Scri be Repo rt 1552 – – Decemb ber 2nd 20 013

Nex
xt Run – De
ecember 9th 2013
Scribe Report 1552 – Decemb
ber 2nd 20
013
Hares: Horse & Mental Disorder
D
6 Hashers this week!!
65
Hares: Nig
ght Rider & Linear Ac
ccelerator
Sc
cribe by: Sir Free Willly
“The aveerage American
n working man is two weeks pay
p check’s awaay from
Skid Row
w” – John Steinbeck, 1935.
“Power tends
t
to corrupt, and absolute power corruptss absolutely. Greeat men
are almo
ost always bad men.”
m
– John Em
merich Dalberg, 1882.
Socrates said, “Old age and
a treachery will
w always overccome youth and
d skill.”
As todayy’s ( almost ) virg
gin hares ( if you include a third share hare with VV and
TAMPAX
X for NN ) NECROPHILIA NIGH
HT RIDER & LIN
NEAR ACCELERATOR
had a combined age of 120 it was with soome trepidation that
t I jumped in the
t jamjar to heaad for today’s A-S
Site, The Queen Sirikit Conservvation Park…. Ottherwise
known ass the Aussie Run
n Site.
The prevvious week I hadd sought reassuraance from our haares that they haad been
given thee usual permissioon to use the Quueens grounds and
a in true hare tradition
the agingg septic tanks assured me thaat EMPEROR AIRHEAD
A
had arranged
a
everythinng……………..
A-S
Site Mis-Dirrections:
Upon arrrival the spot noormally used had already been commandeered for the
upcomingg King’s Birthdaay celebrations so
s the standby soft
s ground A-Sitte a few
metres away
a
was hastiily substituted with
w SIR SPAG
GHETTI HEAD gainfully
g
employedd directing the traaffic.
Fro
om Pattaya Klang,
K
follow
w Sukhumvit Road north and
a join
Hw
wy 7 towardss Bangkok. P
Pass under Hwy
H
36 and continue
c
ano
other 4.4 km. Exit onto thee frontage road
d (HHH) makking a Uturrn, and continnue back to the underpasss under Hwyy 7 and
im
mmediately turnn right into thhe frontage roaad on the otheer side of
Hw
wy 7. Continuue for 600m ((HHH) and tu
urn left (HHH
H). After
2.7
7 m turn right (HHH) into thhe A-Site.
After lastt weeks higher thhan normal numbbers for the Live Hare run it was back to
normalityy with plus 60 signs-ups for a projjected run aroundd the hills…..Or not
n as is
the hares whim. That iss the beauty of the Hash…Thee Hash is like a box of
chocolatees….You never know what you are going to gett…..except stickyy fingers
maybe.
Circcle called and ouur illustrious GM S
SCAR WITH 2 T’S ices the dynam
mic duo to
talkk about today’s innaugural effort. TTwo checks placeed too close apaart was the
main gripe but if thaat remains the w
worst of their sinss we are all in foor a fruitful
timee with these two.
Circle caalled and new shoes blessed annd off into the now
n very familiaar abyss
traipsed the motley. As I myself had harred last weeks near
n
nine kilometre Live
Hare Run as well as partticipating in another substantial jaaunt in the weekk a quick
wobble to
t the first checkk was enough for
f me for the day. It was goodd to see
however almost all of the runners actuallyy leave the A-Sitee and make somee sort of
semblancce of effort relatinng to exercise.
SMC wass the first noticeaable returnee…noticeable becausse of his increasing girth
maybe (I cannot stand it when man lets himself
h
go), bellyyaching (lets facee it there
is enoughh of it these dayss) about Hash Shit for the hares. Luckily NECRO
OPHILIA
NIGHT RIDER
R
had laid on
o a few on-site barbequed
b
burgeers to smooth anyy mither
so most evidence
e
of oftenn present malconntent old gits whinning about long runs
r
etc.
was happpily concealed.
Prior to the
t circle WANK
K-KING’S WANK
KER asks me to scribe which cauught me
without paper
p
or pen. Solomon Tauber, a survivor of Auscchwitz wrote the diary of
his experriences on his leggs for the duratioon of his incarcerration in the deatth camp.
That’s a bit much even foor a dedicated meember of the hasshing community such as
your scriibe so not having any notebook to hand at the time of being askked I will
recant whhat I can remembber and leave thee rest to artisticc license.
Rafffle conducted byy SIR BOTTOMLLESS PIT. No microwaves and CD
C players
as when
w
your scribee was raffle masster but that’s thee price of an efficciently run
hassh I suppose..
WA
ANK-KING’S WA
ANKER takes thee circle for the sttats report. In thee words of
Sir Winston Churchiill, ” There are liies,damned lies and statistics”.. While we
struuggling for his noorth and south too link up with hiss bacon I rejecteed a more
conntentious PH3 statistic related reemark and not wishing
w
to upset the status
quoo simply barked to the memory lacking RA “Yo
our I.Q. is 4… that is a
statistic”.
Thaat got me a seaat in the buckett and something wet and slippeery up my
arse…. Not for the first
f time as I reccall. WW finally reemembers why he
h is in the
b
SFW w
was falsely incarrcerated eighteeen months
circcle……..It was because
agoo… A butterfly flaaps its wings in thhe high court in London
L
and caussed a tidal
wavve on the PH3.
Mosst of the Anniverrsary recipients had long departeed which does beggar
b
the
poinnt… If people cannot be botherred with staying for the circle why
w bother
disppensing diminishhing PH3 funds oon awards they clearly are not fazed
f
with
receiving anyway?
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Pattaya Hash House Harriers – Run 1552 – December 2nd 2013
Pattaya Hash House Harriers – About Us
Meeting Place: Near Family Mart,
2nd
Future Hares, call Hare Raiser Horse, 0879068280 Road @ Soi 13/1
Run#
Date
Hares On On
Every Monday at 3:15. The Bus leaves at 3:30 promptly.
1553
1554
1555*
1556*
Dec 9
Dec 16
Dec 23
Dec 30
Horse & Mental Disorder
Mental Disorder & Menstrual Disorder
Christmas – VV & Sir Bottomless Pit
New Year’s – Tampax & Zenergy
Jameson’s
FLB Bar
M Club
TQ
Run Prices: Male 350B, Female 150B, Children 50B
NEW PICKUP POINT – STARTING 23rd December
Buffalo Bar – Pattaya 3rd Road near Soi Lengke
Please visit our web site www.pattayah3.com
If you want to be a hare but not sure how, contact Hare Raiser and we can help
you partner with an experienced hare. Enjoy a great part of hashing – Hare a run!
* Map needed
49 Hashers who were Hashing the previous week
180 1/4 POUNDER WITH CHEESE; 439 BALL RINGER; 113 BENGT POTATO; 13 BIGGUS DICKUS; 171 CABBAGE HEAD; 265 CABBAGE
QUEEN; 38 CAMEL HUMPER; 210 CRACK MY COCCYX; 102 CRAZY PUSSY; 36 DESERT SCORPION; 42 FREQUENT STREAKER;
475 G.I. JOE; 132 GANGREEN; 621 GENERAL KIDNEY WIPER; 8 HAWKEYE; 135 HORSE; 11 JINGLE BALLS; 285 KARAMBA; 529 LADY
FLIPPER; 35 LADY GAGA; 172 LIBERACE; 31 LINEAR ACCELERATOR; 43 LITTLE WHITE DOVE; 305 LONE WOLF; 101 MARATHON MAN;
61 MENTAL DISORDER; 581 MRS. HEAD; 35 NECROPHILIA NIGHT RIDER; 235 PELER; 259 PIG PUSHER SWINE STABBER; 145 ROBBING
BASTARD; 57 RUNNING BARE; 165 SCAR WITH TWO T’S; 551 SIR ARSE-A-HOLIC; 537 SIR BOTTOMLESS PIT; 549 SIR FREE WILLY;
556 SIR MC; 556 SIR REALLY SADISTIC BASTARD; 722 SIR SPAGHETTI HEAD; 72 SMELLY BASTARD; 298 SQUEEZE MY TUBE;
119 STEPTOE; 260 STINKY SLOPPY SECONDS; 258 SWEETIE; 272 TREE FROG; 656 VIETNAMESE VIOLATOR; 2 WANKER;
22 WANKING; 155 WANK-KING’S WANKER
11 Returners
176 CHEAP NORGY CUNT; 237 EMPTY SPERMBANK; 332 FESTERING STREAKER; 30 GOLDEN WATERFALL; 62 HULK; 11 RUNNING DEER;
158 SEAL SUCKER; 26 SIR WANDA; 31 SUZY WONG; 92 TINY ANAL TORPEDO; 150 TRY-A-FUCK
3 Visitors with their Total Runs
3 CRAPPER – LA Union Hash, Philippines
9 PAROU PAROU – Puerto Galera Hash, Philippines
3 G SPOT – LA Union Hash, Philippines
2 Virgins
Vidar Grimstad; Karl Heimdal
1 Anniversary
TRY-A-FUCK – 150 Runs completed
1 Leaver
SCAR WITH 2T’S
1 Birthday
TRY-A-FUCK – 6th December
MENTAL DISORDER ices SW2T to take the circle to talk about events on another
hash. 1st Commandment: Thou shalt not worship any graven image than
mine. Here endth the lesson.
In the absence of EMPEROR AIRHEAD, CABBAGE HEAD takes over as bad RA
to ice the hares and draws attention the aforementioned closely laid checks.
GENERAL KIDNEY WIPER and SRSB are put on ice and the assembled hashers
all look to the sky for crashing helicopters… I forget what they were on the ice for in
the first place…. Who has the biggest chopper maybe.
Virgins and Visitors dealt with by the GM.
SFW is then giving the wet deaf and dumb treatment for last weeks Live Hare. CH
falsely claiming that SFW (who has been listening to false claims concerning his
deeds for the last 18 months so what is new already) laid the paper on a motor
bike. I will say now with my hand on a stack of Korans that I laid last weeks paper
the way I live my life…. Straight and Narrow and True and with Christian
Diligence. To quote Javare, “Honest Work and Just Reward..That’s the way to
please the Lord”….. including last Monday lots of paper hanging!!!
I must pass on a reflection here on the circle conduct of the two hares. When SFW
is haring I am flying… I want everything to go well which of course it usually does
and can at times get worked up with anyone in my way. LINEAR ACCELERATOR
was the personification of American cool. Lay back with a beer in his hand
casually handing the down-downs to his boson buddy NECROPHILIA NIGHT
RIDER.
NECROPHILIA NIGHT RIDER on the other hand was the personification of the
brow beaten coolie. Mincing between the down-down table and the ice occupants
along the lines of “You likeee down-downee”… I thought for a minute he was
going to do their laundry!!!
It is also noted that possibly for a first time we have trio of hasher’s going by the
respective names of WANK-KING’S WANKER, WANKING and WANKER….Any
offers for a better set of triplets.?.
scribe for next week. An array of people who have either or who are
representative of individuals who have pissed him in the last year or more
including FESTERING STREAKER, HULK, WANKING and SEAL SUCKER
were suitably iced while the assembled were informed there was to be a virgin
scribe for Run 1553 in the name of BIGGUS DICKUS….Good Luck old man.
The hares have no song as was expected, so not for the first time the English
come to the rescue of the Old Colonials and STEPTOE provides the
entertainments while the two geriatrics languish on the ice. But all in all a good
effort from the hares and just about a good circle squeezed from the stayers.
On the subject of future runs after the Mismanagement announced it was
reserving up to 90,000 Baht to finance the upcoming PH3 Anniversary Run.
SIR FREE WILLY scribe has personally arranged one more for Santa Claus to
make an appearance at this years Christmas Run on the 23rd of December.
While on the dog and bone to Santa at Tuesday’s PH3 monthly meeting, St Nick
did make the point to SFW that it was pointless him showing up if he had an
empty sack.
So….SFW has persuaded the Mismanagement to finance both presents for the
kids and also especially on Santa‘s behest presents for the cracks… There
will also be the usual barrel of Christmas mulled wine produced by the hare
SIR BOTTOMLESS PIT and all paid for by, well the paying sign-ups as it’s their
money after all. So tell your friends and if like HORSE you do not have any
import some.
Hash Hymn strangled then it is off to Secrets for the happy hour which I will
assume in persona abstentia was the usual hearty fare. If I have forgotten
anyone my apologies.
Faces and Fannies I never forget but names are for tombstones.
On On
Sir Free Willy
Being this week’s scribe SFW has to keep on the ridiculous practice of choosing a
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