Scri be Repo rt 1553 – – Decemb ber 9th 20 013

Nex
xt Run – De
ecember 16
6th 2013
Scribe Report 1553 – Decemb
ber 9th 20
013
Hares: Me
ental Disord
der & Mensttrual Disord
der
7 Hashers this week!!
77
Hares: Mental
M
& Menstrual
M
D
Disorder
Scribe by: Biggus Dicku
us
At the pre-run
p
circle the hares promissed us an easyy run, a flat runn, a dry
run. Afteer the past few
w weeks wheree the trails had us strugglingg down
raging rivers
r
and dod
dging avalancches while clam
moring up rockky cliffs,
an easy flat dry run souunded like manna from hash heaven.
h
What the hares did noot tell us thouggh was for mosst of the 7.5K trail
t we
would bee running on sooft sand: it was like a beach ruun without the sea;
s like
trying too dance the polka in a wheat silo; we were like Italian peeasants
squashing grapes wiith their feet. Then
T
there werre the Thai-spud fields
– througgh a spud fieldd we went, onlly to arrive minnutes later at another
a
spud fieeld, and another, then anotherr, then yet anotther… Will we forever
remembber run 1553 as the “Spuds & Sand” run?
Howeveer, to their credit the hares did set us a sceenic run that paassed a
delightfuul little shady lakeside nook. And
A although thee hares had fucck all to
do with it, there was a stunning su
unset vista oveer the spud fiellds and
coconut trees. Plus it was
w a most welcomed changee, after the runss of the
past couuple of months, to return to th
he beer truck with
w dry shoes.
Back att the run site our graying gaggle
g
of pot--bellied, beer-sswilling,
bullshittiing PH3 hasheers and their delectable haarriets carried out the
usual weekly
w
post-mortems and genneral chit-chat until this weekk’s GM
WANK-K
KING’S WANK
KER called the circle. First buusiness was reeturning
runner CHARLIE
C
MAN
NSON who haad lost his sunnglasses on thhe trail.
Fortunattely for CHARL
LIE, harriet HA
AWKEYE spotteed his glasses lying in
the soft beach sand in one of the spud fields. (It wass HAWKEYE’s day for
finding lost glasses ass at the end of the circle she rescued the scribe’s
glassess from the grouund when, afterr he ducked offf for a quick pisss, SIR
FREE WILLY
W
whisked away his seat, dropping his brand new specctacles
in the act). Then the GM
G gave the hares their first icing for the evening,
followedd by a bucketingg for the cheekyy bastards for having
h
the audaacity to
ice the GM himself during the pree-run amble without
w
officiallyy being
granted ice-power.
The PH
H3 Weekly Rafffle followed. Since
S
SIR BOT
TTOMLESS PIT
P was
absent G.I.
G JOE took charge, and with
w SQUEEZE
E MY TUBE asssisting
they managed again too withdraw everry number but mine from the box.
RA EMP
PEROR AIRHE
EAD took the circle and immeddiately iced the hares,
along with
w Webmasteer WANK-KING
G’S WANKER for not knowing the
differencce between hiss left nut and his right nut. This
T was follow
wed by
LINEAR
R ACCELERAT
TOR and NECR
ROPHILIA NIG
GHT RIDER for some
rather hazy vague offeense about drinking at TQ andd practicing Ku
ung Fu
A-S
Site Mis-Dirrections:
Fro
om Soi Thep Prasit follow Sukhumvit Road
R
south 13 km and
turrn left into Buuddha Mountaiin Road. Conttinue 5.5 km until
u
just
beffore the Goldden Buddha im
mage and turrn left into thhe paved
roaad (HHH). Foollow the roaad about 1 km
m and turn leeft again
(HHH) continuinng another 5000 m and turn left into the dirt
d track
beh
hind a brick wall
w (HHH). IIn another 100
0 m you will arrive at
A-Site near a sm
mall lake.
REMEMBER
R
R – NEW PIC
CK-UP POIN
NT 23 DECEM
MBER
BUFFALO BAR - THIR
RD ROAD nea
ar SOI LENG
GKE
mo
oves with the laadyboys on thee beach road opposite
o
It was
w time for som
me awards so the circle was handed back too the GM
who granted awaards to both CR
RAZY PUSSY and MARATHO
ON MAN
for recently comp
pleting 100 runns each. And to both SIR FREE WILLY
andd SIR ARSE-A
A-HOLIC for rrecently complleting 550 run
ns each.
Congratulations too all of you. W
Well done guyys & gals! Tw
wo Hashy
Birtthdays fell this week: PELER (12th December) and KIDNE
EY BEAN
(155th December)). KIDNEY BE
EAN was accompanied by her dad
GE
ENERAL KIDNE
EY WIPER, whoo took his seat on the watery throne.
t
Thee GM handed the circle over tto hare MENTA
AL DISORDER who iced
all the Pommies & Aussies beefore organizingg an international beerdrinnking contest. Naturally
N
Scotlland won. Thenn MENTAL DIS
SORDER
iced the newlywedds HORSE and CRAZY PUSS
SY.
Aroound this time the GM whisperred in my ear thhat as this weekk’s scribe
Page 1
Pattaya Hash House Harriers – Run 1553 – December 9TH 2013
Pattaya Hash House Harriers – About Us
Meeting Place: Near Family Mart,
2nd
Future Hares, call Hare Raiser Horse, 0879068280 Road @ Soi 13/1
Run#
Date
Hares On On
Every Monday at 3:15. The Bus leaves at 3:30 promptly.
1554
1555*
1556*
1557
Dec 16
Dec 23
Dec 30
Jan 06
Mental Disorder & Menstrual Disorder
Christmas – VV & Sir Bottomless Pit
New Year’s – VV & No More Cum
30 Year Anniversary – VV & LCF
FLB Bar
M Club
TQ
Dinner
Run Prices: Male 350B, Female 150B, Children 50B
NEW PICKUP POINT – STARTING 23rd December
Buffalo Bar – Pattaya 3rd Road near Soi Lengke
Please visit our web site www.pattayah3.com
If you want to be a hare but not sure how, contact Hare Raiser and we can help
you partner with an experienced hare. Enjoy a great part of hashing – Hare a run!
* Map needed
49 Hashers who were Hashing the previous week
181 1/4 POUNDER WITH CHEESE; 440 BALL RINGER; 114 BENGT POTATO; 14 BIGGUS DICKUS; 266 CABBAGE QUEEN; 39 CAMEL
HUMPER; 211 CRACK MY COCCYX; 4 CRAPPER; 103 CRAZY PUSSY; 37 DESERT SCORPION; 238 EMPTY SPERMBANK; 333 FESTERING
STREAKER; 4 G SPOT; 476 G.I. JOE; 133 GANGREEN; 622 GENERAL KIDNEY WIPER; 31 GOLDEN WATERFALL; 9 HAWKEYE;
136 HORSE; 12 JINGLE BALLS; 286 KARAMBA; 530 LADY FLIPPER; 36 LADY GAGA; 173 LIBERACE; 32 LINEAR ACCELERATOR;
44 LITTLE WHITE DOVE; 102 MARATHON MAN; 62 MENTAL DISORDER; 582 MRS. HEAD; 36 NECROPHILIA NIGHT RIDER; 10 PAROU
PAROU; 236 PELER; 260 PIG PUSHER SWINE STABBER; 146 ROBBING BASTARD; 58 RUNNING BARE; 159 SEAL SUCKER; 552 SIR ARSEA-HOLIC; 550 SIR FREE WILLY; 557 SIR MC; 557 SIR REALLY SADISTIC BASTARD; 723 SIR SPAGHETTI HEAD; 27 SIR WANDA;
299 SQUEEZE MY TUBE; 120 STEPTOE; 261 STINKY SLOPPY SECONDS; 259 SWEETIE; 93 TINY ANAL TORPEDO; 657 VIETNAMESE
VIOLATOR; 156 WANK-KING’S WANKER
19 Returners
169 BANGKA BLOWER; 111 BLACK HOLE; 499 BOW WOW; 86 CABBAGE PRINCESS; 347 CHARLIE MANSON; 18 CHARLIE’S BULLET HOLE; 19
CHUCKY; 195 DOESN’T TOUCH THE SIDES; 1242 EMPEROR AIRHEAD; 383 FOWL FUCKER; 76 HELIUM HEAD; 127 KIDNEY BEAN; 93 KIDNEY STONE; 135
NO MORE CUM; 651 SIR DOG; 409 SNOOPY; 76 SPECIAL PRICE; 122 TWO TIME; 295 VELCRO DICK
8 Visitors with their Total Runs
1 AWOL – Axarquia H3, Spain
2 RED ROCKET – BH3, California, USA
1 Jeff Miller – Pattaya Jungle Hash, Thailand
5 POL DANCER – Puerto Galera Hash, Philippines
1 SUCK IT OUT – Axarquia H3, Spain
3 RANDY BRANDY – Lagos Hash, Nigeria
1 Dao Thongkom – Pattaya Jungle Hash, Thailand
12 NUT CRACKER – Royal South Side Hash, HK, China
4 Anniversaries
SIR ARSE-A-HOLIC – 550th Run
SIR FREE WILLY – 550th Run
CRAZY PUSSY – 100th Run
MARATHON MAN – 100th Run
1 Hash Name
2 Birthdays
PELER – 12th December
KIDNEY BEAN – 15th December
MISS TONED changed to SUCK IT OUT
I could delegate the scribe for next week. So being the kind, friendly,
considerate man that I am, I delegated that legendary hasher SIR
WANDA, as I knew he’d greatly appreciate a ring-side seat at next week’s
circle along with a free-piss day (not to be confused with a piss-free day)
the following week.
The circle went back to the GM who was becoming delirious and frothing
at the mouth with ice power by this time as he unleashed an orgy of
bare bums, lined cheek to ugly cheek on the watery throne: BALL
RINGER and others for not wearing official HHH shirts. SIR FREE
WILLY for losing his whistle and associating with a recently escaped
criminal still wearing his prison stripes. Then SIR SPAGHETTI HEAD, NO
MORE CUM, and SIR WANDA were singled out for their dazzling,
elaborate, patch-festooned hash attire. They were followed by visitors Jeff
Miller from PJH3 and SUCK IT OUT and AWOL from Axarquia H3,
Spain. Apparently at some stage in the past harriet SUCK IT OUT found
her hash name offensive and had it changed to MISS TONED. So our wise
GM, with the power invested in him by PH3, promptly renamed her SUCK
IT OUT again.
Around this time I was busting for a piss so I shot off into the shadows,
when I returned SIR WANDA was in the bucket for some hash crime
unknown to me, and the GM (still delirious with ice power) was icing
scores of returning runners and visitors, some of whom were CHUCKY,
CHARLIE MANSON, RED ROCKET, NO MORE CUM, BANGKA
BLOWER, POL DANCER (there were others as hash stats for run 1553
show a total of 27 returning runners, so forgive me if I haven’t mentioned
you by name)
The hares then got their 3rd, or was it their 4th. Maybe it was their 5th.
Hang on I think it was their 6th…icing, before the GM called upon the
hares to sing us a song. Naturally they didn’t want to show us their
rings, so the bastards sang. Aided by STEPTOE and BALL RINGER,
MENTAL DISORDER singled out harriets G SPOT, HAWKEYE, TONG
and SUCK IT OUT to participate in some strange avian fertility rite. Just
as well there were no CCTV cameras in the coconut trees or PH3 would
have been in breach of Thailand’s public decency act for that
licentious dance.
As the circle was shrinking and disintegrating into a dangerous drunken
rabble by this time, the GM iced the returners and visitors again. We
then raised our voices towards that great check in the sky with the Hash
Hymn and PH3 went forth to multiply.
On On Biggus Dickus
Page 2