sanchez
Gary Guerin
TO GROW YOUR BUSINESS,
CALL (602) 308-4662.
Published monthly by
© 2008 Tesorero Omni Media
a JMT Designs, Inc. company
PUBLISHER
Jack M. Tesorero .............................. [email protected]
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
PRINTED IN THE USA
All original artwork and photography for ION Arizona Magazine
remain property of JMT Designs, Inc, and cannot be reproduced,
altered, or sold without authorization and compensation. Limited
usage rights can be purchased for a small fee.
NOTE: The views expressed in these articles do not necessarily
reflect the views of ION Arizona, its staff, or that of its parent
company.
Publication of the name or photograph of any person or organization within ION Arizona is not to be construed as any indication
of the sexual orientation of such persons or organization. To
our knowledge, all people photographed and published in ION
Arizona are over the age of 18. Some photos were submitted
by our readers. To our knowledge, they own the copyrights, and
they have given us permission to reproduce them. If you see
a picture that you own, please call us immediately and we will
remove it from future publications. All copy, text, display, photos,
and illustrations in the ads are published with the understanding
that the advertisers are fully authorized, have secured proper
written consent for the use of names, pictures, and testimonials
of any living person, and that ION Arizona is not responsible for
unlawful use of such content.
10
ION SUPER BOWL BASH
12
For more pictures, go to www.IONAZ.com
Arizona Antique Show
Rooftop Happy Hour at the Clarendon
Experience our spectacular sunsets the phenomenal views of
Phoenix from high atop the Clarendon Hotel every Wednesday
through Sunday from 4 - 9 p.m. They’ve got drink specials,
free appetizers and hot, jazzy, lounge tunes. We’ll see you
there at 401 W. Clarendon Ave. or visit goclarendon.com
Looking for a credenza? An armoire? Frankoma pottery?
A collection of old salt and pepper shakers? You’ll find ‘em
here at the Arizona State Fairgrounds along with a bunch
of old crap on March 15-16. Free admission, parking is $5.
Go to www.azantiqueshow.com for more info
Dancing with the Bars
Come see your favorite bartenders trip the light fantastic!
Discover who’s light on their feet and who has two left feet
when they do the Paso Doble, Tango and Merengue for this
competition sponsored by SWAY Events on March 30 at
Forbidden nightclub in fancy Scottsdale at 6820 E. 5th Ave. or
visit www.swayevents.com. VIP packages available. Cha Cha Cha!
Pumphouse Idol
Come in to Pumphouse II and find out who’s got the lungs to
be the Pumphouse Idol. It all kicks off on Friday, March 7 at 10
p.m., so start practicing, songbirds! Don’t forget they’ve also
got strippers every Saturday night and the 2nd, 3rd, and 4th
Thursday of every month! See you there, at 4132 E. McDowell
Rd. Phone: 602-275-3509
Art Detour 2008
Hey, culture vultures! Come downtown for the largest, most wellattended art event in the country as local artists and galleries open
up their studios to the public for the 20th anniversary of the Art
Detour! See some great and not-so-great artwork Phoenix artists
are creating March 8 & 9. Hurry before the City gobbles up all the
land and turns into a sports arena or something stupid.
Hot Nude Yoga
Hey, dudes! What can be hotter than the Lotus Position especially when you’re in a hot room with a bunch of other
sweaty, naked guys? Experience Aaron Starr’s famous hot,
nude yoga workshop March 7-9 coming to Phoenix. Find
out more at hotnudeyoga.com or write info@dennyrichard.
com or call the Zen Yard at 602-680-7631
7th Annual Melrose on 7th Ave. Street Fair
“Meet me at the fair!” The success story of the up-&-coming
Melrose neighborhood is hosting a street fair with Art,
entertainment, car show and food, glorious food! I bet the
district’s handsome councilman Tom Simplot will be there, too.
It all happens on Saturday, March 15 on 7th Avenue, north of
Indian School Road. For more info call 602-264-4444 or visit
melroseon7thavenue.com
14
ION SPECIAL EVENTS CALENDAR
DATE
EVENT
LOCATION
CITY
thru 3/13
Exotic Art Show
Alwun House
Phoenix
3/6-9
Arts and Flowers
Phx. Art Museum
Phoenix
3/7-9
Ostrich Festival
Tumbleweed Park
Chandler
3/7-9
Scottsdale Arts Festival
Civic Center Mall
Scottsdale
3/8-9
Flower Power Festival
Desert Botanical Garden
Phoenix
3/8-9
Feng Shui Festival
Chinese Cultural Center
Phoenix
3/8-9
Great Arizona Beer Festival
Tempe Town Lake
Tempe
3/8-9
Art Detour
Arts District and Beyond
Phoenix
3/14-16
Men’s Luxury Toy Expo & Auction University of Phx. Stadium
Glendale
3/15
Melrose on 7th Street Fair
Melrose District (7th Ave.)
Phoenix
3/15-16
AZ Aloha Festival
Heritage Square
Phoenix
3/15
St. Patrick’s Day Parade
Hance Park
Phoenix
3/5-16
AZ Antique Show
AZ State Fairgrounds
Phoenix
3/21-22
Easter Egg-citement
Schnepf Farms
Queen Creek
3/22
Kite Flying Festival
Freestone Park
Gilbert
2/28-29
Tempe Music Festival
Tempe Beach Park
Tempe
3/28-30
Tempe Spring Festival of the Arts Mill Avenue District
Tempe
3/29-30
Arizona Dragon Boat Festival
Tempe Town Lake
Tempe
thru 3/30
Arizona Rennaissance Festival
Off US 60
Gilbert
15
Floggy Molly
“Swing a little more on the Devil’s dancefloor!” Catch the
quintessential Irish Punk band Flogging Molly this St. Patrick’s
Day, Monday March 17th at Tempe Town Lake, or the day beforeSunday March 16th at the Marquee Theatre for an all ages show.
Either way, get your tickets at luckymanonline.com
Matchbox 20
Rob Thomas is back with his band Matchbox 20. (He’s
been on a successful solo tour or some time) Only now
they’re more like Matchbox 40-- years old, that is. See the
reunited rockers perform their hit Push from the platinum
“Yourelf or Someone Like You” and their follow-up “Mad
Season...” at the Cricket Wireless Pavilion on March 17th.
MARCH 2008 ION CONCERT CALENDAR
DATE
EVENT/ARTIST
LOCATION
5, 6
Handel’s Messiah
ASU Herberger College of the Arts
7, 8
Spirit of Phoenix Chorus
Orpheum Theatre
7, 8
The Magic Flute
Phoenix Symphony Hall
8
Craig Chaquico
Celebrity Theatre
9
John Tesh
Chandler Ctr. for the Arts
12
Silverstein
Marquee Theatre
14
Queztal Guerrero
ASU Kerr Cultural Center
14
Temptations w/ Four Tops
Celebrity Theatre
15
Roger Clyne & the Peacemakers
Celebrity Theatre
16,17
Flogging Molly
Marquee Theatre
17
Matchbox 20
Cricket Wireless Pavilion
22
Atomic Punks
Marquee Theatre
27
Angie Stone & Avnett Brothers
Rhythm Room
28
Englebert Humperdinck
Maricopa Cty. Event Ctr.
28,29
Tempe Music Festival
Tempe Beach Park
28, 29 ExtrABBAganza
20
Phx. Center for the Arts Theatre
29
Anoushka Shankar
Mesa Arts Center
30
Stars of Motion Pictures & Television
Maricopa Cty. Events Ctr.
31
Rick Springfield
Casino Arizona
21
Written by Dave Jackson
[email protected]
Yo, DJ! What’s New?
Randy Jackson – Music Club
In addition to these selections, look for new
stuff from Dido, Goldfrapp, The Black
Crows, Cascada, Three Doors Down,
Groove Armada, Leona Lewis, Panic @
the Disco and Donna Lewis to hit shelves
this month!
Finally, after seven
seasons, someone
gets a clue! With
American Idol’s ever
growing popularity,
it’s a wonder why
something like this
hasn’t surfaced
until now. From Jackson’s new label
Dream Merchant 21 comes this guest star
infused solo album. First single “Dance
Like There’s No Tomorrow” features Paula
Abdul, while “I Understand” gets backing
vocals from Mariah Carey. In addition look
for additional help from Jason Mraz, Joss
Stone, Angie Stone and previous Idol
contestants Yamin and McPhee.
Janet Jackson – Discipline
Get a new label,
get a fresh start.
This should be
the motto of
Janet’s tenth
studio album,
Discipline. No one
wants to call this
a “comeback,”
but after a listen, you’ll agree it’s her best
work in over a decade. Filled with mostly
up-beat dancy tracks such as “Tonight”
and a few downtempo themes as heard on
“The Greatest Ex,” this album is one her
fans have been waiting for. Other tracks
of note include “Rock With You,” “Luv,” the
tentative second single and of course lead
single “Feedback.” All I can say is, girrrrl….
welcome home!
Adele – 19
Last month we
covered British
sensation Amy
MacDonald (and if
you haven’t gotten
that album yet
– tsk tsk!) and just
like that, a new
UK star emerges.
Touted as the new Amy Winehouse, this
singer songwriter is sure to capture your
ears. It’s pop, blues, jazz and folk all rolled
up into music that soothes and warms
the heart. “Chasing Pavements” is soulful
while “Hometown Glory” is a stripped down
love song that is sure to give you chills.
And then there’s Dylan’s cover of “Make
you Feel my Love” - simply divine! This is
another must have.
B52’s – Funplex
Those of you old
enough to remember
“Rock Lobster”
and “Love Shack”
will be shocked to
see a new album
with all four original
members - their first
in 16 years. Full
of 80’s throwbacks, sassy hooks and the
unmistakably kitchy vocals of Fred make
this album just plain fun. Lead single and
title track “Funplex” is very “Scissor Sisteresque” while “Juliet of the Spirit” and the
anthemic “Hot Corner” add solid support.
In a nutshell, it’s loud, sexy rock ‘n’ roll with
crazy undertones that we’ve always come
to expect from the greatest party band ever.
And in other music news, fans hoping for
new Whitney in April will be saddened to
know her project has once again been
pushed back. However, Mariah and
Madonna are still on track for a dual in
April; Mariah the first week and Madonna
the last week. Oh how excited I am for
both! As always, stay tuned for the latest
updates.
23
Pulp!
What’s better than comedy, music and lesbians? This rollicking
musical romp a winning combination to us! Pulp! is a sexy homage
to 1950s lesbian pulp fiction, fueled by heat, hormones, and whiskey.
It’s at the Stray Cat Theatre at 1700 N. McDowell from March 28April 19. Go to www.straycattheatre.org or call 480-820-8022
Gilligan’s Island: The Musical
Those seven crazy castaways are still marooned nearly 40 years
later. Since then they’ve learned to sing and dance about their
plight on that fabled desert isle. Maybe you’ll even find out why
they packed so much for a three hour tour. The Scottsdale Desert
Stages Theatre is at 4720 N. Scottsdale Rd. 480-483-1664
MARCH 2008 ION THEATRE & STANDUP CALENDAR
DATE
26
EVENT/ARTIST
LOCATION
PHONE
March 6-22 Merry Wives of Windsor
Mesa Arts Center
480-644-6500
3/07 & 08
The Magic Flute
Phoenix Symphony Hall
602-266-7464
3/07-20
Jekyll and Hyde
Arizona Broadway Theatre
623-776-8400
3/07-23
9 Parts of Desire
Herberger Theatre Ctr.
602-253-6701
3/08
Latin Kings of Comedy
Dodge Theatr
3/11-16
Cirque Dreams Jungle Fantasy Orpheum Theatre
480-784-4444
3/11-23
The Color Purple
Gammage Auditorium
480-965-3434
3/13-30
East Texas Hot Links
Black Theatre Troupe
602-258-8128
LiveNation.com
3/15-31
The Homecoming
Herberger Theatre Ctr.
602-347-1071
thru 3/16
The Full Monty
Phoenix Theatre
602-254-2151
3/19
Garrison Keiller
Dodge Theatre
LiveNation.com
3/19-22
Shots: A Love Story
Mesa Arts Center Theatres
480-644-6500
3/20-4/16
The Perfect Wedding
Desert Foothills Theatre
480-488-1981
3/21 & 22
Chicago
Maricopa County Event Center 480-784-4444
3/21 & 22
Darren Carter
The Comedy Spot
480-945-4422
3-21-5/22
Tom, Dick & Harry
Copperstate Dinner Theatre
602-279-3129
3/22
Dan Bakkedahl
Scottsdale Ctr. for the Arts
480-994-2787
3/28-4/19
Pulp! a play with music
Stray Cat Theatre
480-820-8022
thru 3/29
Gilligan’s Island: Musical
Scotts. Desert Stages
480-483-1664
thru 3/30
Murder in Paradise
B’way Palm Dinner Theatre
480-325-6700
thru 3/30
Menopause: The Musical
Theatre 4301
480-994-2787
27
by Kimberly M. Ruff
presentable, young men. Many critics
consider it to be a critique on our
cyclical culture of violence – violent art
pepertuates violent reality which in turn
inspires violent art. (Side question: why
does Michael Pitt always seem to play
a lunatic? If we were in Ancient Greece,
he would be an Adonis with those pouty
lips and his cherubic face, but nowadays,
all he gets to play are baby-faced killers.
Huh.) Release Date: 03/14/08.
10,000 BC
Starring: Steven Strait, Camilla Belle
Thousands of
years before the
Rennaisance,
Enlightenment,
Scientific,
Industrial and
Information
Revolutions;
before Napoleon, Ghengis Khan, Attila
the Hun, Kaiser Wilhelm, Hitler, Pol
Pot, Idi Amin, Milosevic, and Saddam
Hussein; before Ghandi, Martin Luther
King, Jr, Siddhartha Gautama, Jesus
Christ, Abraham, and Muhammad; before
rebellions, revolutions, civil, world, and
cold wars; before overcrowding, pollution,
economic collapse, global warming and
the sub-par film that hypothesized what
it might result in, it was 10,000 BC, a
kinder, gentler time where the biggest
concern was not being blown to bits in
a nuclear holocaust, but rather being
smooshed into a solid human pancake
by a stampeding mammoth. And now,
thousands of years later, the director of
that sub-par global warming film, Roland
Emmerich (The Day After Tomorrow),
brings us a taste of what it was all like
before man mucked it up in the cleverly
titled 10,000 BC. See actors in loin
cloths and CGI beasts of days-gone-by!
Release Date: 03/07/08.
Stop-Loss
Starring: Ryan Phillippe, Channing
Tatum, Abbie Cornish
An M-TV film directed by Kimberly
Peirce (Boys Don’t Cry), Stop-Loss
tells the tale of
Sgt. Brandon
King (Phillippe)
who returns to his
Texas hometown
after serving a tour
in Iraq only to be
involuntarily called
back into service by the US Army. Here
he is faced with a dilemma: leaving his
family and risking his life again for a war
he doesn’t even believe in, or honoring
his duty as a soldier. Highlighting this
struggle is his relationship with boyhood
friends who served with him overseas:
one suffers from PTSD and the other
typifies the military mindset.
“Stop-Loss” is a clause that states that
any soldier may have their retirement,
promotion or separation suspended.
This information is provided to new
recruits, which states that during
wartime, soldiers will remain enlisted
in the military until six months after the
suspension of the war. The rub is only
Congress has the power to declare war,
which they have not done since WWII
although they did authorize Vietnam,
Persian Gulf, Afghanistan and Iraq.
Critics of this “back-door draft” argue
the semantics; if there are US troops
engaged in combat, then it is a war;
as such, Congress should declare war
in order for the stop-loss clause to be
enforceable.
Release Date: March 28, 2008
Funny Games
Starring: Naomi Watts, Tim Roth,
Michael Pitt
I could
summarize
this film in
one word:
funny. Of
course, writing
“funny” versus
saying it
makes it necessary to clarify I am being
completely sarcastic; this film is anything
but funny. In Funny Games, housewife,
Anna (Watts) retells the story of her
and her family being held hostage and
brutally tortured while on vacation by
two obviously-deranged, but outwardly
29
ionmovies
by Wes Bergman
[email protected]
MARCH 2008 MOVIE OPENINGS
7
7
7
7
7
7
7
14
14
14
14
21
21
21
28
28
28
28
28
TITLE
College Road Trip
10,000 B.C.
The Bank Job
Miss Petttigrew Lives...
CJ7
Snow Angels
Married Life
Doomsday
Horton Hears a Who!
Funny Games U.S.
Sleepwalking
Drillbit Taylor
Meet the Browns
La Misma Luna
21
Run, Fatboy, Run
Stop-Loss
Superhero Movie
Flawless
GENRE
Comedy
Adventure/ Drama
Thriller
Comedy/ Drama
Comedy/ Sci-Fi
Drama
Crime/ Drama/ Romance
Action/ Drama/ Sci-FI/ Thriller
Adventure/ Animation/ Family
Horror/ Thriller
Drama
Comedy
Comedy/ Drama
Drama
Drama
Comedy
Drama/ War
Action/ Comedy
Crime/ Drama
30
RATING
PG
PG-13
R
PG-13
PG
R
R
G
R
R
PG-13
PG-13
PG-13
PG-13
PG-13
R
PG-13
PG-13
After reviewing GLBT films for ION
Arizona for over year, I’ve come to the
conclusion that the majority of these
films deal with the central theme of
identity. Having seen more than just
GLBT films, however, I believe that
most films deal with this issue as it is
a concern central to all of humankind.
This month yields further explorations
of this issue and does so in poignant,
sometimes comic ways, as evidenced
in my two reviews for March: the
feature film, Fat Girls, and Here TV’s
original series, The DL Chronicles.
Fat Girls (2006)
Starring: Ash
Christian,
Jonathan
Caouette,
Ashley Fink
Set in a small
Texas town,
our focus is
on gay high
school student,
Rodney Miller
(Christian), who
loves theater and dreams of being
on Broadway, despite his humble
beginnings. The son of an adulterous
father (who dies, mid-movie, of a heart
attack during an affair with a midget
dominatrix) and an über-religious
mother, Rodney conceals his identity
(albeit poorly) at home and explores
the scene outside. With the help of
his plus-sized best friend, Sabrina
(Fink), and his theater teacher, Mr.
Cox (Caouette), Rodney finds a way to
be true to his inner “Fat Girl”- his term
for a person who doesn’t care how
society perceives them and continues
to march to the beat of their own drum.
Sometimes funny, often touching, Fat
Girls, is a thoughtful exploration of
how to be yourself when no one else
seems to want you to.
The DL Chronicles (2007)
Starring:
Damian T.
Raven, Terrell
Tilford,
Kareem
Ferguson
I couldn’t
honestly say
that I’m a good
person if I
recognized my
mistakes and
yet failed to apologize for them. To that
end, I owe a wholehearted apology to
Here TV for foolishly assuming all of
their content is similar to Dante’s Cove
and The Lair. While I will never admit
those two shows are good (because
they’re not), I will most certainly
acknowledge that many of their
productions have impressed me.
In particular, their original series,
The DL Chronicles is well-written,
well-produced, and superbly-acted
stories. Obviously, not everyone who
is homosexual or has homosexual
tendencies knows about it from day
one; our culture is one that heavily
conditions children from an early
age to reflect the social constructs
of feminity or masculinity and that
heterosexual behavior is expected and
normal, many men and women live in
the “down-low”, that is, they conceal
their sexuality from lovers, family,
friends and sometimes, themselves.
The DL Chronicles explores this
concept in the lives of black men as
told through the eyes of a journalist,
Chadwick Williams (Raven), who
looks at how this deception only harms
our loved ones and denies us the
happiness an honest self-image would
bring. I strongly recommend everyone
watch this show; it’s brilliant!
31
Live at The Dinah
PAT BENATAR
by DJ Christoff
We
Live For
LOVE
Pat Benatar fans will be hearing some
of their favorite songs in a new way
later this year. She and husband/cowriter Neil Giraldo just finished an
album featuring acoustic versions of
their songs, including hits such as “Love
Is a Battlefield,” “We Live for Love,”
“Promises in the Dark” and “Hell Is
for Children” as well as more recent
fare like “Every Time I Fall Back” and
“Somebody’s Baby.”
like when women were emerging on
the rock scene and all the sexism and
everything.”
But fans will get an in person sneak
peak at the new album when Benatar
performs in an exclusive concert at the
Club Skirts Dinah Shore Weekend on
Saturday, April 5 at the Doral Resort in
Palm Springs, California.
Now Benatar is fifty-five and is, as
people quickly find out is still a Long
Island rock chick - tough but goodhearted, very funny, with an impressive
command of swear words. She lives
with her family on the island of Maui in
an isolated and small community where
they are doing organic farming.
“When it comes to that (personal) stuff,
I’m so boring,” Benatar says with a
laugh. “I’m married to the same man
for over 30 years, right? It’s ridiculous.
So (the business) seemed like a much
more interesting thing to focus on, and I
think people will find it very interesting.”
“We do a fairly large acoustic set in
the show and people really love that,”
says Benatar, who will release the set
on her own Bel Chiasso label. “It’s not
like sitting down and just playing them
acoustically; we have to reinvent them
and change the arrangements. It’s fun to
do because the songs are really in their
bare-bones state, which is the way you
wrote them. So it’s nice to hear them
more like how you started them.
This will be Benatar’s first concert
for an all lesbian audience. Her fan
following has always been filled with gay
admirers.
“Most of my gay fans come up to me
and say ‘I don’t just love you, I want to
be you’” says Benatar. “I’m
just assuming it’s the
eyeliner. I don’t
know. They’re the
best, though
- I did Gay
Pride in
Long
Beach
and in
Tampa.
And
they’re
the
best
But fans won’t have trouble recognizing
the songs in these stripped-down
renditions. “You don’t want to diss all
your old stuff,” she explains. “It’s history
for people. It’s history for you. But I
really like to go back and re-examine it,
and things that were good always stand
up.” But their other principal project has
been an autobiography, which Benatar
says will focus less on their personal
lives and more on “what the world was
35
PAT BENATAR
woman with so much power, making this
record company $15, $20, $30 million
dollars a year. And back then when you
sold five million records this was a lot
of records, okay? I would be at a table
with all these men and we’d all be sitting
there - educated people. Businessmen.
Old guys, not twenty-year-olds, but fortyyear-olds. I was twenty, they were all
older men. I was thinking, ‘Okay, they
have life experience, they know what
they’re doing.’ They’d lean across with
that lecherous look and go, ‘What are you
going to wear for the video?’ And I would
look at them stunned, like ‘You’ve gotta
fuckin’ be kidding me. I just made you
guys $25 million fuckin’ dollars, you ask
me what I’m going to wear in the video?’ I
used to go nuts.”
audience. They’re so enthusiastic.
They come dressed up - it’s really fun.
They’re crazy and I love them. They’re
sweet as can be. Even my macho
husband, he has a great time, too. He’s
so cool, he doesn’t care. He loves the
gay community as well.”
With a new album and a devoted fan
base Benatar hopes to really settle
down in the future. “I want to be on
the Hana Highway selling leis and
pineapples or something, wearing a
muumuu.
“That’s what I’d really want to be doing.
I had no idea I would be doing this. At
fifty-five I thought I would be done. I
thought I’d be finished. If somebody told
me I’d be getting up there and singing
“Heartbreaker” at my age I’d laugh.
As a young woman in the 1980s fronting
a rock band in a male-dominated world,
Benatar faced many challenges.
“Listen, it’s the same age-old shit. For
some reason, somebody - and I don’t
know who it is, probably some geek
- said that when a female gets to a
certain age, all her sexuality goes. She’s
not a vital person anymore. If you’re
somebody’s mother you’re not vital.
This is such crap, because you’re still a
person. People still have lives. People
still have ideas and thoughts and
ambition and things like that. My
most important inspirational
job that I do is raising
those kids. That’s my
job. And that’s where
my ambition goes.
But I have a life.
I’m not only their
mother. I’m
still who I was
before, I just
don’t get to be
it all the time. I
already did the
gauntlet. It was
hard. I was a
“It was a nightmare,” she reveals. “We
were the first group of children of the
feminist movement. Every day there
was some horrible thing, like with (radio)
station managers. ’You come here and
sit on my lap.’ I was so militant. I always
had my fists up ready to go. I was so
aggressive because it was so necessary.
I was a little pit bull. Nothing made me
happier than making men in suits cry.”
The decade belonged to Benatar, who
won Grammy Awards for Best Female
Rock Performance four years in a row
and sold tens of millions of albums
around the world. Her many hits included
“Hit Me With Your Best Shot,” “You Better
Run,” “Love is a Battlefield,” a cover of
John Mellencamp’s “I Need a Lover” and
“Hell is For Children,” about the ravages
of child abuse.
“The New York Times was doing a series
36
on child abuse,” she explains the
song’s genesis. “We wrote the song
because it was so shocking. I wrote
the lyrics with the bass player and we
handed it to Spyder and said, ‘Make
this sound like the pain a child is going
through.’ I had no idea it would have
such an impact. We got bags and bags
of mail from children that were old
enough to write and from adults who
had lived through it. And unbelievably,
we had opposition from people who
did not understand what the song
was about. We had religious groups
picketing and protesting at concerts.”
When she played the Lilith Fair
some years back, she was surprised
to discover that so many female
musicians expressing their appreciation
for her trailblazing.
“If you like my music, I’m so happy
and if you don’t, I don’t really care. But
when you find this thread that connects
you to others through your lyrics and
music, that’s a glorious moment. In my
little cloistered world, I’m only thinking
about my influences, I’m not thinking
about myself influencing others. So
when it happens it is surprising.”
So how does it feel to be in her 50s and
still acclaimed as a rock goddess?
“I don’t know if I’m viewed as a rock
goddess,” she responds, “but if anyone
had told me we’d still be doing this,
I’d be laughing. But I’m so happy I am
because I’m enjoying it so much more
now. I’m controlling it as opposed to it
controlling me. I’m with my husband
and I’ve managed to have a life and a
professional life which I’m extremely
grateful for, and I love singing and
writing more than I ever have. I’m
incredibly blessed and happy that I’m
getting the chance to continue.”
a conversation with
Mariah Hanson
by DJ Christoff
Dinah Shore Weekend isn’t just an annual
getaway, it is a huge explosion of girl power
that ignites the Southern California desert each
year, turning professional, serious minded
women of all ages into wild, fun loving party
goers, crystal blue pools into mere backdrops
for the international crowd of bikini-clad lesbians
that fill them and nightly parties into legendary
evenings filled with dance, A-list entertainment
and non-stop excitement.
For more than 17 years, Dinah Shore Weekend
has been considered the largest lesbian
party in the world and throughout that period,
Mariah Hanson has been the dynamo behind
the event, taking Dinah Shore to new heights
each year; often surprising even herself in the
process.
As final preparation for this year’s Dinah Shore
Weekend were taking shape, Mariah spoke
about Dinah Shore 2008 and all the excitement
that she had lined up for the event--like
appearances by Pat Benatar, Colbie Caillat, A
Shot of Love’s Tila Tequila and Dani Campbell,
Leisha Hailey’s band Uh-Huh Her, as well as
the return of two huge events; the massively
popular celebrity fashion show and last year’s
filled to capacity Be Scene event featuring the
stars of “The L Word”.
IONAZ: So Mariah, Dinah Shore is always the
women’s weekend of the year but have you got
any special treats in store this year?
Bring on the
GIRLS:
Dinah Shore
Weekend ‘08
Mariah Hanson: Pat Benatar left her scheduled
vacation early to perform during the weekend.
The 80’s icon ‘s presence is causing a huge
stir. Colbie Caillat, pop’s newest hit artist is
performing with Pat. Lisa Lisa of The Cult Jam
performs at our Saturday pool party at The
Doral, with scheduled appearances by LOGO”s
Exes and Oh’s and here! TV’s Dante’s Cove
actresses. We have Jane Lynch, Tila Tequila,
Michelle Paradise, Thea Gill, Michelle Clunie
and Jenny Shimizu in our fashion show along
with some other celebrity guests that are just
going to blow you away. And we also have Betty
performing at the L Word Pool Party along with
scheduled appearances by Kate Meonnig and
Leisha Hailey. It’s coming together in a really
exciting way. It’s going to be our largest year.
IONAZ: Any anticipated changes this year?
MH: Yes, several. We are focusing our pool
parties on the Doral Pool area and moving our
main party from The Wyndham to The Doral.
We are redesigning the Doral pool area to
utilize the entire grassy area. We need more
space. We are outgrowing the hotels. The Doral
Pool area is the largest in the desert and we
plan to host the largest pool party in the history
of the Dinah with Volley Ball nets, Frisbees, a
larger stage area on the knoll and more room
for dancing!
IONAZ: You manage to attract the majority of
the major media networks to jointly sponsor
your event. It’s unusual to see Logo and here!
sponsoring the same event, and then Showtime
on top of that!
MH: I am so proud to have managed to
secure the massive media support Club Skirts
exclusively enjoys. I imagine they recognize my
company as the original founder of the modern
day Dinah and acknowledge that this event is
the premiere lesbian event. Logo is airing Club
Skirts Dinah commercials this year. All the
three networks bring their talent and this helps
create the unmatched level of celebrity that
Club Skirts brings to the table.
IONAZ: And what celebrity DJ’s do you have
lined up to spin the women of Dinah Shore
Weekend into a frenzy this year?
MH: I’ve booked Kathy Valenti from Los
Angeles who is one of the best female DJ’s I
have ever worked with. We are also using DJ
Rocky B out of Houston. Lisa Pittman from
Las Vegas, Brooke Webster from New York,
Amara from Los Angeles, Saratonin from San
Francisco, and Sysco, the King of Mash Up out
of San Fran. We focus primarily on popular hip
hop, R & b and House. We have two ballrooms
for dancing so it will be off the hook.
IONAZ: Let’s face it, there isn’t another
women’s party on the planet like Dinah Shore.
Why do you think after all these years Dinah
Shore is still the pre-eminent women’s event in
the world?
MH: The California climate of great weather
and beautiful women certainly helps, LOL. I
make sure the main hotels are 100% lesbian
occupied. I partner with other clubs across
the nation to create Dinah parties. It’s a
win-win that exposes the weekend to more
and more national party goers. I make a
serious investment in light, sound, décor and
entertainment. I don’t think any other girl
promoters in the nation are doing that. There
are certainly parties all over the nation for
women but none that are making the kind of
financial investment into the weekend that
Club Skirts is. And when you combine that with
thousands of beautiful women from all over the
globe and great music, you’ve got a formula
that just can’t be beat!
IONAZ: After more than 17 years of doing this
weekend what do you enjoy most about it?
MH: I love the way the entertainment hangs
out at the event. It’s not unusual to see the
talent hanging out at The Doral pool mingling
with other party goers, and just enjoying
themselves. I love the diversity of women who
come together from all backgrounds and put
their differences aside for five days to celebrate
simply being lesbians, to celebrate their loves
and their lives out in the open without prejudice
and discrimination. Something happens over
the course of the weekend. Women leave more
united than when they came. I know it sounds
kind a silly to say a party can change people’s
lives, but it does.
For more information on Club Skirts Dinah
Shore Weekend 2008 or to purchase tickets,
go to www.thedinah.com.
Meet the Men
NAME: Miles
This month brought together Javier
from Tucson, and Miles from Washington
D.C. Miles was vacationing in Arizona when
he met Javier at Roscoe’s Super Bowl Party and
they clicked. After a long night of partying at Roscoes,
Charlies, then Apollo’s they exchanged numbers and
that weekend, we took them on an ION Night Out.
After Dinner out West at Lake Pleasant Harbor, we
drove back to Phoenix and partied at Apollo’s, then
Forbidden Nightclub- We all decided that Miles was
very aptly named-- He just keeps going and going!!!
ASTROLOGICAL SIGN: Gemini
ORIGINALLY FROM: Livonia, Michigan
OCCUPATION: Secure
Telecommunications Engineer
FOR FUN: Travel, go dancing &
drinking!
WHEN DID YOU COME OUT? 22
FAVORITE SPORTS: Basketball
TURN-ONS: A great smile, good sense
of humor, and fit bodies.
TURN-OFFS: Bad breath & arrogance.
YOURSELF IN 3 WORDS: Fun,
spontaneous, and blonde.
NAME: Javier
ASTROLOGICAL SIGN: Pisces
ORIGINALLY FROM: Tucson, Arizona
OCCUPATION: Home Inspector
FOR FUN: Road trips, hiking, boating,
hanging out with friends.
WHEN DID YOU COME OUT? 21
DREAM DESTINATION: Sydney,
Australia
FAVORITE SPORTS: Soccer
TURN-ONS: Military guys.
TURN-OFFS: Messy people.
YOURSELF IN 3 WORDS: Funny,
crazy, and friendly.
602-993-4567 phx
520-791-2345 tuc
Get a Date Tonight!
See ad on page 99 (Free code: 4448)
George & Dragon
Oy! I say, old chap,
jolly good show!
Fancy a pint and a
pastie? Push aside
the Corned Beef
and Cabbage this
St. Patrick’s Day.
How about some
Bangers and Mash?
A bit of Spotted Dick
for afters? Sit down,
mates. I’m about to
dish up the tasty pub
grub they have at
uptown’s venerable
George & Dragon
English Restaurant
& Pub. It’s a real
nosh up for blokes,
birds and anglophiles
everywhere.
Huh? It’s amazing how our two
countries are separated by the same
language, but fortunately we’re united
by lots of good, hearty, stick-to-yourribs food. Remember, the English
came across the Big Pond here about
three hundred years ago and brought
their snacks with them. Some we’ve
adopted. Some - not so much so.
Anything you’ve heard about
notoriously bland, boring, tasteless
Limey food either doesn’t exist here
at George & Dragon or mercifully has
been expunged from the menu. Things
like Jellied Eels. Yecch! George &
Dragon has a veritable groaning board
of scrummy taste treats you’ll come
back for time and again. And if you
little shirtlifters go during lunchtime
you just might be lucky enough to get
the dreamy footie coach Lee from
Cambridge as your waiter. “Footie” is
42
soccer to us Yanks.
So if you thought
is had anything to
do with a foot fetish
you’ll be sadly
disappointed, my
clever little dicks.
Strategically placed
TV monitors and
screens broadcast
footie games
from across Great
Britain all day long.
I’m a huge fan of
Tottenham Hotspur.
Why? Because
that’s who Lee likes.
The Cornish Pasties
(the “a” is short, not
long. That’s what strippers wear over
their nipples) hails from the rocky
coast of Cornwall, home of those
adorable little game hens. This airy
puff-pastry is stuffed with marinated
ground beef and vegetables.
Delicious, I couldn’t help but wish
it had a few more veggies in it, but
it was tasty nonetheless, despite
missing the Branston pickle promised
on the menu. Whatever that is. The
Pastie is available for vegetarians.
Old standby Shepherd’s Pie is the
dog’s bollocks. That’s a good thing.
George’s secret recipe of marinated
lean ground beef, onions, carrots and
peas comes with a roof of buttered
mashed potatoes, topped with
cheddar cheese and a side of rich,
brown gravy. It includes a dinner roll,
which would’ve been lovely if it were
warm. This natty dish, too, would’ve
been the bomb had they been a bit
more generous with the veggies.
43
No pub would be complete without the
ubiquitous culinary jewel of the North
Atlantic: Fish & Chips. George gives
you fat fillets of cod in their beer batter
and served with “chips” - french fries,
you know. Nice, big, fat, thick ones.
Sounds luscious, doesn’t it? Lest I
forget, the tartar sauce is extraordinary.
Just tangy enough, creamy enough,
and with a perfect amount of relish.
A wedge of lemon is provided to help
prevent scurvy. This U.K. staple also
comes with a side of either peas
- although not of the famed, British
“mushy” variety - green beans or cole
slaw. Everyone has their own special
recipe for cole slaw, and George &
Dragon is no exception. And it’s not
bad, either. This slaw is mild, creamy,
fresh and the cabbage is crisp and
crunchy.
The menu also includes trusty pub
grub standbys like Steak & Kidney Pie,
Bangers & Mash, Roast Beef along with
44
obviously non-British nibbley-bits, like
Mozzarella Sticks and Dragon Wings.
Britannia may not rule the waves, but
her lunch specials sure rule! They’re
a real deal for only $6.95. Dinners
top out at only $10.95. Don’t forget
the excellent selection of suds. Some
of the best in town. Remember, it’s a
pub.
Still, if you’re looking for the full monty,
you’ll go barmy for the George &
Dragon. Despite the Light Rail chaos,
you’ll be glad you went, if you haven’t
already. If nothing else, you’ll be a
nutter for Lee, the waiter. I am, luvvie.
Go Tottenham Hotspurs!
You’ll find the George & Dragon at
4240 N. Central Ave. just north of
Indian School Road. They’re open
daily from 11 a.m. - 2 a.m.
PHONE: 602-241-0018
45
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For more pictures, go to www.IONAZ.com
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55
From Behind the Bar, to Dancing like a Star…
R
dancing with the bars
unning with the popularity of ABC’s
national television sensation, SWAY Events’
Dancing With the Bars will pair your favorite
local drink slingers with professional
dancers resulting in a dynamic dancing
competition. And it won’t be an easy. From
female impersonators, to those with two left
feet, this competition will push the constants
to their limits and have them shaking their
derrières to prove they’ve got what it takes to
be crowned the Dancing
with the Bars 2008
Champion.
Stacy, one of the most popular bartenders,
is hard at work to add another title to his
credentials. And rumor has it that this guy is
taking the contest seriously, shedding some
pounds with the help of Tangible Fitness.
Beware of “Kat.” You can catch her every
Thursday night at the Cash Inn teaching Line
Dancing so you know she’ll be bringing her “A”
game for a little one-two step.
The winning cocktail
chemist will receive a prize
package that will include
accommodations at the
Zen Yard where they will
be pampered in a modern
man’s oasis. Their dance
instructor will be awarded a
celebrity-style photography
session with Michael Keele
Photography.
First there’s Jamel
from Velocity and the
2006 Arizona Gay Idol
winner. He’s no stranger
to fierce competition and
knows just what it takes
to win. But this time
around he won’t have
that big voice to rely on.
He’ll have to convince
us with his feisty moves
alone.
As bartenders from
Velocity, Kobalt, Charlie’s,
Amsterdam, Bar 1, Cash
Inn and Forbidden all gear
up to get-up-and-go from behind the bar to
dancing like a star, they’re helping to raise
money for the 1 Voice Community Center. Log
on to the new swayevents.com and catch
up with your favorite bartender at his or her
“Tappy Hour” leading up to the event which will
give fans a chance to rally for their fave while
scoring giveaways from the SWAY Events
Street Team.
Next, you have Jo Jo. She’s your resident
Amsterdam drink mistress. In preparation for
the competition, this Princess is hitting up the
gym to make sure she’s in tip-top shape for
annihilating the competition.
Does the name Kiki Vermont ring a bell? This
dancing diva is ditching the wig and heels
to perform as Marcellus, the bartender from
Bar 1 in a performance that won’t soon be
forgotten.
Dancing With the Bars happens at Club
Forbidden on Sunday, March 30th. Get the
VIP “backstage pass” with all-access to the
event including posh seating, delicious eats,
and cocktails courtesy of Michelob Ultra and
Smirnoff. VIP ticket packages are on sale at
swayevents.com priced at $45 for a single and
$75 for a couple. For more information visit
www.swayevents.com.
Russ from Forbidden will have the home court
advantage as he uses his charm and devilish
good looks to convince the celebrity judges
that he is the ultimate dancing bartender.
Alfredo from Charlie’s will be twisting and
turning to show off his best dance steps. This
hunky bar manager is surely somebody to
keep your eyes on.
56
57
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58
Rediscover The Root Seller
The Root Seller is celebrating their 10th Anniversary! For a decade The
Root Seller has been part of your community, providing a variety of healing
herbs, essential oils, incense, lotions and resins as part of our wide range
of inventory. Exciting things are happening at The Root Seller, too! We’ve
grown, evolved and reinvented ourself! Last year we moved to a new
location on the southeast corner of 16th Street and Indian School Road
loaded with more than 10,000 square feet of antiques, art, collectibles,
music, GLBT literature and more.
Scott and Joel:
Your Magical Hosts
Scott Taylor and Joel Hamilton
create the magic behind The Root
Seller Gallery & Apothecary and
Antique Marketplace. Together,
they bring to Phoenix and the
GLBT community a valuable
resource of hard to find GLBT
books and literature, fine herbs,
music, jewelry, gifts, Pride
merchandise and so much more.
Discover everything they have
today!
Transfigure
Your Decor
Decorating your home? Looking
for something special
and unique? The Root
Seller offers extraordinary
Gothic-style architectural
wall art sculpture,
beautifully created
art glass from
Romania, other
home arts, design
objects and - of
course - the famous
handcrafted,
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61
Anique Market Place:
A Journey Through Time
licensed reproductions of the famous “I
Dream of Jeannie” bottle. Make as many
wishes as you want! The Root Seller is part of
them.
We’re proud to have the largest selection
of GLBT books, literature and magazines
for sale in the state. If you’re looking for
stunning male photography display books,
biographies, lifestyle guides and manuals,
erotica, fiction, travel guides, or other hardto-find titles, The Root Seller has it!
The Root Seller also features an imaginative
collection of music. Choose from hard-tofind recordings of Celtic, Native American,
Indo-Persian, techno-trance, music for yoga
and meditation or vocals. Special orders for
books and music is available, too.
New merchandise is arriving every day!
Get on our mailing list and we’ll keep you
informed. Write to us at
[email protected]
A Revolution in Leather
and Drag Couture
Are you looking for an addition to your
wardrobe that really says something?
We’ve got it here at Starina and Sebastian!
Our new 1,000 square foot suite has eyecatching shoes and boots, leather, sexy
underwear, t-shirts and other accessories
that sparkle and shine. Come check it out!
62
63
The vessel with the pestle
has the pellet for the potion.
The flagon with the dragon
has the brew that is true! The
Apothecary at The Root Seller
carries a variety of essential
oils, homeopathic tinctures and
tisanes. We’ve also got body
lotions and creams, elegantly
crafted candles, resins and
smudge sticks. Our carefully
selected herbs include Valerian
Root, White Willow Bark, Monk’s
Hood, Burdock Root and
delicately grown teas you can
brew at home. Let us help you
select what herbs are right for
you.
Wicked Bakery
Got a sweet tooth? We can help!
Every day we’re pleased to present
a selection of delicious pastries,
brownies, cakes and other baked
goods to satisfy you. These are
expertly baked by those naughty
folks at Wicked Bakery.
Credits
Photographer...................... Don Thompson
Art Direction.. Deon Brown, Kevin Bushaw
We’d like to thank our models, Marc Chatow
and his partner, Jim Patches. They shared
their good looks, great bodies and talent with
us. Find out more about them at
www.myspace.com/marcandjim
64
65
BUSINESS OFFERS/DISCOUNTS*
RESTAURANTS / BARS / EVENTS
AMSTERDAM BAR
FORBIDDEN
ION ARIZONA MAGAZINE
MIGUEL’S REST. -TUCSON
MI PATIO
MY BIG FAT GREEK RESTAURANT
ROSCOE’S
WILD CARD
Z PIZZA
$ave money
while supporting
your community!
Get your key (chain)
to great savings!
Only $10 @ Unique on Central
Movies on Central
Root Seller Gallery
Offers expire
Oct. 31, 2008!
NOW
ONLY
$10
1/2 OFF Cocktails/$5 Martinis
(Sundays only)
$5 Martinis and Forbiddentinis
$5 OFF Splash Bash 2008 cover
25% OFF
Buy 1 entree get 1 FREE
(of equal or lesser value.
Limit 2 per table or group)
10% OFF Food (excludes drinks)
$2 OFF Any Lunch Menu Entree
(11 am-3 pm)
15% OFF Food Purchase
(excludes Happy Hour appetizers)
10% OFF
SERVICES
COMMUNITY TIRE & AUTO $10 OFF any purchase
ENCANTO FAMILY DENTISTRY 10% OFF any dental procedure
(Excludes Zoom! teeth whitening)
ENERGY TANNING 30% OFF any single month
30% OFF whole tanning package
20% OFF Lotion
LASER RX SPA & LASER CTR. 20% OFF Laser RX service pkg.
LOS OLIVOS HAND CAR WASH $2 OFF any car wash
15% OFF complete detail
NU IMAGE 20% OFF first visit
OPEN WIDE DENTAL $100 OFF Zoom! teeth whitening
PUMPED CUT FITNESS 20% OFF supplements
URBAN MED SPA 10% OFF Any Service, Any time
VALDEZ REFRIGERATION 10% OFF
RETAIL
ADULT SHOPPE 10% OFF Merchandise
FASCINATIONS 15% OFF merchandise
(Must be 18 or older. Excludes
rentals. In-store purchases only)
MOVIES ON CENTRAL Rent two get one rental FREE
(Valid Sunday-Thursday)
ROOT SELLER 10% OFF Merchandise
(excludes books, music, DVDs,
suppliments & consignment art)
UNIQUE ON CENTRAL 10% OFF merchandise
(Excludes books, music, movies
and magazines)
HOTELS
BLUE MOON RESORT - VEGAS Buy two nights get third night FREE
HOTEL PENASCO - ROCKY POINT Buy 3 nights, get 1 night FREE
LA POSADA HOTEL - TUCSON Buy 2 nights, get 1 FREE
Certain black-out dates and some restrictions may apply.
Offer based upon availability.
ADULT
DICK’S CABARET $5 OFF admission (everyday)
ION VIPs Never
Pay Full Price.
* Some restrictions apply. See store for details.
Not valid with any other offer.
Offers expires October 31, 2008.
One special per cardholder per visit.
Phoenix
Metropolitan
Men’s Chorus
says “Thank
You for the
Music”
Gimme, Gimme, Gimme A Man
After Midnight ... the Phoenix
Metropolitan Men’s Chorus and
Harmonic Vibrations gives you
what you want with their production
“ExtrABBAganza” - a disco-licious
two-hour performance where they’ll
be singing and dancing to the
greatest hits of Anni-Frid, Benny,
Bjorn and Agnetha - that’s ABBA,
kids! Can’t You Hear the Drums,
Fernando?
Richard Plummer, Steve Uhrman,
Carter Driggs, Jeff Perales and 22
other members of the Chorus, plus
six musicians are the Super Troopers
recreating the best tunes of the
Swedish songbirds from the Golden
Age of Disco using the original
music’s orchestration.
70
Do you want to be part of this active,
energetic and fun chorus? If you’re
a singer you can audition for the
chorus? Auditions are right around
the corner. Visit www.gcpaphx.
org or call 602-717-4262 for more
information.
Knowing Me, Knowing You, this
is guaranteed to be a hit with the
Dancing Queen in everyone. This is
just one concert the Chorus offers as
part of their 2007-2008 Thank You
For The Music season.
Does Your Mother Know? The fun
takes place on March 28 & 29 at 8
p.m. at the Phoenix Center for the
Arts Theatre, an intimate, 215-seat
theatre at 1202 North Third Street
- on the east end of the Margaret
Hance Deck Park. You’ll have a
chance to see a revival of the show’s
hits in a fundraiser for the Chorus
on April 19 at Club Forbidden in
Scottsdale. Everyone’s invited and
encouraged to wear 70’s attire,
Chiquitita. Get your tickets soon at
ShowUpTix.com.
The Winner Takes It All! We’ll See
you there!
71
by Mark Layne
Get Ready for Summer!
It’s almost spring and time to
get that body ready!
Okay, it is getting warmer out there
and the pool party invitations are going
to start coming again. In no time you
will want to shed that shirt for some
outdoor activity. During the depth of
winter you could have been working
on fine tuning that body of yours when
you had plenty of time to do so. What
do you do now in the beginning of
March? Here are some ideas to try to
bridge the gap and put you into the
swim of things before it’s too late.
For starters, get realistic about goals.
Fat loss is faster to accomplish than
building muscle mass. If you planned
to beef up a few months ago and then
trim down for summer, adjust that goal.
It takes more time for most of us to
gain muscle as drop fat so shift your
workout routine, diet program and
personal habits to adapt to this new
reality. You may not get as much of the
buff look you wanted but you can still
trim up your frame for now. This Fall
you can get into mass building again.
Begin with an absolute ban on salt,
toss it out and use mustard or lemon
pepper to season your food. Next is
to increase your water intake to one
gallon per day spread across the day.
Switch to a sugar
substitute and put
the sugared drinks
and fruit juices
away for a while.
Cut out the carbs
four hours before
you hit the sack,
period, no
exceptions!
Eat all the lean protein you want but
not carbs. If you have flip-flopped
about whether to join a gym - stop
it! Make a stand and just do it. If
you work out at home, dust off the
weights in the garage and start using
them. You can get a month-to-month
membership at a gym if you ask for it.
Hit the gym six days a week starting
right now and get a personal trainer
or a friend to help you. Just be honest
and tell them what you are trying to do
and how to get there and make them
part of the accountability process.
You do your part and they do their
part and you will find a partner in this
springtime effort. Shift over to higher
rep programs and keep the weight
modest right now until you get closer
to a trimmer shape.
Try a fat burner of some sort. There
are a lot of new products out there
and many have excluded excessive
amounts of Ephedra to achieve those
goals so visit a good supplement
store and spend a little money to get a
good aid to add to your efforts.
73
ION PARTY CAM
If that’s not enough, attend one of my
“fast track” FREE consultations, all
during March and April to get some
more immediate ideas to hit the
ground running! Can you achieve this?
Absolutely!
If you drink much alcohol then make
these changes. Drop the sweetened
liquors and opt for basic blends, right now
is not the time for high sugar liquors or
mixed drinks like Schnapps, margaritas
or flavored liquor. Switch to low carb “lite”
beers. White wines are lower in calories
than red.
Mark Layne is a Certified
Personal Trainer and Owner of
PUMPEDCUT Fitness.
Anytime you have a nice tan it tends
to minimize the look of being a little
overweight so now is the time to tan that
skin, but use the proper precautions.
Don’t wait until Friday before a Sunday
party to hit the tanning booth!
He can be reached at
480-430-6282
For more pictures, go to www.IONAZ.com
74
75
Vol. 1, Issue 12
MARCH 2008
�����������
OUTRAGEOUS!
������������������������������������������������������
Unfair and unbalanced. We decide.
�����������������������������������������������������
FORMER GAY CABARET
TO SAIL THE SEVEN SEAS
PHOENIX
- The United
States Bureau
of Commercial
Maritime
Registry
announced
that former
gay restaurant
and cabaret,
Pookie’s, later
known as
Miggee B’s at 4540 N. 7th St. has been
purchased by White Star Line and is
currently being renovated and refitted to
be the the latest jewel in the luxury cruise
ship’s tiara, to be dubbed S.S. Pookie.
Emporium
and SockIt-To-Me
Boutique.”
In the mid1970s disco
fever struck
and it was
transformed
into “Le
Ultra Chic
Maxi Glam
Discotheque” and closed suddenly when
disco died and the owners were caught
chartering a flight to Bolivia with the club’s
money and a couple of eightballs of cocaine.
In the late 80s it was the Cadillac Cafe
before Pookie’s purchased the building and
opened up their little diner and cabaret,
frequented by homosexuals, lesbians and
drag queens.
�����������
“The building’s a natural as an ocean
liner for the cruise line industry,” said
Adrian Carruthers Wainwright, CEO of the
Carnival Cruise Line in an interview from
his New York City office. “Its������������������������������������������������������
sleek, art
Maritime structural engineering firm, Stem
deco lines recall the finest days of oceanic
& Stern indicate that creating an seaworthy
travel. It brings to mind the glamorous
vessel from the building will be easy. Project
�����������������������������������������������������
ocean
liners like the Normandie, the
foreman Edgar Porter said, “We’re currently
Queen Mary or even the Titanic.”
working on forging the hull of the ship. Then
we’ll install the stabilizers, throw in a boiler
Built in 1932 during the depths of the Great
room, add a few smoke stacks, get the
Depression, the structure originally housed
staterooms decorated, then tow it down the
“Prindle’s,” a ladies’ clothing boutique
canal, get the sonuvabitch into the Pacific
and men’s haberdashery for the Phoenix
Ocean somehow or another, and we’re in
elite. In the late 1940s through 1957 it
business.”
housed “The Cock-A-Doodle Donut Hut.”
During the 1960s urban blight struck and it
Reservations for the maiden voyage to
played host as “The Hippy Dippy Incense
London are now being taken.
�����������
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�����������������������������������������������������
76
77
�����������
���������������������������������
������������������������������������������������������
�����������������������������������������������������
MARILYN MANSON MAYHEM ON
ICE FOLLIES TOUR ANNOUNCED
GOV. NAPOLITANO AND PRINCE
ANDREW CAUGHT IN LOVE NEST
LOS ANGELES dressed in a red latex
Shockrocker Marilyn
SS officer’s uniform with
Manson announced he
a three-foot phallus.
will begin touring this
I’m definitely looking
summer with a new artistic
forward to it.”
discipline: figure skating.
Every decent, GodManson wanted to
fearing, Christian, middlepartner with figure
class mother’s worst
skating darlings Michelle
nightmare will become a
Kwan or Brian Boitano
������������������������������������������������������
triple-toe loop, doublebut both declined.
salchow and a half-lutz
ice
frozen reality when
“We’re still negotiating
�����������������������������������������������������
Manson embarks with his
with has-been figure
“Mayhem On Ice Follies”
skating bad-ass Tonya
tour around the world,
Harding, however,”
sponsored by Wonder
Manson said. “She’s
Bread.
willing to skate wearing
a straightjacket. We’ll be
The entertainment
performing the “I Don’t
spectacle features Manson
Like Drugs Death Spiral”
incorporating his greatest
while I sing, “This Is The
hits while he figure skates. Highlights will
New Shit” and then crack her shins with a
include the “Slutgarden Short Program”
baton.
followed by the “If I Was Your������������������������������������������������������
Vampire Free
Skate” where he will exhibit������������������������������������������������������
his exquisite
The grand finale will feature about fifty
“Dope Show Discipline” that will amaze
unsuspecting kindergartners released
�����������������������������������������������������
and
horrify audiences everywhere.
onto the ice while Manson chases them
�����������������������������������������������������
with a chainsaw and a blowtorch as he
“My favorite part is the ‘Execution on the
sings, “Smells Like Children.” You can only
Zamboni’ where blood is spread across
imagine the pandemonium that ensues
the white ice,” said Anti-Christ, Superstar
while the terrified, innocent children
Manson. “My signature move is a quad
scramble for an exit from the ice rink.
followed by a half-lutz and a layback.
And then I stage a mock execution where
Vendors will sell Marilyn Manson
I assassinate thirteen concessioners
cellphone ringtones, ice skate cigarette
dressed as the Easter Bunny as I skate to
lighters and tour straightjackets. This
‘Are You The Rabbit?’ I’ll be costumed as
figure skating concert contains mature
literature’s Hans Brinker with silver skates,
themes. Parental advisory is suggested.
So don’t bring your mom and dad.
������������������������������������������������������
and investment,
PHOENIX His Royal Highness
Tongues from
is courting
Arizona to
Arizona based
Buckingham
businesses like
Palace have
domain registration
been set a-wag
������������������������������������������������������
company
when baritoneGoDaddy.com
voiced, heartand kissing up to
breaking vixen
�����������������������������������������������������
Honeywell, who
Governor Janet
has eight facilities
Napolitano was
in the UK already.
caught vamping
royal blue-blood
“In return for your
Prince Andrew,
valuable economic
Duke of York at
contributions,
the oh-so-chic
Great Britain is fully prepared reciprocate,
Arizona Biltmore Resort and Spa just before
offering Arizona grand products and
Valentine’s Day. Coincidence or a romantic
services, like locomotives, textile looms
rendezvous for two?
and steam engines. Jolly good things!” said
the Prince, returning to the conference after
The playboy Prince, affectionately known
a bit of snogging in a poolside cabana with
as “Randy Andy” in his bachelor days
Napolitano.
apparently hasn’t lost his majestic mojo yet.
His Highness was caught whispering and
The Governor’s staff attempted to quash
giggling affectionately into Janet’s pretty,
any rumors. “They weren’t holding hands,
pink ear all afternoon long on������������������������������������������������������
the eve of the
you nitwits, they were shaking hands,
day dedicated to lovers across the world.
dammit. He’s a pansy, first of all. He’s
�����������������������������������������������������
British, for crying out loud!”
One
Palace insider reports, “It’s hardly a
secret that the Prince has the hot pants
Still, spies reported that the Guv was seen
for Miss Governor Napolitano. This tryst
checking into the hotel and sneaking into a
may appear to be all business promoting
secluded casita carrying a shopping bags
economic relations between Arizona and
from Victoria’s Secret and Cabela’s. Prince
the United Kingdom, but those in the know
Andrew was seen just scant minutes later
suspect that love is in the air.”
slipping in the same casita carrying DVDs
of several Merchant-Ivory films, a pot of
The UK is the state’s sixth largest
tea and a cricket paddle. Now that sounds
international trading partner. As the UKs
sexy.
special representative for international trade
������������������������������������������������������
�����������
�����������
�����������
�����������
�����������
�����������������������������������������������������
�����������
���������������������������������
�����������
�����������
�����������������������������������������������������
�����������
������������������������������������������������������
LEPRECHAUN REPORTS
STOLEN LUCKY CHARMS
�����������������������������������������������������
TIPPERARY, Ireland - St. Patrick’s Day
By the laws of the wee faerie folk I was
is a cherished holiday around the world.
obliged to show him me treasure. All is
Schoolchildren pinch classmates who
lost!”
aren’t wearing
������������������������������������������������������
green, adults
The merry
get drunk on
prankster
green
beer,
allegedly took
�����������������������������������������������������
but perhaps
the greedy
nothing is
miscreant
quite so
to his home.
sacred as a
Suddenly,
leprechaun’s
things took a
precious
turn for the
Lucky
worse.
Charms.
“Here I
“They’re
was,” said
always after
McDonahue,
me Lucky
“Handin’ over
Charms,” said
me treasure.
leprechaun
Gold ingots!
Paddy “The Mick” McDonahue, of
Silver doubloons! Money! Jewels! The
Tipperary. “Every year they’re tryin’ to
MacIntosh Air! And then the bounder
������������������������������������������������������
take the whole kit and kaboodle,
includin’ heads for the pantry - straight for me
the yellow moons, pink hearts, orange
Lucky Charms!” In a flash the robber
stars, blue diamonds and green clovers.” made off with McDonahue’s fabled
�����������������������������������������������������
It looks like this year a band of malicious breakfast cereal of toasted oats and
thieves finally succeeded in their heist.
marshmallow bits, or ‘marbits’ as they’re
known in the industry.
“After a long day of mischief making,
bewitching and trickery amongst the
Tipperary police and detectives have
citizenry, I was headin’ back to me home. been rounded up from local pubs and
‘Tis a simply shanty, located at the end
bars to investigate. As soon as they
of the rainbow,” McDonahue explained.
recover from their hangovers they will
“Then, some young hooligan buttonholed give the matter their complete attention.
me and wouldn’t let me out of his sight.
Or until the next Happy Hour.
�����������
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�����������
�����������
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�����������������������������������������������������
81
2008 MISS GAY US OF A
DOWNTOWN PHOENIX
82
PHOENIX NIGHTLIFE
84
1.
Amsterdam
718 N. Central Ave. - Downtown Phoenix
(602) 258-6122
2.
NEW! Angelo’s (to be Bar 1)
3708 N. 16th St. - Phoenix
(602) 266-9001
3.
Apollo’s
5749 N. 7th St. - Phoenix
(602) 277-9373
Area Phoenix
2104 N. 23rd Ave. (North of McDowell Rd.) - Phx
4.
BS West
7125 5th Ave. - Scottsdale
(480) 945-9028
5.
Bunkhouse
4428 N. 7th Ave. - Phoenix
(602) 200-9154
6.
Burn Nightclub
CLOSED
7.
Cash Inn
2140 E. McDowell Rd. - Phoenix
(602) 244-9943
8.
Cell Block
998 E. Indian School Rd. - Phoenix
(602) 266-5640
9.
Charlie’s
727 W. Camelback Rd. - Phoenix
(602) 265-0224
10.
The Chute Men’s Club
1440 E Indian School Rd. - Phoenix
(602) 234-1654
C
Clarendon Hotel + Suites
401 W. Clarendon Ave. - Phoenix
(602) CLARENDON
11.
Club Vibe
3031 E. Indian School Rd. - Phoenix
(602) 224-9977
12.
Cruisin’ 7th
3702 N. 7th St. - Phoenix
(602) 212-9888
13.
Dick’s Cabaret
3432 E. Illini Rd. - Phoenix
(602) 274-DICK
14.
e lounge
CLOSED
15.
Friends
1028 E. Indian School Rd. - Phoenix
(602) 277-7729
16.
Forbidden
6820 E. 5th Ave. - Scottsdale
forbiddenaz.com
17.
Homme
138 W. Camelback Rd. - Phoenix
(602) 266-0875
18.
Ice Pics
3108 E. McDowell Rd. - Phoenix
(602) 267-8707
19.
Incognito
2424 E. Thomas Rd. - Phoenix
(602) 955-9805
20.
Karamba
1724 E. McDowell Rd. - Phoenix
(602) 254-0231
21.
Kobalt
3110 N. Central Ave. - Phoenix
(602) 264-5307
22.
Club Miami
716 N. Central Ave. - Phoenix
(602) 258-6122
23.
Nu-Towne Saloon
5002 E. Van Buren St. - Phoenix
(602) 267-9959
24.
OZ.
1804 W. Bethany Home Rd. - Phoenix
(602) 242-5114
25.
Paco Paco
3045 N. 16th St. - Phoenix
(602) 279-0831
26.
Phoenix Eagle
3114 E. Cactus Rd. - Phoenix
(602) 493-0355
27.
Plazma
1560 E. Osborn Rd. - Phoenix
(602) 266-0477
28.
Pumphouse II
4132 E. McDowell Rd. - Phoenix
(602) 275-3509
29.
The Rock
4129 N. 7th Ave. - Phoenix
(602) 248-8559
30.
Roscoe’s
4531 N. 7th St. - Phoenix
(602) 285-0833
31.
Taylor’s Tavern
15615 N. Cave Creek Rd. - Phoenix
(602) 867-2463
32.
Velocity (old Harley’s)
2303 E. Indian School Rd. - Phoenix
(602) 956-2885
33.
Wild Card
801 N. Arizona Ave. - Chandler
(480) 857-3088
34.
Z Girl Club
4301 N. 7th Ave. - Phoenix
(602) 265-3233
85
Happy Hour 4-7pm
Happy Hour 4-7pm
Karaoke @ 9pm w/ Tim
$5 Martinis & Manicures
Happy Hour 4-7pm
Happy Hour 4-7pm
Divas @ 9:30 / No Cover
Happy Hour Free Pool
$1.75 Dom Bottles 6-9pm
$1.25 Drafts
$1.50 Corona 8pm-Mid.
$2 well & dom drafts
$3.50 margaritas/mai tai
1/2 price u call it 8-mid
Karaoke w/ Ron @ 9pm
Karaoke w/ Ron @ 9pm
$7 brunch / Strippers 10
$1 Dom. Draft Beer
$2.25 Dom/Well All Day
$5 signature martinis
Karaoke w/ Ron @ 9pm
2-4-1 from 2pm-8pm
2-4-1 from 9pm-12am
Karaoke / $3 DnkyPunch
$2 Domestic Beer
$5 Grey Goose
2-4-1 (Hotspot)
Karaoke @ 9pm
$2 Pitchers 2-7pm
.75 Happy Hr. 7-9pm
$2 Long Islands
1/2 off - w/only Undies
$2 Specials / 2-Steppin’
$2.50 L.Islnds @ 7pm
$2 Ptchrs/ 2-4-1 @ 7pm
Paco Paco & Drag
Boycott - $5 Martinis
$2 Corona @ dom pitch
CLOSED
CLOSED
Sandras Ecstasis
Dia. & Studs - 1/2 beer
Afterhrs.-Dance ‘til 4am
Afterhrs.-Dance ‘til 4am
CLOSED
CLOSED
CLOSED
CLOSED
CLOSED
Prizes and giveaways
Prizes and giveaways
Service Industry 1/2 off
2-4-1 Dances
$5OFF w/ ION Keychain
Myspace Wednesdays
$5OFF w/ ION Keychain
2-4-1 5-10p/$5 ‘tinis 5-8
2-4-1 8-10pm (Hotspot)
$2 drafts Skyy Vodka
CLOSED
CLOSED
75¢ well/drafts
Kosmic Karaoke $5 u-call
1/2 price happy hour 4-8
1/2 price happy hour 4-8
1/2 price happy hour 4-8
1/2 price happy hour 4-8
1/2 price happy hour 4-8
1/2 price happy hour 4-8
1/2 price happy hour 4-8
Karamba Dancers
No cover before 10pm
$3 Pitchers w/Diamond
CLOSED
CLOSED
$3 Pitchers w/Diamond
$3 Pitchers w/Susana
Karaoke @ 9-close
Hotbodz/Savannah 10:30
Beer Bust 2-7pm
2-4-1 7pm-close
Dart tournament
2-4-1 well & domestic
Hot Bodz/ Drag 10:30
Happy hr: $2 Dom/Well
Lunch from 11a-4p
$8 Long Island pitchers
2-4-1 beer and well
2-4-1 ALL DAY
Industry Night
College Night: $1 Dom/
Karaoke 9:30pm
Diamond Dolls 9:30pm
Beer Bust
L Word $ drinks
Karaoke 10pm
Wild Card Review 9:30
Drag Bingo 8:30pm
$2.50 well/dom. 12-8pm
$2.50 well/dom. 12-8pm
$2.50 well/dom. 12-8pm
$2.50 well/dom. 12-8pm
$2.50 well/dom. 12-8pm
$2.50 well/dom. 12-8pm
$2.50 well/dom. 12-8pm
Happy hour 11am-8pm
Happy hour 11am-8pm
Happy hour 11am-8pm
Happy hour 11am-8pm
Happy hour 11am-8pm
Happy hour 11am-8pm
Happy hour 11am-8pm
dancing with the bars
SUNDAY MARCH 30TH 5PM
86
2-4-1
WEDNESDAYS
87
87
TUCSON NIGHTLIFE
ION SEXIEST BARTENDER
BARS, RESTAURANTS, AND NIGHTLIFE
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
Ain’t Nobody’s Biz
IBT’s
Venture-N
Rainbow Planet Coffee House
Woody’s
Howl at the Moon
Yard Dog
Colors
Hydra Leather
2900 E. Broadway
616 N. 4th Ave.
1239 N. 6th Ave.
606 N. 4th Ave.
3710 N. Oracle Rd.
915 W. Prince Rd.
2449 N. Stone
5305 E. Speedway
145 E. Congress St.
(520) 318-4838
(520) 882-3053
(520) 882-8224
(520) 620-1770
(520) 292-6702
(520) 293-7339
(520) 624-3858
(520) 323-1840
(520) 791-3711
3269 N. Mountain
2902 N. Geronimo
300 E. 6th St.
375 S. Euclid Ave.
204 S. Scott Ave.
492 N. Alvernon
(520) 292-9151
(520) 622-4626
(520) 624-1779
(520) 628-7223
(520) 670-9022
(520) 299-6647
(520) 620-6245
COMMUNITY SERVICES
A
B
D
E
F
G
H
Metropolitan Community Church
Cornerstone Fellowship
Wingspan
S.A.A.F.
Royal Elizabeth Bed and Breakfast
TIHAN (Tuscon Interfaith HIV/AIDS Network)
EON Gay Youth Center
For all the Party Cam photos, go to www.ionaz.com
88
89
Aries March 21-April 19
Beware of the paparazzi! Don’t let
your mug get caught up in the scandalous situations that will surround
you in March. Use the back door and
wear big, dark sunglasses.
Taurus April 20-May 20
Keep the romance alive. Valentine’s
has come and gone, but don’t dare
revert back to being a punk and lose
your new found charm. Continue to
bring flowers, wine and dine, whisper
sweet nothings and spoil that special
somebody.
Gemini May 21-June 21
It’s time to take a sweet escape.
You’ve been waiting for the perfect
opportunity to get away and now is
the time my friend. Pack a bag, pick a
destination and get the hell outta town
as fast as you can.
Cancer June 22-July 22
Keep your nose out of gossip around
the water cooler. Remain neutral and
be above the professional back stabbing. But by all means, eavesdrop like
hell to satisfy the fact that deep down
you’re still one nosey bitch.
Leo July 23-August 22
You are what you eat. (And I highly
doubt you want that to be $26 worth
the Taco Bell at 2:00 AM). Swimsuit
season is right around the corner and
skipping the drive thru once or twice
will ensure that your Gordita sizzles
this summer.
Virgo August 23 - September 22
If you don’t have something nice to
say, then make something up. This
month kissing ass will work miracles
for you. So put on your Bonne Bell Lip
Smackers and pucker up, people.
Libra September 23-October 22
When it rains, it pours and this month
you should gear up for a monsoon.
But don’t worry honey, just be sure to
keep your umbrella close and brave
the storm. At the end there will be a
big, fat, giant, gay rainbow.
Scorpio October 23-November 21
Accessorize! Accessorize! Accessorize! March is all about dressing it
up with fabulous flare, being completely Gaudy and absolutely gorgeous. So bring it and bling it sistas’!
Sagittarius November 22 December 21
Don’t miss out on your 15 minutes of
fame this month. Keep yourself in the
spotlight and be as obnoxious as possible until someone finally notices you
for a hot minute. Repeat 15 times or
until you have no friends left.
Capricorn
December 22-January 19
Like a lucky little leprechaun, this
St. Patrick’s Day will bring you good
fortune. It might not be a pot of gold,
but with enough green beer anything
is possible.
Aquarius January 20-February 18
Buyer, beware. When you are
spending this month you may want
to second guess splurging on that
something you can’t live without. Next
month there will be a new model and
it’ll be half the price sweetie.
Pisces February 19-March 20
Life is a highway and sometimes
traffic is enough to make you want to
drive off the road with rage. Instead,
don’t try to do everything on your own
and take the car pool lane already.
91
ION PARTY CAM
92
92
by Addison DeWitt
their hand-matched Mikimoto pearls and
squirming in their plushly upholstered
banquet chairs on their plushly
upholstered bottoms when he said our
Governor looked like a high school gym
teacher at the hoity-toity event. Yikes!
“I haven’t seen a crocus or a rosebud.
Or a robin on the wing.
But I feel so gay, in a melancholy way,
That it might as well be Spring.”
Nothing heralds the advent of Spring like
- and I can’t believe I’m about to say this
- a Super Bowl party. And I actually went
to one. Believe it or not, darlings, I had
fun! Yes, me. Of course, the hospitality of
my gracious hosts, Steven Methvin and
Christopher Paris and bottle after bottle
of Ketel One vodka certainly goosed up
the fun factor. Not to mention the delicious
buffet. Oh. And the guests were tops. Well,
I’m sure fifty-percent of them were bottoms
as well. But you know what I mean.
Seems the Clarendon Hotel is becoming
the inn of choice for celebs. Their guest
list has a hefty roster of the famous.
Last month I reported Tiffani-Amber
Theissen rested her weary head on their
280-thread count Egyptian long staple
cotton sheets, and a fly on the wall told
me her Saved By The Bell alumna, the
stunning, bedimpled Mario Lopez also
dropped his drawers on their fancy floors.
Lopez, host of quality programming, like
Animal Planet’s
Pet Star and
a professional
MC of the Miss
Teen, Miss
America and
Miss Universe
pageants and
a score of
forgettable
other contests
was seen
breakfasting at
The Gay Egg
at Park Central
Mall. Despite
my relentless
wheedling
and whining, nothing could convince
Clarendon hotelier Ben Bethel to bribe
a housekeeper to steal a pair of Mario’s
dainty underpants for me. Damn! (To see
just what Mario keeps in the back half of
his undies, please see above pic.)
Make-believe
football enthusiasts
included Chad
Christian and
his beau Joe
Bushong, who
watched the
Justin Timberlake
commercial along
side Jim Fay and
Michael Gorman.
We all squealed
like schoolgirls.
Gorgeous gingerhaired beauty
Mike Mosier was
accompanied by
his handsome boyfriend Aaron Carter. I
made sure to find time to flirt with the dishy
architect Tom Gasbarre.
I was lucky enough to get an invitation to
an au tres chic cocktail party at the home
of the eternally youthful, trim and oh-sosvelte Tom Awai who must’ve used the
Ford Modeling Agency to cast his guest
list for the shindig, there were so many
gorgeous men there. How’d I get invited?
Don’t answer that.
Scant days later, veteran octogenarian
actress of stage and screen, Cloris
Leachman called The Clarendon “home”
for a week. As much as I love her, I didn’t
really care to have a pair of her panties for
a souvenir. A simple autograph was fine.
Everyone in the Phoenix Fluff ‘n’ Tuck
Society turned out for the Human Rights
Campaign fundraising dinner in the new
Phoenix Convention Center. Word is that
television’s posterqueer, comedian Alec
Mapa had the carriage trade clutching
“Laissez les bon temps roulez!” Mardi
Gras celebrated for the ninth time at
Amsterdam with the requisite beads,
signature entertainment and the fabled
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“Jager luge.” Oh. My. God. If I could
remember who was there, I’d tell you.
bar in town. Some of you may remember
the oldest gay bar - a little shack that shall
remain nameless. Back in the last century of
the last millennium it used to be a lot of fun.
Ah, yes. How I remember those madcap
nights and Beer Busts of long ago. It’s is
still open but its days are numbered, I hear.
Soon the old watering hole may a thing of
the past, closing its doors for good, its glory
days long behind it. Que sera, sera.
Across town B.S. West was rocking full tilt
with their “Heaven & Hell Party” with that
glam ‘n’ gorgeous gal on the go, Barbra
Seville tossing out beads with wild abandon
to lusty boys who were willing to do anything
for a string of cheap plastic beads from
China. Many thanks to the curly-locked boy
named Slade who gave me an eyeful of
James and the Giant Peaches and promptly
denuded me of my beads. Sadly that was all
he wanted from me.
A big congrats go out to the ASU’s gay
fraternity Sigma Phi Beta! Those frisky little
Sun Devils worked hard and were selected
as Chapter of the Year besting 24 other
frats based on their community service,
scholarship and other criteria. I’d love to be
part of their hazing! Reminds of my days as
a pledge of I Phelta Thi.
The real excitement happened upstairs when
Barbra judged who had the most beads.
And, oh my nerves! - you’d be amazed what
Barbra can do to convince a boy to drop his
Underoos for a prize. I love that party!
“It’s gettin’ hot in here. Let’s take off all
our clothes.” Honey, I don’t know if I’m
having hot flashes or it’s the strippers, but
Pumphouse II so much fun when those
very talented young men, like Gage or
Havok, take the stage every Saturday
night when they display their prodigious
- er - “talent,” let’s say. And it’s amazing
how friendly they are when you wave
green pieces of paper with pictures of dead
president’s on them! Personally, I’m waiting
to see that handsome devil Jason, the
bartender, up on stage. Love him! Woof,
woof, darling! Come for the booze, but
stay for the boys! I love the investigative
reporting I do for my job. And I’m so good
at it, too.
Apollo’s raised nearly $9,000 for charity
thanks to their dedicated staff and the
generosity of their patrons. The Turnabout
Show brought back the talents of those
Desperate Trailerwives Sarah Bell-Palsey
and Anita Sparkle who reached down deep
within their lipsticked souls to entertain the
crowd and ask them to reach down deep
within their pockets to make donations
benefiting troubled GLBT youth at Project
Greenhouse. The showstopping Leona Bar
brought down the bar with her rendition of
Christina Aguilera’s “Beautiful” for the finale.
The very next night Apollo’s was the place
to be for the 2nd Annual “Sexiest Bartender
Contest” where we got to see the gay bars’
hottest guys with dishpan hands shake their
moneymakers for charity. The winsome
Steven Griswold took home the award this
year after some tough competition from a
bevy of young, hardbodied beauties, like 2nd
Place Winner, BS West dreamboat Shawn
Thompson. My favorite part of the evening
was when icepics’ darling Robert Pena’s
not-so-darling, pasty-faced boyfriend nearly
knocked my wig off when he caught my
wandering hands traveling a little south of the
border of Robert’s underwear band. Really,
dearie! Don’t you want to share the wealth?
After all, I did donate to the cause! Tsk, tsk!
Look for a photo spread of the award winning
studs in our next issue.
Get ready for Pride, everybody! It gets better
and better every year. But why doesn’t the
Pride Committee let the Porn Stars and
blue movie video distributors participate
anymore? Why the restrictions? C’mon!
Porn Stars are gay, too. For the right price.
Besides, a little naughty never hurt anybody.
Much.
See you at the parade, petunias!
Send cards, letters, floral bouquets
and cash gifts to Addison in care
of this magazine or write to him at
[email protected]. His high moral
values, code of ethics and other virtues
prohibit bribery, but he can be bought for the
price of a cocktail and a salted peanut. He
stoops to conquer.
It looks like Apollo’s may soon lose its
ranking as second oldest gay bar in town,
inheriting the coveted title as the oldest gay
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